AN: Based off of a headcannon I read this story just fell into place in my mind. The story takes place in at the start of the Briggs arc and will for the most part fallow the story line, though I will be taking some liberties with what happens and yes the will be some out of character reactions. Also within the story Ed is 18 making Al 17 and Winry 18. (Redone)

Ed sat at on the edge of the bed staring at the wall not sure where to go with now in the journey to bring his brother body back to its original form. He knew that the philosopher's stone was no longer part of the equation with the fact that he refused to take the life of another human being. No, that was not it, he would take the life of another just to save his brother, but Ed knew that his brother would not be able to bare it if he that it took the lives of so many people. "Man this is messed up." Ed muttered looking over to his brother who looked at him when he spoke.

"Brother?" Al questioned watching his brother get up. "Where are you going?"

Al began to stand so that he could join his brother only to be stilled by a wave of the older brother's hand. "I'm just going to go out for a walk; I need to clear my head. I'll be fine, and you know it."

"Okay brother," Al mutters not curtain that he should let Ed go out on his own, but he knew better then to argue with his stubborn brother. "Be safe."

"Yeah, yeah." He says with the door slamming back behind him.

Ed knew that he should not be lying to his brother but, his hands had started to get very shaky and he needed something to calm his frazzled nerves. When he stepped out into the cold snowy night and pulled the damned pack out of his pocket along with the lighter and lit the cigarette taking a long draw from it. With the chemicals in his body he already felt slightly calmer, and his hands had stopped shaking as bad as they were before. He had begun to rely on the damned things more then he wanted to, but it was true what they said, that the things we addicting. When he let out the breath his brothers words came back to him, "Mr. Havoc, you know those things will kill you so why do you still choose to use them." He knew that if Al found out that he smoked he would kill him. He laughed Winry would to, but he honestly did not really want to quit, they helped him keep his nerve in check.

He took another drag from the thing when he heard someone come up behind him. "Ed?"

Well speak of the devil. "Hey Winry!" Ed jumped dropping the cigarette snuffing it out before she could see. "What are you doing out in the cold, I thought you would be in the buildings."

"Oh, you weren't in the room with your brother so I thought that I would go out and find you for him, so that he wouldn't fall into the snow." She comes over looking at the ground where Ed had his foot over the end of his cigarette. "What are you doing out here anyway."

"I had to get some fresh air the room was getting to stuffy for me," Ed mutters pulling her away from where he was just standing and toward the door leading up to the room. He didn't notice that she looked back and could smell the smoke that was wafting from him. He pulled her threw the doors, "Al and I are staying up here your welcome to join us, I sure Al would be happy to see you."

When they got to the door Winry stopped Ed, "Does Al know?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You know exactly what I mean Ed, so how long have you been smoking?" Winry asked placing a hand on Ed shoulder.

"Winry…" Ed started then looked away, he didn't know what to say, should he lie or tell the truth. No she would kill him if he told her exactly how long, but he didn't want to lie to her. "Honestly about 6 years now."

"Ed!" Winry looked shocked at first then her eyes filled with worry. "Why?"

"I don't know, not really, I just tried and it calmed my nerves, look either way don't tell Al, I don't want him to worry." Ed said looking back at her, her blue eyes shining with worry. "Look Winry, you have no idea what I have seen, and I-I-I needed something, I hadn't meant to get addicted but I-I am now and I don't want to stop, not until everything is back to normal."

"Ed those things will kill you and you know it, please you have to stop!" Winry yelled grabbing Ed's shoulder.

"Winry keep your voice down!" Ed warned, "I told you that I don't want Al to know, so please keep this between us."

"No Ed," She yelled, "Why should I help you with something that could kill you. Alphonse get out here!"

"Yes?" Al questioned looking between his friend and his brother both looking tense as though they had been fighting. "You know you to should try not to fight; it's not good for friends." He laughed trying to lighten the mood a bit.

"Winry please?" Ed begged slightly, when he saw his brother come out of the room; he had been trying to hide this because he knew he would get beaten as well as yelled at by his brother exceptionally since he had been hiding it for so long.

"Brother?" Al spoke, he had never seen his brother beg anybody let alone Winry; he was normally too proud to do something like that. "Okay what's going on, Winry you look mad and brother you look tense."

"Ed I told you I will not let you get away with this habit." Winry looked at Ed though his face seemed calm even she could tell that Ed was nervous, and she really didn't want to hurt him, but Wriny also knew that Ed shouldn't hide things like this from his brother. "Al Ed's been," She paused not sure how to say it.

Ed sighed and looked away hiding his face under his bangs. Ed felt his heart began to race with a steady thump, thump and his head shook slightly. "If you're going to say anything just say it and get it over with if not then shut up and mind your own business." Ed spoke his voice cold but trembling slightly. He didn't want Al knowing anything about his habit but he knew after Winry found out he would have a hard time hiding it anymore.

Winry jumped and all took a step back. "Ed, why would you say that?" Al questioned with what could only be shock planted on his face. "What are you not telling me?"

Ed looked over to Winry and met her gaze, "Well Winry?"

"Why don't you tell him yourself Ed?"

"Why should I," Ed snapped, "I don't want anybody knowing."

