Welp here I go with a multi-chapter fic

Disclaimers about ownership go here and such; have fun.

Kise Ryouta was in love.

Almost embarrassingly so, actually.

It wasn't quite love at first sight, not really, but it was probably as close to it as you can get in this day and age, so Ryouta liked to occasionally wax poetic about it in his head.

Ryouta's life was firmly divided into Before-Aomine and After-Aomine.

Before-Aomine was everything it implied – it was grey, it was sports without a challenge. It was modelling jobs because there was nothing more interesting to fill the time with. Before-Aomine was a life where Kise Ryouta was not aware that love at first sight was a thing that existed and happened, a life where Kise Ryouta believed that love at first sight was a fairy tale and the way a girl tells herself that she's in love with a boy who she knows nothing about.

Before-Aomine was simple, but Before-Aomine was also just existing, existing instead of really living. After-Aomine is the deep blue of the ocean and the brown of the earth and the joy of a sunny summer day.

The Aomine Event – the point at which Ryouta's life burst from boredom and onto its fated course (because, After-Aomine, how could Ryouta believe that their encounter was anything but fate itself?) – was that day he took a basketball to the head.

It's not quite love at first sight. The boy who's chased after the ball that struck Ryouta is grinning, waving, and taking back the basketball. The boy recognises him, but that was not the point at which Ryouta fell in love. Not until he remembers. I haven't tried basketball yet. And, our school has a really strong basketball team, doesn't it? Not until he follows the path of the boy with dark blue hair and tanned skin, and looks into the gym and sees.

He is beautiful and fluid and unpredictable on the court, and completely unexpected. He is everything Ryouta has been searching for and dreaming of since his ability to copy and perfect the movements of his teammates and opponents began to shine and make sports boring. Someone unique, someone who he can't copy (Except maybe he could. Maybe. One day, maybe? But not now, and probably not for a long time, if he really, truly, ever could).

After-Aomine is a world full of colour and wonder and life in a way Before-Aomine wasn't and never could have been. In the beginning, After-Aomine is whispers of a Generation of Miracles and monsters on the court. After-Aomine is Kuroko Tetsuya, who is the perfect fairy tale hero, the protagonist of every story, the ordinary boy who sacrifices everything, gives his blood, sweat and tears to stand unseen and uncelebrated next to Aomine in the court.

Ryouta loves Kurokocchi, but not in a life-changing, world-defining way like he does Aomine. Ryouta loves Kurokocchi because he understands, because the way he looks at Aomine, Ryouta is sure that the little shadow boy, Teiko's sixth who's thought only to be a rumour, loves Aomine just as much as he does.

(He's wrong about that, in the end, but it doesn't matter anyway)

Ryouta's still not sure what to call the sections of his After-Aomine world; he just knows that there are definable periods of life After-Aomine.

The problem with having a world which is defined by another person is that it is all too easy for that world to become drastically uncontrollable, which is what happens to Ryouta's After-Aomine world; it dives headfirst into what seems like a dark, bottomless cavern as quickly as it soared to its beautiful peak.

During this time, the world doesn't have the same dullness of the grey Before-Aomine. It's not boring like the life Before-Aomine.

And somehow, it makes it hurt so much deeper.

Initially, watching Aomine bloom was thrilling and exciting, a time when Ryouta is sure that no matter what happens; he will never reach that incredible pinnacle of achievement and performance that Aomine stands upon. It is inspiring, and even as Ryouta continues to chase the lines of Aomine's back and chase his talent and reach and reach and reach for the place upon which he stands, Ryouta is awestruck and admiring, chanting in his head, there is no way you can ever reach him.

And then, just as quickly as his life was rapidly re-routed and redefined that day he first saw Aomine play, Ryouta finds his world plunged into the darkness of Aomine's growing apathy.

The late nights playing one-on-one together stop. Aomine stops coming to practice. Aomine looks on, bored and tired and Ryouta isn't sure whether he wants to scream or sob because he knows, he knows what it is to be Aomine and watching and knowing that he is nowhere near able to do anything about it has to be the most heart wrenching and devastating part.

The world After-Aomine still has colours (it has not faded to grey), but somehow the colours are all darker. The most horrifying part of the world After-Aomine where Aomine just doesn't care is that the colours are still there for Ryouta.

Ryouta cannot be the person that Aomine has been for him and it feels like it rips him to shreds, how bad he wants to be that person to bring all the colours back into his life.

He reaches so much and so far and yet, in the end, it's still not him who brings the colour back to Aomine's world. He watches on when Seirin topples Touou, when Kagamicchi and Kurokocchi beat Aominecchi, and Ryouta is torn between his reckless, soaring happiness and love because Aomine must surely be seeing all the beautiful colours of their world again now; torn between this, and his crushing disappointment for not being the one who brought them back. Ryouta can't help but resent Kurokocchi and his partner even as he loves them for what they've done, even as he acknowledges Kurokocchi's prior claim to bringing Aomine back.

