That A/N I put at the beginning of all my stories to apologize for being crazy: I'm not actually starting a new story here, I just had this sitting in my documents and Duesal Bladesinger, Igornerd, and Blaizekit convinced me I should post it. Maybe after I finish M:TABD I'll do something more with it, but for now, enjoy the beginnings of what promises to be some S-rank crazy.

And sorry for being crazy. D: Warning: Probably laced with at least a little bit of crack, this story. XD But probably no more than the original series is.

Chapter One: After

"Tsunade obaa-chan!" A familiar voice shouted, making the fifth Hokage growl in annoyance and her ANBU guards stiffen as an orange blur appeared on the window. She turned a glare on him, but Naruto ignored it, stepping into the room without waiting for permission. "I'm your heir, right? Tell that teme I'm next in line after you and he can wait for me to kick the bucket!"

"Hmph, like anyone would put a dobe like you in charge," another voice retorted, making Tsunade and her bodyguards jump as they whirled to face the previously unnoticed presence of Uchiha Sasuke seemingly melt from the shadows in the corner.

Damn ninjas, Tsunade muttered in her head, they'll be the death of me. Out loud she said, "Naruto, stop calling me that! And you two, quit coming into my office unannounced!"

"Eh? But it's just Gaara and Shikamaru's girlfriend. Hi Gaara!"

The Kazekage nodded in greeting, "Naruto."

The girl beside him stiffened, and Tsunade fought the urge to facepalm as the sand kunoichi turned red and exploded. "I told you we're not- We're just working together to organized the Chunin exams!"

Tsunade closed her eyes as she tried to think up the best way to get rid of the two that had been dogging her since the day after the fight with Madara. It seemed they were in her office every day to name one of them her successor. She was half tempted to retire right then and there and see which one survived the paperwork. Nah, it was probably too unprofessional to retire and start a succession crisis in the middle of a meeting with the Kazekage. Not that Gaara had ever been one to care about that sort of thing.

Around her she could hear the two's argument heating up as the sand siblings looked on in mild curiosity. The third sibling would have also been there, but had been... kidnapped as soon as the village children had been made aware of his presence.

She wished she had a nice S-class mission she could send them on, something Naruto couldn't just send a kage bunshin out to do while he stayed here and pestered her. Unfortunately she didn't. She sighed inwardly. All she wanted to do was finish the final executive decisions required of her before passing the Chunin exams onto the other chunin to handle.

It was then that the idea came to her. It was the desperate idea of a woman at the end of her rope, but it was there. An evil, sadistic, brilliant, idea. She managed to keep her maniacal laughter inside her head but couldn't resist steepling her fingers with malicious intent.

"You know, Naruto," she began, instantly earning the attention of everyone in the room, "you're absolutely right."

"I am?"

"Oh, yes. It is way past time I named a successor." Never mind the fact that she couldn't actually do that. As she'd repeatedly tried to explain to him, Hokages were elected by the council, not chosen by her; though her consideration would be taken into account. It wasn't her fault he hadn't listened to her.

"Yes!" Naruto cheered.

Oh, don't cheer yet, she mused. "It's just too bad I can't seem to find anyone qualified."

The moment of silent shock in the room was almost as priceless as the look on Naruto's face. It took him almost a whole fifteen seconds before he could find his voice. "Are you going senile, old hag? I'm right here! Me!"

Sasuke snorted but otherwise remained in broody silence.

"I'm sorry, Naruto, but you don't qualify. For the same reason Sasuke doesn't," the Godaime explained. Enjoying the baffled looks exchanged between the two, she went on. "You're both still Genin."

This time the silence lasted only a second before Temari laughed. "No way! That's just... you guys never passed the chuunin exam?"

"Hey! I was busy training!" Naruto protested. Sasuke didn't say anything but Tsunade could tell by the scowl on his face, he didn't think he was going to like where this conversation was headed.

"Still," Tsunade interrupted again, "this is easy enough to fix."

"You're giving us a promotion?" Naruto asked hopefully.

"Sure."

"Yes!"

"Just as soon as you pass your chuunin exam."

"What?! Obaa-chan, that's not fair!"

Tsunade smirked as she raised an eyebrow. "And promoting you out of the blue while every other genin in the village has to take the exam is?"

"But... but..." Naruto sputtered, glancing around at the other occupants of the room for help. "We're like the strongest ninja in the village!"

"All the more reason you should be ashamed of yourself for not passing the exam sooner. Honestly. I'm sure Madara and Pain are rolling in their graves right now at having been defeated by a genin."

Naruto scowled as he tried to think up another argument. "Oi, Sasuke-teme, say something!"

"Hmph," The Uchiha replied, "If this is what it takes to become Hokage..."

"Yeah! You're right. We'll take your stupid test, old hag! And we're going to ace it!"

"Great. Good luck finding a third genin for your team who isn't already in one." That should keep them out of her hair for a while. Leaving the two of them to puzzle over the dilemma of finding their third teammate, she turned back to the Kazekage in hopes of getting some real work done. Temari seemed to have other things on her mind.

"Actually," the blonde kunoichi spoke up, tapping her lips thoughtfully and giving her brother a sly look. "Now that you mention it, Hokage-sama, Gaara never passed the exams either."

The sand user shot her a sharp look that would have had her quailing in fear just a few years before, but now merely caused her to blink back at him in feigned innocence. She had a good twelve years of big sister annoying-ness to catch up on, and this seemed like a golden opportunity.

"Really?" Naruto asked, his face lighting up hopefully.

Gaara turned his gaze back toward his blonde friend and inclined his head ever so slightly. "Yes."

"Great! Then that makes three! The chuunin exams won't even know what hit them!" Naruto cheered

"Naruto!" Tsunade barked out, scandalized. "You can't have the Kazekage on your team for the chuunin exam!"

"Why not? You just said it wasn't fair to everyone else to allow people to skip the exam! How can he be a fair leader if he ignores the rules? This way his people can trust him more!"

Tsunade scowled back at him for twisting her logic back on her and scrambled for another argument. "He's the Kazekage, and, as such, not my jurisdiction. How Suna handles rank promotion is up to them and I won-"

"I'll do it," Gaara interrupted. "Naruto is right. I will not ask something of my people I would not ask of myself."

Giving up on hiding her irritation, Tsunade sank down into her chair and began massaging her temples. "You... are you even aware of the political ramifications?"

She was ignored, however, when an over-excited orange blur rushed forward to link one arm with Gaara's, and other other with Sasuke's before dragging them both out of her office; all the while babbling some nonsense about how he had the best team ever in the history of ever. Even if one of them was Sasuke-teme.

Tsunade stared after them with something of a mix between horror and awe. What had she just unleashed upon those poor unsuspecting genin?

A/N (The real one): There you go. S-rank crazy ftw. I love Gaara... Poor Tsunade...

Chapter two is already mostly written and I have a few days off of work. Maybe I'll be able to finish it? XD

You guys will be surprised who ends up being their Jounin sensei. X3

Story Rec (because I can and my list of stories to rec is getting longish):

Kitsune by EmptySurface - I already put one of his stories up in M:TABD, but this one is really good too! I"ll just post the summary because I'm trying to hurry up and post this and go get stuff done:

"When finding himself stranded in the past, what is a man supposed to do? Surrounded by old friends who are younger than you remember, and without anyone to lean on, life becomes a challenge. Will he be able to forge new friendships and change the course of the future, to prevent the blood soaked world he came from? Failure equals death and mindless destruction. Time-travel."

It's awesome, and I love this guy's(girl's? Sorry, I don't know your gender. DX) writing style. Hasn't been updated in a few months, but still worth checking out. :3

-Py