Title: Listless Afternoons

Rating: T

Summary: Aang is confused, and Toph is afraid, so the only logical place for them to go in order to avoid personal problems is deep in the Fire Nation where days are long and hot and cares are too high to reach for. Neither expected to find exactly what they were running away from.

A/N: I have a little blurb on my profile as to why I wasn't updating and not answering emails. Basically, I took a LOA from school for some personal issues. I'm fine, but I seriously needed a few months to get my stuff together. I've updated all of my stories and even resurrected one that I had no intention of continuing, so if you're interested definitely check that out.

In the meantime, I found a fanfiction circle at my university! Which I didn't expect, but hey, I'm not complaining. After hearing that I'm shit about updating, others dared me to write a 30,000-word story and post it. So….I did. Hence this beast. It'll be uploaded in parts, so hang tight and enjoy!

Part I

Aang wasn't expecting much out of his brief "vacation."

Brief was his hope, anyhow. If all things went well and if his heart was the rigid and durable organ that he hoped it was, the visit would be brief. Then, all he would need was some reflective solitude and some time to indulge himself, and he would be back to sorts and willing to start traveling again and fulfilling his duties properly.

"Vacation" was the official name he threw at everyone who knew him for the sake of appearances as well as for trying to make the "solitude" portion of his plan as successful as possible. In reality, he supposed it was more of hibernation. Aang quickly discovered that being so wrapped up in the affairs of the entire world often left his own troubles exposed since he often neglected himself in the process. Perhaps a stretch of rest would give him the faculties necessary to tend to himself for a while.

Zuko had kindly solidified the decision for him. The man—who had lately become just as disturbingly perceptive as his Uncle—immediately picked up on the "spiritual exhaustion" as he was so keen to dub it.

"You do realize that preaching to the Avatar about spiritual clarity is practically sacrilegious, right?" Aang responded to the Fire Lord smartly over dinner one night at the Fire Palace.

Zuko did nothing but smirk and completely disregard the jab. "I was your master for a short time, and I have a right to call you out on your garbage. Plus you only get snarky when something is wrong, so I think I'm right on the money."

Aang opened his arms as if he were offering up to Zuko everything, showing that he had nothing to hide. "There's nothing wrong," he lied, uncomfortable with having someone so attuned to his problems.

The Fire Lord cleared his throat and drank from his goblet. "Don't know if you realized this, but you're a horrid liar and an expert at making your misery obvious."

The monk frowned and pushed his food around on his plate like a child. "I thought I was spiritually exhausted. Now I'm miserable. Which is it?"

"One or both," Zuko responded cryptically. "I can't tell. But you working yourself to the bone won't help matters. Don't know what happened to you, but you need to fix yourself. You've been in a rut the entire visit here."

A rut. Interesting. Apparently for a pacifist like Aang to be in a sarcastic and tetchy mood was reason for a whole intervention. Why was he the only one not allowed to have mood swings and emotional fits? "You're not going to explain to me what kind of rut it is?" Aang muttered into his goblet.

Zuko grinned with his teeth and smiled charmingly at Aang. "Well that would defeat the purpose of your mandatory introspection, now wouldn't it?"

Mandatory as deemed by the Fire Lord himself. Since Aang was on Fire Nation soil and had no legal jurisdiction over the Fire Lord, Zuko was just short of pulling out a scroll of Fire Nation laws just to prove to Aang that yes he could force him to take a leave of absence before their scheduled meetings and consultations took place. Aang learned to never argue with Zuko. If there was one thing about him that never changed since the first time they laid eyes on each other, it was that Zuko was persistent to the point of it being an illness. Plus, as much as Aang tried not to show it, he and Zuko were pretty much on the same page.

It took Aang packing his bag and setting off without any of his usual sources of comfort and familiarity to make him realize just how absorbed he was in his job and how much he had neglected spending time with himself. If being away from signing papers and ending disputes filled him with such anxiety and made him feel so disconnected from everything around him, maybe he had been pushing himself too hard. But why had that started? He would have to figure that out.

His likelihood of recognition was lowest in the Fire Nation since many of the places he visited in the Fire Nation had been in disguise. While everyone knew of the Avatar, he was confident that not many small cities in the Fire Nation would be able to pick him out by face. Fire Fountain City—or North Chung-Ling as it was now referred to since that awful Ozai statue had been knocked down—was the first city that came to mind. It was a middle class industrial city that seemed inconspicuous enough for his purposes.

Clad in a black cloak and a cap that hid his arrow, Aang walked into the first hotel he happened to run into. Thinking that leaving Appa in the Fire Palace stables was a better idea so that he wouldn't be so conspicuous, Aang took a variety of trains and long walks to get to the city.

"Hello, sir. How can I help you?" the female receptionist greeted when he finally entered the hotel.

Aang cleared his throat and fiddled with his long sleeves. "Yes, I'd like to reserve a single room, please," he asked.

"Name?"

"Kuzon," Aang replied automatically, falling back to lean on his old alias. "Just Kuzon."

The receptionist nodded and looked behind her at a rack lined with keys. "Hm, for how long, hon?"

The monk faltered for a moment and looked down at the cracks in the wood. He hadn't really intended on putting a timeframe on this little trip of his, and he would hate to have to end it early before he was ready. "Um…well."

When the woman didn't get an immediate reply, she turned away from the board and leaned her elbows on the counter in between the two of them. "Not here for any particular reason, are you?"

