A/N: I don't know why, but I feel honour bound to warn you about the sex, so...

Adult Content Warning - Yep, you heard me...

9 Months Later...

The decision to leave Zhu's Hope had not been made lightly. It had grieved Shiala deeply to give up the fight after so long, but her decades as a high ranking commando had taught her how to recognise when the odds were simply overwhelming. And so it had been, with a heavy heart, she had made the call to evacuate the colony. Feros, and most of the Theseus System, were lost to the Reapers, but Earth and Ilium could still be saved. Begrudgingly, the colonists had collected their small amounts of belongings, had said their sad farewells, and had gone their separate ways, prepared to jump into the fray in whatever way they could.

Shiala missed the humans from the colony, the intimate bond they'd shared through the traumatic experience that the Thorian had put them through, but saying goodbye was the very nature of being an asari. Living a 1,000 year life meant that she had farewelled many loved ones, and would continue to do so until the day she finished her Matriarch stage. The pain was with her, but it never overcame her, she just absorbed it and allowed it to become a part of who she was, strengthening her in its own small way.

She leaned against the railing of the Presdium, overlooking the gardens. It had been years since she'd visited the Citadel, and after only one week of being there, waiting for her very special escort to Ilium, Shiala already felt… different. She wasn't sure if it was real or just wishful thinking, but her biotics felt stronger, more stable. She'd even felt brave enough to lift a chair in her hotel room that morning, moving it around the room in a slow, controlled circle, before bringing it back to rest in the spot where it had started. The shared thoughts of the colonists were out of her mind, her skin seemed to have changed in colour, however minutely, and the Thorian's voice had never been quieter; a mere breath on the edge of her brain.

The Citadel felt strange. Shiala had visited it hundreds of times in her long life, having stayed for long visits when her commando squad had a high stakes political escort job, or an extended shore leave pass. It had seen its share of firefights over the centuries, and just over two years ago it had experienced its first full-scale invasion, but nothing had tarnished it quite as much as the recent coup attempt. The bullet holes and broken glass were still on display, a constant reminder that the war was real, that it was coming to every corner of life, and that not even the Galaxy's elite could step up and save them. According to all reports, they had been so close to being bested, so close to the entire centre of galactic diplomacy resting in the hands of a human supremacy group. So close... if it wasn't for Shepard. Her Shepard.

She was dragged from her thoughts when the crowd suddenly parted, the predominantly asari, human and turian mob of civilians milling around and gossiping excitedly amongst themselves, as a single figure made her way through the path that had been cleared. The relief that rose in Shiala's chest when she saw the woman with her own eyes, alive and free, was indescribable.

"Commander Shepard!" Shiala called out as the spectre marched determinedly towards her, completely unaware of the effect she was having on the bystanders, her gaze fixed squarely on Shiala.

The commander looked different, completely formidable in her Alliance uniform, all straight lines and edges, a tense expression on her face. Her shoulders looked broader in her navy blue blazer, her eyes had a haunted look in them, and her hair had grown again, pinned back in a tight bun, giving her a more severe appearance.

Shepard's face broke into a smile when she got closer, beaming at the green asari that was rapidly crossing the distance between them. This time, Shepard didn't let herself get intimidated by the prospect of being rejected. It was the end of the galaxy, as far as she could see. What better time to put yourself out there?

Both women met in the middle and wrapped each other in a tight embrace, with Shiala lifting the commander slightly off the ground and spinning her once. Laughing softly, Shepard breathed in Shiala's scent; that dainty, fruity scent that she loved so much, as the asari put her back down on her feet.

"Thank you for waiting for me," Shepard said, taking Shiala's hands in hers and squeezing them, "I'm sorry it took us so long to get here."

Shiala met her gaze and smiled. "I have enjoyed the diversion. Even in this state the Citadel is... a marvel. Thank you for offering to transport me. I am honoured to be invited aboard your famous ship."

Shepard leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips, ignoring the glances and hushed chattering of the nearby observers. "You're very welcome. We needed to head out to the Terminus anyway, and all reports indicate that Ilium is holding out well. You'll be safe there."

