Cool beginnings

Kinda wanna see how this plays out. Definitely enjoying it though.

The not so subtle starship troopers references are pretty funny

paragraph 9 last sentence minor typo you wrote fast when it should be faster. great story so far though

Stories with a Charming Jaune are great

Sodafied, lad, nobody needed to know the entire situation. If the author doesn't like the criticism you gave, why should it matter to you? Life's gonna move on while you dwell on the past.

Is it going to be a harem stori?

Jaune Arc
Ciel Soleil
Penny P
Marrow Amin
Team MACP (Marzipan)

Best I can think of with Marrow is Team JMPC (Jam-Packed)
Or maybe Team PMJC (Plum Juice), two words but this is fanfic anyway

Awesome chapter

Due to my head being plagued with thoughts of this, I must criticize the author of this fanfiction.
Twisted, by nature, is insecure.

Let me explain. Twisted, by nature, suffers from severe insecurity of criticism. He hates criticism regarding him or his work that isn't positive in nature.

Regarding this, I criticized him long ago back when his discord server had, at best, 30 members and he hid behind his first rule on discord.
"Do not insult staff."

Not only that but since he has such an insecurity, he calls those who actually criticize him a troll. It is an unbelievable occurrence since he has such good writing skills. Until you realize that, in fact, it is because he has such good writing skills that he is insecure.

He has quite the vocabulary, I must admit, but he constantly flaunted it. I have no idea if he still does but Twisted, by nature, is a foolish person.

As such, I am writing a review to criticize the author behind this story. Not to dissuade people from reading his work but rather to tell them of what he is. Granted, this will have the side effect of dissuading people, but that is merely part of life. Every action has a consequence.

Twisted banning me from his server, throwing a tantrum like a child and having no discussion to add to me but, "oh yeah, you're that troll" is merely an act I can see through.

I have no needs to meddle with children, but I must criticize such a manchild.

Twisted is merely a manchild that has an intense vocabulary and an extreme insecurity towards criticism that pokes flaws in his being.

He also has an extreme problem with people who also say RWBY is not as good of a show he thinks it is.
Checking his comments to the criticism in his youtube videos shows that he has somewhat mellowed out.

Though, I believe his insecurity boils down to criticism to his writing.

Oh, he also calls Vexed Viewer a liar. Vexed Viewer's videos, of which both covered by Twisted, I have seen. And neither of them were particularly wrong and had plenty of good reasons.

Vexed never lied nor omitted truths.

Granted this, I have read his twitter feed starting now to back March 12.

He has some certainly... Well, strong opinions about people who do not share his opinion on the RWBY fandom.
I am hypocritical here, but Vexed Viewer (a critic, despite what Twisted might say) is rather disliked by Twisted.
For making completely good criticism videos.

"Pyrrha died thinking she killed someone. If only Pyrrha knew she'd be back perfectly fine 4 volumes later." - Vexed Viewer
"Everyone, take pictures, so that the Fandom knows not to listen to a damn thing this guy has to say. He's a hatedom member, not a critic." - Twisted
"Imagine seeing Penny let the mask down even once and still saying that she's 'perfectly fine'.

Also, the reason why is because he's a Hatedom troll, obviously." - Twisted

This is from Twitter during March 31st.

He will say that you are a "hatedom" member for not liking RWBY and criticizing it.
It is absurd, to say the least. Why should any one thing be exempt from criticism? Such stupidity is blatantly stupid.

"I love the Hatedom sometimes. Like the trolls will scream until they are blue in the face that they aren't hatedom members, that they aren't trolls..." - Twisted.
Once more, his twitter proves a goldmine!

This statement alone provides enough evidence that he doesn't listen to "hatedom" (critics of RWBY's show that do not like it) and that is utter garbage. Not only does he not discuss it, but he completely flips his shit when he has to continue it.