Aang looked up, shocked at the woman's intuitiveness, but then realized that she probably dealt with stragglers like him all the time. He could do nothing but nod and shrug his shoulders. The woman smirked at him and turned back to retrieve an old brass key from the top.

"How about this?" the receptionist compromised. "I'll write down that you checked in today. You pay a two silver piece down payment, tell me when you're ready to leave, and you'll pay then. We don't get much business around here, so I don't mind renting out a room for a bit," she smiled at him warmly. "That sound okay?"

Aang couldn't help but grin back and nod his head in relief, already starting to dig into his pockets for the coins he needed. "Yes, that would be lovely. Thank you very much."

"Nah, no need to be so formal," the woman waved off as she turned to press the key on the countertop. "Enjoy your stay. You're in 304 on the third floor. Oh, and be careful going out at night. This city can get a little seedy after sundown."

"Oh, of course," Aang promised. He was sure he could probably scrap his way out of an altercation if he needed to, but he appreciated the warning. He doubted very much he would be wandering around the city at night much anyway.

After leaving the money on the counter, Aang leaned down to collect his two bags before the woman above him tapped on the counter to get his attention. He looked up and saw the woman gesturing to one of the doors behind Aang in the lobby.

"Listen, uh…technically I'm not supposed to do this, but you look like you need it. If you jiggle the handle to the left and push down when you pull it, it'll pop right open. Leads up the roof if you ever need a place to clear your head." She winked at him, and disappeared into the room behind the counter.

Aang stood crouched on the floor next to his bags and turned towards the door. Honestly, flying around the city on his glider would have been a better opportunity to clear his head and probably would work better. Flying on Appa even more so. But he swore to leave all the bending and so-called "Avatar Stuff" back at the Fire Nation when he promised Zuko he'd come back and deal with business once he was clear headed enough to handle all of his responsibilities again. Standing four stories high on top of a building didn't quite measure up, but he supposed if he was offered some sanctuary he should probably take the opportunity and see if it helped him any. Any sort of fresh air at this point might click something into place for him.

The hotel wasn't very large from what he could see. There were only four floors and eight rooms to a floor, and the rooms themselves were nothing special. Aang didn't mind the quaint accommodations seeing as how he had dealt with much less when he was traveling during the war. There were no frills: just a bed, a window, a closet, and a desk. Aang opened the drawer to the desk and saw an old candle bra with about five or so fresh candles. He'd probably have to go out and buy more. Maybe he could pick up a few books or something to keep himself occupied on the days he didn't feel like leaving.

"That'll probably be often," he muttered to himself sadly. He wasn't sure he'd be able to push himself to do more than just take a short walk around the city or maybe go out for a quick bite to eat. No plays, festivals, or carnivals for him. It'd probably bring up too much baggage for him to handle.

Aang spent the rest of the afternoon unpacking the few essentials that he had brought with him. He only managed to fill up a quarter of the closet and dropped his bags haphazardly on top of the desk. He lay down on the bed—not very comfortable but he supposed he could deal with it—with his hands behind his head and stared up at the ceiling for about a good hour before he began to feel restless. He tried closing his eyes for a bit and doing some light meditation, but the stuffy room and the itchy sheets and the hard bed proved to be too much of a distraction for him to concentrate properly. Besides, he knew that he had some serious thinking to do first and meditation wasn't going to help him to forget that.

He switched positions on the old bed a few times before he sighed and swung his feet over the edge. He must have been brooding for a while, because the window was already painted black and the room was pretty much pitch dark. Sleep wasn't coming to him, and right now, that tip the receptionist gave him sounded lovely.

OOO

Of course, whenever Aang strayed from his normal tract, he found that strange things started happening.

Obviously when one wakes up on the back of a legendary lion turtle, one can't expect for things to continue on like a regular Sunday morning. By the same token, Aang couldn't expect that trying to abscond himself in every humanly way possible was going to yield results that were anything short of abnormal and, to be frank, impossible in any other context.

Somehow, he knew the brunette sitting on the edge of the roof later on that night was someone that he knew. Aang was always good at picking up airs of familiarity from others. But what shook him was not that he was sure he knew this person, but rather that he knew this person was probably up here for much the same reason that he was if the hunched shoulders and the lost faraway look in her eyes as she stared out at the dark city below her were any indication. If there were a few things that Aang knew well, they were grief, loss, and confusion. He'd had to live with at least one of them during most of his life, and by now he was an expert at picking them out. All three were written all over her.

Aang kept his cap on and quietly approached the edge of the building, making sure that he didn't startle the girl and make her fall. Though, if his hunch was right and they usually were, he was positive that he didn't need to worry about startling this particular girl.

He was standing several feet away from her and staring out at the skyline when he spoke. "Did the front desk clue you in on this place, too?"

Aang wasn't looking straight at her, but out of the corner of his eye, he saw her cock her head towards him, but not completely turn his way. For a while, there was complete silence and Aang was sure that he probably intruded upon something personal and shouldn't have said anything. He probably wouldn't have appreciated it himself had it happened to him. But after a few minutes, she nodded. "Yeah. Apparently taking in woebegone teenagers is this place's specialty."

The monk tilted his head and smirked at the skyline. "You'll admit to that?"

The girl shrugged. "Well. Who am I to question what I can't see?"

Aang's eyes darted to the left quickly and didn't leave the girl this time. "So you believe it?"

"Do you?"

He laughed humorlessly. "I'm often told that I'm horrible at clueing in on my own torment."