"Safe… yes," Shiala said thoughtfully, swallowing deeply at the memory of the way Feros had become so quickly and easily overwhelmed.

"I'm sorry about Zhu's Hope. You made the right call," Shepard said, releasing a hand and rubbing Shiala's upper arm tenderly.

"Thank you, Shepard," Shiala said sincerely, comforted by the words and touch.

Shepard guided Shiala's hand through the crook of her arm, an old human gesture of 'gallantry', if the extranet was to be believed. Leading her favourite asari through the Presidium ward and to the elevator that would take them to the Normandy's docking bay, Shepard couldn't seem to wipe the smile off her face.

"It is beautiful," Shiala finally said, mesmerised by the tropical fish swimming back and forth in their wall length tank in the commander's cabin.

Pouring two glasses of wine and putting them down on the coffee table, Shepard settled down on the couch and folded one leg over the other. She watched Shiala from across the room, appreciating the supple curve of her hips, the slim line of her waist, her flat stomach, her prominent breasts. Shepard had grown to love the silhouette of the asari crest. Every time she saw one, it had an unbidden effect on her, and she instantly thought about how Shiala quivered during the far-too-rare opportunities that Shepard had had to stroke it. It sometimes made being around Liara a bit difficult, but now that she was back in Shiala's presence, she enjoyed the view unashamedly.

"I've been very lucky to have been given command of the Normandy," Shepard answered, allowing the pride to ring clearly in her voice, "It's been a privilege to captain such a cutting edge vessel, with one of the best multilateral crews ever assembled."

Shiala turned to her and smiled. Shepard seemed so relaxed on her ship, and her crew obviously adored her. Shiala had nodded and made polite comments during her tour of the vessel, but she'd really been watching Shepard the whole time. The way she transformed under the command. The way those thin, frail shoulders suddenly became capable of holding the responsibility for every single soul on the vessel. It was a magnificent sight to behold.

Shepard had been proud to guide Shiala around her ship, proud to have her squad and crew know that the stunning asari was her guest. She had stumbled, however, when it came to how to introduce Shiala around. Was Shiala just a friend that she sometimes slept with? Her long-distance girlfriend? Her... bondmate? It was an unusual situation, and she knew far too little about asari customs to even take a guess at how Shiala viewed their fleeting encounters. If Shepard was somebody else, if her life didn't revolve around flying in circles across the galaxy and getting frequently shot at, this relationship could be something great. In fact, it almost certainly would be, if she had any kind of say in it. But she was who she was, and the best she could offer anyone at the moment was this; small snippets of time and intimacy.

Shiala crossed the room and took a seat beside Shepard, letting their legs rest against each other in a sign of comfort. She reached for the glass of wine that Shepard had poured for her, and smiled as the bouquet hit her nose. Thessian wine. A good vintage. Rare and expensive. She wasn't sure of the lengths in which Shepard must have gone to to procure this for her, and she felt a swell of affection rise within herself. Shepard returned the smile and reached across with her own glass, hitting it gently against Shiala's with a quiet "clink-ing" sound.

"To being reunited," Shepard said shyly, her cheeks colouring slightly as she noticed the confused look on Shiala's face.

She would explain the concept of "cheers" later, but for now, she wanted to talk about other things. About everything. Time was of the essence, and Shiala couldn't stay on-board the Normandy forever. She had important things to do on Ilium - family to find, defenses to plan. The entire future of the planet could be changed by having this very powerful, very experienced commando fighting on their side, and Shepard felt selfish for even being tempted to bogart her.

Shepard had never met a woman like Shiala. She'd never felt such a bond with anyone. It felt supernatural, and way too good to be true. Things like this didn't happen to her. Women like this didn't fall for her. Falling... it had been on her mind almost constantly since she'd left Feros nine months earlier. She could fall in love with Shiala. Easily. She half suspected she already had, and was annoyed at herself for the stupidity of it. They had spent less than 100 hours together in total, over the course of a year. That was it. Granted, most of it had been engaged in some sort of intimate bond, but still, it wasn't possible… was it?

