Hey everyone! Just a little one shot that I had been working on. I hope you like it, its nothing special just something I have been working on since I have had such bad writers block the past month.
Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Not mine, not making any money.

It started happening a few days after Cas came to them, found him outside in the freezing night air, curled into a thin hoodie. Dean remembered standing there for far too long, looking at the thin, fallen man curled at their door. Nothing like the angel they knew. He remembered snapping out of his stupor fast, shaking the poor guy a little too hard, thinking he was dead for sure. Cas just looked up, bags under his eyes and his skin far too pale for Dean's liking.

"Hello Dean," he had managed, his skin shaking under Dean's touch.
Sam followed the sound and helped the fallen angel into the safety of the bunker, his shoes wrecked and the soles gone from them however long ago.

Dean was in the kitchen, pouring himself a cup of coffee and Cas was at the fridge getting some milk. He had bent over a bit and Dean caught him hitched, a wince on his face as he straightened, gallon of milk in hand. Dean didn't say anything, the guy did just become human, the creaks and cracks were part of it. Something he had never had to deal with before. He had shrugged it off and went back to stirring his coffee.

But then it happened again, this time it was after dinner and they where clearing the table; something Cas seemed to enjoy doing was cleaning up after people. Dean didn't know if it was somehow connected, almost on a cellular level of the angel, that he continually needed to clean up other people's messes. But for whatever reason, he let him do it. On his way around the table he saw him roll his shoulders, wince and grab a dish before retreating to the sink. But it was when they where in the library, Sam hunched over an old Greek text for some reason or another, while Cas read quietly in the corner. It was quiet and still, it had been awhile since Dean had had any semblance of peace in his life and he welcomed it.
Cas had sat up stretched, then stopped, actually gasping and folding his arms around him as if he where in pain.
"Ok what is it, Cas?" Dean snapped, closing the book loudly and breaking the silence that had been so comforting just moments before.
Cas looked up, startled-his eyes darting back and forth between the brothers.
"Just an ache in my back, I'm fine," He reassured, but Dean saw the panic in his eyes when he mentioned it and the way his Adam's apple dipped almost convulsively as he swallowed hard.
He narrowed his eyes, but shook his head and delved back into the book before him.

Cas didn't know he was being watched that was for sure. But Dean started watching every move the man made, from bending over to stretching and constantly rolling his shoulder blade. It unnerved him, knowing that Cas was once again keeping something from them.
From him.
Dean's resolve finally broke one morning during breakfast, when Cas had finally decided to join them. He walked down the hall, his hair pointing in every which direction and his eyes tired. He grunted his good morning like he did every morning and immediately went to start coffee. Dean watched him reach for the mug on the top shelf, but was not fast enough when Cas seized and the mug shattered on the vintage tile. Everyone froze, Sam turned.
"You ok Cas?"
Dean was already up, stepping over the huge chunks of glass to get to the stricken fallen angel who looked like he just murdered Dean's puppy.
"I apologize, I did not mean to break the mug," he stammered, immediately crouching to grab the larger pieces that lay at his feet.
Dean crouched next to him, and grabbed his hand that currently held a piece of the broken ceramic.
"Cas,' he tried not speak softly, as it seemed Cas was nervous about something. "Talk to me man."
Cas ducked his head and pulled his hand away from Dean and picked up the mug's parts and put them gingerly in the trash can.
Sam watched the whole exchange wordlessly before going back to his cereal.
Then, Cas grabbed the broom.
Setting his jaw, Dean rolled his eyes and grabbed the dust pan and broom out of Cas's hand and shoved them towards Sam, "Sam, pick this up, Cas and I are going to have a talk."

And with that, he grabbed Cas's arm and pulled him down the hall towards his room. Cas followed, not fighting in the slightest.
They arrived at Dean's room who promptly shut the door behind them, turning to Cas, "Ok now whats going on? And I don't want any bullshit I want the truth. Something is up with you and I wanna know what it is!"

