a/n: happy valentine's day! if you're reading this, you're probably a dateless loser like me xD but it's okay, we have our boys to cheer us up! ^_^

first time writing sora/lea, and booooy was it hard. i wanted to do it though! so sorry if it sucks, it was just really hard to write xD

enjoy!

a-far-off-memory

Sunsets would always remind Lea of Roxas.

Sunsets reminded him of relaxing on a clock tower after a long day, just eating ice cream and enjoying each other's company. Of spiky blond hair and a smart mouth, and deep blue eyes that reflected the soft rays of the sun at dusk. Of finally feeling alive, after simply going through the motions.

Sure, he'd taught Roxas the practical things, like why the sun set red or what friends were, but Roxas had taught him so much more.

He'd taught him how to love again.

But Roxas was a thing of the past. Lea would never see another sunset with him, never tease him, never share sea salt ice cream with him again.

And he'd be lying if he said it didn't seriously fucking suck.

I'm pathetic, he thought to himself as he sat on the ledge of the clock tower, heaving a sigh. He fiddled with his scarf, yellow like the one he'd wore in his youth before becoming a Nobody. Everyone else is moving forward, getting ready for the big fight, and all I can think about is the past...

His heart ached. It was a feeling he'd long forgotten, one he would've been happy to never feel again, but alas life hated him or something.

He'd been given another chance. But he couldn't move forward, couldn't focus on his keyblade training, because his mind was constantly consumed with thoughts of the love he'd never regain.

The thing he was the most bitter about was the fact that he could've finally loved Roxas properly. Not with simple whispers of the memory of love, but properly with the heart he now had back. It was like some cruel joke, and he didn't find it funny at all.

"Do you come here to brood all the time, or is this a special occasion?"

Lea jumped at the teasing voice, looking and finding a head full of light brown spikes and blue eyes that never failed to make his heart ache. Because those eyes...they were Roxas' eyes.

Sora plopped himself down next to him, grinning in that easy way of his. His blue eyes sparkled as he nudged Lea playfully, drawing a reluctant chuckle from the redhead.

"Nah, this is kinda a special place for me. Lots of memories here." He looked down at his hands. "This is where Roxas and I would come after missions."

Sora went quiet at that, but only for a moment.

"You two were close, weren't you? You...and Roxas," he asked tentatively, laying a hand on the redhead's arm.

Lea chuckled almost bitterly. "You could say that."

There was a beat of silence before Sora finally asked, "You loved him, didn't you?"

Releasing a sigh, the redhead rubbed his face tiredly. "As much as a Nobody could, Sora. He was...everything to me. And then he left—" His breath hitched, and he hastily blinked back tears. "He left, and then my Roxas was gone. I never even got a proper goodbye." His eyes darkened. "Sometimes, I really think I could hate him. I really wish I could so that maybe I could get on with my life. But then I think of that dumb smile of his and I'm right back to square one."

The brunet made a soft sound in his throat before wrapping an arm around Lea in a one-armed hug, leaning his head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Lea. I'm sorry I'm here instead of him. I...I wish there was some way he could be a person too, because he deserves it. Even if he insists that he's happy it's me and not him..."

Lea's eyes widened in shock. "No, Sora, don't apologize for that. You were a person before he was...don't apologize for existing. The time I had with him was wonderful and I'll never forget it...but he's gone now, and he isn't coming back. I guess I've gotta learn to accept that." He offered a smile, though it was tinged with pain. "Besides, you're just as much of a brat as he was. I don't think I could handle two of you."

Sora brightened, giving him a light push. "Hey, would a brat have brought you this?" With that, he pulled out two white rectangles that Lea immediately recognized. His throat went dry as Sora handed him one of the ice cream bars before proceeding to open his own and take a bite.

When Lea didn't open his, the brunet tilted his head in confusion. "Aren't you going to eat it? It's sea salt...Roxas says it's your favorite..."

The redhead blinked rapidly, trying to withhold his tears as he tore the wrapper and bit into his ice cream. It was stupid, to get so emotional over a fucking bar of ice cream, but...

Against his will, he remembered when he'd told Roxas about friends. That they ate ice cream and laughed together. He remembered the look on Roxas' face as he tried to grasp the foreign concept and thinking damn, he's adorable.

Sora's brow furrowed in concern. "Lea? I didn't mean to upset you, I'm sorry...I thought it would be a good idea..."

Lea waved a hand dismissively, laughing through the lump in his throat. "It was very thoughtful, Sora. I'm just being an emotional baby...thank you. For the ice cream and the company." He really meant it; he sincerely enjoyed the brunet's company, because he reminded him of Roxas so much sometimes. Barring that, he genuinely liked Sora—he was like a breath of fresh air, all optimism and jokes. He made Lea smile so easily, when he'd thought that genuine smiles were lost on him.

"Well...you've saved my life twice, now. I figured this might help pay you back a little," replied Sora with a small smile as he took another bite of his ice cream.

Lea reached over and ruffled his hair, laughing. "You don't have to pay me back, Sora. Someone's gotta look after your sorry ass, and I don't mind taking that job."

Sora scoffed indignantly. "I can take care of myself, thank you very much!"

Lea snorted. "Sure thing, Sor."

"I could kick your ass in a keyblade fight!"

The redhead scoffed. "Only because you have more experience with it. If I used my chakrams, you'd be crying for your mommy by the end of it."

Sora leaned in close, eyes narrowed playfully. "Is that a challenge I hear?"

