Revan's body type seems to me to be an amazonian fukin think its HOT

I really don't agree with the biotics not showing up on Revan's precog at all. Because the problem is that the biotics aren't showing up, the problem seems to be that the Force is totally mute yet you've got Revan able to use it the way she always has. Which only makes sense if all of Revan's powers are coming from herself and not the Force as part of the universe.

Honestly, it would make more sense that the Relays are causing a type of veil over the Force that limits her precog as a deliberate ploy by the Reapers to keep Force sensitives from fighting back against them.

Bur the main issue I have with this story is Shepard in this story. You have Shepard who fought against Cerberus in ME1 on numerous missions where they were trying to kill her and her crew and now she's working with/for them for the good of the galaxy. ME2 has her working with the foundering of the Blue Suns, a crazed Biotic who ATTACKS them as soon as she's out of her cell, Grunt who ATTACKS Shepard the moment his pod is opened and that's off the top of my head. Yet Shepard is going to be child throwing a tantrum about Revan's reaction upon waking up in a strange ship and finding out she's tied down? How does this make sense?

There's a HP story where Harry freaks out and pushes Hermione away to the point she breaks off their relationship because she doesn't trust him any more. But she keeps the cold shoulder and pissy attitude for months until her mother sits down and points out that she's put their entire relationship into a catch-22: She won't forgive Harry until he proves she can trust him again but she doesn't know how nor is interested in finding any actual way for him to prove he does.

That's a teenage girl. This is a military commander who has an explanation on who this powerful stranger is and why she'd react the way she did after waking up in an unknown environment. Yet this great military commander is being deliberately obtuse and even knows it. An attitude that fundamentally goes against everything Shepard has shown themself to be like in all three games.

So yeah, that's my long explanation on how chapter 4 ruined what I felt was a solid story idea.

I'm guessing this is abandoned?

The original was better, this has too much angst in it, & too many love scenes for my tastes.

I came for the battles & the planning, mixed with the banter of camaraderie.

The fact that this masterpiece has not be updated for years causes me physical pain. Oh sweet Jeebus! Please return and finish this amazingly addictive story! Pretty please?

"If I had but one bullet and were faced by both an enemy and a traitor, I would let the traitor have it."

So I’m about to write something I don’t think you’ll like and I doubt you’ll even really listen too but as one writer to another, I think I see something you should at least think about.
I’ve been traveling on business the last two days and have decided to reread both this story and the original version.
This has caused me to come to the conclusion that the original has a far greater level of quality then this one.
Now I’m going to shove aside the fact that about 80% of this new version is the same as the old because it’s just the genders being flipped.
But it’s the 20%, the most recent, that has seen such a drop in qauiltiy. And it has a lot to do, in part with the romance and I think as well as the reasoning as to why you switched genders.

As you stated, writing from the male perspective was tough for you and not altogether comfortable.
And I think sheilding away from that was a mistake. I think writing from the male perspective forced you to think, to weigh the story heavily and really focus on what you were doing and saying.
Because I’ve noticed as you delved further into the female Revan and honestly, made Shepard the focus of your story rather then Revan, I think the amount of thought and deliberation has decreased proportionally.
The romance, at least in my opinion, feels overwhelmingly forced in this new version. It like, one chapter Shepard just developed a pressing need to fuck Revan. Oooo hot chick, can beat me up, time to get them in bed.
That’s half of what I get from the last several chapters.
And comparing that to the slow burn and well thought out relationships the previous story had, it’s a far cry in terms of quality writing.
Now, I know this won’t change your story, I’m betting it’ll make you just dig your heels in. But I think it’s an important food for thought.
Because I’ve discovered over the years I write a far better female character then I do a male, simply because I have to think about it so much. Force self out of my comfort zone, and I think you had the same thing going but for whatever reason you convinced yourself that wasn’t the case.
I still enjoy the story. I just don’t enjoy it or find it to be as good as the original version.
But it’s something I wanted to say and put out there for you to ponder.

all aboard the 'dead till it stops' train.

angst is a blight when everything knows it born from idiocy. angst only works when you only know one side of the story, when you only have half the information. when you know both sides it is just frustrating.

We really ending this shit on “a mistake”? Anyways this was a great read, hope it isn’t dead

Do you still have the original “New beginnings” story? The one with Revan being male? If so please upload it again, it was an addictingly good read!

I feel like you wrote this story for the sole reason of trolling us. I've had this story open in its own designated tab since you were still updating. At the time there were multiple reviews made saying to please avoid the angst because Revan is anything but angsty. Then you leave us here and abandon it. I understand now it was all a big joke. We've been trolled. This was your big F you to your fans. Thanks for that.

I actually haven’t read this chapter yet. I followed the old story and really liked it, I think I got to the derelict reaper section. I didn’t realize there would be changes and I was a little wary at first, but after the end of that last chapter I am fully on board. Excited for more content that differs from the original now. I actually really like F/F stories with the right characters, I was actually reading a bunch of f!shep/Miranda stories when I started this one. I also read the two tie in chapters that involve Miranda, because I was still on the Miranda kick. Anyway, I read your opening authors note and I just wanted you to know that I love the new direction for the story and I find a story is much better when an author can write the voice honestly, those other people don’t know what they’re talking about, you’re clearly invested in this and it shows. The Phantom squad from the original was amazing and I get the feeling this Revan is more similar to how you were able to write those characters so well. Anyway, long story short, great stuff, can’t wait for more.

I love this story. I really hope you update it sometime.

Well fuck...the story was goring so well you just had to add angst too it...sighs whatever still going to read it but fuck this sucks.

need more chapters