"Ki-chan."

Ryouta looked up wearily from his seat. He'd told his team to go ahead, that he had plans to meet someone. He didn't, not really. He just hated the way he was limping everywhere; hated showing that weakness, knowing that it was the reason that Kaijou had lost, the reason that they were going to lose to Shutoku. It was more than he could stand, to let them help him when he was letting them down. He'd just walk at his own pace and take rests when he needed to.

"Momocchi, hey," he greeted her. "Sorry, I'd get up and give you a hug but..."

Momoi frowned. "You should be keeping off that leg," she murmured. "Why don't you have crutches or something?"

"It's not that bad," Ryouta protested.

Momoi didn't look convinced. "I bet you have to stop at every bench for a rest," she accused him. "You're almost worse than Dai-chan, I swear." She pulled out her phone and sent a lightning fast mail before sitting down next to him. "Why didn't you let your team help you?"

Ryouta shrugged. It was a stupid reason, but he was kind of stupid, so it didn't really matter. Either way, he didn't want to tell her.

"I don't have time to babysit you and Dai-chan," she teased. Then she sighed. "I let my eyes off him for a second, Ki-chan, and he goes and does something stupid."

Ryouta found his curiosity piqued. "I haven't heard of Aominecchi doing anything outrageous," he offered her. "What did he do?"

She pressed her lips tightly together, but there was an odd pause before she spoke, which Ryouta didn't understand until she spoke.

"He went and punched Haizaki," she told him quietly, "after your game."

Ryouta felt for a moment as if he couldn't breathe. "He did what."

"His knuckles were all scraped and bruised up too," Momoi griped. "What would he have done if he was banned from playing in tournaments in the future for assaulting another player? He's so stupid, Ki-chan. Ah, but he'll probably be really mad that I told you."

Ryouta looked at his feet. "Eh, Aominecchi and I don't really see much of each other, so it probably won't matter," he replied quietly. "And even if it was stupid, I guess I'm kind of horrible, Momocchi, because it makes me so happy that he cares."

They sat in silence for a moment, before Ryouta, feeling uncomfortable with the gaze he felt on him, went to haul himself up.

"No, wait," Momoi cautioned. Ryouta looked at her. "Dai-chan's on his way over," she admitted. "You can't make your way home on your own in this state, Ki-chan."

Ryouta stared. "I can't let him see me like this," he whispered, horrified. "Why would you..."

"Oi, Kise."

Ryouta flinched. "Ah, Aominecchi." It was a weak greeting – Ryouta didn't look to see what expression he was making. "You really didn't have to come, Momocchi worries too much."

Aomine snorted. "Don't talk such shit to me, Kise."

Momoi stood up, a calculating expression on her face. "Dai-chan, you should take Ki-chan to your house tonight. It's closer than sending Ki-chan home."

There was an odd expression on Aomine's face. "Whatever," he grunted. He looked down at Ryouta, and then his legs. The odd expression never left his face, and he sighed before crouching down next to Ryouta.

"Come on then," he said. "We don't have all night."

Ryouta slung an arm around Aomine's shoulders, and let him take his weight off his injured side as they stood together and walked, Momoi walking behind them.

"You really didn't have to," Ryouta said. He wasn't sure if he meant punching Haizaki, or helping him walk.

"Yeah, I did."

Ryouta wasn't sure which one Aomine was responding to, either.

It's embarrassing and humiliating, leaning on Aomine and limping, and trying not to let it show how much it hurts, how much everything hurts. I wanted to bring that smile to your face, he thinks. I wanted to be the one who made you care.

It's too late now. It always seems to be too late with him; late to pick up basketball, late to begin to unlock his potential, late to paint Aomine's world back in colours instead of shades of grey.

Worst of all, Ryouta is so weak in front of him right now, not even really able to walk properly. It feels like everything burns.

They've been injured before, of course. Prodigies with talents beyond their bodies push their limits because they're stupid and they can't help but try, and Ryouta and Aomine have both picked up plenty of injuries at Teiko. Still, neither one of them has ever been injured like Ryouta is injured now, and he can't help but feel it's yet another failure, another way in which he falls short. It is, after all, the injury that he got initially copying Aomine.

The silence between them feels heavy, though Ryouta's not sure why. Maybe it's because he usually makes attempts at light-hearted conversation, but Ryouta is tired. Tired and hurt and feeling more vulnerable than he ever has before. His fingers are fisting in the shoulder of Aomine's shirt, knuckles turning white.

"I think Ki-chan needs to rest again, Dai-chan."

Aomine looks at him and sighs. "You're so troublesome," he mutters. "Just say something if you need it."

Hope you enjoyed that. Will likely put up the next chapter on Sunday, it just needs some editing.