Very entertaining

lloo

I read this some time ago and then came back again because it's just so good! this was the perfect mix of hilarious, fluffy and tooth-rotting sweetness with just enough sprinkling of jealous!Naruto. i honestly loved every second of reading this! it was refreshing to see a petty Sasuke igniting smtg like this for fun, and I genuinely loved the portrayal of Naruto and Hinata here as well! ignore the flames, hun you're doing amazing and I can't wait to read whatever new fics you have!

ver cute! I could totally see this actually happening. thanks for the one shot. I enjoyed reading it

the first naruhina and sasusaku fic i’ve ever read. as a nonshipper, overall the humor was enjoyable! thank you for writing

The story was cute, but I can’t help but apologize for the negative reviews you have received... well just hate in general honestly. Yes they were a bit out of character but this in fan made fiction! It’s ridiculous that you receive those kinds of horrible messages. Please don’t take them seriously. I’m am convinced the same person has been spamming you review box. So please take care.

Super cute story. Loved how you wrote Naruto.

Gosh what is with the negative reviews and haters. Personally I liked this story. It was hilarious. But some people have sticks up there asses so don’t worry about them.

Im not really a sasusaku fan, im more of a naruhina/sasuhina but i really enjoy reading this. His ways to make naruto jealous by spending time with hinata and all that make me squeal like a fangirl (of sasuhina)

lol sakura with a sweat drop on her head watching her husband sasuke running away from nine tail fox naruto with hinata hissing at her husband relax i love you not sasuke

To Dastaandouche

Jealous Sasuke being out of character? That’s the reason Shippuden happened because he was jealous of Naruto and he even says that in chapter 698

I love how you claim to like his character but you keep nothing of his character in your shitty stories

You don’t write about Sasuke you write about yourself pretending to be Sasuke

all of your stories are shit and you’re a pathetic loser

otzmhnlo

Hinata is trash and kill yourself.

Daastan Go, stop talking bs and take your meds. Naruto is not gay hentai so just kill yourself, fujo.

To the writer, you are fucking trash. Kill yourself.

Sasuke—jealous? Eh? I don't know why people want to write Sasuke that way, but that's way too Out of Character for my tastes to the point that it becomes a character that's only got the canon one's name. Frankly, Sakura could be getting buggered by street dog in the Living Room and he wouldn't care one bit. That's how apathetic he is to romance and romantic relationships in general. Nothing in Naruto's 700 chapters and beyond have changed that. (I wanted to try out your Sasuke and Hinata fiction, but this bizzaro-world interpretation of Sasuke really soured me on it.)

And I've got to say this, even though it's a wee bit un-needed, but I find your premise decidedly non-canon, too (I did try one Naruto and Hinata fiction, which was serious, and this problem persisted there, as well): Naruto adores Sasuke the most. I know, I know, it's difficult for most Westerns to grasp the idea of "True Love (separated from eroticism—unthinkable, I know!)" that springs from Chinese folklores, which is spiritual, not erotic. It's treated as such by the Japanese ("Ai" form of love—"Aishiteru" being its pinnacle) and Christian texts, as well. "Pure (True, if you want to cling onto this battered cliche) Love" is always non-erotic—always. Naruto, Canon Naruto, really does love Sasuke the most, which is covered by famous Japanese saying on "rebirths": "one life time for the child; two for the wife; three for the Lord." How many did Ashura and Indra spend in Canon? Precisely my point. Even a person you serve is meant to surpass your wife. People really should stop interpreting the manga in a very Western light. This "First World" "deeply co-dependent" relationship called love is really weird over there.

That aside, I did ignore that under the "Humour" tag, provided that you didn't take all of that seriously yourself, because that would be strange as heck. I thought the story flowed nicely. Sakura comes across as fairly controlling, which is how I'd expect her to act. Sarada isn't that far behind, because, after all, she takes a lot from her mother in this regard. When Sasuke confessed that he liked Hinata for the very over-used cliche on Fan-Fiction, I thought that it'd go down the same silly route; but, thankfully, you added some extra spice to the recipe to keep it from getting too stale and same-y.

As weird and non-canon as it was, Sasuke setting up boundaries for Naruto and his involvement in his family life was probably the most humorous part of the one-shot; and, obviously, Naruto was reacting accordingly. Hinata's cluelessness (till the end, anyway) worked in advantage of the humorous situations. In fact, it heightened the humour. I wouldn't say that any of this was "rib-cracking" humour; but, as you went for the "feel-good" one, which is obnoxiously popular on Fan-Fiction for some strange reasons, I'm surprised that it was even readable—silly, yet enjoyable in a light-hearted manner.

Whilst I wouldn't say that your prose is very expressive, I do believe your dialogues are decent enough to work well with the Minimalism approach that most utterly bungle. The dialogues complemented the scenes well, and it, mostly, did feel like a common house-hold conversation to me.

All in all, I thought it was good: I enjoyed it. I'd love for you to write more Humour pieces, though with "canon" personalities in mind. Last but certainly not least, I thought your reviews were more entertaining; but what can I say? I've always enjoyed shippers' outage!

Cheers.

I liked it! :) I'm kind of indecisive on whether to read this at first because it's SS and I'm not really a fan of that pairing, but I think that you'd written them pretty well. Everyone mostly stayed true to their character and I liked your own portrayal of both pairings in this.

And wow people are taking this way too seriously. Mind you, this is fanfiction; the author should be allowed to experiment with what they want to based on their interests. It's fine if you're giving out CONSTRUCTIVE criticism, but a lot of people were being really rude and toxic and they're forgetting the most sensible thing that they could've done: leave if they don't like it. There's no need to be so hateful and insulting just because other people don't agree with your opinions.