*Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel or any original characters depicted in the comics/movies.*
I am a new writer and hope to create something that is entertaining for everyone. Will update as often as I can, given I work full-time. Enjoy~

Chapter 1: Dismay*

Her heart was beating heavily. At least, it felt like thunder in her chest. She took in a deep, ragged breath in an attempt to concentrate on calming her nerves. Estiel let her body collapse on the bed, turning her face into the sheets. She felt such emptiness, a void that threatened to consume her from within. As her thoughts darted back and forth, trying to locate a comforting memory, only the events from an hour ago came to mind. She reluctantly allowed her thoughts to wander back to the moment he had broken her, and all the bitter words that led to it.

"I know you, truly, I do. You are capable of happiness and purpose outside of the chains you condemn yourself to. I have seen in your eyes a fire that burns so great, so wild, that you could warm the realm in winter. But you wish to use it to destroy everything good, to burn it all to the ground. And for what? To prove your worthiness, your power? Your insecurities will only cause you more suffering." Estiel's voice was soft, but firm. She looked up to him; he looked disgusted.

"You despicable woman—how could you pretend to understand anything beyond rosy ideals and trivial expectations? You know nothing of my burden, nothing of me. You're a fool." Loki spoke venomously. He began to turn on his heels and storm out of the library.

"Loki... please, do not walk away again." Estiel implored. He ignored her and continued to march on.

"I love you!" she shouted after him. She finally confessed—no longer able to lock it in her heart. Her last attempt to keep him, causing him to pause for a mere second at the door.

"I'm sure you do. Let the agony of knowing I do not feel the same haunt you. Perhaps then, you may one day, understand my burden." Loki said coldly before slamming the door behind him.

Estiel felt the anger burn in her throat as she replayed Loki's cruel words in her mind. She wanted to scream at his condescending tone echoing over and over. She clutched her dress tightly in both hands until her knuckles were white, her eyes shut to keep the anger from spilling out. Anger from how sure he sounded, how strongly he believed the words he spoke. Then, like a slap to her face, she felt the tinge of sadness creep over her chest, filling it. She felt guilty, perhaps he was right. Maybe she knew nothing about him, nothing of his pain. Maybe he was right to tell her the truth. To accept that as reality, she began to feel that sadness take hold and her eyes could no longer contain the tears that fell. She let out the faintest of whimpers, mourning the death of her confidence in what she believed. Sucking in a breath and holding it in she choked, finally defeated.

"Lies! You are a cruel liar!" Estiel screamed retaliation into her bed, with only muffled sounds escaping into the room.

Several moments of silence passed. With a heavy sigh, she turned her red, tear-stained face from her bed and looked at the fireplace. The flames danced and crackled, playing shadows on the walls of her room. Her body felt like a ragdoll, limp and motionless. Glancing to her window, she could see faint specks of light in the night sky from the millions of stars. The same stars she and Loki discussed on warmer nights.

Suddenly, the comfort of the memory overcame the doubt that felt like lead in her chest. She made up her mind right then. She would prove to Loki of Asgard, God of Mischief and Lies, that she was right—by suffering rejected affections and staying loyal. Estiel believed with all her being that she would rather die a thousand painful deaths than to accept his defensive words.

Morning came and went uneventfully. Estiel had no appetite for breakfast, but forced herself to eat lunch to regain some energy. Sitting at the dining table, she kept pausing and staring out at nothing in particular. She wanted to see him, to speak with him, but she knew it would not happen until some time had passed. Not only did she need to work up the courage to face him again, but he would most certainly be tied up in royal duties during the day.

With that knowledge, she attempted to think of a list of distractions. Anything to keep her from dwelling on the ache that pulsed through her body. It was rather strange she thought, the pain. How emotional turmoil always made every nerve feel raw, almost severed. Estiel wondered why these feelings surface after telling him how she felt, yet never before.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a maid reaching by her to collect the dirty plates. She belonged to an aristocratic family, her father being a respected philosopher. Her mother mingled with other socialites and her younger siblings were still in academies. Estiel was old enough now to be married off, but her father had yet to cater to the tradition of finding a match. Because of his more modern thinking, she was formally trained in philosophy and healing. Though not common for a woman to receive formal training, Asgardians were allowed to explore their interests individually. Most women of higher status simply preferred to focus on finding a suitable partner and be a good wife.

Estiel winced at the thought of him rejecting her again. It would be too much to cope with. She would wait until her courage was greater before attempting to seek his audience. Maybe it would be a few hours, or maybe it would be a few days. The afternoon droned on and she buried herself in research projects that her father requested. By evening, sleep found her easily, for she was fairly exhausted.

Like stitching up your own wound, she kept herself busy the next day to mend her feelings. This was to prevent her thoughts from focusing on Loki, mainly. It agonized her to purposely avoid seeing him. What felt like several days was only two now, and she began to have moments of panic. In the middle of reading a book or practicing her penmanship, she would feel flush, her heart would begin to race, and effectively stopping her from what her focus was on.

