To all the people who were kind enough to lend me their precious for this project and to my friends Grace, Anna and Micah… you'll most likely never read this but I'm sorry I stole you guys! Anyway, I fixed it! No more coding errors …Hopefully. On with the show!
Resort Cabin: Girls room
'Twas a beautiful morning that day, the birds were chirping a beautiful tune, the wild animals were all peaceful and just waking up. Speaking of waking up "Ahhhhhhh!"
Minx stretched as she sat up on her bed. As her arms lifted so did her black tank top, a hint of bellybutton could be seen amidst her lightly sun-kissed skin. She stifled a yawn and looked around the room to see what the others had gone off to do.
Dusk and Kansas both sat on one bed, with a towel and clean versions of the clothes they had on yesterday. Dusk had apparently fallen asleep and was now drooling all over her Ghost Town t-shirt and black pajama pants. Minx got up groggily and saw that Kansas had a frustrated look upon her face.
Minx yawned again "Wha-a-a-a-ats the matter sweetcheecks? Has your precious plumbing backed up?"
Kansas scoffed and replied "Ugh, no! It's just Micah's hogging the shower right now, been in there for about an hour!"
Minx chuckled "What, is the little Techno-nerd afraid he's gonna dry up and crack?"
Kansas scoffed once more and rolled her eyes "Probably wants to smell like he was swimming in rose petals to attract some guys!"
Minx smiled "That gay prick better not waste all the water, looks like there are people here who want to bath in hot water!"
Kansas looked appalled "You bathe?"
Minx nodded "Course I do, just cause I'm a delinquent doesn't mean I enjoy smelling like one! I'm still a girl you know!"
Just then the room was filled with a foul stench that reeked of multiple things, onions, trash bags, burritos, Owen and ballet shoes… what the fu-
"And twirl and twist and leap and 1 2 3, 1 2 3!" Anna announced to herself Minx and Kansas held their noses and ran out of the room. The stench was enough to wake the dead!
"(Yawn! Sniff sniff) what is that horrid smell!?" yelled Dusk as she plugged her nose and ran out of the room. Not hearing all the commotion Anna finally stopped and said "All right that's enough for now! So guys when is breakfast? ... Guys?"
Confessionals
Anna: Was it something I said?
Minx: That smell has got to go, one way or another!
Liam: (Whistles the theme song and pulls up the toilet seat. He pulls down his pants and sits, pulling out a book) He raised her over his head and cried out to the people bellow "SANCTUARY! SANCTUARY! SANCTUARY!"
End confessionals
Resort Cabin: Dining room
"Pancakes? Don't mind if I do!" Johnny began to stuff his face with said pancakes as Erik and Sean walked into the room. Erik looked around the room and took a long whiff, the aroma relaxed his tense feeling as he sat down and told the waitress what he wanted. As he finished he looked over to his right and saw a horrible sight. Johnny grinned evilly at Erik, causing him to back up into the person behind him, Liam.
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Erik shrieked
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Liam shrieked in reply
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Erik ran off at this point leaving Liam and Johnny to laugh. Sean looked up from his PSP and saw the other two laughing, not knowing why they laughed he joined them.
Just then Dusk, Kansas and Minx ran into the room with fingers pinching their noses. The boys looked at them weirdly, Minx noticed and answered their curiosity "Anna smells horrible!"
The boys stared at each other for a moment and burst into laughter. The girls ignored them and Dusk unplugged her nose, she took a whiff and smelled something even worse than Anna, Johnny! She ran out of the room leaving Kansas and Minx to figure out why. They unplugged their noses and sniffed the air.
Gourmet breakfast coming from the kitchen, Cologne which they realized came from Sean, Cashews not surprisingly coming from Liam and for a brief moment dog's pee and poo which they knew, from Noah's audio commentary, came from Johnny.
But that scent, and all scents, were soon stolen away from their noses as they became numbed to everything save for one fragrance. The fragrance of a man… more or less.
True this scent had a hint of rose petals but that was only a small percentage of it. What else lied in this smell was unimportant to the two girls, they had become infatuated with it. They followed the scent of a tropical fruit salad and freshly baked brownies to behind them. They weren't in the least surprised at who it was.
The Tech Geek stood there in a fresh out of the laundry replica of the clothes he wore yesterday. His clothes smelled of strawberry scented detergent and looked as soft as a fluffy marshmallow. His glasses appeared to have been neatly cleaned and his hair nicely groomed. The rose petals came from what they realized as his cologne, he gave off the impression that he had been in a rose garden before coming to eat. They just waited for the one thing left to smell
"Uuuummm, why are you two looking at me like that?" he asked in a dull nonchalant voice. The two girls wasted no time and sniffed the air, mint had joined the mix of pleasing fragrances.