Cas still looked at the ground, but nodded.
"I am sorry to be such a burden-"
"Cut the melodramatics Cas and spit it out!" Dean interrupted.
Cas nodded,looked away for a second and then began unbuttoning his shirt slowly.
Staring, and scrunching his brow Dean felt his mouth go dry almost instantaneously. "Um, Cas..."

Cas shot him a look, "You wanted me to tell you," He snapped.
Shrugging his shirt off, he closed his eyes. "I cannot do this but for a moment, if I am able to at all, so please pay attention."
Nodding, Dean took an involuntary step back, looking at the angel intently.

His bedside lamp flickered as Cas shut his eyes, his fingers clenched into fists when suddenly, the light flashed and Dean almost stumbled back as a set of wings appeared on his bedroom wall. But not like he had seen in the barn, or anytime Cas had manifested his them; they looked limp, and feathers where falling as he stretched them, his shoulders rolling just like he had seen him do for the last few days.
Cas opened his eyes and the light show ended leaving Cas winded and shaky as he looked at Dean uneasily.

"Were those your-"

"Yes, those were my wings Dean," Castiel finished, obviously agitated.

"But I've seen them before and they didn't look like that, and how did you make the light show without your mojo?" He asked curiously, stepping forwards a bit.

"My wings are apart of me, and therefor I can still use what little energy I have to make them known for a split second if need be,' he paused, grabbing his previously discarded shirt from Dean's bed. "And they look like that because since my grace has been taken they are slowly dying. And it is uncomfortable."

Dean nodded, suddenly it all making sense. "So thats whats with the whole neck rolling thing lately?"
Cas nodded, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. And Dean realized now it was not an angel in his room anymore, it was just a man; a very shirtless man at the moment.
Dean turned his gaze to the ceiling sheepishly, "You can, ya know, put your shirt back on now."
Cas nodded, picking up the shirt from the bed and Dean tried not to notice how his lithe fingers kept fumbling with the small buttons.
Dean had never noticed Cas like he was now, he was toned, muscles rippling underneath his tan skin and every few inches a small scar marred the firm flesh.

"Um, here," Dean stuttered, opening his end table and pulling out a small bottle. "Just some low dose pain pills. I get headaches sometimes," he explained, dumping two small pills into his hand.
"Just two, if you need more come find me ok?"
Castiel nodded and gulped down the small pills with no hesitation or need for water it seemed.
"Thank you Dean, that is very helpful," He turned to leave but Dean gripped the edge of shirt making him pause at the doorway.
"Listen, you don't have to hide things from us. Some communication would be good, ya know," Dean said firmly.
Cas nodded, closing the door behind him.

SPNSPNSPNSPN

Three days later Dean saw Cas in the library, a place that he seemed to frequent more than any other room in the bunker. He used to haunt the gym quite frequently, until apparently his wings where becoming too cumbersome to him when he sparred.
Dean passed the room, a cup of water in his hand as he made his way to his room, his robe tied tightly around him; Dean halted and back peddled a few paces when he saw Cas curled onto the couch but it was obvious by the constant clenching of his fingers into his arms that he was not sleeping, at least not well.
"Cas?" He whispered, looking both ways down the hall to make sure Kevin and Sam where still sleeping.

Cas bolted upright immediately at the sound of Dean's voice; his hair matted from laying on the couch and his eyes drawn and tired.
"I am sorry Dean, was I disturbing you?" He asked quietly, his arms wrapping around him.
Dean shook his head and sat down on the edge of the couch across from the fallen angel, taking in his disheveled appearance.
"Cas, talk to me. Whats wrong," Dean demanded quietly, folding his arms and hoping that his stance showed Cas that he was not backing off from this.
"Dean I am fine-"
"Bullshit Cas. I thought we talked about this!" He hissed, standing up and fighting the urge to pace.
Cas ducked his head, his hands fell from his side and hands twisted together.
"Please, don't kick me out," He whispered, soft and broken.

