Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note or its characters, obviously. The first two lines of dialogue are from Episode 7 of the anime.

Inspired by some of the troubles I've had due to changing my name.

Naomi Misora.

Light Yagami suppressed a triumphant smile. The three strokes of the katakana "mi" felt like the finishing touches of a painter, or perhaps the slash of an executioner's blade. He had done it. It had been close – far too close – but he had managed to trick the astute but overly-trusting woman into revealing her real name. Somewhere in the air above him, he could hear Ryuk chuckling.

He glanced below the name at the specifications he had written a few minutes previously, when he had thought her name was Shoko Maki:

January 1, 2007, 1:25 PM. She becomes consumed by the desire to commit suicide in such a way that her body is never discovered. She carries out this plan within 48 hours.

All perfect. He felt his heartbeat, which had been racing, begin to return to its normal cadence. He looked at his watch. 20 seconds to go.

It was rather a pity, he thought; she was an attractive woman and still young, and if she had only kept from meddling in things, she might have recovered from her grief over her fiancé's death and found love again. But she was threatening to interfere with Light's plans, and anyone who challenged the God of the New World had to be eliminated.

"Why do you keep checking your watch?" he heard her ask.

3, 2, 1.

Now he could no longer suppress his grin. He savored each word: "Because…I'm Kira."

It was thrilling to watch her eyes widen, the blood drain from her face, the terror and defeat seize her as the snowflakes fell soft and silent into her dark hair. It was gorgeous, in a way.

And then she blinked at him. And then she looked confused. It was not the vacant, haunted, possessed expression he had anticipated; it was simply puzzlement. "So what does that have to do with you checking your watch?"

Damn it! It didn't work!

Light looked closely at the driver's license he had just manipulated her into presenting. He double-checked the spelling of her name. Naomi Misora. Exactly as he had written it.

Was it the manner of death? He wondered. It's only suicide – it shouldn't be a problem! Were the details I provided too vague, or physically impossible? But in that case, she simply should have died of a heart attack, like the prisoners I tested. What the hell did I do wrong?

"Hey, Light," said Ryuk. "You're awfully quiet. Are you having another interior monologue?"

"Shut up, Ryuk!" he hissed under his breath.

"Ryuk?" Naomi repeated.

Light ignored her. "What happened?" he demanded of the shinigami. "Why isn't she dead?"

Ryuk chortled again, sounding like an asthmatic rat stuck in a lawn sprinkler. "You probably shouldn't have announced you were Kira until the time was actually up. That sort of boasting can get you in trouble. Anyway, there's only one reason it wouldn't have worked."

"And that is?"

"The same reason it didn't work before."

"Damn it!" He thrust the driver's license in Naomi's face. "You gave me a fake ID!"

"No, I didn't," she said, her eyes still wide and mystified. "It's perfectly valid. Do you mean that if you just write down my name, it will kill me? Is that how you killed Raye? Is that –"

"Yes, that's how it works! So why didn't it work on you? This can't be your real name!"

Naomi's mouth opened slightly, and realization glimmered in her eyes. "Oh…"

"What?"

"This…this has to be my legal name?"

"Yes."

"Oh…"

"So this isn't it?"

She averted her eyes, a blush tinting her cheeks. "This is a little bit embarrassing. I don't often talk about it. But...well, before I met Raye…"

"What?"

"I – I was married. It only lasted 8 months. We were just children, high school sweethearts, but we thought we were in love. I changed my name to his. And...I suppose I never actually legally changed it back."

"But it's right here on your driver's license!"

"Well, yes, it's correct on there, and a few other places, but I never formally changed it on my bank statements or with the National Tax Agency. So I still file my returns under the name Naomi Takemoto."

Light breathed a sigh that was equal parts exasperation and relief. "That's it, then? Naomi Takemoto?"

"Yes. It's spelled with the characters for – "

"I know how to spell it." He wrote down Naomi Takemoto. "Like that?"

"Yes."

