A/N: Hello, guys! This has been sitting on my computer for a few weeks now. Sorry it's not Phil's birthday anymore, and this is majorly late, but at least I finally got around to finishing it today. I'm somewhat pleased with this, though I know I kinda rushed the ending a bit. I hate leaving things half-finished. A non-lemon, how rare! Also, I'm on the lookout for a Brit-picker, if anyone's interested.

Warnings: Potty mouths, many references to sex (though no scene). Phil's pathetic moping.

OoO

It was Phil's 27th birthday, and he was very much put out. Now, Phil wasn't one to be rude, but it was astronomically impossible for his best (read: best best) friend and boyfriend to both forget his birthday. Especially when he'd all but given them a mountain of hints.

"Oh, that looks like a thoughtful gift. I'm sure I'd want it for my birthday, whenever that is."

"That time, already? Only a week to go until I'm another year older."

"Didn't you know? My birthday is in two days."

"Guys, c'mon. I know you're listening. Only six hours to go."

And Phil's last ditch attempt: "Seriously, guys, it's not rocket science! My. Birthday. Remember?"

The last one to which he was met with empty air as Dan suddenly had to be somewhere, and Justine gave him a small smile and turned back to the coffee grinder. Well, it wasn't for lack of trying.

In the weeks leading up to the blessed day, Phil rarely saw Dan. Which was odd considering they lived right next to each other. Just a five second walk away (ten, if they were really drunk and their clumsiness was even more pronounced). In two weeks, the most Phil heard from Dan was a small grunt when the ebony-haired boy asked him what was up. Phil was starting to worry, but he trusted the brunette, so he let it pass. For the most part.

The only conversation they made was the day before Phil's birthday.

"Is everything okay?" Phil asked as they were sitting at the kitchen table having breakfast.

Dan looked up from his newspaper, raising an eyebrow. "Yeah, why?"

"I don't know, you've been sort of distant lately," Phil explained.

The brunette sighed and laid down his paper. "I've just been really stressed out a work. A lot of people are on holiday, so we have a lot to do."

"Does it have anything to do with me?" Phil asked in a small voice, biting his lip.

"God, no!" Dan rushed to reassure the older boy, a frown on his face. "It's not that, I swear. Things are just a bit hectic this time of year. It's nothing you did, or said, or anything like that. I promise it'll be better next month."

"Okay," Phil said, relaxing. His relief was outlived by his worry. "Don't work too hard, yeah?"

"I won't," Dan said, smiling. He placed a hand on Phil's shoulder. "Don't worry about me, I'm fine. Now, I have to run, love. Thanks for breakfast."

"No problem," Phil lied, forcing himself to smile. Dan didn't seem to notice Phil's untruth, because soon he disappeared out the door and Phil was left staring at the crumpled up newspaper like it held all the answers. Oops! This Season's Colors and What Clashes With Your Skin Tone, he read. Well, at least he would be fashionably clueless.

Justine wasn't much help, either.

"He's probably just stressed," she said over the whirr of the coffee grinder. "The holidays do that to people. Especially journalists."

"I know," Phil said, trying to remove the whine from his voice. "But he's been like that since Christmas. We haven't made love in a month. I think the lube's gone bad, if that's possible."

The barista wrinkled her nose. "I really didn't need to know that."

Phil rolled his eyes. "Please. You're the one always prying into our sexual habits."

"True," Justine smirked. "I'm just practicing my innocent façade for the new year. Is it working?"

"I didn't know innocent was even in your dictionary," Phil murmured, grinning when the blonde punched him lightly in the arm.

"It is since Dragon Lady unnecessarily yelled at me, all because she thought I switched out the nonfat creamer for the full fat one," Justine explained.

"But I thought you actually did that."

"Exactly. Man, the looks on the customers' faces when they sipped their coffee were priceless."

"You're hopeless," Phil groaned.

"But seriously," Justine said, taking on a serious tone. "Just give him a bit of time, yeah? I'm sure the rush won't last long."