That stopped Dean, who turned back to Cas and resisted the urge to yell.
"Why would I kick you out?"
"I am of no use to you anymore, I can barely sleep let alone be of any help with the angels, with heaven. The mess I created," he muttered. "But I have no where else to go, Dean."

Dean opened his mouth but no words came out. How could Cas think so little of them? Of him?
"You really think after everything? After all we've-" He stopped, looking incredulously at the man that sat before him. Dean stopped his triad after he saw that it was just making Castiel feel worse.
So instead, he crouched next to him, nervously placed a hand on his knee. "Cas, you're not going anywhere man, ok?"

Cas looked at him hopefully, his lips parted a bit in a soft smile.
"Thank you Dean," he whispered, almost too soft to hear.

Dean saw the drawn look and the small lines around Castiel's eyes.
"Its your back isn't it? Your wings?"
Cas nodded dejectedly, "They are to the point of mere bone. The weight on my physical body without the support of my grace is...taxing."
"How about the pain pills?" Asked Dean, removing his hand from his knee when he realized it was still setting there.
Castiel shook his head, "They ceased working last night, I am at a loss at how to proceed. This is not something I have had to deal with before."
It was then that Dean stood up and held out his hand to the ex angel. "Lets get you in bed, a heating pad might help."

Castiel didn't even ask what those where but followed Dean dutifully through the corridors to his bedroom. Cas's bed was still tightly made, no wrinkles or creases could be seen on the clean comforter. At least he was tidy.
Dean started digging in Castiel's closet, moving a few boxes that they had stashed there during their inventory, a bunch of clutter and random finds that they figured they should keep around.

"Get in bed, lie down," Dean instructed, pulling a large heating pad from the back of closet. They had gotten it when Sam had been going through the trials, due to the fact that he could never seem to keep him warm, but then the thing sent him into a high fever so Dean had tossed it back here in the mean time.

Dean untangled the long cord and plugged it in to the nearest outlet closest to Cas's bed. Cas was laying down stiff in the bed; Dean could almost feel the apprehension rolling off of him.

"Lay on your stomach, I don't want this thing burning you," Dean instructed, turning the heating pad on low heat. Castiel did as he was told, his muscles rolling under tan skin as he crossed his arms under his head.
Gently, Dean laid the warming pad onto the fallen angels back. He stiffened immediately before sighing as the heat started to sooth his sore muscles.

"Thank you," he breathed, his voice sounding soft and at ease for the first time in weeks. Dean smiled, rested his hand on his bare shoulder before walking out of the room.

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

Morning came and Dean was already in the kitchen, making toast and eggs. It was late for Cas, the man still had not emerged from his bedroom. It wasn't until Sam kept looking at him while he checked his watch every few moments, cramming his breakfast into his mouth half hazardly as he did so.
"Dude, if you're worried about him, go check on him," Sam admonished finally, apparently not being able to take his older brothers lack of table manners and bouncing leg any longer.
Dean looked away from his watch confused, "What?"
Sam rolled his eyes, "You've looked at your phone five times in the last two minutes. Just go see why he isn't up."

Ten o'clock.

He sat there for a few more moments in silence, like he was trying to prove something to his younger brother.
Dean didn't say anything just pushed back his chair and ignored the half crooked smile Sam tried to hide as he walked up the stairs towards Castiel's room.
He stopped at the door, taking a deep breath and trying to figure out why he was nervous in the first place.
It was just Cas after all.

He knocked quickly, "Cas, you awake?"
Dean strained his ears from signs of life behind the door, but only heard the bed spread shuffle a bit. Squaring his jaw, he twisted the door knob forcefully and swung the door open.
Dean made out Castiel's form from under the rumpled covers, his toes hanging out the end of the blanket.

"Cas?" He ventured in slowly.

"Dean..." Came Cas's soft voice, barely audible from under his nest of blankets. "I believe that the heating device has worked very well."

