Disclaimer: I don't own KHR or any of the characters. Just mine.

The Varia are the Vongola Family's elite Independent Assassination Squad. They are composed of genius assassins who work in the deepest recesses of the Mafia. Each member takes on missions that are said to be impossible to accomplish by humans. Those that see them work often say that their high-level assassination skills are demonic.

Those are the words of strangers. They aren't really lies but they aren't the whole truth. That is how a stranger would describe us. A much easier way to describe us, the Varia that is, would just be to say that we're a group of crazy people with crazy hobbies and terrible personalities. In the words of a religious priest that once saw us argue in the middle of the street, we are "the embodiment of the Seven Deadly Sins."

Our boss, Xanxus, is the demon of wrath or fury. I mean… just look at the guy, he loves throwing things at people and takes amusement in watching people suffer. Strategy Captain Squalo is a prideful monster who obviously believes in his skills more than anyone else's and considers himself to be the Sword Emperor after killing the old one. Prince the Ripper, Belphegor, is apparently a sloth just because he's a little apathetic when it comes to other people's pain and suffering. Why should he have to concern himself with other people in the first place? Mammon is obviously the paragon of greed. When the boss signs our paychecks, Mammon is the first to complain about how it's never enough even though we get paid a hefty amount. Levi is obviously the most envious guy you could ever meet. Seriously, he gets jealous when the boss just looks at someone. Why would he be jealous of that? I hate it when the boss looks at me. It means I'm in trouble or he's debating on whether or not to kill me for fun. Lussuria is obviously matched up with lust… I mean… just look at the guy. He works in a field filled with good looking men… and he's gay. Not that there's anything wrong with being gay… just saying, that's the reason people consider him lustful.

So what's wrong with me? Just ask Squalo. He's the type of person to yell at the top of his lungs every single time I try to indulge in just a little bit of fun.

"VOII! YOU EAT TOO MUCH! DAMN GLUTTON! STOP FEEDING HER!" Superbi Squalo was screaming at the top of his lungs, the volume of his voice was starting to shake the windows in the Varia headquarters.

"Shishishi." Belphegor snickered, holding up another plate of steak, "If I feed her enough, do you think she'll inflate like a balloon and explode?"

"I'm not paying for the carpet cleaning." Mammon voiced his concern for his wallet rather than me but that's okay.

"VOII! THIS IS WHY THE BOSS THROWS THINGS AT US! SHE ALWAYS EATS ALL HIS FOOD!" Squalo roared.

"If I eat like that will the boss acknowledge me?" Levi murmured.

"Kira-chan, you should eat in a more refined way." Lussuria scolded me for no reason. I think I eat in a perfectly refined way.

"VOIII!"

"Shut up already!" I stuffed a slice of ham between his lips and removed my hand before he could bite it off, "If you ate like me you wouldn't be so pissy all the time, you damn herbivore."

"VOII!" Squalo screamed, pointing his sword hand at my throat, "I'm going to cut you open in a minute! HIBARI KIRA!"

I stared at the cut of ham that was disappearing into his mouth even as he threatened me, "Squalo-senpai… You ate it too. We're accomplices now."

And before he could say voi again, I stuffed one of my precious slices of bacon in his mouth, "Hey! Someone bring me more bacon!"

"Shishishi." Belphegor laughed as our strategy captain mumbled something incomprehensible through the slice of wonderful bacon I had so graciously given him.

"SHUT UP, TRASH!"

Oh… Well here comes our boss. Everyone took a seat as the boss entered the dining room. I eyed him warily maybe I glared at him for a moment or two but hey, he started it. It seems that the boss was in a bad mood for some reason. It could be that he was still feeling off after those eight years in an icy imprisonment or he could just be mad that Squalo-senpai is a jerk.

"Trash." Xanxus stared straight at me as he said it, "Stop eating or I'll kill you."

"I'll share." I nibbled quietly on my bacon and ham, "Do you want the steak, boss?"

Bastard. Damn. If only he wasn't the boss here, I might've kept eating. HEY! I love food more than anyone and you might think that I'm a traitor for abandoning my food just because my boss told me too but you try it! When Xanxus glares you down, you have no choice but to obey. If it makes any of my fellow food lovers feel any better, I nibbled on my bacon for the longest time. I only stopped because the boss threw his empty wine glass at me.

"We're going to Japan." Xanxus blurted as bluntly as usual. He didn't find the need to explain himself nor did he find his request unreasonable so he just continued with, "Get on the plane now. I refuse to sit with garbage like you so make sure to sit at the back of the plane or I'll throw you off. Take your rings while you're at it."

O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O

"Shitty boss." Squalo grumbled, lugging about a million tons of the boss' high quality vodka onto the plane under the orders of Xanxus himself.

"Shut up and carry more." Levi grunted, "If the boss wants more we should get more."

"I need more ham, Levi." I complained.

