Well, we have come to it! The epilogue and the final chapter! Normally I would have waited a while to wrap things up, but my schedule just got busy again, so I'll have far less time to write. However, a sequel will be published eventually (more of a companion, really), and will be titled something along the lines of "Galadriel's Field Guide to Mary Sues." Maybe not that exactly, but close. I'll really miss all these crazy characters. I'm sorry to say Tauriel and Eowyn won't have major parts in the sequel (although perhaps a cameo or something) but maybe I'll do a one-shot on them later. No promises. However, I did promise that Faramir and Faramir would make an appearance, and indeed they will there.

Disclaimer: I still don't own any of these characters. Except Lord Plotfiller, but he's not really himself anyway, if that makes sense. But even my chapter title is ripped off from Harry Potter and Doctor Who- there's a funny thing. The chapter where David Tennant's character dies in Harry Potter has the same title as the episode of Doctor Who where he first appears. The Fourth Wall is truly in shambles now.

The double wedding of Aragorn and Legolas, and Eowyn and Tauriel was held on a midsummer's eve, for cliché's sake, and was a rather odd affair from the start. For a while, Gondor was slightly confused as to who was marrying who until the couples became clear. The attendance consisted of an interdimensional guest list including but not limited to all members of the GCWFHB, Galadriel and robot-Celeborn of Lothlorien, Arwen and politician!Aragorn, Haldir, Elrond, Lord Algethor Plotfiller, and Jenny Shepherd.

But the party was bittersweet, for everyone had to go their separate ways eventually, now that the war had ended.

Haldir and Spalko retreated to Lothlorien, and Lady Galadriel was more than pleased to accommodate them. She needed Spalko's help rounding up and questioning Sues, and who better than an ex-KGB commander to sort out the files and oversee interrogations? It was as close to compromise as Spalko was willing to go when it came down to the limits of her pregnancy. She couldn't fic-jump for a time, so she took up residence in a place where she knew there would be Sue prisoners to take out her temper on when she got sick of not being able to leave Middle Earth.

Which ultimately worked quite well for Haldir, too, because if Spalko was arguing with someone else's OC, she wasn't bickering with him.

Needless to say, their relationship improved a bit, even though they refused to marry on the principle that "action heroes don't get married. They fall in love, but they never get married."

Jenny and Gibbs did a bit of bouncing around. They settled down in an Avengers slash-fic, but that turned sour when Gibbs became Tony Stark's love intrest. They jumped again and almost landed jobs as Hogwarts professors, but their lack of knowledge when it came to the magic got them fired before they started. After all, the only things they knew about the wizarding world had come from Tony Dinozzo years before.

Tauriel could recall one night when they fic-jumped into her and Eowyn's temporary honeymoon suite at three in the morning and found the newlyweds in a rather compromising position, but she chalked that up to karma from the incident at Helm's Deep. Either way, they had barely escaped a madhouse in the world of Oz the Great and Powerful, and the Elf and the shieldmaiden were at least fully (mostly) clothed. A couple of the banished Sues had recognized the NCIS characters from interrogation, and a mob had started. Their only option had been to fic-jump to the first place they found.

Jadis the White Witch, who had little more than a cameo in this story but who deserved an ending of her own, started the FPSA- the Foundation of Poorly Shipped Antagonists, a fan fiction revision committee that helped cure antagonists' psychological problems due to being shipped with people they never wanted to snog in the first place.

Elladan and Elrohir ran a group of lobbyists against Jadis, because they felt that as protagonists (despite barely having a part in Tolkien's canon) they were terribly underrepresented in the FPSA.

Jadis promptly told them to go and start their own organization.

Which they did, courtesy of their sister Arwen Undomiel.

Arwen, as it turned out, was quite a fair politician. She certainly wasn't above manipulating the variables, as well as her opponents, but unlike most politicians of the modern era, she actually cared about the issues involved. She was quickly elected with politician!Aragorn as the president of Mordor. She transformed Barad-dur into a museum of Sauron's relics, lifting the dark magic with help from surviving orcs searching for better wages.

Mordor had already started looking better. She lived in one of the nicer areas, improving the employment rates, the economy, and the overall quality of life for residents.

Not to mention that she had offered Gibbs and Jenny the position as co-heads of the MBI (Mordor Bureau of Investigation) and given them their own fleet of Fell Beasts and an Orc Police Headquarters to run. They didn't even have to deal with SecNav.

Galadriel, well, she had a mess to clean up. She'd accidentally freed Mary Sues of all species into Middle Earth, and when they caught one, more came. It was a disaster, but the constant need for interrogation chambers and locating hostiles kept Spalko busy until she could return as head of the GCWFHB, so it wasn't all a loss. Not to mention Galadriel's mistake made a great opportunity for a sequel or companion, which kept The Plot busy. And much as they would deny it, The Plot was more dangerous than Spalko and Galadriel combined.

