It's like playing laser tag…but instead of annoying, snotty little kids, these are actual undead people we're trying to shoot down! Wow!

Those had indeed been Barney's first words the moment after he shot his first zombie. To this day, he couldn't believe that there even were zombies, though Marshall, of course, treated this epidemic like it was an every day thing and that he had predicted this for many years (Which he truly had.)

It wasn't always this way, obviously. And it wouldn't always be this way. It all began a few weeks back, on just a normal day. As usual, the gang was sitting in their booth at MacLaren's, but, atypically, today there was discussion of a highly communicable virus that was going around lately, one that no one could remember the name of.

"Heronyza..yeah, I give up." Barney was attempting to say the name, but it was to no avail. "Well, anyway, this whole hype, about how deadly it is? It's stupid. It's just a common cold, guys. I mean, ya take some Nyquil, or chug down a bottle, depends on how low on alcohol you are, ya go to sleep, and you're done. There. Call Dr. Stinson in the morning if you're not 100% better." He drained his glass, savoring the taste of the last drop.

"Yeah, I don't think you're fully aware of the severity here," Ted countered slowly. If Barney caught the disease, surely he'd be the first one to complain, to say the least, and Ted was positive of this. "This disease is no common cold, in fact, that's why I've got a plan."

"Run away as fast as you can from those infected while crying and screaming?" Robin suggested mockingly, as Barney smiled at her teasing the way he always did, then gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.

"No, I'm going to-"

"Hop on a bus full of diseased people and accidentally get yourself killed?" Lily threw in.

"Would you guys just let me talk, this is important!" Ted snapped. For a few seconds, they were silent, and just as Ted was about to speak, Barney interrupted with, "So are you gonna prevent yourself from getting the disease, or are you gonna lie down without your sleep mask one night and inadvertently breathe in the death that enters your window?"

Ted turned his head, glaring angrily at Barney.

"What? This is important stuff for us to know!" Barney retorted defensively, allowing his voice to trail off as he held his next glass up to his mouth, about to drink it.

"Go on, Ted," Marshall allowed.

"Thank you. Now, what I was saying is that, in times of disease and turmoil, it's always important to have stuff on hand. Like…a lot of stuff. So, on that note, I have decided to pack a quarantine pack in case we need it." Ted reached down quickly and pulled up a medium sized green duffel bag, placing it on the table in front of them.

Barney rolled his eyes. To be prepared was one thing, but to be overprepared, as Ted was, was another thing entirely. To Barney, what would happen would happen, and it was useless to be so skittish about it.

From there, Ted began pulling items out of the bag."Medical masks, one for each of us. Granola bars and Gatorade, in case of food shortage, bottled water, batteries…"

This continued on for some ten minutes or so. By the time Ted reached the bottom of the bag, Barney had his head on the table, Robin had her head on Barney's shoulder, and Marshall and Lily both looked genuinely bored to death.

"And, to top it all off, scented candles." Ted finished with great confidence, smug as ever.

"Why scented?" Lily inquired.

"Because, Lily, if you're trapped in your apartment for days on end, you at least want all of the rooms to smell good." He then added, under his breath, "What's with this one, am I right?"

"Ted, as much as your little dork pack could be helpful, don't you think it's a bit much?" Robin asked, gently nudging Barney to get his head off the table. "I mean, this isn't the apocalypse or anything. Back in Canada, this kind of thing was physically nothing to us. If you had a hockey stick lodged halfway between your eye and your brain, there was a good chance you'd be up the next morning and ready to shoot moose, so…yeah, we literally own you guys when it comes to medical care." She proudly swigged half of her beer as Barney just stared at her.

"Wow," he commented. "That sentence was so Canadian that I think I need a translator."

Marshall pondered Robin's point, the back of his hand against his mouth as he thought. "You know, Robin doesn't have a point here."

"What?!" she reacted in a higher than usual voice. "I…have a point, Eriksen!"

"Yeah, provided we're in Canada, which we're not," Marshall countered sassily. "And who says that this isn't the apocalypse? The year's 2015, guys. I mean, we're three years past 2012, and forgive me if I'm wrong, but technically we were supposed to be seeing zombies three years ago. Those flesh eating creatures don't give you a warning as to when they're coming, they just come, and before you know it, you'll be eating your best friend's organs. I'm sorry if I eat your organs, Ted."

"Apology accepted." He high-fived Marshall.

"Guys, there are no zombies, end of story." Barney interjected, sick and tired now of his friends' far out assumptions. "I mean, sure we've all maybe once had that zombie chick fantasy-"

"Barney," Lily interrupted, not in the mood for one of Barney's creepy fantasy stories today. "Please don't."

"Look, all I'm saying is that this will all pass," Barney concluded. "Give it time."

(It didn't pass.)

Weeks later, the infection worsened everywhere, and Ted was the first to move out of his apartment to find contaminant free grounds, then followed by Marshall and Lily, and finally Barney and Robin. According to the news, there wasn't exactly a safe area, but the best bet would be outside, where the air was still somehow cleaner.