"Okay," Phil said, frowning but nodding. He was so perturbed that he forgot to remind Justine that his birthday was tomorrow. Four hours and counting, he sighed to himself when he returned home. And then I can really yell at them for forgetting.

Fast forward to today: January 30th, 2014. Phil sat alone in his apartment, one hand propping his head up and the other drumming incessantly on the kitchen table. It was almost three in the afternoon, and not one call from any of his friends or family. He thought maybe at least his parents would have called, but apparently it was 'Forget Phil's Birthday Day'. Some birthday.

His phone rang and he jumped, the familiar Spice Girls ringtone echoing throughout the small apartment. Justine. Hope kindled within Phil, and he picked up the phone with a smile. "Hello?"

"Hey, Phil," Justine greeted, and she sounded sheepish. "Something personal came up and I can't work today. Could you cover for me?"

Phil sighed, his smile falling and disappointment weighing heavily on his heart. "Yeah, sure."

"Thank you so, so much. I swear I'll make it up to you," Justine promised.

"Yeah, yeah," Phil muttered. "Tell Dragon Lady I'll be over in fifteen."

"Thanks, mate. You're a doll," Justine said, and Phil could hear the smile in her voice. She sounded so relieved that Phil couldn't stay mad at her. His anger drained away, and he suddenly felt tired.

"No problem," Phil lied again. "I'll talk to you later."

"You, too!" Justine replied before hanging up the phone.

Phil stared at the device warily, frowning. Not only did everyone forget his birthday, but he also had to work, to top it all off. What a load of crap. He sighed in resignation and went about his morning (technically afternoon) routine. Justine owed him big time.

OoO

A gust blew by when Phil arrived at Cool Beans, and he wrapped his coat tighter around himself to ward off the cold. He hated winter, he really did. Well, winter up until Christmas was awesome, because he looked forward to the snow and the fun and the merriment to be had on the holiday. But snow after Christmas and up until spring just made him tired and he wished summer would hurry up and get here. Phil looked at the dirty slush collected on the sidewalk with disdain as he stepped up to the entryway.

He turned the handle and opened the door, shivering at the change in temperature as a blast of hot air hit his face. It warmed him up instantly, but the feeling paled in comparison to the sight before him.

"Surprise!" rang out in the small shop from the small crowd of people occupying the space. Phil jumped slightly, his ears ringing from the loud noise. Phil looked around in shock, seeing the familiar faces of his friends and family within the group of people. It took his brain a second to catch up, but soon he grinned and his heart melted like snow on a scorching hot day.

Dan stood in front of the mob, his face alight with a grin. "Happy birthday, Phil."

"You utter sod," Phil groaned, but his tone lacked heat and the grin remained on his face. He spouted out his words like a gattling gun. "You almost gave me a heart attack just now. I thought you lot forgot about me. Why didn't you just tell me?"

"Well, that's kind of the point of a surprise party," Dan drawled, rolling his eyes. "You know, it's supposed to be a surprise."

"Okay, okay, fine," Phil rolled his eyes. "This is awesome, though. Thanks, guys."

"Dan's the one who really got this together," Justine added from beside Dan. "All we did was show up. You should be thanking him."

"Thank you," Phil addressed Dan, who blushed. "This is the best birthday ever."

"It was nothing, really," the brunette waved it off, smiling. "I'm just happy you like it. I'm sorry I was such an ass to you these past few weeks, but you know I'm really shit at lying, so I had to stay away from you until it was time."

"No problem," Phil said, honestly this time. "I understand."

"Oi, let's have some cake!" someone piped up. It sounded like Paul, Phil's friend who worked at the thrift shop. Everyone laughed, and soon the party was in full swing.

Being a coffee shop, they didn't really have any alcohol, which suited Phil just fine. They did have some champagne, though, and soon Phil was handed a glass that he sipped from occasionally. He didn't want to get too far-gone; he wanted to enjoy this day without worrying about any slip-ups or hangovers. The bubbled tickled his nose when he lifted up the glass.

