Fantastic story. Amazonian women are a win.

I tried. I really, really did. At first I thought it had potential. I saw the high word count and thought that nobody could continue a story that far if it was just a horrible mess with no real plot and they obviously had no idea where the story was going. But then I read this mess.
And I'll be honest with you. I rarely give bad reviews for anything other than grammar. And surprisingly, your grammar, is rather good. The rest needs a MASSIVE overhaul...

I never though it was possible to get a migraine from readng a fanfic. Holy shit what a clusterfuck of a story.

Sorry I tried to read it.

But there are just way too many grammar mistakes, formatting errors, and misspellings. I've seen does typed as dose scores of times up to chapter 13. And that's just one common word.

Incorrect use of to/too/two, there/their/they're, were/where, etc. There are many instances of these legitimately making entire paragraphs significantly harder to read. Maybe if it was rewritten or you had an editor but as is I can't even force myself to read it even though I really want to.

I believe those sayings typically need some kind of rythming.

All work and no play makes jill a dull grill might work.

Yes grill is a misspelling used by captain Bulldogs audience and in general in the dota 2 community.

Also does does not equal dose. I see it all the time and maybe it's the german in me but some of these mistakes legitimately make the story much harder to read.

Missing letter here, misspelled word there...
If you want a free editor you can email for a mockup fix at

He is willing to help with minor fixes as he has plenty of time during the Corona virus. Just makes sure others don't see the email.

I think you need an editor for punctuation and to make sure words are typed correctly. Whole is written as who several times, Your as you, and is used after commas when not needed.

You also seem to spend alot of time explaining with mink instead of telling the story. Explaining is good but some times showing is better than telling.

This was hilarious poor jaune tho.

Also what about his date with deagon ?

Neo's reaction to the stamp?

Está historia necesita un editor urgentemente.

I love this story. I adore the fact you made all the women have thicc thunder thighs. Keep up the good writing and God bless.

Hah

I read this first page so much times and still am a little confused

This is... idk the reversal roles especially the lemons r weird. Kinda like a feminists wet dream

Mission Really I thought it would have been team Monsson

Terrible role reversal it just a bunch of selfish idiocy every ones a rapist pretty much ugh

It's unreadable. You need a beta.