Dean snickered a bit, "Ok well I'm glad to hear it." He went to leave, casting one last look at the lump on the bed that was Cas.

SPNSPNSPNSPN

It wasn't until a few day later that things went to shit.
Castiel was assisting Sam categorize a few dozen boxes of artifacts in one of the hidden nooks they had discovered in a storage closet. Sam had his back turned to Cas when he heard a loud thud and strangled yelp.
"Cas?" Sam exclaimed, whipping around to see the fallen angel curled on the cement floor, the contents of the box littering the floor around him.

"I apologize Sam,' Castiel murmured, his right arm wrapped around him. "I hope I didn't break anything."

Sam stooped next to him, helping the man to his feet, careful of the artifacts scattered at his feet.

"Don't worry about it, what happened?" He asked, eyeing the hunched man in a concerned manner.

"I believe, I stumbled."

Sam knew when he was being lied to, he had done it professionally his whole life and the grimace plastered on Cas's face was not the cause of a trip or misstep.

"Here," Sam slung an arm over his shoulder, "Lets get you to bed."

Cas made no complaints as the taller man helped him to his room, slowly and watching every wince that Cas attempted to suppress.

They limped down the hall, Sam shooting Cas concerned looks with every wince. To Sam's knowledge, this was an isolated incident. But of course, he was human now, and perhaps this was just him getting used to the aches and pains of humanity.

He deposited the fallen angel on his bed, hoisting his legs to join his torso. Cas heaved a sigh of relief when he was finally horizontal.

"I'll go get you some aspirin and water ok?"

Cas just nodded, eyes still shut.

Sam rushed into the kitchen, sorting through their impressive stash of medical equipment and supplies to find the bottle of pain relievers and grab a bottle of water from the bridge.

"You ok?" Dean called, seeing Sam grab the items a bit concerned.

"No, yea, I'm fine. Its for Cas," Sam explained, gesturing to the water bottle.

Dean's face fell at his words. "What do you mean? What happened to him?"

Sam shrugged, obviously not as concerned as Dean. "He said he slipped while we were moving some boxes-"

Dean paled, "Shit." He grabbed the items out of Sam's arms without an explanation, and left his younger brother in the kitchen with a bewildered look on his face.

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

Dean opened the door to Castiel's room softly, light streaming in from the hallway just enough for him to make out the fallen angel curled up on the bed.

"Cas?" He called softly, stepping into the small, empty room.

"I believe I have overexerted myself," came the breathy reply.

Dean scoffed, moving next to him and setting the water on the bed side table.

"I think thats an understatement."

Cas shrugged and buried his face in the pillow.

"Your wings still bothering you?"

Cas just nodded, "Thank you for your remedies but I believe the only thing I have left to do now is suffer through this."

Dean stopped as a thought flittered across his mind, slammed his eyes shut and nearly shook his head to make it disappear.
No way was he doing that.

Cas turned, gasping a bit as his shoulders move.

"Fuck," Dean muttered, running a hand over his face.

"Pardon?" Cas asked, turning towards Dean with an confused look on his face.

"Just um, stay there ok?" Dean instructed as he ran down the hall and into the bathroom. He dug through the medicine cabinet until he found what he was looking for and, before looking both ways he snuck back into Castiel's room and locked the door.

"Dean?"

"Yea, just gimme a minute," Dean replied, mentally pumping himself up for the awkwardness he knew was about to ensue.
Gently he placed a hand on Cas's back, just below his shoulder blade.
He felt him stiffen immediately, throwing a bewildered look over his shoulder.

Dean rolled his eyes, "Just, lets never talk about this again ok?"

"I don't understa-" his statement was cut off by a guttural moan, his face collapsing back into the pillow.
Dean smirked a bit as his lotion slick fingers pushed deeply into Cas's taunt muscles, working them loose with a practiced skill.