"He said if the boss wants more, not if stupid Kira wants more." Squalo snapped, "Why aren't you helping?!"

"Lussuria said that a lady shouldn't have to carry those things." I repeated what Lussuria had said to me only moments ago.

"Huh? Speaking of Lussuria… where did he go?" Squalo grunted, haphazardly letting the crates of vodka hit the airplane floor.

"There." I said, turning my head toward the okama sitting at the back of the plane with a magazine in his hands.

"VOIIII! YOU'RE A MAN! COME CARRY THE BOSS' DRINKS!" Squalo roared.

"Ara how rude." Lussuria crowed, "I'm a lady at heart."

"THEN WHY ARE BEL AND MAMMON SITTING THERE WITH YOU?! THEY'RE MEN!"

"Oh Squ-chan. You really don't get it, do you?"

"Get what?"

I could already see where this was going and I didn't like it. At the end of this path, was an airplane ride to a whole different continent filled with Squalo's screaming and Xanxus' fury.

"You can't make the younger children carry those things. That is supposed to be left to the older brothers." Lussuria said it like it was the most obvious thing ever.

"VOIIII!" Squalo screeched out, "WE AREN'T FAMILY!"

"Technically we are." I said, suddenly making myself the receiver of Squalo's growls, "Vongola Family, right?"

"You say some good thing every once in a while, short trash." Xanxus just couldn't give me the compliment so he had to throw that insult in there.

Let me tell you all something. I'm not short. I'm just shorter than Xanxus. 5 foot 2 isn't short. If I ever hear any of you say I'm short… let's just say that I'm in a special assassination squad for a reason. And-?!

"Haha! The boss is right. You're short trash." Levi was always agreeing with Xanxus, even if he wasn't saying good things. But that's not always a good thing for Levi.

My foot went up instantly and nearly cracked his shin open. He let out a scream and nearly folded himself in half trying to make sure his bone was still solid so I took the time to pull my weapon onto my hands. Why? So I could bring it down over his head. Let's just say, Levi was out cold until the plane ride was nearly over and Squalo had to load up the rest of the stuff by himself.

Normally, I wouldn't choose to sit next to our strategy captain for a long plane ride but I knocked out Levi so Xanxus decided that he would watch me suffer and made me sit next to Squalo. Oh don't misunderstand. Xanxus could care less that I nearly smashed Levi's head open with my titanium gauntlets. He's just a sadist that takes pleasure in other people's pains. Speaking of sadists, we have another one behind us.

"Ushishishi." Bel snickered as he tried to cut the ends of Squalo's hair with his knives.

"VOIII! STOP IT BEFORE I SLIT YOUR THROAT, SCUM!"

I groaned and leaned further away from our loudmouthed captain but it only made Belphegor laugh more.

"Squ-chan." Lussuria shook his head as he scolded him, "Be more considerate of your seatmate."

Squalo glared at me, sinking down into his seat with a subconscious yet stubborn pout on his lips, "I hate you all."

"I love Lussuria." I cheered.

"I'm just a lovable person." Lussuria was beaming, his ego starting to get to him.

"So…" I mumbled as the okama turned back to his magazine, "Why didn't you manage to get the rings? You could've checked whether they were fake or not on the spot, right? What pushed you to run so fast?"

"I didn't run." Squalo growled, "I just had to make a strategic retreat. Haneuma (Bucking Bronco) Dino was there."

"Oh? Dino?" I scowled at the sound of his name, "Squalo-senpai ran away from our Dino?"

"VOI!" He screeched, "I didn't run away!"

The plane was just starting to even out so I bent over by knees to reach for the bag of food on the floor. My first snack was a family sized bag of chips.

"You… If you eat that much, why don't you grow?" Squalo shook his head in contempt, his hand automatically going up to stop me from reaching for my gauntlets, "You've been the same height since our school days."

That's right. It's no big deal but Squalo and I went to the same school for a while. So did Dino. Only thing is, they were a year older. Squalo was always a noisy, scowling jerk and Dino was Dino. I came here as an exchange student with terrible Italian but Dino spoke English and Japanese so he helped me out. That's how we got close. A lot of things happened since then, one of the most important things being that I found out Dino was in the mafia, and he stopped talking to me. That was nearly nine years ago. He used to be my best friend here. Pretty sad, right?

Squalo looked me up and down and said, "You won't get to talk much. He's playing for the other side."

"Who else is on the other side?" I asked.

"No clue." He shrugged, "What are the chances that your brother is one of Sawada's guardians?"

"Oh? Are you trying to comfort me?" I laughed, munching down another handful of chips.

"NO WAY! Who would comfort trash like you?" He growled in my ear.

I laughed some more and stuffed a chip between his teeth, "You're so lovable."

Squalo's eyebrow twitched at the very word. Lovable is not something a man would enjoy being called. I had obviously jabbed at his overflowing pride and he didn't like it.

