She loved Atlantis from the moment she got there. There was something so peaceful about the city she enjoyed and gave her a sense of peace she'd been needing for a while now. There was no space in the SGC and no air, and in her ten years there she had never felt claustrophobic but she couldn't imagine going back underground now. Even working in the Atlantean laboratories was more open than the SGC, although she did miss her own equipment and her usual brand of coffee.

She knew there was something she'd forgotten to pack. There always was.

She nursed the coffee Rodney had given her – which, she had noted, was incredibly sweet of him – and looked out over the ocean.

"Out here again?" John asked, walking up behind her and standing at her shoulder.

"Ten years in that mountain Colonel," she said, looking up at him. He smiled and she slid across the bench making room for him to sit. He didn't right away, walking up to the railings and looking out over the city for a moment. "You did good today John."

He didn't reply, but turned around.

"So did you."

She hadn't really done much, she thought, just had the equipment sent over from Earth but wasn't really up for debating it. Mostly she wanted to enjoy the last of her coffee before she went and finished writing her letter to Kate Heightmeyer's parents.

If she went back and finished it tonight.

She thought maybe she could sleep again.

"Had any more thoughts about us going back to look for Elizabeth?" he asked, coming to sit next to her on the bench.

She sighed. She hadn't. She may have settled in and even rode through her first real emergency but all that had meant was that she hadn't had time to think about Elizabeth Weir.

She suspected that John did nothing but think about her.

"No," she admitted.

"No you haven't thought about it or no we can't go?" he asked.

"Both."

"Sam, God knows what the Replicators are doing to her."

"I understand John, she was my friend too."

"And you've been kidnapped by Replicators too, I know, I'm sorry, I just hate sitting here doing nothing while she's out there," he said jumping up. "She was good to us, to this city."

She nodded. She knew how good Elizabeth was at her job, she knew. She kinda wished she was here doing it instead of Sam right now, because then she wouldn't be breaking John Sheppard's heart right now. The man sat back down and sighed.

"I really am sorry John," she said.

They were silent for a long while, just watching the lights changing in the city and the waves hitting the walls. It was lovely, or would be, if their conversation wasn't hanging over their heads still. If Elizabeth Weir's life wasn't hanging over their heads. Sam really did know how John felt, and knew what the woman could be suffering right now.

Thinking about it made her feel a little sick and she shuddered. John looked at her and frowned.

"Bad memories?" he asked. She barely heard him over the crash of the waves but nodded. "Sorry," he added.

"Not your fault," she said, forcing out a smile. "And we will find her, but when we can find her and all come back in one piece. Preferably without further psychological damage too."

He smiled at that. She knew he had enough damage of his own. This life was full of it's own special little pitfalls and Sam and John had pretty much fallen into every single one. She liked to think she was doing okay though. She was still standing at the end of the day.

Metaphorically.

"Thanks Sam," he said.

He felt better knowing she would at least let them try, eventually, and she was glad she could at least give him that even if she couldn't give him his friend back just yet.

Or whatever sort of relationship he had with her.

"I should get some sleep," he said, not moving. "So should you."

"I will."

He smiled and stood, holding his hand out for hers.

"Now," he said, the order not quite hidden in his joking tone as he smiled again. "Colonel," he added, just in case and she smiled back.

Sam let John pull her upright, falling into him when she caught her foot on the bench and fell into him. He laughed and helped her to stand up straight again.

"Thanks John," she said, still holding his hand for another moment and asking him the million dollar question, "what sort of relationship did you have with Elizabeth?"

It scared her a little how quickly his demeanour could change – she really didn't know him that well – and he shook her hand away and stepped out of her orbit. She sighed and reached out to him again, a hand on his shoulder when he wouldn't move.

"She is my friend. And one of the only people to really believe in me during my entire life," he snapped.

"I should never have asked," she said. "It's none of my business and I should never have asked."

"Then why did you?" he said, relaxing just a little under her hand, "Why does everyone ask?"