"Dean this feels-"

"Yea I know shut up about it," Dean whispered, trying not to think too much into the situation as his other hand joined the first, roaming over Cas's upper back and tracing the sore muscles.

He found that he could't get enough leverage sitting on the edge of the bed and his arms were quickly getting tired.

"Here just, uh...don't move.' Dean stammered nervously as he got to his feet.

The older Winchester looked down at the prone man laying absolutely still beneath him and he'd be damned because someone must have turned up the heat because he was finding it difficult to breath.

Gingerly, he got back on the bed and carefully put one leg over Cas's back, straddling his lower waist and giving him a more accessibility.

He heard Cas exhale a bit underneath him, "Yea don't act like I'm that heavy asshole," he smirked, trying to chase away his nervousness with some humor.

"Please continue," Cas asked, looking back towards him.

So Dean put his hands back on Castiel's taunt shoulders, following the curves of muscles and kneading the rigid flesh he found.

Dean wasn't sure how much time had gone by but Cas was near putty in his hands now and he found his fingers roaming the fallen angel's lower back. He pushed gently at the base of Cas's spine and a broken moan emitted from his parted lips.

Dean froze; his fingers still lingering at the spot. But he pressed around the muscles there as Cas once again let out a breathy sigh.

"You okay there man?" Dean ventured, his voice nearly catching in his throat.

Cas just nodded and Dean went back to work, still arguing with himself in his head why he was doing this at all. Could had just gotten the guy some pain pills and let him sleep it off. What the fuck was he thinking?

Dean was so deep in thought that he didn't notice, or maybe didn't want to notice the near silent moans that keep escaping Castiel's mouth as his hands continued downwards, or the way his hips were moving in motion with Dean's fingers.

This was going too far, was all Dean could think. But a small, whispering part of him thought about how it wasn't going far enough, that all this time and all this tension had always been leading to this.

"Dean," Cas whispered, breaking Dean out of his revere.

"Uh, yea Cas?" Dean stammered, his hands immediately dropping to the bed.

"That feels...' Cas struggled for a moment, as if he wasn't sure of the right words. "Good. It feels good."

Dean smiled despite himself. "You know, after hell, after all the shit I went through. Fuck it took me a long time to remember that touch can be a good thing ya know? It doesn't always hurt."

Shifting underneath, Cas met his eyes. "I would not be opposed to you continuing. Its been...comforting."

Dean didn't miss how Castiel's pupils were blown wide or how sweat was clinging to his brow, and he definitely didn't notice how his tongue wet his chapped lips while he stared at Dean.
He just nodded and continued his ministrations, trying to ignore the lust he felt pooling in his abdomen.

He stopped at Castiel's pajama bottoms, his fingers teasing the elastic that lay there.

Dean found himself moving farther back on Cas's legs, and hooking the elastic.

"Cas, roll over."

And he did, he was gasping, his eyes wide and mouth parted as he stared up at Dean.

"Oh for fucks sake," Dean exclaimed softly and dove into the other man's space, cutting the distance between them and colliding their lips together. Castiel reciprocated in kind, sloppy and inexperienced but passionate none the less.
Dean gently ran his tongue along fallen angel's bottom lip and as he opened his mouth in a soft gasp he massaged his tongue with his own, Castiel moaning loudly into the kiss.

Dean pulled back, "We gotta be quiet ok?"

Cas nodded, his hands going to Dean's jean clad hips as if he was afraid he would leave as soon as the silence had been broken.

"Not going anywhere," Dean gasped, diving in for another bruising kiss.

Dean's fingers danced down Cas's rib cage before resting safely on his sharp hip bones, finger tips dancing along the crevices as Cas moaned into their kiss.

The older Winchester crashed their hips together almost involuntarily as he slotted himself in between Castiel's legs, trying desperately to get closer.

"Dean-" Cas choked out, his face flushed as sweat pooled at his hairline. Dean felt the blunt ends of Castiel's finger nails raking across his ribs, leaving thin white lines in their wake.

