Chapter One: Secret

~O~

"All I'm saying is that you would have thought someone would tell Kyle Reese that Sarah Connor was thinking of him when the picture was taken," said Penny.

"Yeah, it would have been nice to see his reaction. Very romantic in a sad way," piped in Raj.

"I hardly see how that would be relevant to the story. John Connor has to send Reese into the future to ensure his conception so he could save mankind."

They were approaching the final landing to their floor when they heard shouting.

"Really, Amy, I don't see how it's my problem."

"BECAUSE IT'S YOURS!" Penny and Bernadette exchanged a worried glance.

"What the frak was that?" asked Howard. They climbed the rest of the flight. Sheldon and Penny entered the apartment first and stared in shock at the sight in front of them. Amy's face was red and blotchy from crying. Leonard's face was pale and his body vibrated with fury.

"What in the world is going on here," demanded Sheldon as Bernadette and Penny moved toward Amy to comfort her. Sheldon looked from his roommate to his girlfriend expectantly.

"Amy?" he asked. Amy burst into body-wracking sobs and buried her face in her bestie's shoulder.

"What's going on, Leonard?" Bernie asked as she smoothed her distraught friend's hair. Leonard turned to beat red, shoved his hands in his pants pockets and stared at his sneakers. Raj let out a strangled little "eep" and tugged on Howard's sleeve as he pointed at the coffee table.

"What's that?" asked Howard. All eyes moved to the coffee table. Penny released Amy to pick up the small plastic item.

"It's a pregnancy test," she said her voice hollow and distant. But her eyes were full of understanding. Amy was pregnant...with Sheldon's baby?

"Looks like you're gonna be a dad, Sheldon."

"A dad?" Sheldon squawked with alarm. "Women can't get pregnant from kissing, Penny. That's hokum." Penny's face drained of all color as she stared off blankly into space. Suddenly, she dropped the pregnancy test on the table as if it burned her fingers.

"If you're not the father," started Howard "then who..." Everyone looked to Leonard as it finally clicked. At this point, Amy finally found her voice.

"I'm sorry. I was drunk and hurt and angry and I didn't mean for any of this to happen. But it did and now everything is ruined." she said miserably. Penny took a few steadying breaths before speaking.

"Leonard, it's over. Amy, it's best if we don't speak for a while." With that, she made her way to her apartment after gently shutting the door.

The group was stunned to silence until Sheldon piped up. "Again, what in the world is going on?"

"You should take a seat," said Leonard "in fact, we all should take a seat." He sat on his desk chair leaning forward on his elbow trying to figure out where to begin.

"It was after Howard got back from the Space Station. We were all running around getting the finishing touches for the wedding reception figured out when I blurted out another marriage proposal to Penny. She got mad and stopped... well she cut me off and wouldn't talk to me and I was really frustrated and angry. I just lost it at the reception when I saw her laughing and dancing with Bernadette's cousin David. I got really angry and jealous and started drinking- a lot.

Near the end of the night, I ran into Amy out in the parking lot. She was drinking a bottle of sparkling wine and crying. So I sat down and she started to tell me how she rented a room at the hotel where the reception was being held because she was hoping she could get Sheldon to have sex. When she told him about it, he gave her his Homo Novus story. She told me she believed that Sheldon turned her down because she was undesirable. I put my arm around her to comfort her and before I knew it I kissed her. Then we were making out. We finished the bottle of sparkling wine and wanted to get more. But we were too intoxicated to walk much so we went to the hotel room and ordered room service. Things got fuzzy after that. So, the next thing I recall was waking up naked in bed as Amy worked herself to full a panic over a little blood on the sheets."

Leonard looked up to see his friends staring at him.

Dumbfounded.

Amy's eyes were still tearful but she calmed down considerably.

Sheldon looked too calm.

"I must say I feel betrayed at these turn of events. By far, this has been a most eventful Anything-Can-Happen-Thursday." He looked weary as he got up from his beloved spot. "I will take a page from Penny book." He turned to Amy still sniffling at her misery.