In those moments, Estiel was sure she would die. The fear would swallow her up and the only thought she could conjure was that she needed to see him. Before she could allow her heart to stop, she would need to tell him how wrong he was for not trusting her more. Of course, when the panic attacks would pass, she felt entirely too dramatic, but nonetheless, the process repeated multiple times.

By late afternoon, she contemplated visiting a friend. However, her friends had not called on her for months now; most of them preparing for a wedding or already married and tending to a husband. Estiel did not mingle with others in the royal quarters; namely, Thor or the warriors. Her family was not royalty, after all. She only came to know Loki through their studies together. Though his specializations were in the magical arts, Loki was no stranger to other subjects like history and philosophy.

Estiel paced her room after all of her research had concluded. She picked up a book and placed it on a shelf over her desk to tidy up. In that moment, she began ruminating over Loki again. It was over a century ago when she first met him at one of the many libraries in the castle, seeking a book he had just replaced on the shelf. Estiel began to recall fond memories of that day.

"Forgive me, Prince Loki, I was unaware that you were here." Estiel cast her eyes down immediately and curtsied. He had caught her off-guard as she was searching for a particular book.

"Ah, very well, you are forgiven. This is a public library, after all." Loki smirked and stepped by her to place a book back on the shelf. Without looking at her, he paused and he spoke lazily:

"Tell me, my lady, what book are you looking for?" Loki asked out of a different curiosity. He rarely saw girls in the library, much less in this section. Most women were on the other side with the fairy tales and culinary arts books.

"Oh, um, I am looking for a philosophy book, sire." She spoke nervously, knowing Loki's reputation for being a mischievous prince.

Loki scoffed at her reply.

"Well, I gathered that much given that we're in the philosophy section. Come now, do you think I am simple?" He sounded slightly annoyed.

"No! My apologies, sire, I do not think you to be simple. Forgive my broad answer for I am taken aback by your presence. I am searching for a book titled The Great Truth by Sannsel Abrie." Estiel tried her best to speak clearly and not allow her nerves to best her. Loki raised an eyebrow at her.

"What is your name, my lady? You may look at me as you speak." Estiel looked up at the young prince and blushed a bit as she spoke her name.

"Well, lady Estiel Meldaire, it appears I have the book you seek." Loki turned in her direction and extended his arm with the leather-bound book in hand. She began to reach for it when he slowly pulled it back to himself. This confused her, causing her to look at him with a furrowed brow.

"Lady Estiel, pray tell, why do you wish to read this book?" He smirked at her confused expression and waited for an answer.

"I… study philosophy under my father, who instructed me to collect this book, sire." She was unsure of why he was asking so many questions.

"I have never met a girl who studied philosophy; how interesting." Loki abruptly handed her the book and began to walk away casually with his hands behind his back. Estiel was curious now and felt compelled to follow after him. Perhaps he would enjoy a discussion over the book, she thought. Why else would he engage in such trivial conversation? She followed after him with the book clutched to her chest.

"Prince Loki?" she spoke softly, maybe too softly since he did not immediately stop his gait.

"Yes, Lady Estiel?" Loki replied while continuing to walk away.

"Have you read this book?" She asked.

"Hah, you know the answer to that. Next question." Loki dismissed and continued walking.

"Well, why do you ask me so many questions?" Intrigued by her forwardness, he stopped and turned to face her. A devious look in his eyes almost made her regret asking.

"Do you speak to all royalty with such rudeness, or do you believe I am unaware of good manners?" Loki asked very curtly. His tongue sharp and his eyes fixed on her reaction. Feeling brave, Estiel could not help returning his gaze with the same intensity.

"I am obliged to inform you that neither is the case, sire. I find you to be the curious sort of prince who is willing to partake in conversation of a philosophical nature with a complete stranger. If I am wrong, I apologize. If I am not, would you care to share your thoughts on this book?" She hoped that she was right, since she found him rather interesting. He had a quick wit, one that rivaled the intellect of her father.

"Uh…right. Well, what would you like to know?" Loki was not expecting such a brash response. He had really never had someone aside from Thor tell him what he or she was thinking, especially so boldly. He was also somewhat flattered that she wanted him to share his thoughts on something he enjoyed—books.

Estiel sighed and sat dejectedly in her chair. She missed him. Perhaps she would find the courage to see him tomorrow…

*(Chapter has been re-written as of 2/13/14)

A/N: Italics always mean a flashback, just FYI. I hope you enjoyed this enough to continue! I rewrote it because, after developing the story chapter-by-chapter, I felt like it was not a good representation for a first chapter. If anyone felt like the original was better, let me know and I shall update again. Thanks for reading~