He moved again, slower this time, pressing the right places and Cas slowly came undone underneath him.

Dean couldn't help but watch in rapture as the once mighty angel writhed against him, his hips moving against Deans in a futile effort to bury himself in him.

"We gotta," Dean panted out, pushing Castiel's hips into the mattress, slowing their movements. "We gotta slow down man."

Castiel's eyes snapped open, confused and frustrated.

"I don't understand why," he growled, fingers digging into Dean's hips.

"Because you're hurting and your angry. And this," he gestured to the both of them. "Is new to you. Fuck its completely unchartered territory for me. I don't want to fuck this up."

Cas was still flushed and heaving, but he nodded.
They stayed there, staring at each other. Dean was having trouble focusing, his eyes mapping the lines under Castiel's own, the way his brow was furrowed and the way he lips were parted at this exact moment. He squashed the impending panic he knew was bubbling in his chest, it was too close, it was too intimate. And it was Cas.

"Dean, stop," whispered Cas, leaning his head forward, bumping his forehead again the older Winchester's and forcing him to look up. "Even without my grace I can nearly hear your thoughts screaming. Just, stop."

A peppering of nervous kissing were being trailed down his chin and onto his neck, and he was acutely aware that the loud moan came from him as Cas latched onto his pulse point and worried the skin there.

Burying his face in the crook of Cas's neck, his panted as his tongue darted to caress the bruising skin that was blossoming on his neck.
He was comfortable there, curled into Cas as the other man stroked the back of his neck were his hairline ended.
It was late and Dean was exhausted, emotionally and physically. He
vaguely remembers rolling off the ex angel and pulling him closer, his back flush against his chest. He remembers breathing in the smell of the shampoo that he Dean had bought him and then passing into the most peaceful sleep he had had in ages.

SPNSPNSPNSPN

"Dean." came a voice, breaking through the haze of his unconsciousness. "Dean, wake up."

Dean groaned in frustration as his mind raced to remember why there was someone in bed with him, a very male and shirtless someone.
Cas.

"Shit!" He gasped, sitting up right and attempting to untangle himself from the bedsheets. He whipped his head to see Cas with his back to him, a bit of the comforter wrapped around him like a security blanket, his head hanging.

Dean tentatively reached a hand out, his heart still racing after the shock as last nights events came flooding back to him. But before his hand could make purchase, Cas spoke.

"They're gone," he announced gruffly, his voice gravely from sleep and sorrow.

"Whats gone feathers?" Dean whispered, almost afraid to speak.

Castiel sighed and lowered the blanket that covered his back all the while hanging his head in shame.

There, in shocking contrast to the unmarred and tan skin, lay two perfectly straight lines that ran side by side down each shoulder blade. They were raised but white, as if they had been healed long ago.

Dean didn't know quite what to say.

He moved slowly, careful not to startle the grieving man as he brought himself next to him.

"Does it hurt?"

Cas shook his head, his eyes downcast. "No. Your presence last night relieved any ill affects that had been plaguing me."

Swallowing hard, Dean timidly took a hand and placed it over Cas's white knuckle grip on the bedsheets. He instantly relaxed and allowed their fingers to wind together.

"Anything I can do now?"

Castiel ventured to look at him finally, "Coffee would be satisfactory."

Dean nodded, smiling a bit. "Yea I can do that." He moved to get up, pulling his previously discarded shirt over his head and attempted to sooth his bed ridden hair.

Walking to the door, he stopped and looked back to Castiel who still remained perched on the side of the bed.

"Are we, I dunno, good I guess?"

Cas smiled at his words and his obvious nervousness.

"Yes Dean, we are very good."

"Ok, ok cool."

He left the room, shutting the door behind him softly.

Cas smiled when he heard a sharp exclamation come from the kitchen, obviously from Sam.

"Dude is that a hickey!"

AN: Was that ok? I would love feedback!