The two opened their eyes and gazed lustfully at Micah. Unfortunately, he noticed this a little two late
"What the fu- ooff!" the girls tackled Micah both trying to grasp him in a tight hug. Now Micah wasn't a bit strong in the sense of physicality, but since this was a position that brains couldn't get out of, he quickly gave up his attempts to deflect this assault. But he wasn't complaining that two beautiful girls had quite literally attached themselves to him.
Sean had gone back to GTA and Liam had bounded off somewhere unknown, but Johnny? He was left starring at the scene that had unfolded in front of him in complete shock.
Confessionals
Johnny: The entirety of this team sucks. Anna smells bad, Sean is odd, Liam is crazy, Kansas is flawless, Minx is a peasant, Dusk is unnerving, Micah is a lazy self-absorbed asshole, Erik is weak and Scarlett is… wait where is she?
End Confessionals
Phaecifer slept soundly that night despite being sent out to sleep in the woods since his team hated his presence. He had found an abandoned skunk hole and settled in it for the night as he snuggled closer with his teddy bear… wait a minute! He was too poor to own a teddy bear! He immediately opened his eyes and found that he had cuddled next to none other than Scarlett. He hadn't expected that.
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Phaecifer ran out of the hole and towards the bonfire pit as fast as he could, just as he got there he looked around to see if Scarlett had followed him he didn't see her and sighed in relief. He turned around and saw Danika smirking at him and in her thick accent told him "You seem to have a leach on ya mate!" Phaecifer looked down at his waist and saw Scarlett clutching on for dear life. Phaecifer couldn't take much more of it
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
He thrust off Scarlett and ran off to the Mess Hall tripping over Brett in the process. He got up and continued running as Brett woke up with a jump. He looked around and saw the rest of his team sleeping soundly; Kitten snuggling up to Culebra, Marvin and Grace resting upright on each other's backs and Sophia and D.J relaxing next to each other hand in hand. Brett groggily looked up at Danika who gave him a little smile. He yawned and waved back. Just as he opened his mouth to speak however the intercom buzzed on
"Good morning campers! Please report to Mount Soggy Tragedy for your next challenge! Oh, and you better get here quick someone's life is in danger! Hehehe!"
Mount Soggy Tragedy
The two teams stood at the base and looked at Chris, waiting for him to give them a challenge. "Campers, today we were awaiting the arrival of several new interns. Of the five three have showed up! Please welcome; Staci, Beardo and Leonard!"
The Compulsive Liar, the Human SFX and the LARPer all walked out and greeted the other contestants. Chris shoved them off to the side and continued
"Anyway, since the other two are legally under my authority I need to make sure they are safe. So I need you guys to retrieve them for me!"
Minx scoffed "Oh please Chris, there is no way you can make us do your job!" the others nodded. As if on cue Chris replied with a shrug "That's okay, I'm sure Noah, Harold, Zeke, Staci, Beardo and Leonard would love to take your guys' place in the competition!"
The contestants looked at each other and then back at Chris, DJ spoke up for them "Fine, we'll play. So where do we have to go and who do we have to get?"
Chris chuckled "Why don't you see for yourself?!"
Chris took out his remote control and pressed the button thus turning on the screen behind him.
The footage was a live reel of the top of Mount Soggy Tragedy, where two very similar figures stood tied to a tree. One was a lankier version of the chubbier one next to her both were screaming at the top of their lungs "HELP US! SASQUATCHANAKWA IS HOLDING US PRISONER! …"
"Omigosh Sadie, remember when we got stuck in that giant beehive and the bees tried to coat us with honey?"
"Omigosh, I totally remember that! Remember when they tried to go up my butt, and we had to go to the hospital because they started a colony there?"
"Omigosh that was really really scary!"
The footage was cut short by Sasquatchanakwa, who jumped in front of the camera and punched it. Chris sighed and said "Okay, here's how it'll work. Romans, you will be trying to save Katie and the Niakians will try to save Sadie. You each must find a way to get up the mountain by using old junk from the wreckage of my Jumbo Jet. You can build anything. However, you may not build a button to revive the escalator that was once here, Micah!"
Said Tech Mogul snapped his fingers in disappointment.
The contestants all waited behind the starting line, leaning over as Chris raised his air horn. "Ready, and go!" The air horn blew sending the campers to race for junk in the wreckage… well almost all of them.
"Come everyone, let us leap up the mountain like graceful and agile mountain goats!" announced Anna as she began to twirl and jump up the mountain. Minx and Kansas rolled their eyes.
Confessionals
Minx: I've already convinced Dusk, Erik and Kansas to vote for Anna next time we lose and Micah will be easily persuaded since he's a clean freak. So next chance I get, smelly is going home!
