Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

Rewritten: June 25th, 2019.

My newest story. I know the plot is overwritten on ff, but from the ones that I have read, my plot is pretty different. :) It is pretty impossible for me to read all of them, so I hope that it isn't exactly like any other ones. If it is, please let me know and I'll change it?

June 23rd, 2019 A/N: Hi! Simpleeawkard here~

I'm so sorry it's been a while and this is not an update. I was rereading this story because I wasn't sure where and what has happened anymore and honestly got so annoyed by all the typos and where the story has gone. I have soooo many issues with it so I'm going to rewrite it. Hopefully, it won't have as many problems after. :( I'm so sorry.

I feel like the last few chapters have been fairly repetitive and there are many repetitive things in this story. The story also doesn't need to be this many chapters! I feel like when I see a fanfic with 60 chapters I'm like oh no I must avoid this is going to be a lot of reading (haha).

A lot of the storyline will still be the same, don't worry, but there are many things I wrote years ago that I cringe at! So please bear with me as I rewrite this~ Thank you for your patience :D

WARNING: This story contains graphic violence, gore, child abuse, character death, suicide, sexual content, and infidelity.

Chapter 00 | - | Prologue

Chocolate brown eyes stare out the window of an apartment above a weapons store. The owner of those beautiful, yet sad irises is seated near the window, elbow propped on the table and supporting her head. It's raining today. It rarely rains in Konoha. She can barely remember when it last rained. It seems like it only rains when something sad happens. Does someone know how sad she is? Is that why it's raining? Is it a sign?

But even though she can't remember the last time it rained, it feels as if it has been raining for a long time now – at least just to her.

She just wants to scream; she just wants to let out all of her feelings, but she doesn't quite know what she is feeling.

With her free hand, she touches the window. It's cold from the rain. The sky is grey and cloudy. She wraps the fuzzy blanket around herself as if the warmth could comfort her and make it all go away.

When she averts her eyes from the window, she looks back at the photo frame in her lap. There are three other people besides her in the photo – Lee, Gai-sensei, and...Neji.

She can't remember the last time she cried. She always feels like she wants to cry but nothing comes out. There is an unrelenting pressure on her chest, like a vice grip that only gets tighter day by day.

Ever since the day Neji went away, things have never been the same. She knew that Neji always meant a lot to her. She knew that they probably would have ended up together at some point. There was no one else like him for her. He was her one and only and now she feels so lonely. Every day, something is missing. Every day, she feels like she forgot something. Whenever Lee does something funny, she smiles and sometimes even laughs, but then she feels so guilty. Neji should have been there calling Lee out on his antics – and smiling. But he's gone and now she's here alone.

It's not just that she misses Neji too. She hasn't been assigned many missions because there is universal peace right now. There isn't much for her to do and with Gai confined to a wheelchair and Lee recently making Jonin without her, she just feels restless, yet tired at the same time. She knows she should be training to catch up to Lee, but she doesn't feel motivated at all. Even if she were to make Jonin, Neji wouldn't be on her team anymore. Her team could never feel complete ever again.

Her weapons shop isn't doing too well – also a consequence of peace, but she doesn't want to complain about that. If she were getting missions, she would have been fine. But because her weaponry services and her shinobi services aren't being utilized, how is she supposed to make a living? Genin take the simple, D-rank missions and Naruto, the multitasker he is, takes many of the B-rank and C-rank missions in an effort to further improve his diplomacy. S-rank and A-ranks go to Jonins and ANBU, leaving her and other Chunin in a strange limbo.

Some days are better than others, but none of her current days could compare to the days before Neji left forever.

She knows that they all fought long and hard for what they have now, but she can't forget all the bloodshed she witnessed.

The war was horrible. Months have passed. Konoha is on the road to recovery, but she remains broken.

She has tried to get better. Lee, Gai-sensei and a few of the Konoha 12 (because dammit, just because Neji was gone doesn't mean the number becomes 11 again) have tried to help her, but, as soon as she was alone again, she would revert back to this shell of a person.

