Disclaimer: RWBY belongs to the amazing Monty Oum and Roosterteeth, not me.

The sun shone through the windows, bathing the dorm of team RWBY in its dazzling glow. The first up, of course, was Ruby, bounding over to the fridge, a smile on her face and a gnosh in her heart. Her dreams had been filled with images of her latest confectionary conquest; a box of marshmallow-peanut butter cookies she had procured in a shop near the school. Her mouth already watering, she whisked open the fridge, only to scream in terror.

Yang leapt from her bed, fists raised in a combat stance. "What happened? Are we under attack!?"

"Did Yang have the squirrel dream again?" grumbled Blake as she woke, Yang tossing a pillow down at the brunette.

Weiss, however, merely groaned and rolled over in her bed, mumbling about 'muzzles' and 'noisy girlfriends'.

"Worse!" bawled Ruby, falling to her knees dramatically. She must have activated her semblance, as a flurry of rose petals swirled around her form. "Someone…someone stole my cookies!"

An awkward silence followed.

"Is that all?" spoke up Blake, resisting the urge to grin.

Ruby whirled around to face the Faunus. "'Is that all!?' I've been robbed! And it's not just the cookie; my ice cream, my chocolate sauce, my fruit snacks—"

"You keep fruit snacks in the fridge?" quizzed Blake, raising an eyebrow.

"They taste better cold and they're chewier! And they're all gone!"

"Because I got rid of them."

Three pairs of eyes turned to the sullen, white-haired girl that had risen from her slumber. Weiss gazed around the room, eyes still half-lidded with fatigue and her perpetual frown, which was all the more intense from the commotion.

"You…" squeaked Ruby, her eyes starting to mist over. "You what?"

"Not cool, Ice Princess." admonished Yang, though inside she was laughing her head off at the situation. Blake, however, waited, eager to see where this was going.

With a sigh, Weiss reached beneath her bed, pulling out a small pink book. Producing her red and white-stripped reading glasses, she flipping through the book until she landed on the page she desired.

"Last week, you had four slices of sugar cake a plate of graham crackers. And that was just for lunch. For dinner, you ate a bag and a half of gummi worms. The day before that, two dozen powdered donuts. The day before that, a drum, an actual oil drum of caramel corn."

Ruby balked at Weiss as color rose in her cheeks. "Y-You've been keeping tabs on me!?"

"Your nutrition, Ruby, or lack thereof." Weiss replied, and the girls could feel the the beginnings of a lecture. "All these sweets aren't good for you. You're a growing girl, and you need to seriously change your diet or you'll get cavities. Or diabetes. Or worse."

"What's worse than diabetes!?" exclaimed Ruby.

"I'm not sure, but if you keep eating the way you do, we won't have to wonder anymore. That's why, from today on, you…"

"Oh, no." whispered the redhead.

"…are going on…"

"…Don't say it…"

"…a diet."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" cried Ruby, falling onto her back, pounding her fists and legs as she threw a world-class tantrum.

Weiss sighed and covered her face with a hand. "Oh, act your age, Ruby. It's only temporary, until your eating habits become more stable."

"Why aren't you putting Yang on a diet?" snapped Ruby, sitting up. "She eats worse than I do!"

Weiss ticked off her fingers. "A) Yang doesn't eat nearly as many sweets as you do. B) I'm sure Blake has Yang under control. And C) I'm not screwing Yang. She can ruin her health and body all she wants, it doesn't matter to me."

"Hey!"

"But you, missy," Weiss declared, walking over to Ruby and pulling her to her feet. "Are going to change your ways and eat right if it kills me."

"Or her." muttered Yang under her breath.

"This sucks." pouted the redhead.

"Trust me, Ruby." smiled the fencer, putting an arm around the redhead. "Once this diet is over, you'll thank me. These six weeks will fly by like nothing."

"SIX WEEKS!"

"You just bought yourself another week, Miss Sugar Skirt."

"But—"

"Want me to add a month?"

Ruby paused in her objections, sighing and slumping her shoulders. "No…"

"Good. Now, let's go; breakfast in twenty."

As Ruby groaned and shuffled off to the bathroom, Yang and Blake both gave Weiss odd looks. "What?"

