J: Greetings, fellow loonies! It is I, J.J. Hatter, here once again to bring you the next part of "Doctor Who: Descent Into Madness!" For the sake of my own sanity – what little there is – I have hidden all things related to...you-know-what (it rhymes with "Lie Brittle Stony") in an undisclosed location, so that VanSkittles can no longer reference it! AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

(As J is laughing, VanSkittles suddenly blasts through the wall, dressed as a Cyberman)

VS: WHERE ARE MY (Great and Powerful) LITTLE PONIES?!

J: I shall never talk! NEVER!

VS: Then you shall be ex-ter-min-a-ted!

J: Um...isn't that what the Daleks say, not the Cybermen...?

VS: SILENCE, OR I SHALL SUMMON GREAT AND POWERFUL MUSTARD BOTTLES UPON THEE!

J: (grabs an axe) EN GARDE!

(Static)

WE'RE SORRY; J.J. HATTER, MASTER OF MADNESS, SEEMS TO BE HAVING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES DUE TO HIS DUEL WITH A BERSERK BRONY. PLEASE ENJOY THIS PRESENTATION OF PART THREE OF "DESCENT INTO MADNESS."

Rating: T (And we hope to keep it that way...but, seeing as we are both sick in the head, it MAY be raised...)

Disclaimer: Doctor Who does not belong to us; it belongs to the British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC). This take on Wonderland, however, is OURS. (Since Carroll's works are in the public domain, we CAN claim this...however, the original stories, obviously, belong to Lewis Carroll himself. En pace requiescat...)

Summary: We have already seen...

An escape from Raston Card Guards... (Part II, Chapter I)

An ugly Duchess and her crazed Cook... (Part II, Chapter II)

A treacherous Knave and his mysterious lord... (Part II, Chapter III)

A White Rabbit, Late for a Very Important Date... (Part II, Chapter IV)

A Breakdown of the Queen...in more ways than one... (Part II, Chapter V)

The King gets stoned...um, that sounded bad... (Part II, also Chapter V)

Ace & the Doctor take tea in Dreamland... (Part II, Chapter VI)

A Fish-Faced Greeting to Card Castle... (Part II, Chapter VII)

Two very curious Androgums... (Part II, Chapter VIII)

A message to the Cheshire Cat... (Part II, Chapter IX)

...As the Knave and the Mad Hatter revealed their treachery! (Part II, Chapter X)

Will this part FINALLY answer some of our readers' (most especially katzsoa's) questions? Wait! The Worst is Yet to Come...

Chapter I: Which Head is Higher?

"Everything has gone precisely as planned," the Mad Hatter grinned.

The Doctor growled, one hand tightening its grip around his umbrella. Ace stared.

"Hatter..." she murmered.

"Hello, Ms. McShane...or should I call you Dorothy? Surprised to see me?"

The girl glared at him.

"It's Ace, you scumbag," she snapped. "And how did you know that?!"

The Hatter and the Hare both laughed.

"Feisty, isn't she?" whispered the March Hare.

"Feisty, indeed," nodded the Mad Hatter.

"Hey! I can hear you!"

"Thanks for pointing that out."

"I should have tried to stop you when I had the chance," the Doctor sneered.

The Hatter grinned.

"Should have, maybe. But you didn't. And now, here I am!" the Hatter chirped, bowing.

The Doctor stepped forward...

The Knave of Hearts snapped his fingers, and the Card Guard Rastons all snapped out their weapons, battered heads twitching.

The Doctor stopped in mid-step.

"Caution, Time," smirked the Knave of Hearts moving from behind the Time Lord to stand near the Hatter, Hare, and Dormouse. "You seem to forget who's in charge now."

As the Knave spoke, a low groan echoed from behind Ace and the Doctor's back. The Queen rose from the floor, holding her sore head.

"Ooh...my head..."

Her eyes settled on the Doctor, recognition settling into them.

"...My head? YOUR head! Off with his head!"

"Ah!" smiled the Mad Hatter, clapping his hands together. "Good morning, madam! So good of you to join the party!"

"Hatter!" the Queen rounded on him. "What is the meaning of this?! What's going on?!"

"A bit of a regime change," sneered the Knave.

"How dare you!" the Queen shrieked. "Off with-!"

"BE SILENT!" shouted the Hatter.

And, without warning the Queen was just that; silent. She gagged, clutching her own throat as her eyes became lit with sheer panic.