"Amy, because of your betrayal, I am invoking the Exit Clause of our Relationship Agreement. The agreement is now null and void. You are no longer my 'girlfriend'. Maybe someday we can renew our Friendship Agreement and return to girl-slash-friend-slash-boy-slash-friend status. Until then, I wish you well."

Amy nodded.

Sheldon then turned to Leonard. "For the time being, we are no longer companions, boon or otherwise. We will retain the basic requirements of the Roommate Agreement until you figure out how you will handle your current predicament or we become companions again; or whichever comes first. I am going to my room. I need to be alone to process things."

He made his way to his room and gently shut the door.

After a long awkward pause, Howard cracked, "Well, that was fun. Bernie, Raj, let's head out and leave these two to their discussion."

Five days passed in silent reflection for the tenants of the fourth floor. It was Tuesday night and Penny trudged up the stairs to her apartment.

The gang never showed up at The Cheesecake Factory for dinner, so she got Sheldon's order to go. She knocked on the guys' door and, thankfully, it was Sheldon who answered. She wasn't ready to face Leonard yet.

"Leonard isn't here," he said by way of a greeting.

"No, that's okay, Sweetie. I came to see you." She held out the bag to him.

"You didn't come in for dinner so I thought I'd bring you your burger."

"Thank you, Penny. Would you like to come in?" She hesitated. "Don't worry, he'll be out for a few hours. You won't run into him. He stays out until midnight since last Thursday. He leaves again in the morning before work. I assume he's off dealing with his issues. Not that I care."

He twitched.

"Oh." She stepped into the living room. A few minutes to catch up couldn't hurt. "How have you been?" she asked.

"About as well as could be expected. I am sad and somewhat hurt these days. I thought throwing myself into work would cheer me up, but it hasn't been working. I suspect more drastic measures must be taken. How have you been 'holdin' up'?"

"Not well. I gained like five pounds from all the ice cream I've been eating." She looked down at her lap trying to keep Sheldon from seeing the tears that were dangerously close to spilling. Tears confused him.

"What's wrong?" He asked softly.

"Everything is wrong." Her voice was raw with emotion. "I'm not happy. I hate my job. My career is going nowhere. My love life sucks and I can't talk to my best friend." Sheldon handed her a box of tissues. "I need to get away," she continued. "But I don't have any sick or vacation days left." Sheldon watched as she wiped her tears and quickly came to a decision.

"Social convention dictates that when life 'gets you down', a weekend trip to 'Sin City' would put you on the path to healing." Penny looked at Sheldon like he lost what was left of his marbles before responding slowly.

"Sweetie, it will be a while before I can take time off. A road trip to Vegas is not practical right now."

"Well, why not?"

"Because if I miss one more day of work I'll get fired."

"Penny, Penny, Penny. You just got finished saying that you hate your job. You're smart enough to find something, should you choose, with better pay and a more flexible schedule; which would accommodate nurturing your acting career. To stay in a position which makes you unhappy is, to paraphrase Einstein, pure insanity."

"I don't know Sheldon." She trailed off with uncertainty.

"Please come with me, Penny. I'll help you with securing new employment as well as helping with any monetary issues that may arise during said search." He looked at her pleadingly.

"Well, okay."

"Great!" He gifted her with one of his rare genuine little smiles. "I have already taken the liberty of setting a few preparations in motion in anticipation of this joint adventure we are about to undertake."

"Why am I not surprised." She muttered dryly.

"I have our itinerary worked out, as well as accommodations and a gambling strategy."

"You have a gambling strategy?" she gaped. "Oh, Sweetie, that is so not how gambling works."

"My dear Penny, as I have told you numerous times before. When you have a working knowledge of the way the universe works, nothing is impossible."

Against her better judgment, she decided to trust Sheldon.

After a bit of tricky maneuvering, she managed to talk her manager into giving her a long weekend on short notice after promising to work a few doubles the following week. She packed her bag and stowed it in her trunk along with Sheldon's the next day. He was ever so pleased that she didn't wait until the last minute to pack. Early Thursday morning, she grabbed her thermos full of Joe and sent a text to Bernadette.

