I love it

What a way to end the chapter! xD Me thinks Hiashi and Neji thinks this is a kind of prank!

Oh, how I wish the sexy times were more panned out. It gets steamy, but then where’s “hot” in lack of details? Sometimes I think that someone stole a paragraph from the story!

There were some sentences that may need rephrasing here. I had to reread it to realise that it was maybe rushed? I couldn’t make out the sentence but I got the rest of the pieces from the other end to know where it was going. Still, great content! Great chapter!

I don’t know why, but Kiba’s appearance is not doing justice. He doesn’t give a strong enough presence in Hinata’s view that he’s rubbed off as LESS than a “side character”. Hiashi and Neji, on the other hand, have some great importance shown, but could Hinata care less of Kiba’s opinion or wanting to prove him so (like in this chapter). I can only find out in the rest of the chapters! Will he have closure...?!

This chapter was a rollercoaster! Why I felt really bad how they treated Naruto, but, yeah, it wasn’t that harsh to be exact—you could say it was just the right amount to convey the storyline. Why I wish I read a fanfiction interpretation of Minata and Kushina now!

I liked how we were put in third person (Kakashi’s view) to witness Naruto’s adventure. It prompts the audience to give Naruto some sympathy.

Great chapter!

Now we kind of have a hitman on Naruto’s tail? But lmao what is becoming of Naruto?! Thank this chapter filled in some details on where our protagonists current situation are, because I got swooped by other dilemmas in the story! There’s the relationship progress, then there’s the beast problem progress. xD

Yikes! Im too shock of the Neji and Hiashi normal about the idea “killing” someone off! Beside that, everything else was pretty sweet and cute!

Yes, how Neji describes Naruto is like describing something from a fairy tale! That line was classic, compared to the first few characters that Hinata described Naruto to! xD The fact that it’s with a more serious person kind of made it the more hilarious!

Points for portraying Naruto’s first time is as sloppy as it would be in real life! It gives some sense of realism, unlike what some people think in novels that it’s all great and steamy! It just makes their relationship more palpable. :D

Not so much smut, but I enjoyed how they made up! So cute!

Every other character is just lol against them!

Ahh! I actually hope this doesn’t turn to the direction of “alien experimentation” theme with Naruto’s beats transformation— *gulp* Im currently enjoying the humour and romance theme much more!

Intense... Anticipation...Sexy Action! What a way to create a cliffhanger in one chapter! Haha, awesome work!

Beside that, there’s a misuse in ‘semicolon’. Often, I see this other’s writing that I just can’t help but point it for your future reference and becoming a better writer. I enjoy your content immensely!

Omgshhh That last line! Neji! I can’t breathe! I can’t stop laughing!

Also, there was a punctuation missing between the conversation of Hinata and Jiraiya when they were reading the novel aloud. The missing double-quote (“) made me think he was acting the script in the novel! Mygawd I was freaking out until I realised they were just reading!

Oh, I’ve been meaning to point out a recurring dialogue confusion. When a person is talking, wrapped around in double-quotes, do not introduce a new paragraph and wrap new double-quotes around it. I assumed it was a new speaker. There was once done with Naruto, however I see it less now as the chapters progress!

Interesting how more people are getting more involved! We’ll see how it plays out! huehue

Throw out the minor spelling errors and I got myself another lovely and funny chapter read! Love this! Great job!

Yeah! Why is she still called “Lilac”? But it also shows and symbolise they’re still client-customer relationship! If he were to start calling her by her real name... things are gonna get personal! Or is that already not? hehe xD

Im so glad Hinata is his therapy! xD

I laughed so hard when Sasuke entered the room too!

Why this turned out to be a cute fanfic!

Wait! Same class? How come? Oh I'm si excited to read more.

Amazing story I loved it didn’t expect a 138k word story to keep me hooked but it did. The chemistry between Naruto and hinata and the twist you give it

omg.. breastfeeding for baby, breastfeeding for naruto?