I think Nina having Fullbring powers would be interesting. They don't get used a whole lot so its a good change of pace.

Plus i feel like Quincies and Soul Reapers are about the societies they come from. So unless you wanna build a Soul Society or the Quincy equivalent in Amestris, Fullbring just feels easier.

Violet Evergarden and Full Metal Alchemists crossover

Honestly i reread a few times and i think you wrote the best take on Orihime and what I wished Orihime/Ichigo were like in canon.

Hmmm I thought that th3 zanpakuto arc was universally acknowledged as the best filler arc... well I guess every one is entitled to their own opinion

I liked how you blended both series. Ed/Orihime is one of my favorites. You gave me a different appreciation for Ichigo/Orihime.

I wished you kept the 03 origins for the Homunculi. I always just that one as more tragic and interesting.

no worries. best of luck.

It's been awhile since you last updated...I want to ask you, are alive and safe out there?

With the devastating Covid-19 virus devastating the world right now, I'm worried you might've been one of the many claimed by this pandemic.

Please give us all a shout out that you are fine and well.

Kind of a minor problem with this chapter. If the story/events of Liore aren't taking place until next chapter, then Ed, Al, Mustang and the rest shouldn't know what a homunculus is. They didn't learn that until their run in with Greed while they were visiting Izumi Curtis.

Hi! I like the concept you have for this story, and I appreciate how you pour your heart into the emotional aspects of the story, I can really tell that you want readers to know how the characters feel and whatnot, so the descriptive thing you have going on is nice.

However, I do have to say that this essentially feels like a Mary Sue-ish fic. Like, Orihime feels like that one perfect character in a reverse harem anime, like Tohru Honda from Fruits Basket. She's basically loved by everyone, is overpowered in the universe, and just really manages to charm the pants off everyone. You insist that she’s not really a Mary Sue, but she is. It’s basically subtle Mary Sue (although I’m not sure if I can really call it subtle). But that’s fine, really, as long as the story is written well enough. My other issue is the way she interferes and changes some parts of the canon plot, but still feels like a tag-along.

Also, some problems in the way you describe things. The grammar isn’t all that bad, but sometimes you describe things TOO much, you know? I can’t really explain it, just that I feel like the exposition seems like it’s piled on a bit too thick. Some parts, also, like the way you describe Orihime’s hair as “burnt-orange”, just stick with auburn-haired because it sounds more normal and natural; “burnt-orange” is, in lack of a better term, cringe.

I appreciate the way you write Edward’s ineptitude with romance, since he would rather jump off a cliff than outright state that he’s attracted to a girl, so kudos to you for that. I can tell that you adore his character (I also do, the strange pairing with Ed is what caught my attention). However, I have some issues with the way you portray and depict Winry. From the get-go, Winry realized her feelings for Ed, and she was resolute in this, that’s why she immediately said the right thing without even thinking about it, when Ed proposed to her; she understands him, gets his quirks on a fundamental level than most. Heck, I don’t actually ship them, I’d rather they stayed as friends with their sibling-like dynamic, and I preferred Ed to end up with a girl who could drive him wild as much as he drives Winry wild, someone a bit more dynamic than Winry.

But I acknowledge the special bond that she shares with Ed. Winry would be jealous of Orihime, and she would fight her for Ed’s affections. Not in a bitchy way because Winry’s an absolute sweetheart, but she wouldn’t let Ed be stolen away by some random girl (no matter how unintentional) when WINRY’S always been the one by his side. I don’t want to discourage you too much; don't worry, there are COUNTLESS of stories that do this mistake, mostly Ed/OC or Ed/Roy Mustang stories, so this is a common trend that I always see, and it’s so frustrating. They just handwave the amount of dedication that Winry has for Ed. Winry wouldn’t just be buddy-buddy with someone who could potentially take Ed away from her. That’s just how Winry Rockbell is. Just my two cents.

I’m guessing you’re young, in your teens, and you still have some years to develop and hone your writing skills. I can see your dedication in making this story (300k words, woah, that’s a lot). There’s another guest review here that explains the faults in this story (written by “Orihime”, ironic) better than I do, and I suggest you follow their advice. I can also tell that you have enough self-awareness to note that this isn’t a hate review, it’s just a person behind a screen trying to give a bit of constructive criticism. Goodluck!

I hope you continue this story its super well written.

