Very sexy and hot

Ah! Ah! I'm getting horny now ah!

This story is sexual

esgenia

rhat was fucking awesome

Please consider moving to T-level rating.

The phrasing is pretty awkward, and there are some spelling and grammatical errors, but not to the extent that I couldn't push past it and enjoy the story. A pretty good lemon overall. The only problem within the actual lemon itself-as in with the actual sex-is that she would've been in pain when he first entered her, since she said it was her first time. And you referred to his penis as his "manhood," which always makes me shudder-but only once, that I noticed, and there are much, much worse mistakes to be made when writing, especially when writing a lemon. Again, pretty good overall-and I do realize that this was written several years ago, so I'm sure your writing has gotten even better _

Good story

i think you did a good job ps i wish my gf would do this with me

yep, i fucked her ass so good, it hurt.

If Zoe was wearing a blu bra then couldn't she just wear an underwear instead of panties maybe you should learn to spell it's not he's it's his and instead of lovers put in there that they are now girlfriend and boyfriend now and forever and make Zoe take off all of her clothes including her bra and underwear if Zoe and max love each other then can't they go under the covers and keep kissing. But your story was impressive I make sure you do another one

If Zoe was wearing a blu bra then couldn't she just wear an underwear instead of panties maybe you should learn to spell it's not he's it's his and instead of lovers put in there that they are now girlfriend and boyfriend now and forever and make Zoe take off all of her clothes including her bra and underwear if Zoe and max love each other then can't they go under the covers and keep kissing. But your story was impressive I make sure you do another one

What the fuck

I love your story it was great. You are a great author. Keep up the great work.

wow I loved it.