The cake, of course, was a Delia Smith recipe. Dan proudly boasted, "I made it all by myself!"

To which Phil jokingly replied, "Oh, so that's what the smoke alarm was about the other day."

Dan just grinned and handed Phil a slice of the best-tasting chocolate cake the ebony-haired boy had ever eaten. Phil's parents actually managed to come, which was both a relief and a cause of tension. Phil had yet to introduce Dan to his parents, much to his boyfriend's chagrin. The older boy knew a perfect opportunity when he saw one, and he managed to gain an audience of all three individuals.

"This is Dan," Phil introduced, gesturing to the boy on his right.

His mother grinned. "We know, dear."

Phil blinked in surprise, turning to Dan for an explanation. The brunette shrugged. "I called them over the phone and chatted with them when they came. I had to get them here somehow, yeah?"

"Dan's quite the charmer," his mother giggled, flashing said boy a smile. "Shame you didn't let us meet him sooner."

"I didn't realize it would be this easy," Phil said honestly. "I'm glad you guys are getting along, though."

"As long as you're happy," Phil's dad said, a small smile on his lips, "we're happy for you."

Phil smiled then, relieved beyond words. It felt so good to have his parents' blessing, that not only did they accept him for who he was, they also approved of his choice in mates. All of Phil's important people warmed up to Dan immediately, and it was both a great relief and a fantastic sign that Phil had chosen right. Not that he had any doubts, though. He and Dan just fit, and though at first their relationship was spotty, it grew into something so beautiful that Phil didn't know how he survived without it.

As usual, chaos ensued when it came time to open presents. Phil found a multitude of presents shoved in his face, each person wanting first dibs on the present-opening extravaganza. The haul was awesome this year: Gift vouchers from his friends with various shops, millions of coffee gift cards, a bottle of cherry lube from Justine (which made Phil turn a million shades of red and get a massive paper-cut trying to hide it back in the box), and a set of lion-themed mittens and a lion hoodie from his parents.

Phil tried to hide his disappointment when he looked around for Dan's present and found nothing. He figured that maybe the party was his present. It probably took a lot of effort, and while the small and selfish child within Phil pouted, Dan did an amazing job and Phil still appreciated everything the brunette did for him. This was the best birthday party Phil ever had, and it thawed out his heart from the frigid winter's frost.

After a fond farewell to his parents (and an embarrassing smooch from his mother that left a lipstick stain on his cheeks), Phil breathed a sigh and reclined in a chair that was propped up next to the bar. Dan had disappeared sometime after the guests had left, and it was only Phil and Justine, the latter of whom perched herself precariously upon the top of the serving area.

"You do know people put their food on there, right?" Phil said warily, half joking and half serious. "I don't think they want your arse germs on their coffee."

"You do know we stock disinfectant, right?" Justine wiggled her butt around to prove her apathy concerning cleanly surfaces. "And besides, they should be honored to have my arse germs on their coffee. It improves the flavor."

"That's gross."

"You're gross, wuss."

They glared at each other for a few seconds, and then burst into laughter. Phil grinned. "What would I do without you and Dan constantly testing my sanity?"

"You'd probably still be insane," Justine retorted, to which Phil whacked her lightly on the shoulder. She giggled. "But seriously, you lucked out, mate. Guys like that don't come around very often."

"I know," Phil sighed. "I have to constantly remind myself that this is real life and not some fantasy I've dreamed up. I actually pinched myself the other day, which is both pathetic and slightly worrying."

"I just think you're in love," Justine sang, drawing out the last word and tittering. "Phil and Dan, sitting in a tree, F-U-C-K—"

"Okay, okay, you've proven your point," Phil cut in, groaning. "Sometimes I wonder why I even put up with you guys."

"Well, I can come up with a number of reasons," Justine said, grinning. "But I can't help it if you're easy to rile up. It's a wonder Dan ever lets you leave the house."