To say this story is confusing is putting it mildly. It started strong but Orihime just kinda ruins the entire foundation FMAB is built upon. Maybe if her powers had some exceptions due to being thrust into a new world with a different “god” or rule maker. Since she exists outside those rules naturally she would create an exception to the truth. But at the same time, since she know resides in a world where her powers shouldn’t exist, naturally her powers should have limits. All these extra characters are really making it hard to keep a consistent character profile, and why are you making so many characters that have spiritual powers when the entire concept is rather difficult to meld into a story with such a consistent foundation like alchemy. Another reason why I think Orihime should have some kind of limit. I mean she can revive the dead, why not go and revive Ed and Al’s mom and make her new friends happy? It doesn’t make sense, and it kind of makes everything anticlimactic which throws away the sense of accomplishment that FMAB strives to demonstrate because Orihime is quite literally HAX. I know you said this is an Orihime/Edward Fic, but I really thought this was going to be a journey of emotional development for both Orihime and Edward about their canon respective partners. Edward and Winry’s romance is, if not the best, one of anime’s deepest couples. To reduce it to just being considered “tsudere” is extremely short sighted. Maybe traveling along with Orihime will make Edward realize some things about Winry, because so far Orihime is still constantly thinking about Ichigo so I’m not really sure how that romance you have planned would work out. I liked this story because Orihime herself was enough to introduce some new elements in this story, but now you have hollows attacking FMAB characters, who can’t even fight regular homunculus with being alchemists or really smart. I always thought of Orihime as a nice light of hope, to not make the things in FMAB seem so dreary and morbid. Maybe she truly could help Father and the homunculus see things in a different way and bring a whole new perspective. I feel like that would have real impact on all the characters you’re trying to show off in intersections not just some with haphazard OC characters that honestly make no sense, because in all honesty Bleach was not nearly as good or consistent as FMAB. Maybe that post world FMAB that they implied in the end is the world you can explore by bringing Orihime in, and exploring those new perspectives that the world itself is not just built on Equivalent Exchange and really demonstrate the value of a single human soul, Orihime in this case. Please, if anything I said offended you or made you feel like crying don’t take it that way. I tried my best to offer the most constructive criticism in the most direct manner. This story is “sometimes” cool and it “had” a lot of potential but I really thing to make an effective story, you need to have a beginning and end worked before so you can start filling in the middle with the good stuff like a sandwich.

Maybe Orihime’s powers can only be used once a day?
Her soul is obviously too strong to be yanked out because she does have spiritual power, which I compare to muscles. Basically her soul is stronger than a regular soul because it is trained, so it would be harder to take her powers if that’s even possible since we see in FMAB that a soul will ALWAYS seek its original body no matter what with Barry and Alphonse. Also, you got to remember Orihime’s powers got a “push” because of the hogyoku, her power alone is not enough to awaken spiritual powers in another people. I’m still trying understand why you decided to have hollows, because they are too powerful and could quite literally kill everyone if even one Menos Grande was released in Amestris and I mean everyone including Father and the Homunculus. Maybe Orihimr finds a way home through the Truth itself simply because she’s an existence not bound by the same rules as the people of FMAB, yes, her presence can introduce new knowledge about the nature of human soul and maybe the truth really is god trying to teach people to value life because it’s truly more valuable than one realizes? When I read your story I just don’t get the same impact that canon FMAB had on me, and how it taught me things about not giving up even when you fall down. You need to ask yourself, what would Orihime’s pretense teach your audience? What message are you trying you send. That framework gives you the boundaries in your story to keep your reader engaged. Hollows quite literally made me feeling hollow because their presence disrupted my connection to your story because they honestly are just too powerful to be in a group in FMAB. Maybe ONE hollow would be enough and somewhat more realistic to defeat, because this is really too much for normal humans to handle, especially since they are humans and have no spiritual powers whatsoever. Plus, it might actually help create a more impactful story. That’s just my personal wish.

I know this is still your story and I don’t dictate it’s course. But maybe, just maybe, take some little bits of information and apply it for future stories...because Hollows are too powerful cut and simple. I mean I was honestly surprised when I read those words and I was like what? But then they started to lose their significance because there are too many. That hook feeling right there from that first hollow introduction you need to maintain that feeling and try to climax the readers. That’s exposition, rising and climax in storytelling. Maybe Orijime defeats a gigantic hollow for the first time, since we never actually see her do that in the canon manga since she was always considered too “mentally weak” to truly take someone’s life.

Once again, I’m just rambling since I know it’s all ready too late to offer any advice since this story is already sort of gone off on its own since 2017. Just try to keep this in mind in any future story you write, it’ll just make it better unless you truly are trying to write some wish fulfillment fic. Then that’s another issue...

Thanks for updating. :)

Hahaha, if any real alchemist saw what they did they would probably have a minor heart attack considering that she would have to make human transmutation every time she healed a wound if that was the case.

I hope that you will read this review.

Can you make Ed and Al sing the song Brothers by Vic Mignogna and have Orihime overhear them.

This Is an amazing story.

Really seems passive aggressive to say that some one who does not ship orihime hates her, I happen to like Orihime platonic chemistry more with characters. Friendship fits better, Friends with everyone.

A very lovely’s chapter thank you.