"Better," the Hatter sighed, relieved, and smiled conspiratorially at the Doctor. "Such a good little puppet, though she does have a tendency to speak without her puppeteer."

Ace glanced at the Queen, and turned to the Doctor.

"Professor...what's going on here? What's wrong with the Queen?"

"Excellent questions, my dear!" laughed the Hatter, moving toward them. "Why don't you tell her, Time? Tell her why we're here. Tell her why the man who claims to be a healer is the cause of our damnation. Tell her how you're responsible for our collective internment in this wicked Madhouse."

Ace stepped in front of the Doctor as the Hatter came closer. The Hatter stopped, smirking.

"Ace..." the Doctor hissed.

"Stay back!" Ace growled, holding her bat like a sword.

The Hatter chuckled.

"Such spirit...perhaps I will find a way to utilize it."

"Over my dead body."

"Yes, if necessary."

Ace snarled.

"Cards!" the Knave snapped. "Take these three imbeciles to the dungeon; throw the Queen in one cell, and Time and his companion in another, on either side of the ex-King."

In the blink of an eye—or perhaps less time—Ace found her bat torn away from her, and she and the Doctor were surrounded by Rastons.

The Queen was finally able to speak again as two Rastons grabbed hold of her. "Let go of me! Off with your heads!" the Queen screamed. A few more Rastons came to contain her...then her shrieks echoed no longer through the confines of the Throne Room.

"Hatter!" roared the Doctor. "You'll never get away with-!"

Before the Doctor could finish this remark, they were gone, cast away into the bowels of Card Castle.

"How delightful," smiled the Hatter.

"Good riddance to good rubbish," snorted the March Hare.

The Dormouse nodded silently.

"Lord Hatter," the Knave said, with his arms crossed and a mug smile upon his face. "I have done all you have asked, and now, with the Queen of Hearts out of the way, I suppose it is time to start making preparations for my coronation?"

The Hatter raised one eyebrow.

"Coronation?"

"As King of Wonderland."

The Hatter blinked, and then laughed out loud.

The Knave eyed him suspiciously.

"What's so funny?"

The Hatter continued to chortle and snapped his fingers.

Suddenly, the Knave found himself restrained by two of the remaining Card Guards.

"What is the meaning of this?!" he bellowed. "Release me at once!"

"You are a fool, Knave," the Hatter sneered, abruptly serious again. "They won't help you; they only obey me."

The Knave stared.

"But...but I am their commander!"

"Maybe. But I am their programmer."

The Knave glowered and struggled against the metal bonds in vain, as he already knew they could not be broken.

"You lying, treacherous maniac!" he spat.

"You're a fine one to talk," sneered the Hare.

"I did what you told me to do! I served you faithfully, now give me what I deserve!"

"That's exactly what we're doing," the Hatter smirked. He threw his hands behind his back and held his head on high as he looked down at the vile vermin he called the Knave. "You should have seen this coming, dear Jacoby; I only take tea with my friends. A scoundrel like you would no doubt turn his back on me at the first opportunity; look how easily I turned you against the Queen! As soon as you would be King, I'd be dead."

The Hatter suddenly lunged forward, grabbing the Knave and leaning in close.

"I may be mad," he snarled, "But, unlike you, I am NOT stupid."

"...You...you told me I'd be the highest head-"

"In Wonderland? You will be. I keep my promises."

He stood up again, straightening the lapels of his waistcoat as he looked at the Rastons.

"Take the Knave to the dungeon; throw him in any empty cell across from the King and Queen that you care to. Let him be alone, cold, and uncared for. There he shall await execution..."

He grinned nastily at the Knave.

"I shall impale your head on a pike," he giggled. "And place it on the towers. No one's head is higher than that."

The Knave growled in response.

The Hatter laughed uproariously.

"Take him away!" he cackled.

As the Cards dragged the Knave of Hearts away, the Hatter pulled out the King's crown from a pocket in his coat, and removed his hat so that he may decorate his signature headgear with his newly acquired royal trinket.

"WE SEALED IT IN BLOOD!" the Knave roared.

"Next time get it in real writing!" snapped the Hatter, and placed the hooped crown around his hatband, then placed the hat back on his head. "Long live the King of Wonderland: Me."

"LONG LIVE THE KING!" crowed the March Hare.

Gales of wild laughter haunted the Knave, just before the Rastons vanished from the throne room, with their latest captive in tow.