THE END! Four Letter Words (the sequel) should be up the weekend, so not really the end, but a new start. I feel bad for Curly, I'm a sucker for sad boys but Amara? my girl? who gave up everything for him? Why do I do this to myself? Thanks for reading this and following it for a year, hope you stick around for the sequel. Hailey :,)

made up my mind to make a new start,

going to california with an aching in my heart.

California had been liked she imagined it. It was sunny and she wasn't too far from the ocean. The ocean had been a pretty sight. She hadn't seen it since she was twelve and visited her grandparents summer house in Florida. It seemed different in California. Much more reckless.

Stanford's campus had been beautiful, too. It was a dream just being able to stand by it. She had managed in her three day trip to find a cheap apartment and put in a couple resumes. Amara was quite proud of herself for being that progressive. She was sure she had even got a tan.

It was nice to be back in Tulsa, she couldn't deny that.

When she had left, she had just sprung the I love you on Curly without a second thought; he hadn't replied and she was mortified. She wanted to see him badly but was nervous of what he might say. It probably wasn't even appropriate to say such a thing when she was leaving for a long time in only a week. She wished she had thought it through before opening her mouth.

Amara dumped her suitcase in her room and said hello to her parents and described San Francisco and Stanford to them. The only time the two of them were out of state were family trips to Florida and when Amara was seven they had taken a weekend to go see a broadway show in New York. Neither of them had even been close to the west side.

After kissing her mom on the cheek, she left again to head over to Curly's.

Angel answered the door, she was smirking. "Amara, meet any hunky California boys?"

Amara wiggled her eyebrows. "That's for me to know and for you to not tell your brother. Speaking of, where is he...?"

"I'm taking that as a yes," Angel laughed. "He's up in his room. Just go on up."

Curly was sprawled out on his bed. The covers were three-quarters hanging off the edge and he was clad only in fruit of the loom boxers. He reminded her of a kid.

"Hi." She greeted. His eyes were closed but she knew he was awake. He snored as he slept and right now he was abnormally quiet.

He rolled over with a sleepy grin on his face. "Hello, doll."

"How was California?"

She had tried to describe it to him- without being cheesy. She talked about the ocean a lot.

"I'm sure gonna miss ya, y'know."

She laughed, happy to hear those words. "You can come with me. I've got myself an apartment."

His face went white and went silent. Again, she felt like an idiot. She hadn't been filtering herself around him lately, now remembering how she had also blurted out that she loved him now she was asking him to come with her- he definitely thought she was crazy.

"Get up! I want to go do something with you." She said too quickly, not very discreetly changing the subject.

He groaned but obliged. Curly hopped into the shower and Amara waited for him on his bed. Moments later, he was back with just a towel wrapped around his waist.

"What did you have in mind?" He picked up a pair of jeans off the floor and wiggled into them. As he did so, a tiny slip of paper slipped out.

"I'll get it." She said and bent down to grab it off the floor. On it was girly cursive and what it contained made her heart drop so much that it physically hurt her to read it.

'I had a nice time, it was like the old days, just you and me. When you get tired of your good girl, give me a call.

-Nancy.'

Amara had to read it three times just to make sure she never interpreted wrong or the words hadn't been jumbled in her head. But there was no other way to take the note, it could only have one meaning and after three read-throughs she knew she had read it right. She didn't even need those read-throughs, the red lipstick print on the back of the paper spoke louder than all the words combined.

Amara let the paper drop loosely from her fingertips.

"What is that anyway?" Curly curiously picked up the note. She watched as he grew pale.

"Fuck."

Amara didn't say a word or move an inch. She had never been cheated on before; she'd never had a serious relationship before. People had told her it hurt but she never understood that. Now she did. She wished she didn't. She must have scared him off with the love topic but nothing could justify it in her mind. It wasn't like her and Jimmy, Jimmy and her had been dating, Curly had been a real thing.

Curly stood in front of her frowning, yet he had nothing to be frowning for. He wasn't the one who had gotten hurt.

Amara's eyes burned. "Did you hook up with Nancy?"

He was silent.

"Answer me, Curly."

Again, Curly kept his mouth shut. That was all the conformation she needed. If it wasn't a firm no, it was a yes. He wasn't even trying to deny it.