"Well, I'll second that," she replied with a familiar snarky smirk.

"Would it be rude of me to second the blind comment while we're at it?"

That seemed to pull a genuine laugh out of her, despite how horribly short lived it turned out to be. She propped one foot up on the ledge and leaned her elbow on her knee. Her sea-foam green eyes stared sightlessly at the skyline once more, but her posture seemed to have relaxed just slightly. "I'll let you have it just once 'cause you're still my lily-livered student."

Aang mocked a look of hurt. "Lily-livered? After all we've been through? I'm crushed, Sifu."

She did nothing but shrug in that noncommittal way she did whenever she told a mean joke but didn't really care whom it annoyed or embarrassed. If Aang was counting correctly, he hadn't seen Toph for about a year. This was before Toph decided to stay permanently at her parent's home until further notice and before Aang spent eight months dealing with the Earth King at Ba Sing Se and doing damage control.

The last time they saw each other was at Zuko and Mai's wedding in the Fire Nation amidst about a week's worth of partying and celebrating. Nearly every night the two friends shared many dances, hung out on the balcony with a few drinks, and even stood on a roof much like this one shooting little pebbles down at the drunkards on the ground and laughing at their confusion. Life was simpler back then. Aang was relaxed and wonderfully happy with Katara, Sokka and Suki were engaged, Zuko was married, and Toph and her parents had finally patched things up with each other and built up a pretty understanding and stable relationship. Plus, last he heard, she was running around with a dapper Earth Kingdom noble that her mother had introduced her to and was practically ecstatic with the arrangement.

How things had changed.

Toph stared right over Aang's shoulder and patted the ground next to her. He smiled gently and carefully settled himself right on the edge. Figuring that the disguise was no longer necessary, Aang removed his cap and shrugged off the long sleeve shirt he was wearing, leaving himself in a cooler, sleeveless tunic he had on underneath.

The noble lifted one brow at the action, a skill that Aang was never able to do himself but always found very endearing. "Going shirtless on a late night stroll?"

"No," Aang scowled. "Have to cover up the arrows, but it gets hot even during the Fall. I've got something on underneath, don't worry."

"You were doing just fine when you were twelve," Toph commented offhandedly.

"Are you kidding?" Aang asked incredulously. "I was always sweating bullets in those clothes." Toph would know that pretty well. She was always the one who would tease him about the fact that Aang had to wash his clothes almost daily since he sweated through the long sleeves on a regular basis.

She smirked at the memory and nudged her elbow with his, the most tame and non-violent form of affection he had ever seen her express towards him. He wasn't sure if that was cause for elation or worry, all things considered. He was glad that he was able to cheer up his friend to some degree, but of course there was no forgetting the right state he had found her in staring off into space like she had no where to go and no one to confide in. Moments ago, he felt a similar tug at his heart, and he couldn't help but wonder how absolutely convoluted fate was being lately if this combination of circumstances and events led them to this spot. Surely, there was a fluke in the system, because he couldn't understand why they deserved this.

Once the smiles and chuckles died down, he couldn't help but ask the obvious question. "Why are you here? Really?"

It was frightening how quickly her shoulders hunched back over and how quickly the vacancy in her eyes took over when she was reminded of things she probably didn't want to be reminded of. "I was suffocating. I came out here to breathe."

Such a simple couple of sentences strung together, but it all seemed so surreal to him that he wasn't sure if he was dreaming or just coming upon a strange coincidence.

"What about you?" she asked him.

Aang sighed and blinked at a star that was hanging over his head. "This is the closest I could get to flying."

If there was one thing that Aang had learned about Toph over the years, it was that she hated talking about personal things. Getting her to admit to something that had anything to do with her feelings or emotions was harder than pulling teeth, so it was too much for Aang to expect her to start explaining what she was really doing in a city like this. What made him really laugh was that neither was particularly shocked to see the other. Aang supposed it was because it was just too natural for them to always wind up finding each other in some way. They were friends for so long and had experienced so much together, it did make sense that they wouldn't totally get rid of each other. If the war taught all of them one thing, it was that nothing was a surprise anymore: not even finding Toph on the roof of his hotel after a whole year.

Aang pushed for vague questions for the sake of filling up the silence. "How long are you staying?"

The girl shook her head and hugged her knees closer to her chest. "Don't know. When I'm ready to leave I guess. It might take some time." Toph seemed adamant on not eluding to what that "it" was that was keeping her here, but Aang kindly reminded himself that he probably didn't want to go into his own mess either.

"Why North Chung-Ling? Last time I checked, you nearly ran this town bankrupt with your antics a few years ago."

Toph smiled sadly at the memory. "Yeah, you remember that, huh?"

"Of course. I was involved, I'm embarrassed to say," Aang chuckled.

"Eh, you had fun, admit it," Toph nudged him gently again. "But think about it: who would expect me to come back here? Plus everywhere else was out of the question."

"How so?"

Toph brought her thumbnail to her mouth. "Can't get to the Air Temples if I'm not you. Earth Kingdom is too obvious. Water Tribes are completely out of the question. I'd be on ice and have to wear shoes lest I get frostbite. Then I'd really be a little blind girl stuck in the dark." She gestured out to the city underneath them. "So the Fire Nation it was."

Aang shrugged, slightly amused that he had similarly knocked out all of the same places, just for different reasons. "I guess it's not a horrible place for catharsis."

Toph hummed. "How do you know it's for catharsis?"

"Why else come to the one city in the Fire Nation you know everyone would expect you to avoid?" he explained. "Plus, you look wound up over something."

