An Anthology of Wizard Wheezes!

(Funny Tales from the Magical World!)

False Advertising?

"Come on guys," said Ron enthusiastically as he hurriedly made his way along Diagon Alley. "I want to see what new pranks the twins have cooked up."

"Alright Ron," replied Hermione. "We're coming."

In his eagerness to get to the shop, Ron didn't even notice the fact that Hermione currently had her left arm linked with Harry's right one while his left was linked with Luna's right arm. Usually such a sight would send him into jealousy mode, but today his mind was elsewhere.

Further testament to that was the fact that he hadn't yet complained once about Ginny holding hands with Neville.

"There it is!" said Ron, excitedly as the brightly coloured storefront of Weasleys Wizard Wheezes came into view. As usual there was a massive crowd of kids waiting to get in.

"Ron," said Neville from his position at the back of the group. "It seems very busy. Let's just go in the shop next door and let the queue go down."

"Yeah," agreed Ginny as she pointed to the window of the next shop over. "Look, it's a cafe, and the sign in the window says it's just opened. We can all have something to eat and wait for some of the crowd to disperse."

Ron's eagerness to see Fred and George's new pranks warred with the promise of food for a few moments but in the end his stomach won out and they all piled into the little café.

Inside there were maybe a dozen small tables spread out around a room with no more than four chairs each. There were a handful of people sitting down drinking cups of tea or coffee and enjoying a nice cake or two. They looked like they were parents taking a break while their children investigated the delights of the joke shop next door.

Harry and Neville shoved two tables together and began rearranging the chairs while the girls checked out the blackboards behind the counter where the various menus were written in while chalk. There were various hot and cold drinks, cakes, sandwiches and even a range of options for a full-day breakfast.

Ron looked around impatiently, but there didn't seem to be anyone actually working in the café.

Between them the girls decided what they were each going to have before asking Harry and Neville what they wanted.

Time ticked on and Ron was getting slowly more and more irritated. Not only was there a noticeable absence of staff, he had also noticed Harry, Hermione and Luna looking entirely too cosy with each other while Neville and Ginny were engaged in a whispered conversation with their heads entirely too close together for Ron's liking.

After what felt like an hour to Ron, but was in fact barely more than three minutes, someone came out of a back room and stood behind the counter.

Ron's jaw dropped. "Fred?"

"Oh, hey Ron," said one of the twins, looking up and spotting his younger brother. He looked over at the rest of the group "Alright you lot?"

"You work here?" demanded Ron before any of the others got a chance to reply.

""Yes," replied Fred. "But then, George and I do own the place."

"How come?" asked Neville.

"Well, the joke shop was doing so well that we decided to branch out," explained Fred. "At first we looked into opening another Wheezes shop in Hogsmeade but that didn't seem to financially viable so instead we opened up a café. Well, we did it for mum really. She doesn't have much to do these days since most of us have moved out, so now she baked cakes and bread and we sell it here and give her some of the profit."

"That's nice," said Luna.

"Yeah," agreed Fred. "Keeps mum happy, anyway. So, what can I get for you?"

Harry, Hermione, Luna, Ginny and Neville each rattled off what they wanted and Fred wrote it all down.

Ron, meanwhile was looking up at the sandwich menu with a frown on his face. Rather than list the various kinds of sandwiches on offer, the menu simply read:

Weasley Sandwiches:

Name the filling you desire,

Any filling at all,

And we'll stick it between some bread,

At no extra cost at all!

The idea of the twins opening up another successful business had caused a spike of jealousy within Ron for a moment, but looking at that menu caused a smile to appear on his face.

"I'll catch these gits out," he thought a little spitefully while Fred noted down Neville's order.

"And for you, Ron?" asked Fred.

Fighting to keep a triumphant grin off of his face Ron replied "I'll have the Centaur's Foreskin Sandwich, please."

His five friends turned to look at him with disgusted expressions on their faces while Fred looked a little uncomfortable.

"Ah," he said. "Well, we can't exactly serve that right now…"

"Aha!" said Ron, triumphantly. "See? You're lying to the public! That menu there says that you'll make sandwiches with anything I want, but you won't make one with Centaur's foreskin!"

"I am well aware of what the menu says," retorted Fred. "Unfortunately, we've run out of bread!"

Ron balked while his friends laughed at his expression.

A/N: So this collection got updated. To be honest, I'm as surprised as you are!