The tears were blurring her vision but she wouldn't dare let one drop.

"Why?"

He looked confused and guilty, like a puppy.

"You went to California and it struck a nerve because when you came back it wouldn't be to stay," his expression was pained. "I needed to blow off some steam."

Fooling around on her was just 'blowing off steam'. It was then how stupid and immature Curly actually was dawned on her.

"So what I'm hearing is, you cheated on me because I got the chance of a lifetime? Because I wasn't gonna throw all that away for you?"

She had thought about it. Over and over again, she had thought about just choosing Oklahoma to be close to Curly. But Oklahoma was never what she wanted and she wouldn't be able to to turn down her dream school for a boy. She loved Curly, she didn't want to be away from Curly- but it was obvious she had made the right decision. If she had given up Stanford and he had two-timed her, it would have been devastating. Teenage heartbreak, Amara was sure she could handle. But, jesus, it hurt like hell.

"No, no, baby. I was upset because you'd be leavin' me soon. I got drunk and Nancy was there..."

Nancy was always there and Amara hated her for it. It was clear to Amara now she would never mean as much to Curly as Nancy; Amara would never have that tight grasp over him like she did.

Curly could say and do whatever he wanted but he ran back to Nancy, no matter what. Amara had always ignored Nancy and her advances, but she couldn't now.

Amara was second best at everything, she wouldn't play the role of second best in her own relationship.

She had only chose to come back after her tour because of Curly. She had wanted to spend an extra week with him before she absolutely had to say her goodbyes. Now, that was pointless and she was craving California again.

"I'm leavin' tomorrow," she told him. Even to her own ears she sounded icy. "And you can bet I ain't gonna be coming back for you."

Amara left him before he could say anything else. She didn't want him to find some way into conning her back into changing her mind. If he was even going to care that much. She had cared so much for Curly and she had thought it had been mutual. But all Amara could picture was Nancy and Curly, kissing and touching and it made her dizzy.

She had tried not to pause to say bye to Angela, she was the last person Amara wanted to see her cry. Angela had been through so much more and was tough as nails, it seemed. Amara wished she was like that.

"Hey, where ya goin'?" Angel was in the kitchen, with her back turned. Amara was confused on how she even knew Amara had descended the stairs.

"I'm leaving. I know you don't like this kind of stuff but I really hope you do okay, Angel. I know you will."

She could feel Curly behind her. It made her anxious. He hoped he hadn't heard her cry. Angel nodded, as if she knew what was going on. She probably did; Amara was probably the last to know and that made her feel like an idiot.

"Doll-" He began. She didn't want to hear anything he had to say. She left.

Back home, Amara made her announcement about her early route back to Stanford. Her parents were surprised but never objected. Amara thought maybe their silence had something to do with the way she had puffy eyes and black tear stains down her cheeks.

Amara had planned on unpacking her suitcase when she got home from Curly's, now she was trying to stuff more in it. She was also filling cardboard boxes with the most important belongings.

Around nine, the phone rang. Amara had let it ring until someone else picked up the phone. For the next three hours after that, the phone had rung once an hour. Her mother had told her it had been Curly. Amara just huffed and kept on throwing things into boxes.

She had always been pushed over by people, Curly had been different, he had made her feel different. She had thought they could've lasted. But with everything going so well in her favor, she guessed this was the universes way of evening everything out. She had to push Curly Shepard out of her mind and be grateful for all the possibilities she had coming at her lately.

Amara wouldn't let some stupid boy tear her down; but she felt like she had been kicked in the gut. She could handle this, Amara told herself. She would cry all night, but when she was done she promised herself she would not cry again.

Amara packed all the boxes into her car the next morning, quite early. It was going to be a long drive. The money her grandma gave her would be key for all the gas and food she would need.

She kissed her fathers forehead and her mothers cheek and drove off just as the sun was coming up.

This is exactly what she wanted anyway. Amara wanted a free life, full if warm sunsets and the ocean always close by. Amara wanted to go to school and be a journalist. A snarky, obnoxious gang member had never been part of her picture. She would strive without him; after she hit the road she promised she wouldn't worry her pretty little head about him again.

Curly Shepard was going to stay in Tulsa and Amara was planning on leaving Tulsa quite a nice distance behind her.