wholeheartedly I hope of even after all this time you haven't given up on this story because I want to read more

I’m so glad I decided to reread this. And I’m even more glad that you’ve moved over to AO3 for the rewrite, I never would have seen it otherwise

I have one word for this ff and that is shit. Viper the immortal is not even strong enough to save his own ass. How fucking useless this ff is

Loving it.

I don't know if you are still active, it's been 4 years since you updated, but if you are please, please, PLEASE do this for me: change the way Viper answers why he used the window to "doors are for people with no imagination." It is a quote by a character called Skulduggery Pleasant, and he is actually quite similar to Viper.

'Viper' should snap, and let all his history out at once.

'supine position' sounds like something fancy an elf would use for dirty pillow talk, frankly.

So you would never do that...

10 members-How could he say 11 maths Elrond

I hope you feel better skye.

This story appears to have been abandoned, but I love what has been written so I'm adding it to my faves anyway. Depression is an awful thing to suffer from, but you look after yourself and keep on fighting.

"Honestly, couldn't he get a day of rest?"

Seriously? He's just spent paragraphs bitching about how long and boring his life is, and then spews out this?

Strider is WILDLY out of character here, huffing and sneering and crying out and glaring and sniffing in peoples' general direction like some soap opera diva. What the hell is this?

Also, work on your verb tenses. Switching back and forth at random from past tense to present tense is just bad. Especially in the SAME SENTENCE, as in: "The rest of the sleeping hobbits, awakened by the Riders' cries—which still echoes through the night..." Pick one and stick with it. That's just basic grammar. Same with run-on sentences like this: "They traveled for a ways, one day passed, then another, Sam tended to the pony carrying their belongings—when Viper had shook his head and told them he carried nothing but the clothes on his back, even Strider looked wide-eyes—and Pippin and Merry kept their spirits high." That's at least five sentences glommed into one with bad punctuation and incorrect word usage ("had shook" isn't correct, nor is "looked wide-eyes"). If you can't handle basic grammar, use an automated checker, because this reads like it was written by a child.

Worse yet, this has NOTHING to do with Harry Potter. It's not even a Harry-in-name-only since he doesn't even use the name. It's just some random immortal OC with lots of power. You can say it's a Potterverse crossover, but a Harry who's thousands of years old and doesn't even use that name bears so little resemblance to Harry Potter that it makes no difference if you call him Harry Dresden, Merlin, or Wonder Woman.

And finally, your OC doesn't actually DO anything! This is just canon movieverse LotR with "Viper" taking some of Strider's lines. He doesn't materially change a single thing. So what's the point?

In a nutshell, this chapter is badly written, deceptively advertised as an HP cross, and essentially just an OC video-camera showing canon plot without any changes. It's a pointless waste of time and I won't be continuing further. It's possible it gets better in future chapters, but if that's the case you might want to consider rewriting this chapter. With a first chapter this bad, I see no reason to continue spending time on this story.

That's a really good story, I want to see Viper's adventures in the future, no matter when. But first take care of yourself

I love your story! It’s really well written and totally sucked me in! I hope you will continue.

This is so bad. Harry isn’t actually Harry Potter. You just used the name to get readers and made a useless an bipolar main character that has no effect on the story. He does literally nothing to change anything and goes from being smart to an angsty teen out of nowhere.