End Confessionals
Romans
Micah stared at the wreckage in dismay "If only I'd passed Trigonometry, I'd figure this out in a snap of my fingers." He looked up the mountain and saw Anna leaping up it like a mountain goat. "What is she doing?" Minx walked up to him
"She's a mountain goat, silly!" she said rather dreamily as she sniffed the air around him. Micah scowled and shoved Minx away from him. He picked up a toilet plunger and threw it behind his back, landing on Minx. He picked up a portrait of Chris and scrunched his face "Disgusting!"
He tossed it aside revealing Kansas staring at him from behind it. Micah looked shocked and backed away slowly, Kansas following. Just as Micah turned to run he bumped into Minx. The two girls tackled him and began to fight each other for him, not letting Micah go.
The camera zoomed past them, revealing Johnny on Erik's back.
"Tell me w-why I ha-have to c-c-carry you u-up the m-mountain!"
Johnny chuckled and ruffled Erik's hair and chuckled "Oh little Erin, can I call you Erin? Oh wait I don't care your name is Erin now! Any who, you're so funny!"
Erik sighed and continued to allow Johnny to ride on his back.
Confessionals
Erik: Why can't I stand up for myself?
End Confessionals
Niakians
Danika looked around, the other team was struggling to get anywhere. She laughed at Micah's screams of help and scowled at Erik's cries. She couldn't stand bullies one bit, they were lower than the lowest pond scum. But this wasn't her problem, this was
"YOU ARE AN IMBECLE! YOU ARE SO STUPID AND WEAK YOU CAN'T EVEN CLIMB RIGHT!"
"RIGHT BACK AT YOU, O BEARER OF DARKNESS! HOW'S THE LUCK COMING ALONG? OH, WAIT, LUCK IS MY THING!"
"THAT'S IT YOU SPANISH FREAK! GET OVER HERE! LET ME TEAR YOU TO PIECES!"
"I WOULDN'T STEP THERE IF I WERE YOU-"
Just as Culebra finished his sentence, Phaecifer grabbed on to an oil covered ledge and slipped, falling down the large cliff.
Chris chuckled "I knew that would come in handy!"
Culebra continued to climb in sync with his team as he chuckled to himself "What a loser!"
Brett, being the peacemaker he was, piped up "You know, we should probably go back for him. He is our teammate after all." Danika scoffed "He's dead weight, besides, we don't need him to carry a girl down a cliff!"
Brett looked down at the struggling Phaecifer, sighed, and began to climb the mountain.
Confessionals
Brett: I know I should've helped my teammate, but what if we lost? They would blame me for helping him and getting us distracted, and I would be voted out since the majority of my team hates Phaecifer! I need to make it all the way, and the best way to do that is to make the right people happy with me!
End Confessionals
Romans
Micah had finally dealt with the two nuisances as he looked up the mountain, what he saw nearly made him faint.
"Uggghhh! Those filthy jackasses! How dare they attempt to beat us! Am I right team?" Micah turned to face his team, instead he found a barren clearing "T-team?"
Confessionals
Micah: So, it wasn't on till later that I found out where those baboons went. Sean went to go charge his gaming consoles… all of them, Scarlett retreated to Phaecifer's skank-I mean skunk hole, Liam bounded off to re stock himself on pancakes, I tied Minx and Kansas to a pole somewhere, Johnny is making Erik feed him, and Dusk is trying to give Anna a bath. So when we lose, I'm gonna have to pull a name out of a hat to decide who I want to leave… I hate those hypocritical bums!
End Confessionals
Niakians
(Important warning, this next scene contains slight nudity and perverseness. If you are uncomfortable with topics like this please skip over it. There is nothing of importance to the plot as this scene is purely for entertainment and extra character development purposes only. You have been warned.)
Kitten knew she needed to hurry, and that she shouldn't even be where she was. But nevertheless she was determined to get a souvenir, and a good one at that. As she unzipped Phaecifer's duffel bag, however, she heard a voice approaching her. She threw Phaecifer's belongings back and dove under a bush, and just in the nick of time too.
The Unlucky Street Boss himself strode in mumbling to none other than himself about something Kitten couldn't quite hear as she was focusing too much on making sure she was not discovered.
Phaecifer than stooped down, butt in her face, to pick up a bunch of scattered clothes, courtesy of the Dark Weirdo's snooping.
"What the Hell?" she heard him mutter as she tried to restrain her desire to touch his barely covered behind. The Street Boss began to pick up his scattered burlap sacks, trash bags, torn up shirts and jeans stolen from homeless people, anything Phaecifer could've found to put on his person.
"Dumb animals!" he said as he finished and soon began to strip "Stupid island, stupid team. I'd kill 'em if I wasn't going off to take a nice swim!"
Kitten struggled to not gaze at the nakedness of the handsome raven-haired Greco-Canadian as he searched for a bathing suit, with no such luck.
