Author's Note: Happy Valentine's Day! And now...the dramatic conclusion to the Adventures of Captain Merman!

In all seriousness, thank you to all who've read and enjoyed this slightly ridiculous story. Who knows, maybe I'll be inspired someday to write more of Captain Merman's wonderful time spent in a tank. DLB48- thank you for all the wonderful beta reading!

"Captain!"

"Lieutenant Uhura," Jim stepped into the lift, momentarily forgetting that he wasn't underwater and didn't need to swim himself in. Belatedly, he attempted to disguise his ungraceful arm movement by leaning against the wall. If that was the worst he had to show for his twelve hour stint of underwater captaincy, he would take it. "Um...how are you?"

"I'm sorry you were confined to a tank. And congratulations. I'm very happy for you both."

"So Carol told you?" He was on his way back to his quarters, having been declared gill-free by Bones. He also had picked up a little something for Carol en route. A souvenir for the day, if you will.

"No," Uhura smiled. "Spock."

Jim cocked an eye at her. "You're on speaking terms with him, now?"

"Yes and I threw out the chocolate," Uhura blushed. "Captain, thank you for what you did."

"What did I do?" He knew. Hearing it from Uhura was so much better. After the day he had, it was nice to know at least one of his ideas had gone smoothly.

"You gave us time to think." She frowned. "Well, me, mostly. I think I was too hard on him."

"You're welcome."

The lift doors opened and Jim stepped out, pondering a quick change of plans. First, he needed to return the earplugs to Sulu. Now that he knew what was behind those tears of Carol, he had no use of them.

"Captain, wait."

"Yes, Uhura?"

"I just wanted you to know, I'm not upset anymore that you ordered me to remain on the beach." Uhura smirked.

"What are captains for?" Jim grinned.

"Next time you decide to purposefully inflict a mutation upon yourself, warn me beforehand," sniffed Carol. "Although, once I calmed down I thought you looked rather cute in the tank. You were like my very own pet fish."

"Merman," he reminded her, wanting her to get it right. "Your very own pet merman."

"Alright," she smiled. "My very own pet...merman."

"About the hacking you did..."

"One of my bad habits."

"Bad habit? No way." Jim exclaimed. She'd proved that she did, indeed, have a habit of hacking many times over since he'd met her. But it was one of the many attributes which he loved. "You have none of those. It was actually adorable the way you wanted to make sure I was okay."

That said, Jim's heart broke a little at Carol's morose expression. She'd defied clear orders to remain outside of that room and it was now making her miserable.

"Shall I write you up? Would that make you feel better?"

She shook her head at his teasing and nestled closer. "James?"

"Yes, mother-of-my-child." Jim still could hardly believe her news. Their news. It was bound to be an adventure.

"I'm sorry to have to say this, but..."

Concerned at the way she trailed off with her statement, Jim glanced down. Instead of the frown he expected, she wore a grin. "I was so relieved when Dr. McCoy refused to examine me."

"That stench was horrendous, wasn't it? I am relieved for you, too, sweetheart." He whispered, handing her a gift wrapped in red paper. "I'm pretty sure I got the better end of the deal. Here. Happy Valentine's Day."

In seconds the gift had been opened and she was looking quite pleased. With a devoted expression, she gazed at him and held the stuffed toy tightly in her arms.

"It's perfect," she exclaimed.

"I know," he replied smugly. He knew she'd love the gift. He'd requested an especially talented seamstress to make it this very evening. Someday, it would grace their child's crib.

It was a perfectly muscled and handsome, eight-inch, stuffed Captain Merman.

"Sulu, I had to interrupt my own Valentine's Day dinner just to give you these stupid things from the Captain." Yeoman Rand shoved the earplugs at him.

"Sorry to hear that," Sulu rolled his eyes and offered them back to her. "Here, do you want them?"

"Why would I want those gross things? They've been in ears, Sulu. Ears!"

"Fine," he shrugged. "Just a warning, though. Chekov got stood up tonight so it may be a bit trying on the bridge tomorrow."

"On second thought," Rand snatched them from the palm of his hand. "I'd love to use them. Thanks."

"No problem." Sulu politely nodded. The yeoman left and Sulu returned to the most perfect Valentine's Day ever- a quiet night in his quarters. His ex-girlfriend had stood up Chekov and then Sulu stood his ground when she approached him, half-crawling and apologetic. He'd accepted her explanation but would talk with her tomorrow, confident that they'd be back together after all. For now, however, he had better plans.

Restoring a friendship.

"Hey, Chekov," said Sulu. "Let's get back to that game."

"I'm sorry, Christine." McCoy sighed as the lights dimmed and they exited sickbay. The next shift was already working but the patients were minimal, or perhaps the crew was still a bit wary that the stench remained in sickbay.

Christine and McCoy's date had been forfeited for the sake of their captain. Not that McCoy begrudged Jim for keeping him occupied for almost the entire evening. It had been McCoy's own stupidity which got him in that ridiculous situation in the first place.

"Think nothing of it, Leonard. It was time worth spent on saving my best friend's husband from life as a fish."

"Merman," McCoy muttered under his breath. Jim had certainly made it clear that's what was going down in the log, even though he never grew a tail. Who was McCoy to judge that?

Christine covered her mouth with both hands as a giggle escaped her.

"Christine," McCoy scowled. Her laughter was about as annoying as his scales had been. Poor Jim. His hands had been as wrinkled as a newborn once he escaped the tank, cured and a completely normal, functioning human again. "It's not funny."

"Yes, it is," came her muffled reply.

"It's not." McCoy's own mouth turned up a bit and he quickly pressed it back into a scowl. "Not funny."

"Captain Merman," she gasped, stopping and clutching McCoy's arm as she doubled over with laughter. "And his...his...fish...doctor..."

"You know, if that's what you think about this, maybe you should go drink the water." He muttered. "Mocking your captain for something he couldn't help. And me. Would serve you right, Nurse Chapel."

"...Dr. McFish..." Christine burst out laughing, ignoring his threats.

McCoy groaned. He would never drink water again. Ever. It was back to all booze.

"If I drink the water, what do you think would happen to me?" Stopping momentarily, Christine peered at him with innocent, wide eyes. "Perhaps I would grow a tail?"

McCoy growled. He stormed away, content to leave the day behind him.

"Dr. McFish?" Christine called after him. "McFish?"

"See you tomorrow, Christine," he replied, tiredly waving goodbye. He knew the date had been too good to be true. If he were to be honest, he hardly cared.

There were bound to be more fish in the sea.