An extraordinarily awkward forty seconds ticked by.

3, 2, 1...

Naomi brushed a few snowflakes off her black leather sleeve. "I don't think it worked."

"No, really?" Light could feel his eyes flashing red as he turned to the shinigami. "Ryuk, just tell me what her goddamn name is!"

"You know I'm not supposed to do that, Light," said Ryuk, the ever-present grin snaking its way across his ghastly, clownish face. "It's against the rules. You could always make the eye deal."

"Screw that." Light turned back to Naomi. "What's going on? Do you have another name? Maybe a – a middle name, or something? Ryuk, would I have to include a middle name?"

Ryuk scratched his ugly head. "I don't think so. I don't think anyone here has a middle name. Some people don't even have complete first names."

"I don't have one, anyway," said Naomi. "Middle names are common in the United States, but not here." Her brow furrowed. "Oh…"

"Oh what?"

"Well, that reminds me. Let me show you my passport…" She fished around in her purse. "Here."

Light stared at the name printed on her passport. "Noami?"

"They misspelled it. Silly, right? It must have been a typo. I really should have corrected them, but I didn't have time – I had travel plans – and once I got to the United States I didn't want to go through the hassle. So I just stuck with it, and figured I'd change it officially after I married Raye. I'm known to the U.S. government as Noami Misora."

Light wrote down Noami Misora, first in katakana and then in romanji, for good measure.

Forty seconds passed. Nothing happened. It was snowing rather heavily now.

Light ground his teeth in frustration. If it weren't for the risk of being seen, he might have strangled her then and there.

"Shoot, I don't think that was it either."

"Nice deduction, Sherlock. Why'd you ever leave the FBI? Think. Are there any other names you use? That you've ever used?"

Naomi bit her lip."Well…honestly, all I can think of is that I signed my wedding invitations Naomi Penber. I was just so excited. Penber's a bit of a funny name, I'll admit, but I could certainly do worse – really, a lot worse – and I – "

"Fine. Shut it." Light wrote down Naomi Penber. He pressed the pencil lead so hard against the paper it nearly broke a hole through it.

"Hey, Light…" said Ryuk.

Light ignored him and wrote down, just in case:

Noami Penber.

Noami Takemoto.

Naomi Takemoto Misora Penber.

"Anything else?"

"Well...they sometimes called me Massacre Misora at the FBI. You could try it."

Light wrote it down, along with several variations.

"It probably won't work, but you might want to add Roxie Buttons."

What?"

"I once had a…part-time job…"

Light wrote it down.

"Hey, Light," said Ryuk.

"Anything else?"

"Well…my mother used to call me Nay-Nay. And Raye had a pet name for me, though I'd rather not say that one out loud, and I doubt it would do the trick. So no…I really can't think of anything else."

When forty seconds had passed since the last name he had written, and Naomi continued to stare at him with her puzzled, apologetic, living eyes, Light let out a scream of fury and threw his paper and pencil to the snowy ground.

"Hey, Light."

"What, Ryuk!?"

"You know you can't kill her now, right?"

"What?"

"If you misspell a person's name four times, you can no longer kill them with the Death Note."

"What the hell kind of arbitrary rule is that?"

"I don't make them."

"Light, I'm so sorry," said Naomi. "I feel like a fool. I honestly never meant to cause all this confusion with my name. It's my own fault; I really should get it all sorted out. In fact, I will – right after I go back to Police Headquarters and tell them you're Kira. Really, I'm so sorry for the confusion. Goodbye."

And Light watched her walk away.

"Why the hell did she have to have so many names?" Light seethed later, handcuffed in the back of a police car.

"Heh. Humans are interesting, aren't they?" Ryuk had managed to squeeze his lanky body into the seat next to him. "Do you think there'll be apples in prison?"

"No."

"In that case, I'd better just kill you now. It's been fun, Light." Ryuk took out his own Death Note and hesitated, pen in his clawlike hand. "Is it Light or Raito?"

THE END