"I can't speak for anyone else, but I guess, I can't..." she paused, "never mind."

He stared her down, with that intense sadness he always had beneath everything he did that she couldn't quite figure out, but hoped she could eventually.

"I was just curious," she said.

She had her reasons, but she was his CO and in charge of the entire city and when she didn't explain any further he smiled at her.

"Ask McKay the same question," he said, with a little grin.

"Weir and McKay!" she said. "Really?"

"I'm not saying anything."

"Weir and McKay."

She couldn't quite believe that a woman she respected so much could have any sort of personal relationship with the man she found the most annoying in two galaxies but Sheppard was still grinning at her and had no reason to mess with her. Not over this.

"Come on, you need to sleep," he said, hitching his shoulder towards the door. She smiled and followed him back into the city. They walked slowly, neither of them really in a hurry. Sleep would make her feel better, but only delay the inevitable and she had a lot to do in the morning. She would like to enjoy what time she had left before the next crisis.

They got to her room and she opened it; Johns eyes doing a quick scan behind her. It wasn't much different from his own she imagined, though perhaps the bed was bigger. Plainer too, she hadn't been in the city long enough to accumulate anything, or decorate much.

"Well, good night Colonel," he said, "see you in the morning." He nodded and went to walk away when Sam grabbed his arm to stop him.

"I really am sorry I asked," she said.

"It's okay. You're not the first and you won't be the last."

She frowned at that, felt bad for just adding to the list of people that assumed the man was sleeping with his friend. With a woman he cared about. A woman he loved but was missing.

"I'm sorry," she repeated, softer this time.

"I said it's fine," he said with a laugh.

"No, I mean about Elizabeth," she said, "I'm sorry she's gone and I'm sorry we haven't gone after her yet."

"It's okay," he told her, leaning forward, "we'll find her. I know it."

The confidence in that statement was beautiful and she leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek.

"We will," she said, pulling back to smile warmly at him. He looked at her for a moment, eyes moving slowly over her face before he leaned in and kissed her on the lips. She panicked, this was an open area, in a city full of people and she was his commanding officer and she definitely should not be kissing him. If she could go around kissing subordinates or superiors, then she could think of at least three people she would've kissed in the past twenty years.

She wasn't stopping though, and she wasn't pushing him away. His lips moved over hers, insistent and warm. She tried to bite back a moan, but it escaped her and he kissed her harder, hands drifting up into her hair and he started to pull it free. Sam was pretty sure this was going too far already, and way too far for the open doorway of her room except he was pressed hard against her now and it felt so satisfying already.

He urged her back into back into her room, and waving his arm behind him to try and shut the door, making her laugh against his lips. She pulled away from him, and closed the door for him. She took a step back when he approached her again. She'd closed the door for privacy, yes, but not necessarily so he could kiss her again.

Even if she wanted to.

"We can't do this John," she said, hoping she sounded more commanding than she felt. She felt like someone had lit a low fire inside her.

"Maybe," he said.

She just wanted a little peace and quiet before all hell broke loose again in the city. Though this felt like that next crisis.

"You should go get some sleep," she told him.

"I won't forget this," he told her, kissing her again, long and languid, wrapping his arms around her and holding her close. Sam wasn't going to forget either and decided to make the most of it, pressing herself into him from hip to shoulder making him moan. She ran her hands into his hair and gripped on the brown strands as she kissed back hard and desperate for a moment. She came to the edge of what she could take without pulling him over to her bed and spending the entire night pressed against him like this and a perhaps a number of other ways too. She pushed him away with a gasp, breathing too hard. John was the same, lips red and breathing ragged, and watching her chest rise and fall.

"Eventually we'll do this again," John said.

She had to smiled at that confidence again.

"Probably," she told him, "eventually."

"As long as we're clear," he said. "Goodnight Colonel."

"Night Colonel."

She watched him walk away, disappearing round a corner before going to bed smiling properly for the first time in days.

Eventually, she thought.