They talked for over an hour. Shepard shared the small wins, the highlights of the war, carefully skirting around the devastating losses, the millions of lives that had been snuffed out in mere hours. Shiala didn't need to know the horror that Shepard had witnessed. Shepard would be careful to cover those parts of her mind when they were intimate. If they were intimate. It wasn't that Shepard considered Shiala a sure bet, she was just happy to be in her company again after so long apart. Still, given their history, it wasn't completely off the cards, and she would definitely take more care not to burden the asari with her emotions this time. That had been... bad.

Finishing her second glass of wine and placing the goblet down on the white coffee table, Shiala ran a hand up Shepard's thigh, feeling the sleek material of the commander's navy blue uniform. Shepard put her own half full glass on the table next to Shiala's and rested her hand on top of the asari's, stroking her knuckles with calloused fingertips. Shiala reached over, cupping Shepard's jawline with her hand and pulling her closer, letting their lips collide in a heated kiss. Shiala wasn't sure what it was about Commander Shepard, but she found herself unable to control herself around the woman, even the smallest kisses and touches had a way of kicking her libido into overdrive.

Quickly unsatisfied by the gentle kiss, Shiala pulled Shepard over, bringing her to rest on the asari's lap in a straddling position. Unpinning the hair and dragging her fingers through it, Shiala brought Shepard in close, pressing their warm bodies together. Shepard sighed with relief at the sensation, and brought her hands up to Shiala's crest, running her fingertips along the ridges and tweaking the tips. Shiala shuddered in response, feeling her desire to undress, meld and have sex - in that exact order - amplify at every fresh touch of Shepard's nimble hands.

Releasing the handfuls of thick red hair, Shiala brought her fingers down to Shepard's shirt, impatiently unbuttoning the thin fabric and exposing the breasts beneath. Shepard was wearing a lacy black bra, and Shiala pulled away from the kiss to admire it, running the pads of her fingers over it before cupping both of the breasts hiding beneath the material.

Shepard trailed her way down Shiala's throat, the asari throwing her head back and allowing the commander's lips and tongue better access to the sensitive skin. Shepard worked her way across the rise of Shiala's collarbones, synchronising her mouth with the work her fingers were doing at the back of Shiala's crest, bringing the asari a dull, pulsating desire that started in her abdomen and then slowly travelled south.

"Too many clothes," Shiala murmured, pulling Shepard's shirt off her arms and dumping it on the floor, running her hands over the exposed arms and torso.

Shepard groaned in agreement, taking the zip of Shiala's bodysuit in her fingers and dragging it down to its starting point, just below the asari's belly button. Looking at the unbearable beauty resting beneath her, Shepard felt the anticipation rise within her. She needed to worship every inch of Shiala. She needed to feel her presence inside her head. She needed... her.

Their breaths came out in hot gasps as they began touching the plains of available flesh, the awkward positioning of their bodies not allowing for as much exposure as either would have liked. Releasing a breast and reaching out to stroke Shepard's cheek with her hand, Shiala asked the wordless question with the look on her face. Shepard nodded her permission, and Shiala let her mind move forward, her body too intent on gratification to control the strength and speed. Shepard accepted her easily this time, her mind more prepared for the intensity of the meld after all the practice she had gotten over their time together in Zhu's Hope. The meld was relatively deep almost instantly, their thoughts, emotions and sensations being shared as if they were mutual property.

Shiala had been living amongst humans for almost three years now, and although she had kept to herself as often as appropriate, she was familiar with a lot of their culture. However, one of Shepard's passing thoughts made her pause and her cock her head.

"What is an apple pie?"

Shepard laughed in response, part embarrassed at the slip. "It's a dessert. I haven't had one for years, but from memory, they taste a lot like your skin. Especially your mouth and your..."

"Oh!" Shiala gasped in surprise as Shepard shared the sensory memory of her intimate body parts with her, "I see."

"I'll bake you one someday," Shepard said confidently, although Shiala could feel the underlying doubt beneath those words.

They were losing. They were losing the war. Shiala could see it, hear it, feel it. She had known it herself, the first time she had seen the Reapers descend upon Feros, but to actually access the confirmation within the commander's mind filled her with desperation. She needed to feel alive.

