Warning - mild swearing in later chapters

Alternate Reality where the Timothy arc didn't contain Allen stabbing himself, and the Kanda/Alma (And therefore everything occurring after the Alma arc is nullified) arc never happened, so Allen has never been stabbed with Innocence :D

Disclaimer for this whole book, every single bloody chapter baka:

*shy author points at Kanda*

The mute-tant does not own D. Gray-man, Baka-usagi! *charges at Lavi*

Lavi: *narrowly escapes blade with rabbit ears on his head* But she does own this fanfic right here!

Me: *dark chuckle* Who knows whether Katsura Hoshini will get her Allen back undamaged.

Tyki: Eh, the shounen?

Allen: ... What does shounen mean? I don't speak bloody Japanese.

Road: Aah! *hugs Allen protectively* Don't hurt my Allen!

Earl: *comes and drags everyone away for the play to start*

Chapter One - The Mission and a certain FABULOUS hair flip by someone who will remain Anonymous for the time being

(WARNING: If you do not like false beginnings, you can skip the following paragraph)

Allen Walker woke up one morning and pranced about like an idiot rabbit while Kanda was eating a buttload of Mitarashi Dango and Lavi ate too much Soba for his own good. And Lenalee, well, she built a robot similar to a Komulin but it was actually a Lenalin. And they all lived not so happily ever after as Road cried for Allen who died at the hand of Howard Link who was in love with Fou who was in love with Bak-dear who was infatuated with Komui who Lenalee killed anyone who got close to him. And Komui was in love with Sheryl who adored his little Road-dear who liked Tyki who was in love with the Millennium Earl, who was infatuated with the Fourteenth Noah, a.k.a. Allen Walker. And that is why Howard Link killed him. The End.

...

...

...

Actually...

This story isn't so carefree as that first paragraph, neither is it so full of pairings so I shall tell you now, there are no pairings in this dreadful book of non-yaoi/yuri (fluff is cute though :3) , so if you are looking for that, I would suggest another book.

And without further delay I shall tell you the story of Allen Walker, The Destroyer of Time, and the Noah that resides within him, Neah Walker, the Fourteenth, the Musician...

The Actual Story Begins Here:

Allen...

Allen Walker...

Allen, listen to me.

Mana needs me...

Boy...

Mana needs us...

Allen...

Allen yawned as the darkness faded slowly. Warm comfortable bed. Noises in the distances that he blatantly ignored. Warm... The darkness seeped back in, before being shoved away by a wave of sound.

"ALLEN!" Lenalee screamed in his ear, getting fed up after calling him for the sixteenth time - she counted, because for all the times she had to call him,that number was deducted from the usual amount of Mitarashi Dango he ate at breakfast. In fact, Lenalee had only invented this punishment just now, as she realized for the first time how deep Allen slept. She hadn't been the one to wake up Allen ever, it was mostly Lavi, or Krory if the former was out on a mission or occupied with Bookman duties.

Allen jerked upwards quite suddenly in his bed at the disturbance and his head collided with Lenalee's golem that had fluttered unwisely right above him. Evidently, it was now in need of repairing as it lay in a heap of plastic on his bed.

"I'm so sorry, Lenalee, I didn't know your golem was there!" The apology rolled off Allen's tongue automatically in a hurried frenzy.

Lenalee chuckled softly, "It's alright, Allen, it's just a golem. Now hurry up and get dressed, Komui is waiting to give us a mission brief after breakfast."

There was a couple of seconds of an awkward silence when neither moved.

"Uh, Allen?" she waved a hand in front of his face. "Why aren't you getting up?"

Allen mumbled something under his breath while his face started glowing pink.

"I'm sorry?"

"I'm only wearing underwear," Allen half-shouted, his cheeks almost tomato red.

"Oh. Sorry, I'll go then." Lenalee quickly fled the awkward situation and went to breakfast.

Allen sighed and got out of bed. He'd just lied to Lenalee. He wasn't actually wearing underwear... Well, it wasn't his fault, it was the peak of summer, and his pyjamas had just made him so sweaty, so he took them off. There was no shame in doing that. One of the humans' (that were ignorant of the war between Exorcists and the Earl, obviously) great inventors called Thomas Edo-something-or-other didn't sleep with pyjamas either.

As he got dressed into his daily Exorcist uniform, he consulted Timcanpy who floated about his head.

"That dream last night... It wasn't mine, was it?" he shivered involuntarily, glancing at the mirror in his bedroom. Ever since he had "played" the piano on the Ark (had that even been him playing, or the shadow moving his fingers?) , he could see an ominous shadow hovering behind his reflection at all times, with round glowing eyes and an insane pearly smile. The shadow winked at him, and he quickly diverted his gaze.

