please dont drop it

Honestly, hurt you over it? Nope.

But If I'm honest I'm really not comfertable with it either. Maybe it's becase I'm an avid Skyrim fan and had my own fair share of playthroughs of the game, but I just can't see the Dovakiin be some subservient little girl.

It just feels wrong. Maybe that has to do with the fact that all the Dragonborns I played as were headstrong and never bowed to anyone. Not the Divines, not the Daedra, not the Stormcloaks and not the Empire.

I've never played a Dragonborn that took shit from anyone, so it's weird to read about a Dragonborn that does do just that. Out of her own free will no less...

Dove's familiar would probably be... another dragon that she would in a seriousness beat up then bind

"Why do humans write stories? Why do they create a world purely of fiction?" asked the Keeper.

The Holder turned in confusion. "The same reason that birds fly and leafs rustle in the wind. Is is their way to do so", the Holder answered. "They see their world, and wish to create a new one for a purpose. Political, inspirational or perhaps some other reason."

The Keeper was still unconvinced. "Then why write about struggles? Wars, hatred, disease and other misfortunes? Why not make a perfect world?"

"Because the humans realize the world is not perfect", the Holder chuckled. "They know the world is full of these things. They cannot accept a world without them. In their eyes, it would be 'unrealistic'."

"Unrealistic? You say the humans can accept a world of magic, but not one without struggles", the Keeper asked outraged.

"Is it so strange?" The Holder frowned. "Of course, that's not what is bothering you."

"This story..." The Keeper slowly said, "holds struggles, but."

The Holder waited for them to continue.

"The main character do not hold these struggles. I believe the humans calls it a...", the Keeper checked their notes. "A mary sue."

"A bold claim. And I suspect you will explain?"

"The main character, a person called Dove, seems to be the perfect being", the Keeper started. She is seen as the most beautiful being by whomever she meets. Men, women and even dragons are struck by her looks. Yet, she seemingly remains oblivious to this fact. Hardly believable."

"And you think this makes her a mary sue?", the Holder broke in.

"It's not just that", the Keeper continued. "She is constantly the one who point out the flaws and mistakes of others. It is as if the author has placed the character above things such as flaws. She will happen upon a solution, and then berate others for not thinking of it, not realizing her hypocrisy. She will be a power unrivaled in that world, yet unable to affect any meaningful change. Like how she is able to slow time, yet still could not change another character's death. Yet, despite of this, everyone who knows her will look to her as a guiding light. People who don't like her are without exception either a villain, or misguided. But through this, she apparently does not have any real flaws."

"Do you not consider issues with her dragon soul to be a flaw?"

"No. The explanation of a character has inner demons is not a true flaw if it does not truly impact her negatively. She will act hurt, confused and angry, but despite this, her behavior towards other characters hardly changes, and everyone will not change their outlook on her, even after she ate other people."

"They do not change their outlooks because of their friendship. Her friends would not see it as her faults", the Holder cut in.

"That is the opinion of the blind whom choose to ignore the faults of their friends. A friend can and should recognize each other faults, and call each other out when the need comes, lest the thoughts of unaccountability sets in. Her friends says she should not worry, because their view has been tarnished by perfection. And that is the problem of Dove. Her author has created her to be strong and perfect, thinking it to be a strength, and not the flaw that it is."

"And you do not think it is to early to judge?"

"No, because this chapter stands as an example of whit I've said. The story has remained ignorant of the actuality of Dove's actions, and has adopted a sense of entitlement. I might even go as far as to say the author is using Dove as a selfinsert, with such an ignorance of Dove's action. It stems from her most blatant hypocrisy, and the first one made on purpose. In this chapter, Dove makes the other characters swear to respect her religion, yet when her time comes to do the same, she has no respect. The author blatantly uses Dove and the universe she is from to make a statement, not realizing the mistakes made, or the hypocrisy."

The Holder raised an eyebrow at this. "Mistakes?"

"She accuses the Founder of genocide and racism against elves, while the religion of the Nine Divines that she follows, which was created by a person carrying out a genocide against elves, is sanctioning slavery, racism and discrimination based on a person's beliefs. And most importantly, genocide against elves. Her god, Talos, carried out a genocide against elves. She is the leader of a group that commited genocide against elves and routinely is racist against them. But the story doesn't call her out. She gets to be the one to chastise others." The Keeper took a deep breath. "I am not surprised though. The author has showed a supreme lack of understanding of the lore behind the world from which Dove hails."

"Oh?"

"I will keep this short, because many of my points has been forgotten due to the amount. First of all, the story does not consider the significance of a bosmer worshipping the Nine. She even hunts. She says she moved away from her homeland, but in reality she would be hunted down for her heresy if she returned. She has broken the Green Pact. Secondly, the Thu'um is not magic. It is rewriting the natural laws and has no connection to magicka. The author do also not realize the existence of jills, the more powerful female dragons. The gods of the elder scrolls, are not simply powerful creatures. The depiction of Akatosh falls flat on its nose. Dragons are not ordinary creatures. They live and breath the Thu'um. To them, three words is just more simple, but all words are shouts. You do not need to think as a dragon, which is impossible for a mortal, you simply need to understand the nature of the word. Yol is fire, but also the heat and the way it moves."