"Dammit! Of all the things Culebra took! Guess I'll be goin' skinny dippin'"
The Orphan grabbed a towel and jogged off to the lake, leaving a deeply blushing Kitten to try to stop herself from fainting
Confessionals
Kitten: (Holds up a black bathing suit and giggles) Phaecifer may not be lucky, but I sure am!
End Confessionals
(We now return to our regular tone of the story, for those of you who read what is above this note, I hope you enjoyed!)
More Niakians
Grace hated being forced to climb, she didn't see why she needed to if Danika, Culebra and Brett were doing it. But she couldn't bitch about it, everyone believed she was a nice girl and she couldn't ruin that with a slip of her tongue. However there was one person she could be mean to
"-And that's why I got suspended. I mean, how was I supposed to know the kid had depression, right?"
"Marvin"
"Yes, boss lady?"
"Shut the Hell up!"
Marvin grabbed his Mohawk in frustration as the petite Asian continued to climb up the mountain ahead of him.
"Hey boss lady"
Grace rolled her eyes and hissed
"What?"
"Who are we going to vote off next?"
Grace sighed in annoyance
"I don't know Marvin."
"Soooooo, you're not planning ahead?"
"No Marvin"
"Soooooo, can I make a suggestion?"
"No Marvin"
"Because I know a good person to vote off!"
"No. Marvin."
"So that's a maybe?"
"NO, MARVIN, THAT'S A NO!"
Danika, Brett and Culebra all looked up at Grace in confusion. Grace looked at them and chuckled nervously "I, uh, that's, uh, what I mean is, well, um. We cannot be perfect all the time, right?"
Danika, Brett and Culebra looked at each other and shrugged, the three continued to climb.
Confessionals
Grace: I'll answer your question Marvin, the next person I'm voting off is you!
Marvin: Like I'm gonna let her bully me! I'm the bully! That's my job!
End Confessionals
Romans
Chris walked up to Micah, who was lazily lying down in the shade of his tree "Uh, dude, what're you doing?"
Micah looked up and replied "My team quit, so I gave up."
Chris smirked slyly "You know that that means you guys technically forfeit, which means you guys lose, right?"
Micah shrugged nonchalantly and closed his eyes.
Chris smiled and left "Okay, if that's what you want!"
Five minutes later
"Attention all campers, the challenge is over, the winners are the Nimble Niakians! Rowdy Romans, please report to the Bonfire ceremony, ASAP!"
Campfire pit
The Romans somehow managed to all find their way back to the campfire pit, however Anna was forced to sit far from the group as, no matter how long Dusk tried, Anna still reeked of all the nasty things she did before.
Chris held up his signature tray, wearing clothespins similar to those of all the other Romans, and announced to the 10 teens in front of him.
"Campers, here in my hand I have 9 Kultors, the currency of ancient Niak and the symbol of safety this season! If you do not receive a Kultor, you will have been eliminated and be forced to take the pull of shame! Without further ado, the first Kultors go to
Liam,
Sean,
Dusk,
Micah!"
The four caught there coin each with their own unique look of confidence on their faces.
"Kansas,
Minx,
Johnny,
And Eric!"
Scarlett shifted uneasily in her seat, while Anna skipped around, leaping and twirling all over
"Anna, you are on the bottom tonight because you stink, literally and metaphorically! Scarlett, you didn't even do anything of importance this episode! I mean, at least Anna's athletic! You're useless!"
Scarlett began to sniffle a little
"Anyway, the final Kultor goes to…
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… Scarlett!"
Scarlett wiped off the tears and caught her coin, hugging it tightly. Anna, paid no attention. She didn't even notice the plunger pulling her across the bay. She just kept twirling.
The remaining Romans and Chris took off their clothespins and sighed in relief. Chris looked at the camera "Man, am I glad to be rid of that stank! So wasn't this an undramatic episode! Hopefully next episode won't fall into the boring category! Will Grace be discovered? Will we see more DJ and Sophia? Will this story become an M rated one if we have more nudity? Maybe, but you'll have to see for yourself, next time on Total Drama INFINITUS DOLOR!"
Author's Notes
It's been too long, am I right? Just insert your own school related excuses here, I'm sure you've heard a lot of them already!
There will be more development next chapter, don't worry. More bonds and friendships, love and hate. All that good stuff! Maybe even some more Kitten fantasies of Phaecifer and Culebra! I'm curious to see what you guys think of the characters, so I'm going to let you make a list of that in the reviews if you want, because I like to have reasons not just numbers!
Also I have made plans for a second season if you guys are interested! Of course I'll be waiting on till I finish with this one before I start it, P.M me if you are okay with your character being in the second season so than I can plan ahead!
Please don't expect to see an update quickly, I barely managed to get this one in! Also, the real Anna doesn't smell bad, she actually smells quite pretty… don't tell her I said that, 'k!
On till next time friends!
-That1guyeveryonehates.