Timcanpy shook his head in confirmation, and Allen sighed again, following him out to the dining hall where Jerry was waiting for his favourite customer - not that he was payed, in money, at least. Maybe in satisfaction of seeing said customer down most of the food in the kitchen, yes.

"Oh, look, why if it isn't Allen-kun," Jerry beamed like the sun. "The usual, is it?"

Allen nodded, "Yes please."

Jerry pulled out a cart loaded with all Allen's favourite dishes. "You can come anytime you want to, Allen-kun," he said, blowing a kiss at Allen, or maybe it was aimed for his large stomach.

Allen pushed the cart enthusiastically to his regular table where Lavi, Kanda, Lenalee, Johnny, Reever, and of course the annoying Howard Link, who had just been assigned from Vatican to keep an eye on things here at the Black Order.

"Hey, Allen, Miranda says you can juggle, can you teach me?" an annoying brat said in Timothy's voice. Allen blinked, confused. Oh, he's talking about when Lenalee and I were in the Rewinding Town and we tried to get Miranda a job at the circus. That hadn't ended too well. Especially because that Noah, Road Kamelot had appeared with those Akuma...

"Maybe later, okay?" he said. "After breakfast and after we've done the mission we have coming up. Alright?" he grinned, ruffling Timothy's hair.

Timothy ran off yelping in delight to Miranda, who was crying happily, glad she had done something right for once. Poor woman, she thinks everything's her fault.

Allen continued to the table and plonked himself down on the bench and begun digging in to his Mitarashi Dango, which Lenalee had 'forgotten' to confiscate sixteen of.

"You should eat a more balanced diet, kid," the Inspector Howard Link commented to Allen.

Allen glanced pointedly at the Inspector's own plate of cakes and pies as if to say, "Look who's talking." Of course, he couldn't say that right now as his mouth was stuffed with food.

"Allen, chew slower or you're gonna choke," the eye-patched Bookman Apprentice chuckled.

"Tch. I couldn't care what happens to the moyashi!" Kanda glared.

Allen abandoned his polite manners uncharacteristically - courtesy of Kanda - and his table-mates saw him spit out his half-chewed food and hiss, "It's Allen, baKanda!"

Lavi laughed and patted Kanda's back, "Good one, Yuu-chan."

Lavi let out a sudden scream and ran for his life as Kanda chased him with Mugen drawn. "DON'T CALL ME THAT, baka-usagi!"

The drama was quickly over and the exorcists headed over to Komui for the briefing after breakfast. For some reason, Howard Link had tagged along, not caring to explain himself at all.

I wonder what Komui wants. Perhaps they've discovered a nest of Akuma we need to destroy, or evidence of an Innocence piece. Maybe the Noah are killing more exorcists off.

"Allen, Lavi. Kanda, Link. And my beautiful sister Lenalee~," Komui squealed when they had gathered in his messy office (Allen almost tripped over a pile of papers on the floor) , and had given a curt nod after each full stop, except for the one after Lenalee. Allen and Lavi snickered and Lenalee started lecturing Komui on how to go to rehab and successfully get rid of his sister-complex disease/drug forever. Kanda 'tch'ed, and Inspector Howard Link remained neutrally silent.

Kanda got irritated at having to wait for Komui to stop fussing over Lenalee before being briefed on the mission, so suddenly a, "Get over your sister-complex, you fag!" rang out the room and shocked everyone silent. Except for Howard Link, who was already silent.

(A/N: I don't have anything against homosexuals, I actually felt kinda bad using a derogatory term for them here)

Komui stared, shocked and hurt that anyone would insult him just for checking that his poor little Lenalee was okay and unharmed by some big meanie demons - humans as well as the Earl's servants. "Err, oh, yes!" Komui came back to what he thought was reality and pushed his glasses up his nose, which glinted in the light, and shuffled a pile of paper into Howard Link's hands.

Link stared at it, then started flipping through. "Hey, why does he get to see it first?" Kanda snapped off.

"Err, he's an Inspector, remember," Komui said, and then tagged on at the end in his mind, Not to mention pretty if he didn't have two dots on his forehead. Komui realized what he just thought, and shook his head violently, his shoulder-length black hair lashing his cheeks.

"What, lemme guess, you've got the song Whip Mah Hair Back and Forth stuck in your head don't you?" Lavi joked.

Link snorted, "If only you knew how much that has to do with our actual mission."