"Bed," Shiala said through the meld, sending through the image of what she wanted their bodies to do, posing it as a question. It was an act she knew was possible between two asari, she had experienced it many times, but she still harboured some uncertainty as to the capabilities of the human physique.

Shepard sent back her own image as a confirmation, the position somewhat altered but the act remaining the same, and Shiala's onyx eyes widened as her desire multiplied tenfold. Shepard climbed off her lap, and they both undressed frantically, Shiala liberating herself of her clothing quickly, before turning her attentions to Shepard and yanking her pants down when she went too slow. Shuffling to the bed with heavy kisses and fondling, Shiala pushed Shepard backwards and fell with her, revelling in the delicious skin on skin contact.

Crawling up the bed, Shiala straddled Shepard with thick, powerful thighs. Bringing Shepard's hands above her head and linking their fingers, she pressed another possessive kiss upon the human's mouth, feeling the rise of desire within the commander, the way she craved to give up this tiny bit of control. Shepard moaned as the asari's tongue rediscovered her mouth. She could feel Shiala's want, feel the echo of the kiss and the pressure of their bodies moulded against each other.

"Shiala," Shepard almost plead into the meld, "Please…"

Breaking the kiss and releasing Shepard's hands, Shiala gripped both the human's thighs and pulled them apart, re-positioning their bodies in the way Shepard had shown her in the image, one leg over the other. Shiala took the top position, guiding their body cores together, and they both jolted in ecstasy as bright pink flesh met dark teal. Shiala couldn't tell which one of them was more slippery with arousal, and they glided against each other seamlessly with a few gentle sways of Shiala's pelvis. Feeling the unbridled pleasure from her partner, and the blazing of her own nerves as they were set on fire by the contact, Shiala set the pace by rocking her hips back and forth, responding to the human's needs by listening to her cues through the meld.

Shepard gripped the pillow behind her with one hand, biting her bottom lip with lust as her free hand cupped Shiala's breast, getting a loud mewl of satisfaction from her counterpart. Feeling the phantom touch on her own breast, she kneaded firmly, dragging her thumb over the nipple and feeling it stiffen under her touch, her own nipple following suit.

The visual of Shiala's graceful movements was almost too much for Shepard to bare, and the entire sex act was quickly becoming a test in how to avoid an embarrassingly fast orgasm. Shiala's face was inclined slightly, her eyes were closed, her lips were parted in pleasure. The light from the fish tank cast the silhouette of the crest in such a way that Shepard was sure she would never again be able to look at another asari without blushing. The soft neck clenched with every breath, the breasts bounced up and down with every movement, and the flat, perfect abdomen rolled rhythmically with every buck of those full, green hips.

"You are too beautiful," Shepard said without words, clenching her jaw as Shiala brought her a particularly intense wave of pleasure with a deliberately slow stroke.

"As are you," Shiala answered, opening her eyes and looking down at the human, running her hand along Shepard's neck and resting it on her collarbone.

Sensing the commander's close proximity to release, Shiala gripped Shepard's backside with one hand, raising her pelvis off the bed slightly and making the contact between their bodies almost unbearably close. She sped up her movements, feeling the heat build between them as the slick friction gave them both the exact satisfaction they needed.

Shiala had never had a lover whose body was so responsive to hers, so quick to deliver and receive pleasure, so perfectly suited to her own form in each and every way. Not even the other asaris she'd been with had had this effect on her. If things were different... If the war was over... this human would be her bondmate. She knew it. Shepard knew it. But for the moment, they would both have to make do with this.

Sensing the end in sight, Shiala sunk herself as deep into the meld as she dared, coming dangerously close to a reproduction bond, but controlling herself before she went too far. She could no longer discern whose pleasure was whose, whose body was doing what, and who exactly all these emotions were originating from.

They could both feel the intensity rising within each other as the orgasm began to form inside them. The physical and emotional pleasures were swirling around each other, bound together, and destined to come spilling out in one pivotal moment. It was an emotion that was universal, it could be traced to neither the human nor the asari that made up the two halves of this rapturous whole. The all consuming fire, the exquisite madness, the raw, possessive, tangible passion filling them both up, reflecting back and forth between them a hundred times until neither of them could stand it anymore.