She has watched as everyone moved on. Despite wanting to be the one to hold Neji's photo at the funeral after the war, she understood why a Hyuuga had to be the one to do it. She's not part of the clan and now she never will be. She doesn't know how Neji felt about her. No one else knew about their first kiss except for her. No one else knew about the times that they would hesitantly interlock their fingers when out on a stroll at night. She could still hear his heartbeat as he leaned in to kiss her like he's still here, but no one knew. It was the only time they kissed and she can never forget it. They never defined their relationship, but they didn't think they needed to. They thought they had all the time in the world. All she could do was stand at the side as the Hyuuga mourned.

She wasn't allowed to stand at the front with Hinata, Hanabi, and their family. She wasn't allowed to stand with Naruto, Ino, Shikamaru, and Chouji because she wasn't a hero like they were. Despite how much she meant to Neji, did she actually mean that much if no one else knew? Despite how much she did during the war, does it really matter if she wasn't hailed a hero like the rest of them? Does it really matter if no one cares how much she did? It seems like nothing she ever did was enough.

She knows that Neji's death affected her whole team, not just her, but she sometimes feels as if she is the only one that still cares. She knows that it affected all of Konoha 12, but when she sees Hinata laughing with Naruto and going on dates, she wonders if she's the only one who still misses him.

But she doesn't want to think that way because it's not fair to the others.

Whenever she goes out, she feels as if people are laughing at her. It's hateful, but she can't help it. Nobody remembers Neji like she does. People are still smiling and happy. She was fine with everything at first, but the more she thought about it, the more she thought that Madara did not get what he deserved.

Tears form around her eyes for the first time in a while.

Would people care if she were gone? If they barely care that Neji, the prodigy, is gone, why would they care if she were gone?

Tears stream down her face.

She raises a hand to her long hair and pushes her overgrown bangs away from her face as she cries harder. She knows that her tears don't do anything – her tears won't bring him back.

But she can't help it. What is she supposed to do now? She has no missions, no customers, no Neji.

She doesn't know what to do. She doesn't know where to go from here.

She has been lost ever since the end of the war. She has lost sight of her goals and can't even remember what they were anymore. She doesn't have the chakra control, like Sakura, to become the next Tsunade. She doesn't have the drive and vitality as Lee, like Gai, to keep going. She doesn't have anything. She's broken.

She looks at Neji's face in the photograph.

Like a bird, he had flown away.

She didn't even get to say goodbye to him. She didn't get to see his last smile like Hinata and Naruto did. She doesn't even remember their last words to each other. It probably was something mundane like 'duck!' or something.

If she were to die right now, would she be together with him again? Would she be able to talk to him again? See him again? Maybe even hold his hand again?

Who would cry for her like she is for Neji? Would anyone even care?

Everyone is so preoccupied that they barely even care about her.

She looks out the window again.

The dreary sky seems as if it is encouraging her.

With some final tears, she gets up from her seat against the window. Wrapping the blanket around her tighter, she takes some steps to her nightstand, where her beloved weapons lay.

She can't remember why she loved them so much.

She can't remember what she had hoped to achieve in all of this.

With Neji, every part of her, except her body, had died along with him.

She grasps the kunai tightly in her hands. Desperate to feel something, anything but the sadness in her heart and the heavy feeling in her chest, she rakes the freshly sharpened kunai against her wrists, letting her blood fall to the ground.

She doesn't feel the cuts – she should have known she wouldn't. She hasn't felt anything but loss since he left. But her hands move on their own and she can't stop herself.

She watches as the blood slips down her arms and to the ground, pooling at her feet. She sees it and she hears it, but it feels unreal to her. The drips sound like seconds ticking by.

At some point, she can't see it or hear it anymore.

Please review~ :) Chapter 1 should be uploaded soon.