Goin to Vegas with SC. Back Sun nite. Keep mum, unless 911.

A few minutes later Bernadette sent her reply.

Ok. Have fun. Be Safe.

Penny took one last tour of her apartment to make sure everything was turned off and unplugged. She walked out to the hall only to find Sheldon standing there waiting for her.

Then they were off.

It was still dark out. Too early for rush hour but that was the way she liked it for long car trips. You could get farther faster without worrying about the other motorists. The way she figured, they would be at Barstow by sunrise they could stop have some breakfast and stretch their legs before moving on to Las Vegas. But first, she stopped at the gas station to fill up before getting on the I-210.

"I need to get some gas, Sheldon. Did you need to get some snacks before we move on?"

"I guess it wouldn't hurt if I got us a few things." He moved away from the car with a slight bounce in his step. Penny turned to grab a nozzle with a small smile on her face.

Her MoonPie was something else.

He was trying not to show his excitement about this little trip. She supposed she was glad of any distraction that would ease the situation for him. She suspected this was devastating to him. It was the first time he had to experience a break-up and all the fun emotional whiplash that comes with it. At least he had her to help him through it. She didn't have anyone to help her with her emotional crap.

It works out though, she thought. I feel numb.

It usually took a bottle of wine to get to numb. Though now that she thought about it, she hardly had any alcohol since last Thursday. She only had the two glasses of wine at the Olive Garden during dinner and a few sips of beer she'd stolen from Raj's cup at that Korean ballroom dancing place (but only because she needed some sort of fortification if she were to have Howard teach her the finer points of dancing Salsa).

She leaned against the side of her car fiddling with a button on her blue flannel shirt. She remembered drinking a half bottle of zinfandel the night before the breakup, after her third argument with Leonard in as many weeks. He'd been acting weird for a few weeks after the wedding but she figured he was still being pissy about their argument and getting cut off.

Yep, that would definitely do it.

Not that she felt particularly bad about cutting him off. Sometimes, it was the only way to get him to pay attention to what she was trying to say. Leonard is a good man. Sweet, funny and loyal- but he could be a total boy.

A teenaged boy.

She wasn't talking about his love of comics or his collection of "action figures". It was the way he thought with his penis first that would infuriate her. It was like he needed to take advantage of every opportunity to jump her bones for fear that she would evaporate or something. Then again, she wasn't much better.

She just held on, hoping it would get better because she believed he was different. For once she had a boyfriend who wasn't a big, muscular jock with a false sense of entitlement because he was a… well, a big, muscular jock. She hoped that since he was a smart guy he wouldn't treat her like a piece of ass. He didn't most of the time. The times he did, though, she'd feel hurt and angry. Alcohol was the crutch she used to brave it all.

Which isn't brave at all.

The sound of the gas flow juddering to a stop brought her back to the present.

The sky was slowly growing lighter as they drove ever closer to their destination. Penny loved the way it morphed from inky black to navy blue in those predawn hours. She sighed feeling more relaxed than she had in longer than she could remember. She was glad that Sheldon talked her into taking this mini vacation. Sometimes you just need distance to gain some perspective.

She glanced at the side view mirror and caught a glimpse of her friend dozing off to her right.

'Travel Supervisor' my ass, she thought with a smirk.

He was supposed to be helping her navigate. She was going to wake him up and give him a hard time about sleeping on the job but she took another quick glance at him and changed her mind.

He looked so peaceful. He looked so young. It occurred to her that he'd been carrying traces of stress around his mouth and eyes for the past few days. She normally wouldn't notice something was wrong with him unless he stopped talking (provoking her) long enough to tell.

Sheldon had been unusually quiet over the last day. She was too busy rearranging her work schedule for it register. This whole break-up must have been really hard on him.

Were he a normal man, he would get over it by picking up a really cute girl and taking out his anguish on her lady parts by giving them a proper pounding. God knows he's good-looking enough to get away with it. Going out and doing something nasty with some random guy certainly made her feel better after a break-up.