"Shiala… I think I…"

"I know, Shepard. I love you too."

At the sound of the words, they both went crashing over the threshold together, grinding wildly against each other with raw, untamed need. Shepard brought both hands to Shiala's hips and dug in her nails until they left crescent shaped dents in the skin, as she tried desperately to keep herself anchored to some form of reality, to not lose herself entirely in the eternal pleasure of the asari joining. The cry that pierced the softly lit, blue-hued cabin was animalistic, the sound of a woman who had received the greatest pleasure in the galaxy, everything she had ever wanted or needed.

Shiala was drowning in the ecstasy, her movements losing their grace almost immediately and becoming jerky spasms as their shared orgasm nearly made her black out. Slowly rocking until the physical release was no more, the asari stiffly untangled their legs and collapsed down on top of Shepard, her auditory canal finding the heartbeat drumming within the human's chest.

Shepard stroked Shiala's crest, running her rough fingertips along every bump and dip, committing them to memory, tickling every tip until Shiala almost wanted to make love again. Almost. She could sense the commander's exhaustion, the deep meld had taken hours, like it always did, and she knew her own stomach muscles and thighs would be uncomfortably sore from their workout when she woke in the morning.

"Nobody's ever loved me before," Shepard sent the thought, a small wave of embarrassment emanating from her at the admission.

"Nobody has ever seen your soul before," Shiala sent back, reaching her hand up and cradling Shepard's face.

Shepard pressed a kiss onto Shiala's forehead, and the asari rolled off her, taking a place beside her on the bed and entwining their bodies in the favourite sleeping position they'd discovered on their long weekend together on Feros. She could sense Shepard's poorly masked dread, and she felt her own. Ilium was only a two day cruise from the Citadel, and they were already eight hours into the trip. This would likely be the last time they would get to see each other. Nobody could cheat death as many times as Commander Shepard had. There would be a price to pay eventually. There always was. And it pained Shiala to think of Shepard facing it alone.

"I can stay with you," Shiala said softly, feeling the commander's rush of emotions at the prospect, "I can fight with you. Until the end, if that is what is required."

Shepard paused for a moment, almost overcome by the desire to say yes. To wave off whatever responsibilities Shiala had to her own people. To just... be with her, for as long as she could. But her clinical mind won the battle, like it always did whenever her own happiness was on the line.

"I would love that, but you belong on Ilium. Go and find your sisters and nieces. Protect them. Help them prepare. When this is over…" she stopped dead and bit her lip. There was no use in making promises. The end of the war would come, and Shepard could not balk, no matter what was asked of her.

"I want to be with you, too," Shiala said, stroking Shepard's cheek with the back of her hand, "We will find somewhere peaceful. You will never have to see another war, Shepard."

Shepard smiled softly and closed her eyes. "No war," she murmured, nuzzling her face in closer to the nook of Shiala's shoulder, "I don't even remember what that feels like."

Shiala began to pull away from the meld, but Shepard clung to her, both physically and mentally. "Stay with me," she begged, "Please, stay in there. The nightmares won't come if you're with me."

Shiala did as she was asked and, for the first time in her life, she slept the entire night while still joined to another consciousness. When the images came - the whispering shadows and the burning child - Shiala took Shepard somewhere else; to watch the sunrise on Thessia, to overlook the mountains of Palaven, to look up at the skyscrapers of Sur'Kesh that were so tall they touched the clouds.

It was the best that either of them had slept for years.

Stepping into the airlock as the Normandy docked at Nos Astras, Shepard snatched Shiala's forearm and pulled her in close. It felt like this was always the way it was going to be for them. Some variation of the word "goodbye."

"I love you," Shepard whispered, her voice slightly husky with emotion, "Stay safe. Please."

"Go and win this war for us, Shepard," Shiala said, holding the human tightly, never wanting to let her go, "When this is done…"

"We'll find each other," Shepard finished, leaning in and kissing her like her life depended on it.

The words were hollow and neither of the women believed them, but the idea of saying goodbye forever was too much to bare. And so they stood there, wrapped in a lie, willing the universe to just smile on them and give them one last chance.