I wasn't really concerned with whether or not I had hurt his pride but I decided I would be nice for once and fix it, "You're so manly, Squalo-senpai."

He grunted and for once didn't complain about my choice in adjectives.

Mammon floated his way over to sit on my head and he looked down at the half-ring on my finger, "How much do you think these are worth?"

"They're priceless." I grinned, awkwardly holding a chip above my head for Mammon.

"Do I have to pay for your food?" The Arcobaleno joked, taking the offering with both of his tiny hands.

"You can pay with victory over whoever has the other half of that ring." I peeked into my nearly empty bag of chips and decided to pass it back to Bel and Lussuria, "For you guys."

"I'm a prince. Why should I have to eat your leftovers?" Belphegor demanded, "Give me a new one."

"Boss!" I whistled up to the front of the plane without complying to Bel's demands, "Do you want beef jerky?"

Xanxus didn't even look back, he just held up his hand lazily. I had known the boss long enough to know that when his empty hand went up that meant he wanted some. The other option was that he would hold up his gun and shoot the person who dared to talk to him when he was in a bad mood but today he wasn't in a terribly nasty mood. He was probably excited that we were going to go on a hunt as soon as we touched down.

I turned my body towards Squalo, who was sitting in the aisle seat, and held up the bag of preserved meat with a smile.

"Lazy piece of trash." Squalo growled, snatching the bag from my hands to deliver it to our boss at the front of the plane before stomping back into his seat, "Do it yourself next time!"

"Hey… You're his right hand man." I shrugged, "Not my problem."

"Doesn't rain deliver things to the sky anyways?" Lussuria mused.

"VOI! Rain falls out of the sky!" Squalo screamed, turning to point at my Vongola half-ring, "CLOUDS DELIVER THINGS TO THE SKY!"

"Noo…. Rain falls out of the clouds!" I protested, "Clouds just float around and do whatever they want till they get filled by water and then rain falls again and the cycle starts over!"

"Ushishishi." Bel snickered, "The sky is supposed to hold you peasants up so it doesn't matter what you all do. Without the sky you would both die."

"DON'T LECTURE US!" Squalo and I snapped at the same time, "WITHOUT RAIN AND CLOUDS THERE CAN'T BE ANY STORMS!"

"Ohh?" Mammon grabbed onto my hair lightly to keep himself from falling off as I snapped my head around to glare at Prince the Ripper, "Such a loud voice from such a small body."

"YOU'RE SMALLER THAN ME!" I growled but I would never hit Mammon. No one in their right mind would hit Mammon. He was a baby for crying out loud!

"Children. Children." Lussuria shushed us, "No fighting."

"Don't call me a child!" I grabbed a stick of salami and threw it at our sun guardian.

"TRASH!" Xanxus roared, "Give me whiskey! Now!"

"Get it yourself!" Squalo snapped.

The rest of us just sat their lazily, looking at our strategy captain expectantly.

"VOI! YOU HEARD HIM!" The loudmouthed swordsman screamed, "WHY ISN'T ANYONE MOVING?!"

"It's the older brother's job to carry things." Lussuria giggled.

"Ushishishi." Bel snickered, "The boss likes you the most."

"I won't do it unless you pay me." Mammon drawled.

"He said trash…." I shrugged, "That means you, Squalo-senpai."

"HE CALLS ALL OF US TRASH!" Squalo protested loudly.

Xanxus let out an impatient growl and spun around in his seat to point his gun in our general direction, "Whiskey. Now."

Only Squalo had the balls to make eye contact with our boss or maybe I should say that he was the only one stupid enough to make eye contact with our boss. The rest of us just pretended that we didn't hear a word he said and that automatically made the boss' servant for the moment, Squalo.

"Voi." Squalo grumbled, slipping out of his seat to get a bottle of alcohol for the boss but he made sure that everyone knew he didn't like it by stepping on Levi's body as he stomped to the back of the plane to get to the crates.

"Poor guy." Lussuria shook his head, "Levi never doesn't anything wrong."

"That's what he gets for liking the boss so much." I laughed, "We can't beat up the boss so Levi gets it in his place."

"That's because the boss is a sadist and Levi is a masochist." Bel snickered.

"You're a sadist too, aren't you?" Lussuria giggled, "I could personally go either way. Kira-chan is a sadist too, right?"

I never really thought about it but I don't really like pain so I guess that means I prefer to inflict pain than feel it myself, "I guess so."

"Squ-chan must be an M." He snickered.

"VOI! STOP TALKING ABOUT PEOPLE WHEN THEY'RE NOT AROUND!" Squalo roared as he got back into his seat.

"Then we'll talk about you now." Bel snickered, "You're annoying."

"HUH?! I'll kill you!"

"Shishishi."

"Squ-chan, calm down."

"Ow! Fucking Squalo-senpai! That's my leg!"

"I'll make you pay me if you come near me!"

And that's how we spent the rest of the ride to Japan.