What pisses me off a lot is that it isn't far-fetched to think that humanity would always do something to screw itself over. Damn you Sagitari and may your ass be torn apart by a billion Slaaneshi chain-powered dildos.

'Their' being written as 'there' is kinda annoying. I liked everything about the chapter except that and how the dialogue for two different characters were put in the same paragraph.

good as always. thank you for the update

These ancillaries/lore background chapters should not be a in this story. they bring nothing to he story. While maybe some would like to read them, they do nothing to the story itself and therefore it would be better if they were packaged into another separate story with a note in this if you would like to know more go see the other story for more background details on the legions.

For me, all these legion description chapters do is bring up anticipation of another chapter of the story and the disappointment and this just pisses me off honestly and makes it more tempting to unfollow to avoid those feelings

The Iron Warriors are one of my favorite legions and I find Perturabo to be a very tragic figure up there with Magnus and Angron. You have certainly done him and the Legion proud today sir. Once again a great chapter that expands evermore on this wonderful AU of yours. I was wondering if we could see some more softer? for a lack of a better work moments among the primarchs, either adults or children? Please keep up the great work.
IROPN WITHOUT IRON WITHIN
STEEL AND DOOM STEEL AND DOOM.

Good we get a new legion profile and we get Vulcans Dragon friends

Would you PLEASE just use the original names? The new ones are really unfamiliar and detract from my enjoyment of the story because I keep having to go back and guess which Primarch goes with which name since you never edited Chapter 13 and added the original name next to the new one.

Don't really like how you changed the Primarchs' and Legions' names since now I don't necessarily know who's who. Plus the original names are already iconic and good.

Good

Hey pal the new chapter was awesome but...did you mention Vulkan as being ebony? I thought the Emperor removed the melanochrome mutations in all his primarchs, you wrote it yourself in the first chapters. Did he get black afterwards or something?

This is beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. The way you weave the words to craft an amazing scene left me enraptured. It's been a long time since I've read something that truly caught my attention

Well that was thoroughly enjoyable to read.

Dude WOW

You made an Ancient Mariner Primarch. And he and his legion sound badass as all get-out.
This is an excellent use of one of the two blank spots in the canon primarch ranks. If this is what you come up with for one I can't wait to see what you do for the other one!

Love what you wrote here, and especially loved the song and Tolkien-ish culture of the dwarves. TLDR: loved all of it. Yes, all of it.

nothing but so so fantastic