Lavi paled, "What, an Akuma with hair that attacks us like Jasdevi's did? Or a parasite-type Innocence?"

"...And a popular song such as Whip My Hair Back And Forth is actually related to our mission as much as the price of eggs is."

Lavi scowled playfully, "You don't have to trick me like that, you know. You could just tell me what the mission is about."

"Mysterious hair about 30 metres long that kidnaps people who have just bought eggs from the market. But maybe that's just a coincidence."

There was a silence, and then Allen began giggling his guts out, on the floor, "You mean you weren't tricking him at all, that it was the truth? Pah ha ha ha ha!"

Lavi stared a moment, then a humongous grin spread across his face and he cackled with Allen's amused laughter.

Kanda merely 'tch'ed again and asked when they were leaving. Lenalee, being the Mary Sue that she was, worried that the people could be injured and hurt or even killed if the hair was of an Akuma. If it was Innocence running wild, there was a chance of the same happening, though much lower.

"You will be setting off immediately, in five minutes. This is the Finder who will be accompanying you and his name is Finnigan."

The Finder who stood in the corner of Komui's messy paper-filled office nodded and stepped forward a little.

Allen wondered how Toma was. Maybe he was hunting down rumours in the far east, in China or Korea. He followed the others, drifting after them towards the waterways as he pondered on his thoughts. That shadow's creepy, he shuddered as he saw the Fourteen's creepy shadow reflecting off the surface of the water.

"You coming?" Lavi asked, standing on the boat that was rocking gently from side to side on the soft ripples, holding himself steady with his Innocence hammer grounded on the bottom of the canal. Finnigan was doing the same, but with the paddle. Lenalee sat ladylike on the small bench that all boats had. Link sat on the bench at the other end of the rowboat. Kanda sat between the two benches, in the slapbang middle of the boat, crosslegged and meditating as he had nothing better to do when he wasn't eating soba, receiving missions or carrying said missions out. Who knows if he even slept at all?

"Err, yeah. Sorry!" Allen hastily jumped on, causing the boat to rock violently, and it would've tipped over if Lavi and Finnigan weren't holding on their supports.

Lavi made a bad joke or pun about, "If Allen wasn't here, we'd end up in the deep end of the war anyway," commenting on the prophecy of being The Destroyer of Time. Kanda rolled his eyes at the cheesiness of it all.

A while later, after the long and boring ride which Lavi kept cracking jokes in, they arrived at the train station and boarded their train. They sat in the private compartment together - except for Finnigan, who Kanda had forced to sit outside.

"What a day," Allen yawned as he plopped down on the seat in-between Lavi and Link. Kanda and Lenalee sat on the other side of the compartment, Lenalee finally managing to coax the terrified Finnigan to sit next to her, and made Kanda stop growling under his breath. "I'm so tired.."

"We all are," Lenalee sighed, leaning on Kanda's shoulder, the latter who glared viciously at the girl who now had her eyes closed. Allen and Lenalee started snoring after a while, Allen drooling on Link's shoulder. Gradually, Kanda closed his eyes too, but it seemed more like meditation than sleep. After a while, Finnigan started snoring too.

Lavi grinned cheekily at Link, who was still awake, and fished out a pen from his pocket, commencing to draw on Allen and Finnigan's faces. He daren't touch Lenalee for fear of Komui, and Kanda for fear of impalement by Mugen. When the train arrived in the station, Lavi had been extremely bored and had doodled all over the train window as well. And Timcanpy, who eventually got fed up and ate the pen, much to the surprise of Lavi's squeal. Link snorted, and proceeded to wake everyone up.

Lenalee took one look at Allen and Finnigan and decided to keep quiet, giggling inwardly. Lavi grinned at her as they all piled off the train yawning.

"Err, what now?" Allen stated, his face looking ridiculous, ruining the sincerity of the question.

One problem. Not a lot of solutions.

They didn't know where to start in a huge capital like this...

A/N:

Allen, Red-before-he-was-Allen, Dark!Allen, Fourteen and etc.

No pairings unless they're canon - except tiny hints of fluff. Um, please do tell if some characters are OoC (like Komui and Allen)

I doubt the song I Whip My Hair Back And Forth existed back in the 18th century, but song references are probably the only things that are going to be chronologically out of place here XD

So this one will probably be about, what, 50 chapters or so? That is, if I don't give up and forget all about due to lack of motivation - who wants to motivate me, neh? :D I would really be ecstatic if someone reviewed because this is my first story *cough* I mean fanfiction that I'm putting up here on on my account GrayWhiteShadows, so *makes lots of happy, sad and anxious faces*