Lea smirked in reply, leaning in as well so that their faces were separated by only a few inches. He was about to reply until his eyes met Sora's, instantly making him clam up.

God, they were gorgeous. Why were they so damn gorgeous? They were like...like a stormy sea, or an evening sky...

Snapping out of it, Lea quickly sat back up straight, a heavy silence falling over the two of then.

I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to kiss him so fucking bad. What's wrong with me? He's not Roxas. He's...

He's not Roxas. Get that through your head, he told himself angrily, sucking his lower lip into his mouth and chewing onto it.

I know he's not Roxas. I know it. But I still want him. Why the hell do I still want him?!

Sora coughed, looking down. "He's sorry, you know. Roxas. For leaving you like that. He wanted me to let you know..."

Lea looked at him slowly, acidic eyes widening a fraction. "You can...feel him?"

The brunet nodded slowly, biting his lower lip. "He's always with me, in the back of my mind. He's become a part of me..."

It seemed too good to be true, knowing that the one he loved more than anything was technically sitting right beside him. But...it was more than that. Even on his own, there was something about Sora that soothed his soul. He'd spent a lot of time with the brunet, getting to know him, and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't growing on him.

Intense green eyes met soft blue. "Sora...what is it that you feel for me, exactly?" he asked in a gentle voice.

Sora swallowed hard. "Why?"

"Just answer."

Blue eyes were cast downward. "Well, I...I think you have a good heart, Lea. You saved me when you didn't have to, and now you're working to become a Keyblade Wielder to help us fight Xehanort...and I think that's very honorable of you. You're also very sweet, even though you try so hard to hide it. And, well...I think you're really handsome, too..."

The redhead felt himself smile as he slowly reached out to lay a warm hand over Sora's, causing the brunet to look up at him in confusion.

"Lea...?"

Lea smiled, reaching out to brush brown bangs back. "You know, you're one of the only people who hasn't messed up my name yet. And you have no idea how much that means, Sora. Axel...he wasn't the best of people. He made lots of mistakes. But I just want to start fresh and maybe try to make up for those mistakes, and you make me feel like I can."

"Because you can, Lea. You already are. Please don't doubt yourself, because you're a wonderful person. I don't know what we'd do without you..." His voice lowered. "What I'd do without you."

"Sora..."

The brunet shook his head. "Lea, I know you're still in love with Roxas. It's so easy to see. But sometimes...sometimes, I wish you could love me like that, too. I know I'm not him, and I could never replace him, but he's with me in here. He's a part of me now. And...we both love you, Lea. I'm sorry if I made things awkward and please don't feel obligated to feel the same way—"

Lea grabbed the tense, babbling boy and crushed their lips together, feeling him instantly go slack and melt into the embrace.

Sora's lips were so, so soft. They invited him in, allowing his tongue to explore beyond them, a soft noise escaping him as his arms would around the redhead's neck. He felt similar enough to Roxas, in the sense that their bodies were the same size and both tasted like sea salt ice cream. But beyond the taste of ice cream was something exotic, like the island that Sora came from, along with something wholly undefinable, like light. Roxas had smelled like the soap issued to them in the Organization, while Sora smelled like citrus and sunshine. He was just as aggressive as Roxas, however, which made Lea smile as he slowly pulled away.

"You aren't Roxas. You're Sora. And Roxas is you. But I don't see him right now, Sora...I see you." Reaching up, he laid a hand on Sora's chest, right over his heartbeat and feeling its steady thrum, something else that was different. "I could never love Roxas the way I wanted to. I didn't have the heart to do it. But now I have a heart, Sora, and...fuck, this is so cheesy, but...my heart wants you. I'll always love him, but he's a part of you now and it makes me love you so much more. I have enough room now to love you both."

"I can't be a substitute for him...you know that, right? Because we're different, Lea. We may make up the same person, but we are two different people..." Sora murmured, looking down. "I want you to love me for me, not for the person inside of me. So as long as you're sure you can do that...and I'm not telling you to stop loving Roxas, I'd never do that. I just want to make sure that you truly love me for me, too."

Eyes soft, Lea rested a hand on his cheek and gently stroked the soft skin with his thumb. "Don't you worry, Sora. When I look at you...I see a funny, lovable, optimistic person. I see determination, I see strength, and I see fire. I see beautiful blue eyes, a perfect smile, and crazy brown hair. Sora...I see you. And I love everything about you. I know you're not Roxas, and I've accepted he's never coming back. I'd like to move on with my life now...with you by my side," he finished softly, biting his lip.

It was silent for a moment before Sora began to laugh. It was a quiet laugh, one that shook his shoulders while soft gasps of air escaped his lips. "You're such a sappy dork, oh my god Lea."

The redhead shrugged, grinning. "Only when it matters."

The laughs died down a little, and Sora reached out to take Lea's hand in his own. "I love it. I love you."

"I love you too, Sora."

Their lips met again in the sweetest of kisses, lips pressing softly instead of insistently. He thought that maybe he could get used to this.

Yes, dusk would always remind him of Roxas. But he figured he shouldn't be sad anymore, not when he now had someone so precious to hold in his arms, someone Roxas was a part of.

"Hey, Sora?" he questioned once they broke apart.

"Hmm?" the brunet questioned, snuggling into him.

"Has anyone ever told you why the sun sets red?"

a/n: this whole thing is so fucking cheesy holy shit

i hope you all enjoyed my attempt at writing this pairing, not sure if i'll ever try it again...but it was fun xD

feel free to leave a review and check out my other stuff!

afom out~