DISCLAIMER: All characters, objects, items, places, names, lore etc that you recognize belongs to Bioware. Everything else is my imagination and how I would have liked to see ME3 play out.

A/N: I always felt disappointed that they removed the squaddies from ME2. I always felt like it could have really contributed to the chemistry on board the Normandy. Having romanced Miranda in ME2 I was bummed she was hardly in ME3 at all.

Anyway, so this is the sequel to Losing What We Never Had. If you haven't read it I would strongly advice you start with that one as you will have missed a lot of important details. For the rest of you thank you for heading out on a new adventure with me! I hope you will enjoy this story as we will find out what happens to Miranda and Rue after the ending of LWWNH. This story takes place during ME3 and as per usual I am most likely to change things. Not the core story, but I might change other things such as missions etc (read: stuff Miranda into ME3 as much as I can). Well, if you read this you have probably already read LWWNH so you know what you're in for. ;)

Contains Femslash. If you do not like I suggest you be open minded and give it a try. If anyone feels like trolling I will tell you now that you're wasting your time. I have tons of loyal readers who give me constructive criticism that I listen to and learn from. Trolling will be blocked and ignored and I really don't care for it since I know my readers will let me know if I totally suck.

Having that said, drop me a review to let me know what you think, want to see etc. :)

And with that...Here we go, enjoy! :)

~Elmjuniper

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A heart doesn't simply forget. Not once it has been touched by someone in the way mine has been by Rue. I don't think I'll ever be the same after being with her, I don't know that I want to be the same. You have her eyes and my dark hair and I will do anything in my power to protect you, but to protect you I need the greatest hero of all times to be unaware of you. She cannot, she must not be distracted by us. For if she is there might not be a world for you to grow up in.

PROLOGUE

SHE STOOD IN THE DOORWAY looking out across the office she had called her home for the past eight months. This place had changed her life. She always knew it would, she just hadn't known it would be in this way. When she stepped aboard the Normandy she had expected to gain yet another experience, another mission accomplished, another notch on her perfect belt.

She had imagined going in to the Suicide Mission as one person coming out as another. Stronger, wiser, more experienced. She had only thought her changes would be professional, not personal. She hadn't expected to meet so many different persons, to come to enjoy the company of quite the few of them, to trust them in battle. There had been mistrust in the beginning, but regardless of how you felt for one another, when you survived something like they had it created a bond whether you liked it or not.

When the Illusive Man had given the Lazarus project to her she had felt the rush of excitement of what they were about to do. They were going to bring someone back from the dead, and not just anybody, but the legendary Commander Shepard. It would certainly make their mark in history. She never doubted, not once, that they would be successful in reviving Shepard. She didn't do failure.

Miranda snorted where she stood. Didn't do failure? Then what the hell did you call this? They had won this first bit of the war, but she had lost so much more. The old Miranda would not be able to see what she had lost, but she wasn't the same Miranda now. This one was changed. Heartbroken. She had thought she was invincible, that her Ice Queen mask would protect her from harm like it had for so many years. But how do you protect a heart that beats so fiercely, so intensely? How do tell your heart to stop beating with every breath regardless of how much it aches?

Parts of her had foolishly thought she could stay on the Normandy even after the mission had been accomplished –if they survived. Despite how things ended between her and Rue they were both professional enough to keep their personal lives from interfering with their work. And in that way she would be able to… keep an eye on the commander. Even if it was from afar.

She rested her hands on her stomach. She was starting to show even more. She had been lucky the first few months of her pregnancy and one could barely tell. Rue most certainly hadn't been able to. But now her stomach was getting rounder and not even the large tops she had taken to wearing would hide it any longer. Besides, she needed to find out what her crazy father's plan was. She remembered fragments of what had happened, but large parts were still missing. The one thing she remembered was her father gloating about how hers and Shepard's child would be the ultimate human specimen. That was all she needed to remember to know that she had to let the commander go and in order to that she had to leave. She couldn't stay and she needed to regain her powers, but most importantly, she needed to protect her baby from her father.

The doors opened and Jacob stepped into the office. "Hey you," he said. "How are you holding up?"

She exhaled feeling the corners of her mouth twitch involuntarily and she bit her lip blinking the tears away.

"I'm fine," she lied.

The solider put his arm around her and pulled her in for a comforting hug. She leaned her head on to his shoulder still memorising her office. Parts of her were really going to miss it.

"Are you sure this is a good idea, Miranda? Don't you think Shepard deserves to know?"

"She can't know and you know why."

"I know, I just...I like the commander. She's a strong, admirable woman, but now she thinks I'm the douche who slept with her girlfriend," Jacob said remorsefully.

"You saw that Reaper, Jacob. It had been made out of thousands of humans. You know what is coming. Even if the Council or the Alliance won't admit it we both know the Reapers are a real threat. They will need Rue and when the time comes she can't be worrying about this." She motioned at her belly.

"I know, it just doesn't feel right. Shepard would-"

"Do anything for us. She would be selfish and protect us at all cost," she said and picked up her bag. "I can't let that happen. This is bigger than me and Rue. Please don't tell her the truth, Jacob."

The man sighed. "I won't, but if there is ever anything you need..."

"I know, thank you." She gave him a quick kiss on his stubbly cheek then she walked through the doors one last time.

"Jacob?" She turned her head.

"Yes?"

"Look after her, will you?"

"You have my word."

TO BE CONTINUED...