Disclaimer: I do not own Castle
AN: Thank you CaskettFreak101 for editing this for me! you're amazing! 3

Chapter 1

"We need to talk"
"Yeah, we do..."
"Can I come over?"
"Yeah. Yeah. I'll be waiting"

Kate Beckett drove on over to the loft. She had tried to stop her mind from rehearsing what she had planned on telling him today- she just didn't want to think. But now, as she stood at his door, she couldn't find the strength to move- she couldn't find it in her to make a move. She had made her decision and she knew she'd be leaving in a little while.

She raised her hand and knocked. Castle didn't take long to open his front door.

The Rick Castle she saw before her was not the one she had come to know and love. Gone was the love and admiration she was used to, his eyes only held a look of pure hurt and anger. His features were cold. He stepped aside to let her enter and then closed the door behind them. She took a few steps in and then turned to face him.

"What did you want to talk about?" he asked, cutting right to the chase.

"Castle, I'm sorry. I- I shouldn't have kept secrets"

"You're damn right, you shouldn't have kept secrets. We've been through this before, Kate."

Kate knew all too well what he was talking about.

"Castle..."

"No Kate. I've waited four years for you to finally let me in and just when I think we're doing great, you show me that I still hold no place in your life. "

"Castle, that's not…"

"Moving to another city is huge. And when you have a partner, when you're in a relationship, my opinion is to be taken into consideration too! You didn't even think of mentioning it to me. And that hurt Kate! I really thought we were moving forward together, but, clearly, I was wrong."

"Castle, I know I should have told you, but it wasn't a sure thing at the time. It was just an interview. Please you have to understand, I didn't even know if I would get the job then... "

Castle turned away from her and walked into his study Running his hand through his hair in frustration, he sighed. Kate followed him and just waited, watching him stare blankly away from her. She took another step towards him.

"Castle, I came here to apologize and I- "

"Well you've done that, now haven't you?"

"Rick, let me finish. I got a call from them today. "

Castle turned to face her then. She could tell from his expression that he was curious, but she already knew by his sulking body that he had already given up, like he already knew what was coming.

"I, uh, I got the job. It's my decision now."

Castle remained still. She took another step, closer, trying to lessen the distance between them. She cleared her throat.

"I've decided Castle. I'm taking the job"

Castle chuckled. It was unexpected. And his reaction scared her. He picked up the bottle of scotch that was on his desk and poured himself a glass...

"Well then I'll just have to move to D.C. with you."

Kate took a deep breath.. Now was the hardest part. Her heart clenched tightly.

"No, you're not moving with me Castle. "

Castle had just taken a sip of his scotch. Suddenly, the burn he felt in his throat as he swallowed, felt like the exact opposite of soothing.

He turned to look at her again. She had stepped closer and her arms were folded across her chest, making sure her message was loud and clear. She wasn't going to back down on this one.

"I'm sorry, what did you just say?"

"I said, you're not coming to D.C. with me"

"There! There it is again! You make these decisions by yourself as if I don't even exist"

Castle was losing all control over his anger. He stepped forward and continued

"How do you suppose we do this Kate? If you're in D.C., and I'm in New York. What's your plan? Do you even have a plan?" he challenged.

"Castle, I think we need to take a break."

Kate's heart was tied in a painful knot. Castle's face showed his every emotion. Seeing the amount of pain she was putting him through was killing her. But she had decided. It was better this way.

"What?"

"We should stay away for a while, just for a while, so that…"

He didn't let her finish.

"Kate, are you dumping me? Cause it sure as hell sounds like it."

"We're not breaking up Castle, I just need a break. I think we should take a break, just until… "

"And what in the hell is that supposed to mean, huh?"

Castle couldn't hold it in anymore. He turned around, picked the bottle of scotch and threw it at the wall in frustration.

"CASTLE!" Kate gasped. This was a side to Rick Castle that she had never seen before, and it scared her.

"Four years! Do you even know what it's like to wait four years for the woman you love? Then you have her for just one beautiful year and suddenly she needs a break? She can't take you anymore? Do you know what that's like, Kate? Do you?"

His voice was loud, booming in her ears, dripping with hurt and angst. Tears brimmed at her eyes, threatening to spill over.

"Rick... I...That's not…"

"No. Just leave Kate. You don't want to see me again, so just leave. I'm done." he said, firmly.

"Castle, please just listen to me. I still love you, I do. I just... This job is going to be tough, hectic and I, I'll need to adjust well to it. I'll need to settle and I don't want you to feel obligated to..."

"So what you're saying is that, I being there would stop you from doing your job?"

He didn't let her say a thing. "Yeah, you know what, you're right. Go. Go to D.C. Start your new life. Just leave me here. Wouldn't want to be a burden on Detective Kate Beckett, now would I? Or is it Agent now?"

"Castle, I'm not breaking up with you."

"You might as well. Because that's what it feels like and that's what's eventually going to happen. "

"Castle…" she pleaded, tears streaming down her face.

"I can't do this right now, Kate. Please... I need to be alone, and you need to leave."

Kate's tears were rolling freely down her cheeks, there was no stopping them now. She had known that this would hurt, but she didn't expect the heartache to be so severe, for it to nearly kill her.

"Don't bother calling me either. I can't do this anymore. Just go where you have to go – you always do anyway. Just like you did that day you had the interview."

And with that, Castle walked into his bedroom and slammed the door. All Kate could do was stare blankly after him. The storm that was building inside her could not be contained, the despair she felt wouldn't go away. She should have known it would end this way- she had practically asked for it by shutting him out.

She deserved this for not treating him right, she knew that. She left the loft with her decision made. But her life itself had just been destroyed. Rick Castle, the love of her life, hated her…