He also blames Trump for having the pandemic be worse than it is by forcing people to work.
Which, by the way, makes little sense. Without the local fast foods, I'd be hungry as hell. Walmart is running out of food due to hoarders and while I'm not at the stage where I'd need to go to McDonalds and order a Happy Meal, I must say that if anything, Trump is NOT making the coronavirus worse as I can't see a single reason how except him allowing essential, ESSENTIAL, jobs to exist.

Without these essential jobs, people would be smashing windows at your local walmart trying to rob it. Thankfully people can get money, keep the economy afloat (VERY IMPORTANT, BY THE WAY), and also allow people to get food.

Simply put, his entire tweet about that stuff is nonsensical.

We do NOT want an economic crisis or a depression as both are much worse than the coronavirus.
Don't believe me? How about this, do you want people to rob your shit or do you want society to function while still under threat via disease? Yeah. I thought so.

"Hazbin hotel. It's a shitty YT show made by unapologetically awful people pushing awful ideas and awful stereotypes." - Twisted
... I can't even.
I don't like HH, but Twisted completely missed the point of Hazin Hotel. It is NOT meant to be your fucking role model. It is literally in hell.

He has no other reasons other than to think all shows should push some sort of message. (Spoiler alert: They don't. You can just watch one and relax. Seriously, take a break. I did.)

Oh, and this is still March, by the way. Very Recent!
All of this was less than 35 days ago!

"Works fine for me. I enjoy a back and forth, I just wish people wouldn't get pissed and block over it. Truce" - Twisted
Ironically, this was one of the exact reasons I was removed from his discord a year ago.
MMmmmm, I love irony in the morning.

"No, it's making the corporatists face the consequences of their actions. You don't get to refuse to drive someone somewhere and then blame THEM for not being able to get there." - Twisted
The funny thing is that... This is probably what drove him earlier in this with the "Oh, Trump is bad, blah blah blah"

It makes sense to me, at least. He's blaming Trump when the corporations are doing something about the pandemic (Oh, and then also says the "corporations are doing a good job" in another tweet I skipped as I deemed it of little importance. Basically, the corporations are not doing this out of "the good of their heart" They are CORPORATIONS. It is naive to think they're doing it to be nice. They're doing it to stay in business)

Conclusion:
Twisted used to be a very insecure individual when it came to the fandom, criticism of RWBY, or criticism of himself. Now he is, while still an insecure individual, not as insecure as before as he is seemingly far more accomodating (online at least) yet he still has a long way to go.

He acts like a manchild when it comes to things concerning the fandom and has nothing to truly say about critics other than posting rather stupid and comical posts that are useless.

End of story. I hope Twisted actually grows as a person instead of stagnating and being such an idiotic fool.

I will post this on every story of his for maximum effectiveness.

Pretty nice chapter and introspection, curious to see more about Jaune's training and bond with James. Good work.

Well this sounds like it’s going to be a unique adventure. I was honestly expecting Weiss to walk in not Penny. This will definitely be interesting to see.

That was touching. A bit more wholesome than their canon meeting too.

Nice story, can't wait to see how you develop it but i do wishcfor arkos since its most natural chemistry devlopment especially if Pryyha realise he genuinely just thought she wad a movie start or actresses or something hahaha and thought her burden was being popular and proper to public image it will be funny... Can see his assignment is being undercover as a beacon student and pryhha protection detail due to diplomatic tie as his cover to scouting out a double undercover mission to say a first layer of people discover he is atlas is attach him to pryhha and a asecond to look into white fang.. He also be ordered to downplay his abilities... It will be nice if have a lot JNPR action and development as well cause I love Ren and Nora ans what they do upon interaction but i do hope it wont rwby adventure plus jaune tag along with absolutely ni changes to the story... Its also nice yiu give him mellee and far range capabilities... Never understood why people pick one od the other when they have aerial and uncountable swarm of grim... Be good if jaune have some crazy sidearm and small stab weapon too... A kyber knife and a double dessert eagle which can combine to a short blade or bommerang Hahaha just for laugh by some of the other agents