Despite the whining of Barney, Ted erected a few tents in an upstairs parking garage for all of them to stay in, at least until the virus weakened. Using his duffel bag as a pillow and snuggling underneath a warm throw, it didn't take Ted a long time to drift off into a deep sleep.

…

It had to be at least 10:00 the next morning when it happened. Ted jolted awake, drenched in a cold sweat and breathing heavily. He recalled his surroundings- right, he'd put up a tent to sleep in because of some virus. He wasn't in his apartment anymore. But something wasn't right, and Ted could feel it- that horrible, sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.

The moment he unzipped the tent and stepped out, he was tackled by something that he quickly realized looked neither human nor animal. And whatever it was, it was trying desperately to bite into his neck, He screamed for Marshall instinctively as he struggled to fight off the being, whatever it may have been.

But it was Robin who came to the rescue first. "Holy crap!" she screamed. Instantly, she whipped out her handgun, insuring that the aim was right before pulling the trigger. Luckily, it was, and with a bang, the zombie fell dead to the ground.

Ted, obviously more than shaken, was panting heavily minutes afterward, his entire body quivering as he stood. Then, looking down, he noticed that there were flecks of blood spattered on his shirt, not from a bite, but from the zombie itself.

"Aww, man, that thing ruined my shirt!"

Just then, Barney emerged from the tent behind them. "What happened, is Ted okay? I heard screaming." He then noticed the zombie corpse on the ground, and his eyes widened in fear; "Oh no," he said under his breath. Then, a minute later, "Marshall's trying to prank us with fake zombies! HA! Nice one, dude." He patted Marshall on the shoulder, who was still staring at the zombie.

"Um…Barney, that wasn't fake."

"Uh-huh, sure it wasn't, ya trickster! Ya had us all scared to death back there, I was fearing for Ted's life! Man, you're an even greater prank-puller than I am, and that's saying something!"

Robin bent down to the body of the zombie and lifted its head. The head popped off with one simple pluck. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure this isn't fake."

Barney's smile faded from his face as he recoiled slightly. "Oh…so, that wasn't a prop?"

Ted shook his head slowly. "Not. A. Prop."

Barney nervously scratched the back of his head. "Would you excuse me for a minute?" He quickly dove back into the tent and zipped it. "I'll be here when you need me, guys. Just holler, I promise."

Lily changed the subject. "Well, on a more positive note, at least Robin had a gun."

"Yeah, if I didn't, Ted would be feasting on all our innards right now," Robin stated, tucking the gun away as Ted looked perplexedly at her. Why was he the one that everyone thought was most likely to become a zombie?

"I can't believe this is really happening," Marshall commented. "I mean, all my years I've- I've dreamed of this, literally and figuratively. But it really is happening. And it really is kinda awesome."

Robin shrugged, halfway in agreement to that. At least now was a time that she could legitimately (and legally) use her gun, and for good purposes too.

Barney reemerged from his tent and took a deep breath. "Okay, guys, I have a plan. Since, evidently, there's some kind of creepy zombie breakout going on right now, my suggestion is that I, Barney Stinson, lead our team and…try to get us to a safer area or something."

They all looked apprehensively at Barney, who continued, "What? I'm the laser tag master, have you forgotten that? Seriously, if anyone here has some serious shooting skills, it would be me. I mean, shooting zombies with actual bullets can't be too different from shooting kids with laser guns. Logic, guys.

Ted still looked reluctant, so Barney continued further. "Plus, I'm terribly attractive," he said, naming off reasons on his fingers one by one. "I can punch pretty hard, and I'm the only one here who's dressed for the occasion. I'm your guy!"

"You're wearing a suit," Marshall stated dryly.

"Even in times of an apocalyptic nature, a bro must continue with his sartoriality," Barney countered, quickly kissing the tips of his fingers and pointing them skywards. "One for the bro gods."

"He does make some logical points," Robin said in agreement with her husband's harebrained schemes. "I say that I act as his assistant, because, let's face it, Scherbatsky's got some uh…pretty quick gun hands herself." She walked over to Barney, draped her arm over his shoulder, and winked. "Pow."

And so it was, that, without further argument, Barney and Robin became leaders of the team. They were, surprisingly, both better than expected- or at least Robin was, due to her past experiences with guns and shooting ranges as a whole. The same night, the gang 'suited up' with the additional clothes that they had brought in preparation. They would swap out their old outfits for new, battle worthy ones, clothes that were well suited to zombie killing.

And Marshall, knowing for years that this was going to happen at some point, provided everyone else with small golden badges, explaining to them that he 'made the badges years ago in the instance that they would all end up a zombie apocalypse team.'

He was indeed right- they were just exactly that. All five of them stood there, in the desolated, soon to be ruins of New York City. They were the only survivors now. They were the MacLaren's Five, and they wouldn't be taken down by some beings from the grave. They would put up a fight, even if they risked their lives doing so