She scowled at that comment and curled further in on herself. "Don't assume anything. I'm fine."

Aang knew he hit the nail on the head. Just as he suspected. The minute her emotions were even hinted at in a conversation, her body language practically reeked of defensiveness. She was reaching her limit, and if he pushed too much she knew that she would completely shut him out and then he would never learn anything. Considering her mood, it was a miracle that she decided to speak this much. Her presence here was mysterious and unexplained, but he supposed that it was a nice change of pace. Maybe having some company here was better for him. Sitting for hours alone in his room certainly didn't accomplish anything, and he was sure that keeping up the anti-social behavior for the duration of his stay wouldn't yield any positive results either.

They were silent for a few minutes before Aang spoke in a soft voice. "It's getting late. You should go to bed."

The girl sighed out in a way that made her breathe shake and her shoulder tremble. It was far too hot outside for it to be a chill from the cold. Suddenly, Aang felt like leaving Toph alone for a year was probably the worst decision he could have ever made. Toph shook her head and drummed her fingers on her elbows. "I don't sleep much lately."

Aang tilted his head and rolled his tongue over his teeth in thought. He stared down at the street below at a group of young boys carrying pieces of glass, sticks, and rocks and scowled darkly at the scene. "Yeah. Me neither."

OOO

"Alright, then, dearie." An old, stout woman with silver hair piled in a bun on the back of her head entered the small room in the back of the shop and smiled warmly at the patient in front of her. "Kuzon, you said your name was, right?"

Aang nodded and coughed to clear his throat. "Uh, yes ma'am."

"Wonderful, wonderful," she muttered to herself, opening some of the cabinets that were lined along the walls of the room they were both sitting in. Aang glanced briefly and saw that they were mostly filled with jars, mortars, and pestles with various herbs and plants that she probably prescribed to patients when they came to her with various ailments. "Can you pay, sweetheart?"

The monk scoffed and rolled his eyes. For a warmhearted healer, she was sure getting to the point. He was sure she turned people away with no money before she was able to attend to them. So much for being treated nicely. Aang reached into his pocket and pulled out a small handful of coins that he was sure would more than cover the cost of a simple consultation with a healer that probably wouldn't be able to do anything.

The healer smiled and picked up each of the coins carefully, holding them up to the light and counting them twice to make sure that he had paid her in full. Once she was satisfied, she nodded to herself and locked the money away in a small box she kept on the counter. She turned back to him and sat down on a hard backed chair right in front of Aang and folded her hands in her lap. "Well, then," she gestured between the two of them. "How can I help you?"

Aang scratched the back of his neck and looked towards his feet. "Just, uh…trouble sleeping, I guess."

"Ah," the woman nodded sagely. "Insomnia. You poor thing, wicked thing to have to deal with, not sleeping," the healer cooed in a voice that Aang was sure just laced with mock compassion. She returned to the cabinets filled with herbs. "How long has this been going on, dearie?"

Aang blinked and tried to count back. "I'd have to guess about two weeks."

The healer hummed to herself and stared quizzically at the cabinet in front of her. "Hasn't happened to you before, has it?"

Aang shook his head and laced his hands together on his lap, looking and feeling like a little boy stuck in a healer's rooms because he had the flu or was having stomach pains. "No, never." Aang winced. "Well…there was this one time a few years ago where I refused to sleep. But, that fixed itself in a matter of days." More like his friends practically spent all day constructing a heavenly wonderland of sheep's wool just to force him to calm the hell down for two seconds and take a nap before he trained himself into exhaustion, but he left that part out.

"What caused that, do you think?" the healer asked.

"I guess stress," he replied vaguely. Stress was an understatement. Constant fear and paranoia of failing everyone in the world, getting hurt, losing his friends, and leading to the demise and take over of the planet was a more accurate description. But if he was going to think of this from a medical standpoint, it definitely was unhealthy amounts of stress.

"Well, that sounds like the culprit this time," the healer replied, now starting to pick out some herbs from jars and a few oils from small bowls. "Those who have trouble sleeping but have no history of the ailment are often plagued with stress." After setting the materials down on the counter, she turned back to him and stared at him critically. "Did anything particularly stressful happen around two weeks ago?"

Yes, as a matter of fact something did, Aang thought immediately, but he didn't really think that would chalk up to lack of sleep. Besides, what did a healer need to know about that for? "Nothing really that I can think of…it's been pretty tame lately. Maybe I'm sick."

The healer scoffed, cracking the warm grandmotherly act she was trying to implement as part of her pitch—well, Aang was assuming from here on out that it was a pitch. "You're not sick, but you are lying. Terribly, too. Now come on. I need to know to see if it's for any serious medical reason."

Aang rubbed his neck and looked up at the ceiling when he confessed, "I mean, my girlfriend and I did break up around that time, but I don't really think that's—"

"Oh my goodness, of course that's means for stress!" the woman gasped dramatically. Aang rolled his eyes.

"I am so sorry," she apologized. "And for what it's worth, an attractive young man like you doesn't deserve to go through such trauma. I can't imagine what it must be like to spend sleepless night constantly wondering where things went wrong and what you could have possible done to deserve something like this…"

She was laying it on very thick, and it was far too obvious that she was being a gigantic phony about her attempts towards comfort and sympathy. Suddenly, he really wanted to just forget he ever came here, get up, and march straight back to his hotel and suffer through the sleepless nights for however long it took for them to finally go away. The childhood crush thing didn't work out quite like he thought it would, and people caught wind of it almost immediately. People latched onto juicy gossip like the Avatar and his Waterbending master breaking it off after so many good years. Aang, however, was never a fan of such entertainment and hated bringing it up and fueling the fire, even in the midst of anonymity.