"Nothing." Blake said, though her tone of voice suggested different. "It's just…I don't think I've ever seen you worry so much about Ruby's well-being."

Weiss scoffed. "She's my girlfriend; why wouldn't I worry?"

"Aw, the two of you are almost like you're married…" cooed Yang, grinning ear to ear.

"Shut up."

whack! "Ow!" yelped Ruby, retracting her hand from the slice of carrot cake she'd been reaching for.

"Are your ears filled with pudding, Ruby?" chastised Weiss. "Not half an hour ago I told you you're going on a diet."

"I thought you were kidding!" whimpered the redhead, rubbing her hand.

"Why? Why in Vytal would you think that?"

"Because you have such a wonderful sense of humor?"

"Hush. I already have a perfect breakfast set up for you."

Ruby felt her heart plummet as Weiss went about the breakfast bar, piling up her plate with things that the redhead had constantly avoided since coming to Beacon; bananas, whole grain bagels, cream cheese, soy milk, and grapes.

"If this is a joke," said Ruby as they sat down to eat. "This isn't funny. It's almost sick."

"I find it hilarious you talk about 'sick' when I had to be the one to talk you down from a stroke after you guzzled nine liters of soda in one sitting." replied Weiss flatly. "Now, eat. A healthy breakfast is always a good way to start the day, and you won't crash or get that 2:30 feeling from all your fatty snacks."

Resigned, Ruby awkwardly peeled a banana, distastefully eyeing the fruit. Looking at Weiss, who nodded encouragingly, she took a bite, gagging and immediately spitting it out.

"Remind me why we're dating again?" asked Ruby as she wiped her mouth and drowned the taste of the banana with the soy milk.

"Because you love how I take care of you and because the sex is amazing." was Weiss's spot-on reply.

Blushing madly, Ruby munched on one of the the bagels, ignoring the snickers from the rest of the table.

"Kill me."

"No."

"Pretty please?"

"No, Ruby. If I were to lay so much as a finger on you, Weiss would skin me alive and roll me in salt."

Ruby blinked. "That was…oddly specific."

Blake chuckled as she turned a page. "Weiss is a specific person."

Ruby groaned and fell to the floor, clutching her stomach. It had been barely a week since Weiss forced Ruby onto the 'no-sweets' diet". The first few days had been painful. She woke up irritable, went to sleep hungry (the health food was barely sustaining her), and with each passing day felt like her soul was being ripped out. And there was still a month and a half to go.

"Help me, Blake. I'm going into sugar withdrawal."

"There's no such thing."

"Is so! It happens whenever someone goes without snacks for a long time." Ruby pulled herself up to the brunette's desk, resting her chin on the edge. "Feed me sweets, please…"

"You know I can't."

"But who'll know? Weiss and Yang aren't here. It's just us. No one's gotta know."

"But you'll know, Ruby." said Blake, turning another page. "You'll know, and I don't think you'll be able to handle the guilt of having betrayed all of Weiss's love, care, and hard work."

Ruby blinked before slumping onto the floor again with a resigned sigh. "How do you do that, Blake?"

The Faunus smiled as she finished her book. "I AM dating your sister."

"And if you'll closely here at these charts…has anyone seen my coffee?"

Blake immediately turned to Ruby, who discreetly lowered Oobleck's stolen coffee cup to the ground under the Faunus' reprimanding gaze. She had been so close tinjustice the tiniest of sips, when she recoiled in disgust. Black, no cream or sugar. She might as well have tried drinking street tar.

She couldn't take it anymore. Ruby was losing her mind. The loss of sugar from her diet was taking its toll on the poor girl's psyche. Everywhere she went she saw thing that reminded her of her precious sweets. She saw jujubes in Pyrrha's eyes, bubble gum in Lie Ren's streak, and even cacao in Blake's Gambol Shroud. And the health food that Weiss insisted on shoveling down her throat made it so much worse.

Ruby stared wistfully out the window of the dorm, her silver eyes half-lidded, glazed with the memories of sweets gone by. So wrapped was she in her turmoil, she barely heard the door open.

"Hey, Ruby." came Yang's voice. "Can't stay long; I'm helping Jaune later in the arena…are you okay?"

