AN #1 - OOC because this is how I (and hopefully a few others) wish things would go...even though the SPN writers seem to have other ideas. :(

AN #2 - This part isn't really a coda/tag anymore. I just couldn't leave things the way they were, I need the boys to be fixed. My apologies for taking so long, but the end of episode 14 "The Purge" wrecked me-took me a while to get over it.

AN #3 - My thanks to everyone who has read, reviewed and favorited. It really means alot that you are reading anything I write.

AN #4 - (Last one I promise.) As usual a million thanks to the awesome LoveThemWinchesters, without whose help this never could have happened. (You should go read her fics - They are amazing!)

Sam dropped the grocery bags onto the table. Casting his eyes between the staircase leading to the member's sleeping quarters and the hallway leading to the kitchen, he briefly considered putting at least the perishable items away before going in search of his brother. Just as quickly he dismissed the thought. If he didn't act on his decision immediately, if he gave himself time to think, he'd lose his resolve – or go crazy.

The things he'd learned over the last forty plus hours had been chasing around his brain, especially the last twenty minutes since his unsettling encounter with Crowley outside the grocery store. As much as he fears that pushing an encounter with Dean will make things worse (and he can't really imagine anything worse than the silent tension they've been living with since their confrontation the night they returned from the spa) he's also certain that things cannot remain as they are if they hope to have any chance of repairing the damage that they've both, by actions or words, caused to each other and their relationship. Which despite what his words may have indicated, Sam does not want to see end; he just needs it to change.

The advice he received from Castiel and the insight he provided into Dean's state of mind during their earlier conversation are hard for Sam to ignore. He knows that the angel's words are sincere and are motivated by genuine concern and caring for both Winchesters. And in a way, they have a large part to do with why Sam feels he should give discussing things with Dean another go. He just hopes that this time he can keep a rein on his emotions; he doesn't want his words to come out sounding wrong - like he fears they have before; he can't imagine how Dean took them.

Crowley's words are much easier for Sam to dismiss. He doesn't know how Crowley knows about the estrangement between the brothers, it could just be a really good guess, or perhaps he has someone watching them, but Sam does know that the majority of what Crowley said to him was a blatant attempt at manipulation. For some reason, and Sam is sure that it is self-serving above anything else, the King of Hell wants the brothers to 'kiss and make-up' (Crowley's words). And while Sam believes that Crowley does indeed want Dean one hundred percent focused on dispatching Abbadon, instead of distracted by a domestic dispute (again Crowley's words) he is also sure that there is more behind the demon's motives...there always is.

So Crowley's words are much easier for Sam to ignore - or they would be if one of the last things Crowley had said to him, 'Really Moose, don't worry too much about caving in to Squirrel's domineering ways, with the way his dance card is filling up chances are pretty good he won't be around to control your sad little life much longer anyway', hadn't so closely echoed the words he'd overheard Dean himself say to Castiel just over thirty-six hours ago.

At the time he'd thought that Dean's assurance to the angel that 'This' (referring to their non-brother status) 'wouldn't be an issue much longer' meant that Dean thought Sam would get over his anger soon, recant on the work-only stance and things would go back to normal, or what constituted normal for them. But when Sam considered the demon's words on top of that he couldn't help but think that there was something he didn't know about what Dean was planning. This really, if you factored in the events of the last few weeks, shouldn't have been news to Sam.

Sam quickens his steps as he gets closer to their bedrooms, determined to make every effort to get Dean to talk, even if he has to knock down the door to do it. Sam hopes it doesn't come to that, because that is sure to get Dean's ire up and lead to a physical confrontation. Sam doesn't think they can afford to indulge in one given the state of their emotions right now, or maybe that's exactly what they need. He's also not sure he can take Dean if it came to it. Despite the height and weight advantage that Sam has, the older hunter has always been just a bit faster, a bit stronger, and a lot more experienced. Sam has rarely been able to beat Dean in a fight, not consistently anyway, and he has no reason to think this time would be any different.

Sam is so focused on finding the correct approach-the right words to say-that his brain doesn't register what his eyes are seeing until he is standing in front of Dean's door. When he finally does register it, he loses a little bit of the steam that he had mustered on his walk up because Dean's door is open...wide open.

The door has remained firmly closed since their return from Wisconsin; Sam is thrown by the possibility of what the open door could mean. Has Dean stopped shutting him out? Could Dean be open to discussing their issues? Does it mean that Dean is showing signs of adjusting to their new 'work-only' relationship? Or is the open door merely an oversight on Dean's part?