Despite the act, the healer seemed to really think this was the problem and was starting to lug over so many herbs and incenses that would supposedly help him deal with and accept his breakup. Aang kind of just wanted to forget about it and pretend it never happened. He had been doing a pretty good job of that until now.

"The key is relaxation," the healer continued on. "These teas over here are lovely for calming the nerves and balancing your energy. Lighting some of these herbs at night will create a much more comfortable and warming environment when you're about to go to sleep. It's all about embracing the natural remedies and allowing your body to heal on its own pace without any abnormal or abrasive methods. Now, in addition—"

Aang stopped her quickly. "Listen," he muttered. "I'm, er, sure that all of this would work swell and that it's the better route, but I was actually hoping for something a little more reliable. Stronger, if you will."

The healer kept playing stupid. "Why, I have no idea what you mean? Stronger than all of this?"

The monk groaned. He knew what sorts of things healers sold in the Fire Nation, so he knew she knew exactly what he was talking about. But lucky for him, he just happened to wander into a money hungry establishment. Aang dug through his pockets and started fingering out more coins. "I'm almost positive you have an understanding with the apothecary across the street," Aang stated, jutting his chin towards the establishment across the street with signs displaying all sorts of sales on different types of tonics and solutions. He pulled out a hefty amount of money. "I'm sure there's something else you can give me."

The healer kept her eyes wide and shocked until they quickly hardened and a smirk twisted onto her face. "Now how did a boy like you know about that?"

Aang shrugged. "Very observant."

The healer chuckled, turned around, and opened a large cabinet before undoing the large latch she kept on it. She shuffled through a few small bottles that were kept on the many shelves inside before pulling out a small box filled with about ten vials.

She pulled out one to show him. "Sleeping draught. A pretty powerful one that should help you sleep through the night. This is enough for about a month."

"Does it work?" he asked skeptically.

"Should," she replied. "Apothecary guaranteed it."

Aang stared at the bottles. "Any side effects?"

"Not this," she explained. "If you want anything stronger, I guess I could show them to you. But I can't account for what those will do to you. A small spoonful of this should give you a nice dreamless sleep."

Dreamless, huh? That sounded pretty good as an added perk. Not that he expected any to come to him at night, but not having to deal with any troubling dreams sounded almost too perfect. "I'll take them."

The healer shrugged and closed the case before handing it off to him. "In all honesty…getting out a bit more might help too. You shouldn't grow too dependent on those. They'll mess up your sleep cycle if you're on them for too long."

"But you're selling me a month's worth," Aang commented dryly as he packed them away into his satchel.

"Irrelevant," she brushed off. "But I do mean what I say. Company helps when you're stressed out."

Aang frowned. "So do sleeping draughts."

She chortled into her hand. "Yeah, that too. Have a nice day."

Aang carefully placed the bottles into his bag and slipped out of the shop. He tried to walk carefully so that they didn't clink against each other and garner too much attention. He was sure that a noise like that coming from his bag would no doubt sound a little suspicious.

As he weaved through the people, Aang realized with a groan that despite his desire to be alone during this little excursion of his, everything seemed to contradict that wish. Just when he thought he could just stay holed up in his room all day and think and brood, now the healer was telling him that sleep couldn't solve everything, and that he needed to get out more. He decided to shrug that off for now though. Perhaps he'll take advantage of it if he ever needed to go out and buy something. Maybe he'd even start some small talk with a sales clerk or something. That counted as socializing, right?

The other instance of shock was of course the example of cosmic intervention that managed to pluck Toph from whatever fabric of time she was supposed to be occupying right now, and stuck her right smack dab in the middle of his mental cleansing. That couldn't have been a coincidence, could it? Stranger things have happened to him, and being the Avatar usually taught him to take instances like this seriously. Plus it wasn't like he was just going to pretend that she wasn't around. This was Toph. Added to the fact that he hadn't really seen her look so dejected and broken—not even when he almost abandoned her at her parent's house—he knew he really couldn't afford to maintain any semblance of peace and quiet. His curiosity wouldn't allow it.

Oh well. Mission aborted.

He supposed the next logical step was to at least figure out what on Earth Toph of all people needed to run away from, seeing as how she spent most of her life hiding and running. He wasn't too optimistic in that department, but it would be worse just leaving her to her devices and remaining eternally curious as towards her intentions. Besides, could he honestly really ignore her for the sake of some desperate attempt at reestablishing normality? He wasn't going to start kidding himself.

Aang stopped at an old bookstore and managed to pick up a couple of short novels that he promised himself he would read. When meditating failed and when company seemed almost physically sickening, he was sure that he would appreciate the little distraction. He had to admit, ever since the war ended, he really hadn't read or written much of anything that didn't have to do with legalities. Perhaps this would be a nice change of pace.

The walk back to the hotel was entirely uneventful, and the monk was filled with a newfound purpose of curling up in bed with some books, dosing himself into oblivion, and forgetting the day ever happened. He'd deal with pesky things like emotions tomorrow. Yes, that sounded like a good plan.

Aang was about to greet the kind receptionist that was situated behind the desk before he noticed that she was busy dealing with a customer who was leaning over the desk holding a handkerchief with something inside. He walked past them and began heading for the stairs up to his floor.