"What do you mean?" Phil asked warily.

"I mean, Dan's totally head over heels," Justine gave him a serious look. "Do you see the way he looks at you? It's like he can't believe you're here, like you'll disappear as soon as you leave his sight. You look at him like that, too. It's so disgustingly sweet I want to puke sometimes. Out of goodwill and happiness, mind you."

"Really?" Phil asked, blinking.

"Yeah. Like, rainbows and sparkles and kittens," Justine explained, waving a hand and smiling. "It makes me want to get embarrassed for you."

"It's not that bad, right?" Phil asked, biting his lower lip.

"God, I'm just teasing you, Philip," Justine said, rolling her eyes. Her smile didn't fade, however. "But really, you can tell that you two are totally in love. It makes me want to find someone like that, so maybe I can feel even a tenth of what you guys exude when I see you together. I'm not one for believing in soul mates and happy endings and shit like that, but watching you guys makes me all goopy and warm inside, and I kinda feel like maybe it's possible."

Phil's heart warmed at her words, and he appreciated them. Justine could be a real sweetie underneath her sarcastic exterior, and Phil was glad to know how much she approved of his relationship. It felt great to have some reinforcement to the idea that Dan and Phil just fit together, and they were right for each other. Phil grinned and playfully replied, "I think that's the sappiest thing you've ever said."

"Fuck you, Lester."

"I think that's my job," came a voice beside Phil, and the ebony-haired boy jumped and turned around. Dan stood to Phil's right, and Phil could see the grin on the brunette's face despite the weird angle.

"Ick," Justine said in disgust, but her giggle ruined the image. "You're just in time, Dan. I was about to kick this guy out so I can clean up."

"You don't have to do that for me," Phil murmured, turning to the barista. "I can help you."

"Naw, it's okay. The birthday boy should be relaxing and getting bedded by his sexy neighbor and not," Justine paused to jump down from the bar, "cleaning up after his party."

Phil groaned and blushed. "You could at least pretend to be normal sometimes."

"Not a chance," Justine retorted, sticking out her tongue. "Now go!"

"Thanks," Phil said, smiling and getting out of his seat. He stretched out the kinks in his body.

"Ready to go?" Dan asked unnecessarily, a soft smile on his face.

Phil smiled. "Yeah."

They gathered up the rest of Phil's presents (luckily most of them came in gift bags with handles) and walked over to the door. Before the door closed, Justine called out, "Bed him well, my lady!"

"Which one of us was she referring to?" Phil asked on the walk back to their apartment building.

"Obviously you," Dan replied, snickering when Phil punched him in the arm none-too-lightly. "I'm obviously too manly to be the woman."

"I'm sure the spiders would agree," Phil shot back. "Because the ear-splitting shriek you let out makes them quiver in fear."

"It's an epic roar of masculinity. I'm asserting my territory."

"You're asserting something."

"Oi, no gift for you, then, if you're going to be this cheeky," Dan sniffed, folding up his arms and pretending to pout.

Phil blinked. "But I thought the party was my present."

Dan dropped his arms and rolled his eyes. "Being your boyfriend, I'm obviously going to get you more than one present. I'd shower you with presents if I could afford it."

Phil smiled softly, honored and a bit touched. It was no secret that while Dan enjoyed his work, paranormal newspapers weren't exactly the most hot-selling items. Dan made a decent living, yes, and could splurge on things once in a while (in both meanings of the phrase), but he didn't swim in money. It suited Phil just fine, because he didn't need anything fancy to know that the brunette loved him. Plus, Phil wasn't exactly a millionaire himself. All Phil needed was the time spent with his boyfriend to be happy (and the millions of Caramel Macchiatos they shared over second breakfast).

"You didn't have to get me anything," Phil said softly. "But thanks. I can't wait to see it."

"You better like it," Dan warned playfully, "because it's a bitch to return."

"What the hell is it, then?" Phil asked. "Can you give me a hint?"

