He can't look at her. She is laying ten feet away from him, slowly dying and he can't even bring himself to look at her. He just keeps looking at Coulson. She would never have gone in there alone, if she wasn't trying to be like Coulson. Quinn had hurt her to get to Coulson. To punish Coulson. When the rage gets to be too much he walks out. There is nothing for him in the lab, except death watch. And he can't even look at her, covered in blood, white as a ghost, all the joy and life and happiness that is Skye already poured out of her on the floor of that basement. He doesn't want to see what's left.

He doesn't want to see but he does. Every time he closes his eyes, the image of her trying to literally hold herself together comes to his mind. She had been so strong. He remembers seeing the drag marks she left in her blood as she made her way to the door. He knows that she had fought hard to live, but it won't be enough.

When May follows him out, he tries to reign in his temper. Skye isn't the only one who fought to live today, but when he thinks about her injury, his mind goes back to the scene between her and Coulson. When he had offered to help her, she had brushed him off, but then he found Coulson stitching her back up. He knew as soon as he saw the look they were sharing, that she was using him as much as he was using her. So when she tries to make him feel better, he lashes out. He doesn't need her to give him a pep talk. What he needs is for Coulson to stop looking at that damn case like he loves the women inside.

Coulson doesn't love her. If he did, he would not send her on dangerous missions with a target on her back. He would have made sure she was protected. But it is too late now. Simmons is rushing around fiddling with things and speaking robotically, but he knows that there is no way she will survive this. There is no way any one could survive.

He walks to his bunk, but when he sits down, his hands move to run through his hair, and he notices the red stains covering them. His hands are covered in Skye's blood. It was only a matter of time, he thinks. He had tried to keep her at arm's length, but it was only a matter of time before he was covered in her blood. Because that is what happens when Grant Ward cares about someone, they die.

He is in the bathroom scrubbing his hands, when he sees it. There sitting on the sink, not stored properly as it should be, is her locket. The locket she wore the day they picked her up from her van. He pops it open, expecting to see a picture of a mother or grandmother, but inside there is nothing but an engraving, God is Love. He runs a thumb over the words, before snapping the locket closed and slipping it into his pocket. She won't miss it. She won't miss anything ever again, but he will miss her. He is pretty sure he would have missed her even if they had never met.

He goes to the briefing room to monitor Quinn. It is taking everything in him, not to go into that room and end his career. His hand slips into his pocket and rubs the locket. God is Love. He remembers what she said in the hotel bar in Ireland. If it helped I would rage all the time, but it doesn't. Killing Ian Quinn won't bring Skye back. Killing Ian Quinn will only take the last bit of his soul. So Quinn will live to see another day, because at least if he lives then they might get some information from him. If Quinn lives and they can take down Centipede and the Clairvoyant, then Skye doesn't die in vain. So for today he lives, but only today.

He switches the main feed to the lab. Simmons is still doing what she can but there is not much she can do. Fitz is typing furiously on his tablet, then the chamber, then the tablet again. May is watching Coulson. He doesn't know how he missed the way she looks at him before, it seems so obvious now. Coulson hasn't moved an inch. If it were physically possible, Ward is sure that he would not even blink, but it won't change a thing.

He still doesn't look at her. Even through the view of a camera he does not want to see her take her last breath. And it has to be coming soon. Any minute now his world will have one less thing that matters. One less thing that keeps him moving forward, and he wonders if it will still be enough when he knows she is gone.

When they land a little while later, Skye is taken away quickly. Coulson, Simmons and Fitz go with her. He offers to stay with Quinn. Coulson orders May to stay too, though he isn't sure if it is to watch Quinn or himself. Honestly, he doesn't care.

May tries to start a conversation once, but he doesn't bother to acknowledge her. They were never much for talking. As soon as the word crosses his mind, he feels the bile raising in his throat. He doesn't talk to May. He talks to Skye. He wants to talk to Skye.

He wants to tell her about the time Joey caught a bullfrog. They kept it hidden in the basement for almost a month. It wasn't until Gramsy went to check the breaker after a power outage that they were caught and had to take it back to the pond. He wants to ask her if she ever had a pet. He always saw her as a cat person. Not that she was like one of those crazy ladies with fifteen cats, but she always reminded him of a cat when she curled up next to him on the couch. He will miss that too.

He always complains about her lack of personal space, but secretly he is happy when she tucks herself right next to him. He complains when she is late. He complains when she dances around him as they go through their morning workout. In hindsight, he complains a lot when it comes to her, but she never lets herself be pushed away. For every time he tries to create distance, she takes a step closer, but not anymore. He finally has the distance he wanted, because now he thinks he might never see her again.

When Coulson comes back, he is surprised to see Ward is still in the briefing room, watching Quinn. It takes him a moment to realize that Ward isn't looking at Quinn at all. Ward isn't looking at anything.

"Agent Ward," Coulson says in his most authoritative tone.

In an instant, Ward snaps to. Coulson can tell by the look on the younger man's face that he is waiting for bad news.

"Skye made it out of surgery, but there is no way to tell if there will be lasting brain damage until she wakes up. They tried to wake her but she has slipped into a coma," Coulson starts. Ward refuses to make eye contact. Coulson heaves out a breath, it's now or never. "There is something you don't know about Skye, Agent Ward. Something that is so classified that only five people know what I am about to tell you."

Ward looks at him intently.

"Skye is an 0-8-4," Coulson says quietly, even here he is afraid someone might be listening.

