Songfic – Arms of Madness

This piece was inspired by watch?v=ODlo_yrBonk

A short songfic (I didn't use all the lines though) dealing with 03x01 and 03x02.

Thanks for reading and I love reviews more than John loves his jumpers!

Like a child in a dream, I was far away

I was wandering the wind

Three years Sherlock was not only a few miles away from home – and by home he didn't mean 221b Baker Street but rather his best friend John Watson.

His life was now more of an adventure, a constant hide and seek with several of the most dangerous man in the world. And yet it was all so boring and painfully pointless. Sherlock was separated from his home by several countries and at least one ocean – and he cursed Moriarty on a daily basis for what he did to him.

It wasn't about his reputation, his home or his work. It was simply about John. His doctor, his blogger, his pal, his flatmate, his one and only friend.

When he was close to giving up, to throwing in the towel, to turning his 'magic trick' into reality, he heard the words he waited for so long.

"Time to be Sherlock Holmes again."

When you came like a storm and you gave me rain

for the well in my mind

The blows to his nose were heavy and Sherlock didn't see them coming at all. Of course he had hurt John, he knew he did, but he'd never imagined it was this bad.

Rain was pouring down when John hailed a cab and Sherlock was left for a few minutes with someone new and surprisingly nice: Mary. She was beautiful but not too aware of it, a rather simple person, open-minded and caring. 'The perfect fit for John', Sherlock thought, with only a slight pain in his chest. His coat was wrapped tightly around him when he heard a soft voice next to him. "It will be okay, he just needs... time. He thought you were dead for years after all."

When she left, all Sherlock had were his thoughts. A lot of thoughts. Maybe it would be okay. Maybe John wouldn't change too much, even when he married. Maybe he would get a bit of his blogger back.

You put colours in my eyes

and music in my ears

Things went better than expected – as long as Sherlock didn't think too hard about the time that would come after the wedding. He stood in his living room, playing his violin, composing. It was the only gift he could think of after Lestrade ('What was it again? George? Gordon?') wasn't a big help. Actually he was no help at all.

The song would be the real beginning of their marriage, from that dance on it would be John and Mary and not Sherlock and John.

Sherlock put all his feelings into this piece of music and in the end it turned out a bit more sad than he had intended.

chase a love, turn some fear into an open heart

gotta go to let go

Sherlock was baffled when people stared at him after his speech. Obviously he had done something terribly wrong. Weren't people supposed to be happy now? All he wanted to do was express his thoughts and feeling and now he probably was the most-hated person in the room. The person who ruined the wedding. After he all he hadn't been able to...-

A hug pulled him out of his thoughts. John was hugging him. That was indeed a but unexpected but he savoured the seconds of physical contact before it broke apart.

After solving the case of the day and revealing the big news to John and Mary, Sherlock knew it was time to leave. He thought of Mrs. Hudson's words but he knew he had to leave early. There was no place for him here. This was about a couple, soon to be a real family. It's mother, father and child. Not husband, wife and Sherlock.

One last glance back and he was gone.

So it comes to no surprise, when I find myself

praying that I got to see you again

and the water in your eyes was only the rain

Back in 221b, Sherlock felt incredibly lonely. He was shaking, tears rolling down his cheeks, hands clutching to the arms of his leather chair. Almost like on top of St. Bart's a few years ago. But this time there was no magic trick. There was no turning back, no big mystery, no 'I'm not dead!'. In a strange way, he was dead now.

I'm hoping you might

come around now and then

to hold me at night

and warm me like a friend

At three in the morning, Sherlock was still wide awake. He tried to sleep and when it hadn't worked, he turned to some of the rather boring but easy to be solved cases. Everything was fine as long as it distracted his mind.

A sharp knock on the door of his living room made him tense up. He knew this knocking pattern and only a few people knew which step to avoid on the staircase to come up silently.

"John, you know you don't have to knock...", Sherlock said softly before wrapping his dark blue robe around him and answering the door.

Without a word, John stormed into the room as soon as the door was opened and pulled Sherlock into a tight hug.

cause without you it feels like I'm lying

feels like I'm lying in the arms of madness

"I never had the chance to really thank you for your words, Sherlock. You're the most amazing man I've ever encountered and as much as I love Mary, nothing, and I mean nothing will ever come between us. I need you as much as you need me and without you I would be lost in this world. I've lost you one time and I won't let that happen again. You're my best friend and that will never change. Do you understand?"

A hoarse voice escaped of the long and thin body of Sherlock. "Yes. Yes I do." He wrapped his arms around his smaller friend, knowing this really would be okay.

Mary made her way into the room and joined the hug. "I can't wait till people talk about the couple that ran off early from their own wedding just to hug a friend. I love you, boys. And I hope you know I won't be in the way of your adventures. The world would go down without you." she said and kissed both men on the cheek.

They were some kind of family after all. A weird and fucked up family, yes. But a family. And it was good this way.