There was no response.

"Hello?" asked Yang, walking over to her sister. "Ruby, you okay over there?"

Again, no response.

"What's the matter? Being sugar-free got your WHAT THE DUST IS WRONG WITH YOU!?"

Ignoring the redheaded girl's irate hissing, Yang held her sister against the wall, plucked the cigarette from her mouth, and hurled it out the window.

"You…suck." growled Ruby, looking more cute than threatening. "That was the last one in the pack. And at least I wasn't having sugar."

"Smoking, Ruby? Seriously?" Yang bonked her sister on the head, making the scythe-wielder yelp. "Have you lost your mind?"

"No, I LOST MY CIGARETTE!" Ruby moved to leap out the window, Yang grabbing the scruff of the sister's neck, the sugar-deprived girl running in place.

"Ruby…you've lost it."

"Don't you judge me. You…you…sycophant."

Yang's eyebrows rose.

"I started reading the dictionary to take my mind off the fact I'm SUGAR-DEPRIVED."

Yang sighed, taking Ruby over to Blake's bed, setting her down. "Ruby…you need help."

Ruby groaned, falling onto the bed. "I know, but I can't do anything about it."

"Well, that's not entirely true."

Ruby rose from the bed, giving her sister a curious look. "Explain."

"If Weiss deprived you of something you love," smirked the blonde. "Why not deprive her of something she loves?"

It took a good few minutes for the message to sink in, and Ruby's face turned as red as her cloak. "Yang, you're evil."

"Sticks and stones, little sis. Have fun." Winking at Ruby, the blonde left, leaving Ruby alone to formulate her plan.

"Congratulations, Ruby." smiled Weiss, looking over the redhead's health chart. "A whole two weeks without sweets. You're on your way."

"Hooray." Ruby replied glumly, twirling her finger.

"Oh, I don't think you'll be so morose when I present you with your reward." Grinning seductively, the heiress snaked her arm around Ruby's waist, leaning in for a kiss…

Only to be met with the palm of Ruby's hand gently pushing her away. This was a whole new level of shock for the fencer. Never before had the scythe-wielder refused her advances. "Something wrong?"

"It's just…I'm not really in the mood." replied the fifteen-year old, using every ounce of self-control she had not to laugh at how the tables turned.

Weiss had to resist the urge to scoff. 'Not in the mood?' Most days she had to fend off Ruby with a stick, and sometimes her weapon. A Ruby not in the mood was like a suave Jaune or a bubbly Lie Ren.

"Is this some new 'Ruby tactic' of playing hard to get?" quizzed the heiress.

Ruby shook her head. "It's more of a…performance issue. I just don't have the energy for…stuff…without sugar."

Weiss blanched. "Say again?"

"Well, how do you think I last so long?"

The heiress blinked. She honestly hadn't given it much thought. Though it DID explain why she always kept gummi bears in arm's reach. "So…I all but throw myself at you…and you refuse…because you're down sugar."

"Them's the breaks." shrugged Ruby, yawning and making her way to the shower. "I'm gonna get ready for bed. Maybe next week, if I'm up to it."

Weiss clucked her tongue and nodded, making a decision.

The next morning…

"Wake up."

With a shriek, Ruby all but leapt from her bed, arms flailing wildly. "THE RABBIT HAS MY FLAG!" The last few vestiges of sleep fading, she pulled up her mask, coming face-to-face with a frowning Weiss.

"Oh…morning, Weiss." chuckled the redhead nervously.

"Look outside." commanded the ice princess, all but shoving Ruby. The scythe-wielder strode to the window and nearly had a heart attack at what she saw.

An army of trucks was in the plaza, each bearing the name of a famous bakery, candy shoppe, or pastry shop Ruby had often talked about with her teammates. Drivers began hopping out of the trucks, opening the doors, and allowing the contents to spill out; cakes, cookies, candies, sweets of any and all kinds cascaded across the plaza, their wrappings shining like diamonds in the early morning sun.

"Oh, sweet Dust." whispered Ruby, whirling around to face her girlfriend. Weiss gave the girl a devious smirk, before jabbing a finger at the surprised redhead, saying three words only.

"Clothes. Off. Now."

END