"Are you sure, hon?" the receptionist asked, falling back into the motherly pet name that she probably reused with a lot of people. "You never know when you might need them."

"I promise you I'm not going to need them. Walking around in the dark doesn't make a difference to me. Besides, they're just taking up drawer space."

The monk's forehead creased and he clicked his tongue against his teeth as he stood in the doorway perplexed at the sight of the blind girl making another appearance. How many more times was this going to happen?

Something was definitely different though. The Toph last night looked lost and thoughtful. It was definitely out of character, but almost endearing in its unfamiliarity. The shoulders were more hunched today, the hair was a little bit more limp, and there was just the lightest dusting of dark circles underneath her eyes. She was also banging her fist against her forearm—a habit that he learned a while ago meant that she was trying to keep herself awake. She didn't look like she had gotten any sleep last night, and suddenly he was even more intrigued than he was before.

Immediately remembering that he forgot to pick up more candles like he said he would before he returned, Aang figured he would use the situation to his advantage and kill two birds with one stone.

He cleared his throat and gained the attention of the two women. As Toph turned, he could clearly see the exhaustion from her frown to her dulled eyes. He pretended not to notice. "If you don't mind, I needed extra candles anyway. I could take them off your hands for you if you want," Aang offered. He didn't bother identifying himself. Toph knew who he was.

Aang wasn't sure why he was expecting a scathing comment or at least some reluctance. There was no need for Toph to do so. They were just candles—candles that she didn't want, no less. But he was so used to her lethal repartee that he unconsciously built himself up for a pleasant argument in her presence. That's why it surprised him when Toph merely lifted her shoulders gently and closed her eyes in a passive acceptance that Aang didn't think he had ever seen her do in his entire life—ever.

She closed up the handkerchief and handed them to Aang. He briefly looked down at her fingers and couldn't help but stare at the way her skin stretched across her bony knuckles and made her already pale skin look positively translucent. He remembered his hands used to look the same whenever he was stressed and could only nibble at his food. He felt the involuntary urge to run the pads of his fingers over them.

She allowed the corners of her mouth to lift slightly in a very small, very forced smile. "Thanks," she muttered quietly.

The noble didn't look like she really wanted to converse any longer, although she didn't pull her hand away immediately. He wouldn't label the lingering as anything emotional, but he wondered if it was because her fingertips were so cold, and the palm of his hand—which always gave off this residual warmth ever since he started Firebending—was a welcoming feeling. He certainly felt a small chill when their hands connected.

The moment faded quickly and Toph was about to turn around and do who knew what. Mope. Sit around. Not sleep. Get thinner. Get colder. Get quieter. All things that were quintessentially not Toph. So he grabbed her hand in his own and pulled her back to him.

A small part of his mind bemoaned the fact that she didn't collide with his chest like the romance scrolls always said. Although, why he would be imagining something like that was beyond him and chose to simply ignore it for later analysis. The girl's eyes widened and it was only at this distance that he noticed that the cloudy orbs were just the slightest bit pink and swollen. He didn't want to even think what that meant and started speaking before he could stop and think it through first. Impulsive Firebender nature. It must have been amplified because he was in the Fire Nation.

"Do you want to hang out tomorrow?" he asked in a rush of words that slurred themselves together. "Not anything major or anything just…maybe we could go out to eat or…watch a show. They have shows here in town, did you know? Or we don't have to do any of that. We could just walk around and, I dunno, talk, or…I guess…"

Aang trailed off, realizing how completely unprepared he was. Sokka always told him that when he was nervous and impulsive, he rattled on like a psycho and no one could ever understand him. The horrible delivery aside, he hoped that she would agree. Toph was different Stranger. More cut off. Plus, in addition to the awful tonics he had been given, the healer had suggested he get up and do something. Loathed as he was to admit it, the idea sounded nice when the prospect of hanging out with Toph again after a whole year presented itself to him. Had everything been normal and friendly and familiar, he probably would have asked the same thing of her. But because of all the mismatched events and facts that were slowly culminating around him, this seemed more vital.

Her mouth cracked open, and he was so so sure that she was going to agree to have an exciting day together like they used to. But, her words visibly faltered and her mouth shut closed with a small sigh.

Toph shook her head. "Look, Twinkles, I…I mean it sounds nice but…I think I'm getting kind of sick from not sleeping much. I sort of wanted to turn in early and at least lay down for a bit before my headache comes back. Maybe some other time."

Aang was about to stop her and say that he could walk her to her room at least and get her anything she needed, but she had already scurried up the stairs and out of sight before Aang could even finish thinking the words.

OOO

"You know, you're kinda pissing me off."

Aang wondered if she was purposefully subdued in the midst of company. She was so quiet and almost timid in front of the receptionist earlier in the day, but the moment the sun went down and they were all alone, her bite came back. Unfortunately, when it came to her appearance, not much had changed.

The monk did nothing but chuckle and run his hand along the stubble that was growing along his jaw with a frown. He was usually really good about remembering to shave. "And why is that, my dear?" he teased her.

Toph was always short, but she looked absolutely tiny curled up into a ball with her knees to her chest. It was like she was barely there. For some reason, this worried him.

"You're always interrupting my free time," she grumbled into her pants. "This is the second time in as many days. Find a hobby."

The insults flew right through him since he had already gotten himself used to Toph's less than pleasant nature, quickly picking it up as her only known method of communicating with others without properly letting them know how she was really feeling. A clever little tactic if not completely ineffectual.