Faramir and Faramir were quite happy, as far as anyone could tell. Movie Faramir had begun to call himself Filmamir, and Book Faramir had started going by Hacha Bain, which in crass terms, meant "Nice Arse." Except the only person who called him that was himself. Not even Filmamir took to it. Filmamir just started calling him Tolkienmir after the late Professor Tolkien himself, who's canon Tolkienmir technically belonged to.

Lord Plotfiller continued playing Boromir in future fanfics, although he took an occasional spot as Kili, just so he could flirt with the plot-filling replacement Mirkwood had gotten for Tauriel in Kiliel fics.

The Fourth Wall was still shattered, and would remain to be in such a state for all eternity as long fan fictions existed. Which wasn't exactly a bad thing by any means.

As for Tauriel and Eowyn… Tauriel shall touch on that happy ending herself.

"You think they'll let us into S.H.I.E.L.D. if we beg?" asked Eowyn, surfing fan fiction archives.

Tauriel shrugged over her own laptop screen. "I bet they would let Spalko in."

"Yeah but don't bring that up in front of her right now or she'll rip your head off."

"That's why we're here," said Eowyn with a snort of laughter. "And speaking of Colonel Spalko, didn't you promise her you'd take over the GCWFHB while she's in Lothlorien?"

"She'll be breathing down my neck the whole time anyway. You know she can't stop herself from getting involved in conflicts when conflicts arise."

Eowyn closed her laptop with a sigh. "I think that's why she chose Lothlorien, under the pretense of taking it easy during her pregnancy."

"Because we both know she wouldn't do something like that willingly unless she had ulterior motives."

"Sorting out her canon with Caras Galadhon's technology to figure out what's real and what isn't, interrogating captured Mary Sues, going through the files of the escaped ones... It's like a spy's dream come true. Not to mention if anyone could get those Sues to talk, it's Spalko." Eowyn shivered. "I certainly wouldn't want to be interrogated by a hormonal Sue-slayer with a fondness for deadly weapons."

"That's why we're getting out of here while we can. We go on our honeymoon, and there won't be a problem."

"Speaking of our honeymoon, we're still in this modern AU world renting a penthouse on Peter Jackson's compensation for your trouble."

Tauriel shot her wife a grin. "Funny what a little bit of blackmail can do. I doubt he would want word getting out that the token female in his latest film made off with the shieldmaiden because she got struck a shitty deal on her role in the story. I mean, who wants to be a Smurfette principle love interest anyway?"

"Well we're fic-jumping. Chances are we'll catch the last movie in theaters, and maybe your counterpart will actually do something interesting."

"I doubt that," said Tauriel bitterly, her smile turning to a grimace. "But perhaps I'm wrong, and she will be something more than a token action female."

"You're always more than that."

"Don't get sappy on me, Eowyn. We still have to talk about our honeymoon plans."

"I was thinking Marvel, but before we go into that we might want more experience with the fics in that fandom. We might both turn into love interests by mistake. Perhaps a crime drama? I'm sure Gibbs's old universe could use a couple of OCs."

"Hmmm," muttered Tauriel, typing away on her laptop. "What about another Middle Earth fic? After the honeymoon, of course. We could settle down in some obscure 4th Age fic that never touches on you and Faramir, so we wouldn't have to deal with that sub-plot. Or we could just keep on living the same adventures in different ways."

"I like that plan," Eowyn agreed, considering their options, "but for our honeymoon, what do you say Hawaii Five-0? Guns, car chases, tropical weather, plus with the rest of ol' PJ's compensation money, we could snag a pretty good house while we're on there. And then maybe when we're finished we take on Marvel."

"My dear crazy shieldmaiden, I love the way you think."

"Why thank you, my equally crazy Elven lover." Eowyn squinted as Tauriel's eyes returned to her laptop, which had been returned to her upon the conclusion of her adventure. "By the way, what are you writing?"

And that's it! Thanks so much to everyone who has reviewed, followed, or favorited. I shall list all of you right down here in no particular order. Also, the Hacha Bain thing I owe to annafan for a very funny pick-up line used by a delirious Faramir upon his awakening in the Houses of Healing.

Great thanks to:

Yuki Suou, M . ara . gorn, sian22, annafan, Borys68, LathielStormblade, Elleth of Hidden Lore, Queen Zenyatta, Molly Rob, hello anon here (guest), Sternenkind1750, LexxHiddleston, Tatharwen315, Cheez Socks, JuliaJekyll, Eve Lunatique, Wingdings, guest, amazonefighter, fantasychica37, Alysin Rae, Ally the Aessir Princess, Artimisia Blake, DepthsofmySubconsciousness, Eira Loyd, HazelGusTrisFourLenaAlex, LelandraXtheXMage, Misty-Nala, Nonahira, Noodille, Oliver Haddo, Pannthour, Scylla's Revenge, Starship T.A.R.D.I.S., Swallow-tailed Kite, The Cajun Phoenix, TheMidnightPoet, Wild Concerto, WindiosSiesta, Wisteria666, .cool.14, deelzy, drwatsonn, Magicwinter

Thank you so much everybody, and I promise a companion thingy of sorts sometime in the hopefully not-too-far future!

-Valkyrie