"Uh-uh, Mister Hasty. No hints. You'll just have to wait and find out," Dan said mysteriously, grinning.

"All right, all right," Phil said, holding up his hands in a placating manner. "I just hope it's not a bomb."

"Would I do that to you?" Dan asked innocently.

"Yes."

"Actually, that's not far off from the truth."

The boys laughed, and they continued on in comfortable silence. Soon they arrived at the building and made their way up the stairs and to their floor. Phil paused at the top. "Your place, or mine?"

"Yours," Dan answered. "Just go on ahead. I have to get it from my place, first."

Phil nodded. "Okay."

They parted ways, and Phil tried to contain his excitement as he padded down the hallway. The mystery of the gift (while a normal occurrence in this situation) made everything even more thrilling. Especially since Dan was the best and most thoughtful gift-giver ever. For Christmas, Dan gave Phil a pair of vintage teacups ("So we look fancy when we have our tea," Dan had explained) and a porcelain lion cookie jar that roared every time you opened it ("So I know when you sneak all the cookies, like pretty much every time we bake them"). Phil smiled to himself as he sat down on his sofa, trying to appear casual when his heart beat a million times a minute.

Phil heard the door creak open, and he looked over to the entryway. Dan had his hands behind his back and wore a smile. When he got to the couch, he plopped himself next to the ebony-haired boy and brought his hands around so Phil could see the present. Phil took the present with slightly trembling hands. Phil inspected the package: It was about the size of his fist and wrapped in bright blue wrapping paper with a neat little bow tied around it in silver ribbon.

"It's not going to bite you," Dan said, chuckling. " You can go ahead and open it now."

Phil laughed. "Okay. But if it's empty, you're going to be in so much trouble."

"Just open it already, geeze!"

"Okay, okay."

Phil carefully untied the knot in the ribbon and set it on the coffee table. With slightly trembling hands, Phil ripped at the wrapping paper until it slid off like a shimmering snake. The box was white and blank, so there were no clues there. Phil lifted the lid and gasped.

Lying gently on blue velvet was a silver (and very expensive-looking) bracelet. The whole band was brilliant silver and shaped to look like a lion's body (its tail joined the mouth, making it one continuous band). Its eyes were brilliant blue sapphires, glinting sharply in the fading light of the sun through the windows. Phil tried it on; it fit snug against his wrist, but not too tightly as to make it impossible to get on or off.

"It's gorgeous, Dan," Phil said in awe as he turned his hand to admire the bracelet. "Thank you."

Dan grinned. "I saw it in the shop, and I knew it was perfect for you."

"It looks expensive," Phil said, frowning slightly. "I hope you didn't spend all of your money on this."

"Well, it wasn't exactly cheap, but I didn't spend all of my money," Dan smiled sheepishly. "That's why I had to pull all of those shifts, to cover the expenses."

"You didn't have to go to all that trouble," Phil said, biting his lip. "I'd be happy with just the party.

"Yeah, but I wanted to," Dan assured him, raising his eyebrows to punctuate his words. "Now, you better not break it with your accident-prone abilities. I was assured that the only refund I would get was to be sent home to cry."

"I won't," Phil promised, chuckling. "Thanks, Dan. This was the best birthday ever."

"I'm glad you're happy," Dan grinned. "Now, isn't it about time we went to the bedroom and you showed me how thankful you feel?"

Phil groaned. "Insatiable sod."

"Prick," Dan shot back, his voice overly warm and gooey as he fluttered his eyelashes.

"Love you," Phil couldn't help but say.

"You, too. Now, onward!"

As Dan grabbed his hand and led him to the bedroom, Phil smiled and tried not to giggle. All in all, this was the best birthday Phil ever had. He wondered how he was going to top this when Dan's birthday rolled around. He put the thoughts out of his mind and turned to the task at hand, trying not to stumble as they hurried to the bedroom. After all, he had a few months to go. Plenty of time to rip all of his hair out.

Phil's smile grew. Dan had no idea what he was in for.