"Funny," he commented, shrugging off his tunic and remaining in a sleeveless undershirt that was much much cooler. "But I seem to recall paying to stay at this hotel. That means that I have every right to occupy whatever area of this hotel I so choose—including the roof. We just happen to both come here at around the same time and have horrible sleep schedules." Horrible was a gross understatement. Practically nonexistent was more like it.

Toph tried to scowl, but the expression was broken by a yawn. She spoke through it with her mouth wide open. "Smart ass."

Aang chuckled and tilted his head in a mocking fashion. "Getting sleepy there, kiddo?"

"Well, damn, maybe I could go downstairs and get some sleep if you would buzz off and leave me alone," Toph snarled.

The jab didn't do much to Aang who had already learned when to back away from Toph and when to realize when the girl was being defensive and closed off. Anyway, if he happened to push a little too hard and piss her off to the point of no return, maybe the punch she will undoubtedly throw at his jaw will knock him out and give him a good night's rest. She'll probably leave him outside and on the roof to bear the elements alone, but he figured he'd risk it.

Walked with his hands behind his back, he looked up and tried to pull a small talk topic from the air to lighten the mood. "You know, I heard from a very reliable source that increased activity improves the inability to sleep," Aang said breezily, pulling inspiration from that phony healer of all people. "Maybe if you agree to go with me somewhere, you wouldn't be so cranky."

That was clearly not the right thing to say, or Toph was really that tired that she immediately latched onto the one part of his statement that she could use against him to get Aang to go back downstairs in his small hotel room and never speak to her again. "For your information, I came here so that I can do whatever I want without people breathing down my neck. I can spend my days doing whatever the fuck I want and I don't need you coming up here to preach to me on how to relax. So just do me a favor and get the hell out of here, huh?"

Aang's face was passive and he raised both of his eyebrows, since he wasn't Toph and could never will the muscles in his face to lift just one of them. It usually made him looked shocked and disinterested instead of mocking, which is when he really tended to use it. However, in this context it seemed to work well even though Toph couldn't see it. It let him build up the proper mood and reaction.

He coughed uncomfortably. "Well, I guess trying to offer friendly advice from one insomniac to another was a little presumptuous and rude on my part. Honestly, where have my manners gone?" Aang drawled sarcastically, a skill he learned from Zuko that he found was rather effective when dealing with the Earthbender. "I'll just go and leave you to stare sleeplessly into the skyline. Let me know when it starts working."

Maybe Zuko was right. Maybe he was in a bad mood. All this sarcasm and brutal honesty was starting to pile up and become seriously effective. If he wasn't careful he might keep talking like this all the time. Then again, if it got Toph to lift her head in shock and turn to face him—which it did—maybe he'd need to keep it up for just a bit longer.

Aang did a little victory dance on the inside after finally getting Toph's attention, and completed the statement with a sharp one hundred and eighty degree turn and a confident saunter back towards the roof to the door.

He didn't even get to walk ten paces before he felt Toph's body shift on her perch on the edge of the roof and call out to him. "Hold on a second…"

Aang smirked to himself and couldn't help break into a wide grin at the sound of her calling him back. He squared his features and turned back around, facing her with his hands in his pockets. He shrugged his shoulders, urging her to continue with what she was about to say, looking like the epitome of blasé.

Toph bit her lip for a few seconds and let it unfurl from her teeth. It came out looking redder and fuller, adding a bit of color to her face that was missing before. Aang couldn't help but stare at it as she spoke.

"Sorry," she grumbled, almost as if she were reluctant to have to actually realize that she owed someone an apology for once. "It's just…not a good day, you know?"

Aang nodded. He did know. His day had been nothing to write home about either. If anything, he sort of wanted to sit around and mope around about it to if only he knew it would actually solve anything. "Can I sit?"

She was already shuffling to the left along the edge of the roof and patted the space next to her before he even finished the question. She brought the very tip of her thumb against her lips and sighed as he carefully maneuvered himself so that he wouldn't accidently pitch himself off the edge. No need to embarrass himself by doing some hasty last minute bending just to save himself from doing something stupid.

He didn't think to initiate the conversation, thinking that he would probably screw up the conversation and lead to a repeat introduction of Toph's ire again. So he leaned his elbows on his knees and stared out at the darkening skyline until Toph turned her head and spoke. "So insomnia, huh? I thought you were kidding about the sleeping thing yesterday."

Aang shook his head and scratched along his jaw. "Nope. Haven't slept in weeks. Can't seem to fall out to save my life. Your body wants you to sleep so badly, but your brain just shuts out the messages and keeps you wide awake."

The Earthbender frowned and lowered her thumb. "Stray thoughts?"

"Not even," Aang answered. "I'm not preoccupied with anything. Nothing's keeping me up. It just doesn't come. There's a connection that isn't being made."

"You don't know that," Toph responded, resting her chin in the palm of her hand. "Unconsciously, you could be seriously bothered with something. Anything happen in the past year since I've seen you?"

Aang smirked at her question and immediately picked up on the little trick. "Will you promise to divulge the same information if I tell you?"

The girl scowled and blew a piece of hair out of her face. "How slick. Touché."

"Thank you."

Toph blinked her eyes quickly three times, and each time the tips of her eyelashes just barely brushed against her cheekbones, which were always unusually high for a girl. She started banging her fist against her forearm again and started widening her eyes in a vain attempt to keep them from dropping shut in the middle of one of her sentences.