From his position in the doorway, Sam can see that Dean is not in the room. The bed is made; there is a small pile of what appears to be clean laundry on the writing table that doubles as a desk; the closet door is open and Sam can see one of Dean's duffle bags (the larger one he uses for longer trips) lying open at the bottom of it. Not that Dean is a total slob or anything, but Sam notices that the room is surprisingly neat and clean given Dean's tendency to leave clothing draped over the chairs and that there are usually three to four empty cups or bottles sitting on the desk, dresser or nightstand. None of those things are in evidence currently; Dean must have indulged in a cleaning spree while Sam was out. For some reason the cleanliness of the room sparks a sense of urgency in Sam, he turns quickly, intending to head back downstairs and search for his brother, only to see Dean approaching.

Dean is carrying a couple of large, empty boxes. Sam doesn't remember to step out of the doorway until Dean addresses him with a small nod and an almost friendly sounding "s'cuse me".

His motivation for approaching Dean in the first place temporarily overtaken by curiosity, Sam follows him into the bedroom. Apparently Dean either doesn't notice or doesn't care that Sam is there because he doesn't say anything else. Sam leans against the table while he watches Dean place the boxes on the bed then reach above the nightstand and pull down one of the antique weapons that decorate the wall. He watches as Dean wraps the sword in one of the old beat-up towels that he pulled from the box then carefully places the wrapped item in one of the boxes without saying anything. The look of confusion on Sam's face vanishes when Dean moves to the next item on the wall, a different and slightly newer weapon, and proceeds to pull it down and wrap it also. Despite the fact that it has just become very clear what Dean is doing, Sam can't stop himself from actually asking, "Dean, what are you doing?"

The look Dean tosses at him over his shoulder as he goes to add the wrapped item to the box would most likely have been followed by a sarcastic "Why don't you get that big college brain of yours working and see if you can't figure it out, Sammy" a few weeks ago, and accompanied by a teasing grin. Instead Dean turns back towards the box, places the bundle in hand into it, and politely says, "What does it look like I'm doing?"

Sam draws a deep breath. He has a pretty good idea what is coming and he doesn't really want to hear it, but he forces himself to say "Okay, stupid question. I guess the real question is why? Why are you packing up your room?"

Dean drops his right hand to rest at his side while his left hand grips the top of the open box rather tightly, but he doesn't lift his gaze when he says, "I'm kinda busy right now. I was plannin' to tell you tomorrow… Can't this wait 'til morning?"

"I'm here now. Just go ahead and say it. Why wait? What difference will waiting until the morning make?" Sam demands.

Dean's position doesn't change and Sam doesn't think that Dean is going to answer him. Sam feels himself losing control of his anger, so with a forceful push, he moves away from the table and heads towards the door. He hasn't taken more than two steps when he hears Dean clear his throat and say, "Guess you're right, morning won't change anything." Drawing a deep breath, Dean continues, "Soon as Crowley turns over Cain's blade I'm ... I'm hitting the road".

Sam knew Dean was leaving, knew it as soon as he realized Dean was packing but it still hurt to hear him say it. Sam's next words are supposed to be a statement of what he feels is a fact, but he can still hear the question hanging on the end. "And, you don't plan on coming back…?"

Dean is now sitting on the bed, box pushed towards the middle and has his body turned in Sam's direction, but is looking down at his hands which are resting on his thighs. "I don't know. Maybe. There're a few things I need to take care of first-before I can think about that. And besides, I don't belong here; I'm not Men of Letters material…" If Sam didn't know Dean as well as he did, he might have missed the sadness that crept into Dean's last words.

Trying to keep a matching sadness from his own voice Sam replies, "You do belong here, Dean. It's your home".

When Dean shrugs and answers with "It's not home, its work", it takes Sam a few seconds to realize that Dean is echoing his own words from when Dean had asked why Sam hadn't really moved in a few months previous. Once he realizes that, Sam searches what he can see of Dean's face and body language but sees no indication that Dean's words are anything but coincidental. It still feels like a punch to the gut. Sam can feel his emotions starting to boil over. The situation has taken a turn he never expected and he knows he should take a deep breath, take a step back, and think before he says anything else, but he can't seem to control the words coming from his mouth. "So you're just gonna leave again? What about our partnership? What about eighty-sixing Abbadon? Finding Gadreel and Metatron? Helping Cas get the angels back into Heaven? How are we going to do any of that if you run away?" Sam is not quite yelling by the end but his voice has increased in volume with each question and Dean has gotten to his feet in reaction.

There is no denying the anger that is lacing Dean's voice when his own voice rises in answer, "Running away? Really? That's what you think?" Then it quickly turns flat when with a humorless laugh he continues, "Guess I shouldn't be surprised, right Sam? That's what you'd expect from a weak, selfish person like me, huh?"

Sam is completely thrown for a loss at the self-hate that laces his brother's voice. "What?...No!...Dean, I never said...I didn't mean..."