The Holder couldn't help but laugh. "And you don't think you are too harsh?"

"No. Simply writing 'good job' or something similar, does nothing but create an incentive to not improve. If the author doesn't think things need to improve, then they will not improve. Nitpicking comments are needed to help the author give more thought to what they write. The author can be defensive and not improve, or they can seize the opportunity and think about what was said. If they do that, they'll be able to improve. The critic might seem negative, but it stems from wanting authors to improve. Whether it works is up to them"

The Holder left to ponder what had been said, not saying a word as they did. The Keeper waited for a bit, before returning to the story. There was a long way to go.

Meh. I was bored and wanted to do something new with this review. SD out...

Very little "pure knowledge" is known about the Void in terms of Canon, but we have many "tainted" accounts, and information from various sources. (Flere: For example, the reader gets told accounts by Vittorio, but we don't know if he's really telling the truth)

It is really hard to talk about What it Truly is for this reason, as Yamaguchi purposefully made it unclear to be resolved in the final books which he died before completing. (He does this very well by making every account of the Void and its Powers very unreliable due to the 6000 year timespan, and keeping all factions and their beliefs in character and in line in accordance to that timegap)

Anyway, from the purely mechanical side of things, it seems that "Void" is based off of Quantum Mechanics/Sub-atomic particles and manipuation. While normal human magic forces their "Logic" upon the world working on "Grains" of substances (shown to be the molecular/atomic level by Earth Magic descriptions), Void takes this further and manipulates "Grains within Grains". From what we see, and what is implied, much like how we have subatomic particles that govern mass, magnetism, and charge, there seems to also be something there that deals with Magic too in the ZnT universe.

We know this because Void seems to "Cancel", or "Void" the other magics it comes across, yet it still maintains its own magics.

Some things to note about Void Magic:

Brimir "Split" the void, which means that the void currently being used in ZnT is different from the one he was using, and much limited and "nerfd" so.

After the Void was "split", Void Mages basically get an "understanding" of a spell put into their heads every time they "unlock" a spell. Void magic spells are extremely complex, so they can only use the "intuition" they have and do not seem to be able to "engineer" void spells purposefully at all.

The power of a Void Magic spell is tied to how the incantation - Void magic incantations are extremely long and complex, and change depending on the situation.

When we talk of "Void" as a Taint, it seems that Void twists the minds of its users, and has other effects on the world that could not be considered beneficial. The Elves (as knights of Nature) see the effects as a taint/blight upon the world, and there is quite a few exemplars that show that the Void is not as benevolent as it is portrayed by the Romalian Church.

ZnT magic is unlike many magical systems in fiction today. There really is no "Magic Attack" versus "Magic Resist" (It's more akin to a gunfight, where both sides know one clean hit kills them, so it's far more complex of a battle system), and unlike Harry Potter where spells are self-contained until they hit something or do something, most ZnT magic is focused on creating magical constructs and then sending them through the air or applying them to other things. ZnT magic on the surface looks like mana based ZnT magic on the surface looks like traditional "Functional Magic", however there are a few changes that often trip people up and make it seem like there are no rules..

First off, Markey magic (as this was first used by the Markey people in canon, see below) definitely follows the idea that "Magic A is Magic A", and comes from the school that Magic is "Applying one's own logic onto the world".

Secondly, even though we often say the word "Mana", Markey magic is not powered by Mana in the traditional sense. It is powered by "Willpower" which is a far more complex system that's also tied to emotion and the mage's ability itself.

Furthermore, in almost all cases, spells need incantations to work, and basically always need to work through a focus. To maintain/modify spells incantations must be constantly used/chanted. Because of this, you cannot cast two spells at the same time. Some spells have "lingering effects" to compensate, but then those effects cannot be changed/modified.

Also, a spell's power, and to an extent its effect(s), is based on the person casting it - that is to say it's affected by who's casting it in various ways.

The next thing to note is that the mage creates a magical construct, and this construct is the "logic" they are forcing upon the world. This results in the desired effect appearing. (Derflinger cuts through and "eats away" at this construct). However, the effects are still physical effects. They don't just go away because the spell fizzles. They are throwing balls of fire, spires of stone, shards of ice.

Lastly, an interesting thing to note is that while we don't know everything about this system, it seems that Yamaguchi did design something that is consistent, and we have definite evidence as these seemingly tangential threads are tied together in another tidbit he dropped: Magic is rooted in the Brain, especially the individual differences in people's brain structures and mental selves.