She flashed back to that time after her first break-up with Leonard. Penny went to this club and ran into this really hot guy she met at one of her auditions. They danced and drank for most of the night. She remembered thinking he was really hot. Tall, lanky swimmer's build. Dark hair and dimples to die for… and just what she needed to forget.

They eventually made it to a parking garage that was nearly empty. Her skirt was so short that all he had to do was bend her over the hood of the car to gain access.

She felt her pulse start to speed up at the memory.

It was so good. Penny was relaxed from all the alcohol. The buzz plus the primal feeling she got from being taken from behind made her feel divine. The guy held on to her throat with one hand and had his long fingers from the other twisted up in her hair for leverage.

She remembered how he pounded into her for all he was worth. He was rough and unrelenting. He pulled her back far enough to kiss and lick behind her ear in between whispering filthy promises in that velvety baritone. He could have made her come with that alone.

She recalled his stamina fondly. In fact, her body seemed to recall his stamina as well as the heat between her legs increased.

He kept stroking deeply in places she'd forgotten existed. He turned her head and looked deep in her eyes whispering more filth and just before she came again, she remembered thinking that he kind of looked like Sheldon.

Shit.

This was not good.

How long ago was that anyway? Two, almost three years?

Did this mean what she thought it meant? Was she in love with Sheldon?

Penny didn't think so.

Was she attracted to him?

She could safely say that on some level she was. She did come pretty hard that second time…

But love?

Yes, she did love him. He was a good friend. Sheldon looked out for her. He took care of her. He never took advantage of her when she was high on pain killers. He was a decent man. More than decent, actually.

Then again, it was exactly that thinking that got her to stay with Leonard for as long as she did. Then he suddenly turned around and betrayed her with her best friend.

Sheldon was no Leonard, though. Sheldon definitely had control over his emotions as well as the fuzzier parts of his anatomy. Wasn't that what she wanted after all? A good-looking man who was also good at keeping it together and keeping it in his pants?

That's what she thought Leonard would be like. That's why she tried making it work. Twice. She really believed that he would eventually get there. That's why it hurt.

It hurt.

Her chest constricted with ache as her vision blurred. She needed to pull over fast.

What a great time to start feeling again. This is what I get for having deep thoughts instead of suppressing them.

She switched lanes as smoothly as she could manage to avoid waking Sheldon. He jerked awake anyway after Penny pulled onto the shoulder and flicked her blinkers on.

"Why are we stopping?" he asked. Penny opened the glove box for a napkin to take care of her moist sniffs. "What's wrong?"

"I'm okay, Sweetie. I just need a minute. I'm feeling a little overwhelmed."

"Oh", he said. To Sheldon's immense relief, Penny closed her eyes and pressed her head to the headrest. It was a few minutes before she felt calm enough to keep driving.

She turned the ignition key and- nothing.

The car wouldn't start.

Penny swallowed thickly. She tried it again. Again nothing. She flicked the blinkers on and got out of the car.

This was just what she needed. Her tears started up again but this time they were tears of frustration. She paced up and down the shoulder trying to expend some violent energy. Finally, she opened the passenger door on the driver's side and slid into the back seat. She sat back there trying to get a handle on her emotions. For long minutes her labored breathing was the only sound in the car.

Sheldon got out of his seat and slid into the back with her.

"I was really looking forward to this trip, Sheldon." She glanced at her friend.

"I don't understand why he cheated on me. I mean, it wasn't the first time I cut him off. In fact, I was going to let him back in my 'good graces' just a few days after the reception. He was the one who kept sniping at me and picking fights."

"He said he was jealous." Sheldon supplied.

"What?"

"Actually, what he said was that he 'got really angry and jealous and started drinking- a lot.'"

"Angry and jealous? The angry I get. Jealous not so much. I never gave him a reason to be jealous."

"He said it was because of David." Penny looked at Sheldon as if he were speaking a different language.

"David? Who's David?"