"Well I know and Al should." Winry took a breath and turned to Al, "Ed, smokes."

Her sentence was met with silence that seemed to go on for hours until finally Al spoke is voice soft and full of pain, "What?" That one word, the pain in Al's voice broke Ed, he turned his back to them and watched his feet. "That's a lie; brother would never do something like that."

Ed didn't trust his voice to answer anything instead he pulled out the pack and lighter from his pocket showing it to Al. "No Al, it's not a lie. I started about the time I went to town for my State Alchemist exam. I never meant to become addicted to them, but they helped me calm down. I haven't been able to stop since." Ed's voice was soft with none of the normal fire, or defiance he had just a few moments before. This was a side that nobody but Al and Winry would see of him.

Without warning Al's fist flew up and hit Ed across the face. "You idiot, no wonder breathing is rough sometimes." He yelled taking a step forward, "You have had trouble breathing for a while and you never thought to tell me that you smoked! How many people know anyway, because I swear to god if you told anybody else I'm going to kill you?"

"Al I think you should calm down a little." Winry comments as she walked over to Ed to help him up.

"No, Winry you knew this would be his reaction when you told him, why you think I didn't want him to know." Ed snapped she brought this on them with her sticking her noise into things that were none of her business.

"Don't yell at her brother and answer my question." Al was shaking with anger. "Who else knows?"

"No one, Al I never told anybody. Hell even Mustang doesn't know." Ed said his voice still soft.

"Why would you not tell me brother?" Al's voice lost the anger and was again filled with pain that made Ed want to crawl into a hole and hide. Ed never meant to hurt anybody but he didn't want to worry his brother. It was the older brother's job to do the worrying and the younger brother's job to stay innocent and be worried about. "I could have helped you stop. I still can."

"Al, it's not that easy, I honestly don't want to stop they help too much." Ed looked at his brother and could almost see the disappointed look on his face that was mirrored in Winry's eyes. "And before you get all upset I know I should have told you, but I didn't want you to worry about me. It's not your job to worry about me, so please don't." While Ed spoke he moved to go leave again, he wanted a damned cigarette.

Al jumped and grabbed his brother's arm before he made it too far, "No way, you don't get of that easy, turn out your pockets. Now!"

Ed knew that he wasn't going to win against his brother. He never did in the past and it didn't help that Winry was standing there if Al didn't get his way Winry would help and then he would end up with a wrench to the head, so without saying anything he took out the nearly empty pack and lighter and handed it to his brother. "That's all I have, but what are you going to do with them."

"Destroy them."

Al's voice was firm and there was no changing his mind and Ed knew he should leave it well enough alone. "Al, just hold them. Please don't make me stop. I really do need them." Ed pleaded wishing he could get his brother to see.

"No brother."

"Al please, don't if you're holding them you can monitor how I may have, I can try to stop. I know that I can't stop cold turkey."

"Brother?" Al was hurt and Ed could tell but this was something Ed knew about himself he smokes too much to just stop.

"How long does a pack last you Ed?" Winry's voice shocked him, he had had honestly forgot that she was there.

"They don't last long, about a day give or take." Ed spoke clearly, no sense in hiding anything anymore.

"That's not that long Ed," Winry spoke with concern.

"I don't want pity and you should know me better than that, so stop that. I'll try and stop okay but no pity." Ed yells, it's not their job to worry about him, in fact he hated that they were. He didn't want to stop, but he was going to say anything to get them off his case.

"Okay Ed, I'm sorry," Winry mutter looking down.

"Brother doesn't yell at her that's mean." Al was stern sometimes it's hard to understand that Ed was the older one. "If a pack doesn't last you a day then," Al pauses to think he knew that cigarettes were hard to stop, or so he was told. So he didn't know how to go about helping him. "How about trying to get a pack to last you four days, that's…" Al stopped trying to figure out a number.

"There are twenty per pack five a day would last four days." Ed growls thinking glaring at his brother. "A pack has never lasted me that long, when I started it lasted me around two days."

Both of them looked at his brutal honesty, "How could you have started so quickly."

"I needed something to calm my nerves and I found something," Ed answered trying to calm himself down.

"Well then to help you stop if we can get the pack to last that long, that's five a day. Can you do that." Al asked opening up the pack and counting how many were inside. "There is only two left; have you gone through that many today?"

"Well, the day is almost over and yeah." Ed answered taking a profound interest in his shoes.

"Well then no more for today, I'll give you one in the morning, do you have any other packs on you?" Al asked moving around the room.

"In my bag, I buy quite a few. I still have five packs left." Ed answers moving to his back and unzipping the hidden by alchemy in the top of the suit case. "Here, these are the only ones I have."

Al took them from his bother and looks at Ed with concern. "Brother, if you get stressed again just talk to us, at least we won't try and kill you." Al said with a smile following Ed and Winry into the room.

"You sure about that Al, your punches hurt." Ed says with a laugh laying on the bed the Briggs solders provided for them. "But I'll try, that's the best I can do." He heard the others laughing but he was too tired and soon fell into the first deep sleep he had in a long time.

AN: Well that was longer then I thought that it would be but like I said it kinda just went poof into my head.