Minna-san! This is just a short series that I spun out in my frustration to update My Immortal. Stupid me for leaving my doodle pad which has an entire chapter written in it inside my locker at the hospital. Stupid, stupid me.

Well anyway, I have to let out some steam and sadly you're at the receiving end. Let's just say it's a post-valentine's day outburst.

This is probably the darkest piece I've ever done…but I need to warn you. This is fragmented because this is based on Fix You...which I don't have the time to update if I wanted to finish My Immortal. It has a little flavor of Will you still love me tomorrow at the beginning but that's where it ends.

YAOI'S NOT DEAD! Hated the femryos and the hets flooding POT section of FF. Sorry guys.

This is written in Ryoma's POV.

As usual, I don't own POT…I treasure it. Wherever, whenever Takeshi Konomi stops, I start. Thanks guys!

I MISS YOU SO MUCH!

"You promised me." I never thought these three words could be spoken with so much spite in them that it makes your skin crawl.

But I still stupidly stood my ground. I stood there facing him; his godly devastated look was tearing me apart. What did I do? I couldn't remember, for the life of me, the thing that he was accusing me of. The anger in hose hazel eyes unhinged me. After so many weeks of hard work, he finally looked at me with tenderness but I guess all that effort had gone to waste.

I don't like that way he looks me now. It makes me feel dirty...but no in a good way.

"So you're not going to say anything?" I know he's trying to hold on to his composure but is steadily losing it. "You're not going to deny it? Well I guess it is true then."

"I shouldn't have expected you to hold on to your promise with you being a..." An invisible hand squeezed by heart so tight it felt like bursting. I know what was coming next and I know I have to do something to...I don't know, redeem myself.

"Being a what, Buchou?" My mouth automatically shut off and I regretted it that instant. "I'm sorry." I cast my eyes downward, unable to take the hatred from his eyes. "I seriously don't know what you're talking about." I fidgeted, I know. It's not helping my case and neither is the presence of my teammates.

For the first time in two years, I feel lost. I have lost control.

"If you're referring to my promise to be loyal—"

"Enough!" Kunimitsu's voice almost rattled the entire clubhouse. He never yelled...ever. I guess I'm making him do a lot of "firsts" and I may be able to empathize with the pressure he is in if I'm not being judged like a murderous whore right now.

I saw how Fuji, that damn boy-bitch, ran towards Kunimitsu and acted as if he's trying to hold him back. I fought back the urge to scoff. If I don't know him any better, I bet he's trying to cop a feel during the process. I tuned my mind back to this beautiful devastated, handsome boy before me. He looked like he's in so much pain that it made me want to hold him tight.

An action, which I think would cost me my arms right at this moment.

My throat felt like it had been swimming in a bowl of gastric juices for a few hours. I know I have to say something. I didn't break my promise. I swear. That's what I wanted to yell back but my vocal chords somehow forgot to operate. My chest started to swell with dread. I didn't sleep with Houo or Kazuya. I swear!

But I couldn't find my voice. My body betrayed me. I feel like sinking into the ground and never, ever emerge.

I watched in defeat as Fuji stood up and gave me that same "You-shouldn't-have-taken-my-stuff-now-poor-you" look. "I guess it's best for everyone if you leave first Echizen. We have already created quite a scene."

I blinked back a couple of times. Yeah, the entire Seigaku tennis club stood witness to this atrocity and all I could think about it how it's going to reflect on Kunimitsu's image. But I need to come clean. I need...I need him to hear me out.

"But—I—"

"Echizen." Another surprising note, I flinched. I never thought my name could be said with so much ice. I helplessly tried to meet his gaze but just the same, all I saw in those hazel eyes were hatred...hatred for me.

I felt something broke in my chest. In the haze of it all I couldn't identify what it was. I felt something shut off inside my mind but I was concentrating on his fleeting image before my eyes.

I was willing to change everything that I am... reversing every shitty decision I've made in life just to be with him.

Tezuka Kunimutsu... my savior, my downfall, my love, my lifeline, my death.

"Just leave." He looked extremely hurt. Hope spun inside my already shattered heart but no."I don't want to see you right now." Hope entangled it to squeeze it tighter hoping it would stop beating. "Just leave me alone and stay out of my life."

My body suddenly became slack, my tensed arms unlocked. My world is crushing down and I couldn't, for the life of me, even lift up my hands to save whatever crumbling pieces I could catch.

"I shouldn't have let you in." I heard him muttered under his breath. He's losing control now and to add salt to my injuries, I caused it. "I knew it, right from the start."

"You are just a boy with a pretty face who can play tennis."

Everything stopped. My mind went blank. I must have overloaded my pain sensors because now I feel numb. I couldn't comprehend the situation anymore. What's left of my consciousness was wrapped around his last words and a meek flash of a distant memory.

"I'll stop seeing the others if you promise that you won't push me away."

I stopped fighting. I knew, deep inside my heart, that I lost. I have lost everything once, it's not like there was a guarantee that history will not repeat itself. However, my loss this time seemed more devastating than before. Albeit this is only one person compared to three but still, second-time failure is much more painful especially when you've worked so hard to overcome the first one.

"I—I understand."

"I'm sorry for having troubled you for the past few weeks. I really am."

I stopped looking for a ray of hope in those hazel eyes. I hung my head low and willed my feet to move. I walked away from him without a clue of where to go but I'm certain that I cannot come back here. The rest of the blur before my eyes just parted easily to lead me to the door.

I won't look back. I won't look back. I won't look back!

Because if I do, I'd lose all sense of self-respect I have left for myself and ran back to him, grovel at his feet and beg him to let me stay.

I can't do that. I won't do that. Because if I did, I'd be admitting that I have broken my promise which I didn't.

I am loyal to him to the very end. I'd give him my life if he asked me to...but he pushed me away. He was the one who raised the hatchet and cut off my lifeline. I didn't give him my life...he demanded it.

He asked for my death.

A/N: this is the first installment to "Beyond Repair", a lose spin-off from "Fix you". I just had to get this out…sorry. I'm just so frustrated. This is just a miniseries…little below the usual 5k word chappies I produce. This happened deeper into Fix you but these ideas are blocking my ideas for My Immortal. I can always incorporate it into Fix You once I get around to writing it.

So just the same…please review!