A/N: I'm not sure how, but somehow this became a written version of parts of episode 22. If you don't want to re-experience that in (mediocre) writing, I suggest you click the back button. Also, this took forever. Not sure why, but it probably was because I couldn't get Levi characterized right. (Poisoned Scarlet's Immaculate does it beautifully). The ending also might be a bit abrupt. Critique welcome, especially on characterization and general wrap-up. Spoilers for episode 21 and 22. Implied Rivetra
FAIRY TAIL ENDING READERS: Ice is still busy fighting off textbooks and ferocious, fire-breathing teachers and tests. Please be patient as Ice deals with real life.
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No one is watching when he kneels down beside the rows of the dead, but he keeps his face impassive as he parts aside the brown shroud and cuts off the black and white wings of freedom. He remembers someone explaining it to him, long ago – white for the hope humanity hoped to achieve, and black for the darkness – the fear – that would need to be faced to reach that goal.
They forgot about red, he thinks bitterly, for the hundredth time.
Red, the blood of dead soldiers. It's another reality he has to deal with, again, and he tells himself that this is war, people die, and they knew what they signed up for when they agreed to join, that they would be facing dangers they never had before,and that assuming people would come back alive was the biggest mistake he himself could have ever made -
They are dead, and the world is cruel, and there is nothing he can do to change that fact.
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He is trying very hard not to think about his team when he hears the shout. He turns around, and he sees: two titans, two horses, soldiers – and a limp body. He fists his fingers against the scrap of cloth wedged in between them, and thinks,
Not again.
There is a scream as the body slips off the back of the horse after a sharp turn. Even from his place in the formation, Levi can see the whites of Deitor's eyes as he screams, desperate, helplessly watching as Ivan's body is crushed beneath the Titan's thundering feet.
Gone.
Just like that.
Levi is unable to do anything but curse the world and watch as others jump into the fray in an attempt to rescue Dietor from the advancing Titans.
It is no use. The Titans continue, unperturbed, and Levi knows there is no escape here. Not in this vast plain of nothingness. He curses his injured leg and continues to ride.
At Erwin's command, the horde of horses and men start sprinting towards the wall. From the corner of his eye, he sees Mikasa take out one of the Titans, saving Dietor from its grasp. The brief relief he feels is sudden, constricting – before he kills it, throwing its dead carcass into the back of his mind. He thinks of Mikasa's skill, instead. She is strong. If she lived long enough, she could easily become an important asset to the cause. She would be able to join the ranks of elite -
He stops.
There isn't a group of elite to join anymore.
He is the only one left.
"Captain! They're gaining on us!" The scream comes from the shroud-filled wagons. He turns toward the sound, and sees the blatant fear in their eyes, the hysteria in their voices, the way their arms dangle uselessly beside them in the face of horror.
And then he steels himself.
"Abandon the bodies." He has to swallow past the lump in his throat before continuing: "In the past, many bodies haven't made it back. These guys...are nothing special."
"Captain..."
"Do it."
Their faces are tortured, but they follow their orders. He forces himself to watch, forces himself to see the repercussions. He watches the bodies fall, one by one, making sickening crunches as they land.
The third one they pick up is her.
He can't breathe.
He watches as she tumbles through the air, graceless, auburn hair escaping the folds of the cloth as her pale face spins and disappears, a hopeless victim to gravity as she does not respond, does not shoot out her grappling hooks, does not even make a sound before she crashes to the ground and is overrun.
Part of him is screaming.
His lips do not utter a sound.
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They ride for another full hour.
He does not let go of the stitched insignia in his hand.
But his duty is not over yet.
The world is not done taking from him.
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When they finally stop, he dismounts clumsily, trying not to jar his injured leg. No one is watching – they are too busy mourning the loss of the bodies.
The bodies he left behind.
He finds Dietor standing to the side. The young man looks at him, his gaze more lost and grieved than before. It is the look of a wretched man.
Levi's voice is steady, but his hands are filled with lead as he unfolds the insignia of the Scouting Legion and hands it to Dietor.
"This proves that they were alive. To me, at least." He pauses, the lie slipping from his throat:
"This was Ivan's."
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Dietor is weeping.
It is already too late to take it back, even though every part of Levi is screaming to snatch it back and ride off before the questions can come. But he stops himself. Dietor needs it more than he does. Dietor needs something to hold onto, something to give to his friend's mother when they get back. He needs something to take solace in, even if it is a lie. But he can afford that. Levi can't.
The steps away have never felt so difficult to take. But he takes them, dragging himself back onto the horse. The horse trots away.
Now he has nothing left to hold onto.
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"Look! It's the Scouting Legion!"
"...There! There he is, at the front – humanity's greatest solider!"
"Captain Levi!"
"I don't know what we'd do without him."
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Contrary to popular belief, Levi is not captain because of his skill with the 3D Maneuver Gear. Neither is his rank a reflection of his strength of will or force of presence. Nor is he captain because of his strategic intellect.
Levi is captain because he will sacrifice everything for the cause.
He is captain because he gives the orders no one else will.
Petra is not an exception to this rule.
She simply can't be.