"Sir, I think there has been some mistake. A person can't be an 0-8-4," Ward replies in disbelief.

"There is no mistake. There is absolutely no record of Skye, until an entire SHIELD team was murdered trying to extract an 0-8-4 from a massacred village in China. When the backup arrived all that was left was a baby girl, our girl," Coulson stops again, waiting to see how the straight laced Agent takes the information.

Ward opens his mouth, but closes it again. He chews on his cheek for a moment.

"What does that mean for Skye? Will regular treatments work on her?" Ward finally asks. All he cares about now, is that she still might have a fighting chance. If she is truly unknown, she might just be able to survive.

Coulson smiles. This is exactly what he was hoping Ward would ask.

"This is Skye's file. Thin, I know, but from what I gather, SHIELD is working on something that just might be able to help her."

"But the problem is?"

"Very astute, Agent Ward. The problem is that the serum is in a top secret facility. It is heavily guarded, and we can't get SHIELD to give it to us without exposing Skye's secret."

"Which will lead to another Project Pegasus," Ward surmises.

"Exactly," Coulson agrees. "In the file is all the intel we have on the facility. Wheels are up in 5. You have about an hour to prepare."

"What about Skye, are just going to leave her here unprotected?" Ward asks.

"Skye is already on the plane. We moved things around and set her up in the storage area. You can visit her if you want, but be ready for the mission in an hour."

"Of course, Sir."

May is sitting with her when he finally makes his way down, file in hand. He is surprised to see that she is holding Skye's hand. He wonders what May is saying to her, but he doesn't want to interrupt, so he waits just outside the door. He still can't look at her. He can't let himself believe that she might not be gone after all.

"You read the file?" May asks without turning around.

"Yeah, how long have you known?"

"A while," she answers vaguely. "I have to go land the plane. You have about ten minutes."

She pats him on the shoulder as she walks by, pushing him into the room he had been teetering on the threshold of. He feels very uncomfortable as he takes the seat May just vacated. Usually Skye does most of the talking. He remembers when he was raging on the staff and screamed at her about talking. Now he would pay almost anything to hear her drone on about whatever dumb gadget she just heard about. Heck, she could read to phone book for all he cares, as long as they don't have anymore of this deafening silence.

In front of him sits her small hand. It looks almost the same as it did yesterday when he was wrapping it for training. If he hadn't seen her on the ground in a pool of her own blood, he would just think she need a little more sun. But he can't look at her, because she doesn't need sun. She needs some super-secret serum he is about to go steal for her.

He takes her hand, but it is cold, so he starts to rub it, focusing on the only part of her he can actual look at.

"Everything is going to be okay, Skye. I am going to go get you some medicine and everything is gone to go back to normal," he says, though he knows it isn't true. They will never go back, because he will never forget what she looks like dead.

Coulson calls on the overhead. They are ready.

"I have to go now," he says. "Just try not to die while I'm gone."

The mission goes perfectly right up until they find out that the building is set to be flattened by C4 any minute. He can't believe he is not going to get the serum back to her. This was their last hope. Without this serum, Skye might never wake up. Unless he can deactivate the detonation device, he has failed her.

He looks at a million wires, but there isn't time. He says the shortest prayer in his life, three words and pulls the blue wire. The countdown stops.

"We have about a minute to get out of here before that thing decides to go off anyway," Ward says to men with him. "Move out!"

He waits by her side for fourteen hours after she is given the serum, but he ever looks beyond her hand, not even when he hears her voice.

"I think you missed your calling, Robot. Your hands are good at more than just punching," she teases wiggling her fingers in his grasp. Before her comment he hadn't even realized he was rubbing it again.

"I… I was just…"he mumbles, dropping her hand.

She frowns at the missing contact, but she tries to draw him out again, "So, do I get out of PT now?"

"I think it is fair to say you won't be working out anytime soon," he answers seriously, looking out the door.

"Yay! Ow, son of a Winchester, you lied Ward. Getting shot hurts like hell," she whines.

"I had a skin deep graze, Skye. You… you almost…" he looks at the ground.

"Go on, you can say it, I almost died. But I didn't, so what now?"

"Now, I go let the team know you are awake," he stands, eyes on door again.

"But I'm in pain," she whines. "You can't just leave me here."

"Simmons would be the one to talk to about pain meds," he returns, as he walks toward the door.

"Ward," she calls but it doesn't stop him.

"Grant," she demands.

He stops, hackles up.

"Will you please just look at me for minute? I was laying there dying, and I was trying so hard to call for help, and all I could think was what if no one was coming, because you were already dead," she admits, choking on the words. "I just need you to look at me, so I know you are still here."

He turns around slowly, unable to ignore her plea. His eyes start at the foot of the bed and work their way up to her face. He looks at her and for a moment they are not agent and 0-8-4. They are just Skye and Ward. Friends. There is a little color in her cheeks, but what makes him move back to her is her eyes. Her eyes are bright and cheerful as ever. They are interrupted by Simmons, coming to check on the patient, but it doesn't matter now, because he can look at her again. And he likes what he sees.

a/n: so I was thinking about doing a companion of skye's thoughts from when she got shot to this ending, let me know if you would be interested. Also thank Little-Angry-Kitten for this fic as she asked me how I felt about TRACKS. and this was what came out. if you notice. in the bus, Ward is on the far side of the lab, I was just kept thinking, he cant look at her. Thanks for reading!