But Dean continues as if Sam isn't trying to speak. "But despite what you think of me, I'm not quitting on any of that. Abbadon's days are numbered. Gadreel's gonna answer for Kevin... Metatron too. Hell, I'll even gank that ass, Crowley, if I get the chance…" Dean's voice trails off for a second, but before Sam can voice the words forming in his heart, Dean continues,and this time Sam doesn't doubt that the words are deliberate. "I don't think of it as running away; I see this more as moving on, or maybe in my case, getting back. I'm getting back to what I'm good at...back where I belong. Anyway what difference does the reason make? Running away, moving on - either way you'll get what you want."

And just like that the crux of the problem is staring them in the face and Sam seizes the best opportunity he's had to make his point. "Oh yeah? And what is it that you think I want Dean? Please enlighten me!"

"Autonomy. Independence. Self-sufficiency. I don't know - whatever you wanna call it. All I know is that you don't want us to be brothers anymore. Just work partners. Fine. I can be your partner from anywhere." There is anger again in Dean's voice but Sam hears the pain and sadness too.

Sam feels the words bubbling up and suddenly doesn't care how they sound; he just has to get them out. "God, you are so stupid sometimes. Do you really think that I would be here if what I wanted was to be away from you?" At Dean's questioning look he continues, "I want you to stop treating me like a kid. I want you to treat me like your equal. I want you to believe in me. I want you to respect me, my choices, and my decisions. I, however, do not want you to leave."

Dean shoots him a disbelieving stare. "Is that what you think? That I don't believe in you? That I don't respect you? Because it's not true. That's not what it's about." Sam sees Dean's shoulders sag as if in defeat and his voice when he speaks again is resigned. "But your are right about me. I'm weak and I'm selfish. I can't do this by myself. I don't want to."

"Then why are you leaving?" Sam asks.

Dean's eyes dart away from Sam's for a second before taking a deep breath then looking Sam in the face again before he seems to blurt out, "Because I can't be here with you and NOT treat you like family. I've been watching out for you since the day Mom brought you home and told me that she just knew I was going to be the best big brother ever. I don't know how I'm supposed to let that go."

The words make Sam wish for just an instant that he could take back everything he's said since learning about Gadreel. He wants to hug Dean and tell him that he doesn't blame him, that he can see that Dean was just trying to live up to the expectations their parents forced on him when he was way too young to comprehend what it entailed. But Sam knows that if he does nothing will ever change, and it will only lead them back around to this point again eventually. So, instead, in as steady a voice as he can muster he says, "You've never told me that before - about Mom. And she wasn't wrong – you have been the best big brother anyone could ever hope to have. The things you've done for me, given me, given up for me. I appreciate them; I can't ever express how much they mean. And I know the things I've said recently have come out all wrong. But I needed to say them. Dean, we can't keep doing this. It only ends up hurting us and the people we care about. You need to let me go."

"How Sam? How do I that?" Dean sounds sincere, like he truly wants Sam to explain how something like that would work.

Sam takes a moment to let the words form because he knows that this is it and then replies, "You let me help you. You stop trying to protect me by carrying everything by yourself. You've done that long enough. Let me stand next to you and help you shoulder the burdens; help you carry the responsibilities. Please, let me help."

"That's not how it's normally supposed work". There is a small smile playing at Dean's lips and Sam thinks Dean is trying to lighten the mood a little, steering them away from what he would consider an awkward or embarrassing emotionally charged 'chick flick' moment with a small bit of ironic humor, a classic Dean move.

An answering smile tugs at Sam's lips because he can feel them starting to slide back towards the comfortable rhythm they have shared most of their lives. "I know, but when have we ever been normal? Can't we at least try?" They are too close to reaching an understanding for him to give in now.

"Okay." With that one simple word Dean turns, reaches into the box, and pulls out one of the weapons and begins to unwrap it. "I can't promise that I'll stand by and let some piece of supernatural shit kill you. But I can promise to try harder to be the brother you want me to be."

A full smile graces Sam face as he says, "I can live with that. I know it won't be easy, but if we work together we can deal with anything right?"

"I'd like to see anyone try to stop us". With that, Dean turns toward the wall and replaces the smaller of the weapons he removed before casually throwing out, "Let me put these back and then we can talk about what I...what we are going to do for dinner."

Sam knows that things are not fixed, not really. They still have a lot to discuss. He understands that they might never be able to actually find a compromise between their needs that works for both of them, but for now he lets it be enough that they are going to try.

Dean's words about dinner remind him that he left groceries on the table and he excuses himself to go take care of putting them away. "I'll see you downstairs in a few, okay?" When he's standing in the open doorway, he turns back and nervously clears his throat. Dean turns his head and gives him a questioning look. Sam tentively says, "Umm...could you do something for me? Can you leave your door open?"

Dean gives him that grin, the one that says he thinks Sam is asking stupidly obvious questions, but only says, "Of course, Sammy".

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