Aang stared at her critically and asked, "So are you the same? Can't seem to fall asleep?"

She shook her head roughly, half to disagree with Aang and half to shake out the drowsiness curling into her brain like a thick fog that wasn't letting up. "I could fall asleep if I wanted to. At least I think so. But that's not the problem."

The monk frowned. "Then what's the problem?" He could barely stomach not being able to sleep. What on earth must it have been like to not want to sleep? Why would someone ever wish to torture themselves like that? Surely she was exaggerating.

Toph took her two thumbnails and started picking at them, making sharp clicking sounds that seemed very loud in comparison to the oddly silent night. "It's complicated, Twinkle Toes."

He stuck out his elbow and nudged her gently. "An eye for an eye, Sifu. You promised."

"No I didn't."

"You prefaced the conversation by suggesting you would embellish your last statement. That's practically a blood oath."

Toph sucked her lips in, refusing to speak and sealing her lips shut. But Aang already knew the signs, because damn it all if he couldn't read Toph like a preschool book at this point. She always kept things bottled up, definitely. But he knew his urge to want to desperately tell someone what was bothering him was also embedded into her, just with slightly different wiring. All it took was some simple prodding and very careful conversing and he could get her to admit anything.

After the rugged Sifu-student relationship dissolved after the completion of the war, the two of them fell into this comfortable and easy friendship that melded together almost seamlessly. He hadn't quite realized how easy it was to talk to her about Katara, or how quickly she spoke to him about everything her parents ever said to her that made her scream and kick and cry.

He even remembered one night, during the week long wedding, they were sitting on the roof of the Fire Palace after sharing countless dances and officially scaring away all of the drunkards on the ground below them. Toph was falling asleep and was leaning against his shoulder, something that Aang didn't think she had ever done—not even with Sokka, and she had a serious crush on him. He knew because he told her. But that night, when he was sure she was asleep and when he was close to dozing off himself, she heard her speak quietly.

"You know, I think the two of us can actually give this a try."

Aang turned his head towards her, but wound up just pressing his lips lightly against the crown of her head instead. If Toph noticed the action, she didn't respond to it. "What's this?"

"You know the whole falling in love thing," she explained. "You with Sweetness, and me with the guy I was telling you about."

"The son of that dude?"

Toph laughed and nodded. "Yeah, him. But seriously, I…I sort of didn't think we had it in us."

"What do you mean?" Aang questioned.

The girl shrugged and adjusted her position on Aang's shoulder so that her nose was just underneath his chin. "We were so distracted with the war. You lost so much. And me…well, I never really figured out the whole 'getting close to people' thing. But we did okay."

Aang nodded. She was right on the money. Some days he would sit in his bed and stare up at the sky and just think about the vastness of the time he had lost and the people he had missed. Everyone he had ever known—every drop of his blood—was gone in an instant, and he now shouldered the pressure of maintaining that blood and letting it spread and grow. He had an entire nation worth of living to make up for, since in the back of his mind he had always felt slightly responsible. He wanted to love enough, laugh enough, and cry enough for everyone he had ever lost. While the feelings for Katara were there and he didn't doubt them in the least, he was always reluctant of his success in such an endeavor. Would he be able to handle it?

Toph was always a different story. After spending years and years of being stunted and ignored, there was always this passionate need to prove something: mainly that she was independent and that she needed no one to hand hold her. It was why she was willing to practically sever her family ties and risk losing their hearts forever by hitting them where it really hurt just to prove to anyone that was close enough to hear her scream that she was strong and she needed no one. Aang couldn't imagine how hard it had to be for someone like that to realize that everyone needed to be vulnerable at some point or another, especially when someone special came along.

All things considered, they did okay. He didn't think he'd ever live to see the day when Toph admitted to being in love. It was a lovely revelation she made, and it warmed him to know that they could both move on comfortably despite it all.

Now everything had rebounded and they were right back where they started.

Aang smile fondly at her and nudged her one more time. She was trying hard not to smile, but Aang kept at it. He was yanking at small locks of her hair—silky, soft, thick, and long—by the time she finally relented with a grin and a sigh.

"I just," she began, physically struggling with her words. "I hate dreaming," she said lamely. "It's too…honest, I guess. Reveals too many intrinsic things about you and I don't want to have to deal with it. It brings up too many old memories and reminders of things that can't be, and it upsets me. So if I don't sleep, I don't dream, and I don't dwell. Problem solved."

Aang winced. "You know, except for the whole sleep deprivation issue," he reminded her.

She lifted her head high and shook her head. "I can handle it," Toph said.

No she couldn't, he immediately thought. He knew, because he couldn't handle it either. Something invisible was gnawing at him, and he couldn't see it, hear it, or feel it to know what it was. It was hard to run away from something that couldn't really go away. Not easily, anyhow. But Aang certainly didn't have the answers to these questions, and from the look of Toph, he was certain that she didn't have them either. It's why she came out here to breathe and why he came out here wishing that he could just take off and fly and leave. There was nothing else that they knew. Running away failed, so remaining stationary in the most unfamiliar bog of anonymity possible was all that remained.

It was depressing when Aang really thought about it. But in Aang's opinion, people had the right to be selfish and unreasonable at some point. In this city with no one around and no one to tell them how to solve their problems, Aang found it was far too easy to suggest a cowardly, quick fix solution to their problems.

"You know," Aang replied after a long bout of silence. "I picked up some stuff today that might help with that."