Ugh the Dragonborn is female? Immediately lost interest

Rereading the story. yeah you might need to recheck your math as by this chapter Dove is only 5-6 days pregnant. she would have no way of knowing she was pregnant at this point without Mara outright stating it like what happened. chapter 61 the day after the threesome where Dove became pregnant. chapters 62&63 the next day Dove crafted the statue for the alter and the group arrived in Skyrim happens. they spend 4 days in Skyrim

Question during the threesome did Kirche also get pregnant even though 30 chapters have gone by not much time in story has passed.

Wait when did the inheritance cycle get mixed in here?

Hey it's me Dovgrahdeen! I used to read your story when you started it. I may have gotten busy with relationships and stuff haha. anyways I redownloaded Fanfiction and lemme just say that I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS STORY AGAIN. I can't get enough of it and re-read all of this from start to finish. You are awesome!

"Skyrim spells are much more powerful and are more organized"
It's because their magic system was majorly designed by the gods, and worked on by whatever demigods added on in the years.

-
Hopefully, characterization gets better, it uh, needs some work that's for sure

Louise assuming that the MC is from another plane of existence is quite a bit out of character, not going to lie. We're talking about the same character that lashed Saito's face into a bloody 'pulp'; aware that it was, in fact, another human being. She isn't exactly the forefront of human consciousness and morality, quite a bit of a spoiled unrepentant brat to be honest. In canon she is quite lucky she didn't kill her slave, IRL he would be dead a hundred times over.

Oh boy. I am not sure what will be more downhill from here... Dove finding out who Tiffs sister is...

Or everybody finding out that there is a regular half elf (Regular as in the type of elf they are "used" to) on Albion...

Including the fact of with who she is related if I recall the family tree correctly...

Building perspective then with Henrietta and the church. This does imply quite a bit about what else you have planned as it is being set up right now. Sounds like a lot of fun to be had. Plus more perspective should help balance out Dove‘s habit to do the adventuring thing which tends to be somewhat more localised than the kingdom sized fronts.(which is not a bad thing or her sole trait, but noticable and counteracting this through other characters is a fine way to go about it)

As for the pregnancy influencing Dove? From the anecdotal evidence I know from a midwife it does sound plausible. Some women are effected that much actually. Not all, but Dove could be just one such person. She certainly has enough other weirdness going on in her life and heritage to make it impossible to know beforehand.

That said, I do want to caution against being too over the top with it. It is a conceit of fiction that it has to be more logical than real life to be believable afterall. The current level of effects are fine. But more would be stretching things.
Of course you have some leeway thanks to the nightmares you used the book for.

But now that Dove had some time to recover from those nightly terrors and way away from the busy shedule she kept at the academy I do feel like she could put one and one together to get Julio(11Julio ;). Well, maybe not quite that but her realizing that it has something to do with the location. Of course there is no telling what exactly it is(outside of her experience with artifacts) and she may still have some nightmares simpy because she got conditioned for them. Those should fade but be rather annoying.

Anway, a small hic up with my expectations during Tabitha‘s segment.
Not her speech and behaviour. That fit what we have seen of her up to now and Kirche‘s reactions were fitting.

The line where Kirche tells Tabitha how she and Louise know about Tabtiha‘s situation and reaffirms her support. That felt a little flat. The sentence too short and to the point. On the other hand Kirche had time to think on this and probably has no need to faff around. A nitpick really.

I am still unsure if Tiffania‘s segment could not have been shortened into something more condensed. I can not put my finger on it. All the elements introduced were best introduced upon their first meeting and on screen to establish the feel of their relationship and give context to Tiffania‘s current situation with the changes that occured up to now.

Wait, I think it is because of how much Tiffania feels in character. The hesitance and insecurity showing through all her interactions give the scene a slightly stuttering flow. That is why it felt like you could have edited it into something shorter. In my defense, when I thought of that I was very tired at night. I blamce missing the nuance on that.

I do remain however of the opinion that there is some overlap between the pov scene of Dove and that of Tiffania which could have been done without.

The older sister‘s attempts to prevent Louise from discovering certain facts and leaving are understandable and admirable in how they do try, but misguided.
Something I felt while reading the story. Especially how they try for what they understand as good reason and what the text made clear was compassion.
Establishing the cliffhanger primarily on Louise is a good decision. Works well in my opinion and something I do very much look forward to since I was hoping for a bit more screentime for her specifically. Familiar and Zero afterall.

I do understand your reasons for taking an extended break until you have time to suss out writing in detail again. It is alright.

And congratulations are in order for your upcoming marriage! But please don‘t get too exhausted planning. People can blow this out of proportion. In the end it is a party and wonderful opportunity to make memories commemorating an important facet of your life with people you care about. But also not more. Eh, sorry about the pseudo advise.

Funnier bit about the lack of personal knowledge in regards to pregnancy. You‘re still young and now married… Just you wait .

Well, I hope things turn out well for you and that you don‘t lose your drive through the prolonged hiatus. See you on the other end.