"Bernadette's cousin, David. Leonard said you spent the night dancing and laughing with him at the reception."

Penny could not believe how bone-headed Leonard could be for a smart guy sometimes. She turned to Sheldon to explain.

"Leonard was jealous because he thought that I was flirting with David. That wasn't what happened. I was feeling kind of miserable, then David walks up to me and says that I have the look of a woman who's angry at her man. It made me smile. We got to talking and it turned out David was also annoyed at his man." Penny caught Sheldon's puzzled look.

"David's gay, Sheldon."

"Oh. Oh, dear!" He said as the penny dropped.

"Yep." She couldn't believe it. This was a total mess. It was times like these that she missed sharing a room with her sister. She and Min would curl up on the couch watching sappy movies when one or the other was suffering the effects of heartbreak. She looked at her friend again.

"Sheldon, I need you to do me a favor. I know that you're not comfortable with physical contact, but I could really use a hug. Could you please… just- just hold me for a few minutes?"

It was a different sort of comfort.

With Min, it was because she could relate. Since Min was a few years older, she'd felt this way before and knew where Penny's pain came from. Her mother's brand of comfort, while still soothing, was a couple of decades removed from the memory of that type of misery.

This was a misery-loves-company type of comfort, but not as cynical as the phrase normally sounds. She supposed it was because they were in the same boat. Maybe it was different because it was comfort from a guy. One that wouldn't think to take advantage of this situation.

Is that why I'm okay that my shields are down?

His left arm was slung across her shoulders, his hand doing that awkward 'there, there' pat on her upper arm. It had been a few minutes, and his body was finally starting to relax. Tired of thinking about screwed up romances, she concentrated on the moment instead.

The weight of his arm. The press of his cheek on her temple. The warmth of his fresh breath across her face. The way he smelled. It was an interesting mix of Irish Spring, baby powder and, well, male. Her muscles unclenched and blood bubbled gently, like champagne, under her skin. She let out a breath and relaxed against his side.

Sheldon turned his head and pecked a small kiss on her forehead. Just like that, she felt better. She turned her head to look at him.

"Thank you, Sheldon." She gave him a grateful smile.

"You're welcome, Penny." He returned her smile with a small one of his own.

They sat that way for a few seconds. Then something shifted.

Years later, they would have heated debates on whose fault it was, but in reality, they met in the middle in a soft press of lips.

Penny never knew he had it in him. Sheldon was normally such an enigma that this new development was mind-boggling.

Sheldon was really good at kissing.

Her head was cradled in the crook of his left arm. His mouth slid over hers and she let herself feel its shape and texture. She enjoyed the sweet friction. He pressed the fingers of his left hand under her chin to tilt her face up. It made her gasp in surprise and Sheldon chose that moment to shyly slip his tongue passed her lips.

She gasped again in alarm.

Did he realize what he was doing?

But all thoughts got fuzzy when his other hand moved to her ribcage to pull her closer.

Screw it.

She placed her right hand on the back of his neck and kissed him back. It dimly registered that he kissed as if he were tasting- savoring- her. Her heart rate picked up and was weirdly surprised that she was aroused.

When was the last time that happened from just kissing? High School? And she was sober.

Penny's body was heating up. Her womb was doing this clenching- lift thing that was… new. Breathing got difficult when Sheldon's hand fell from her ribcage to the top of her thigh. It was as if her whole body woke up and was acutely aware that his hand was resting on her khaki shorts with the exception of his pinky.

Penny couldn't decide if she was more disturbed that a pinky was that distracting or that she honestly wanted Sheldon to touch her.

She was disturbed enough to break the kiss.

"Sheldon, I need you to touch me." She whispered. Sheldon looked at her for a moment before giving her a barely perceptible nod of acquiescence. She noticed his normally clear, blue eyes were hot and smoky. He watched her face intently as his hand moved from the top of her thigh to her knee then slowly back up her inner thigh to the "V" of her legs. His fingers roamed over the soft fabric and started moving up and down over the outline of her dent.

Penny let out a soft mew and her body seemed to go slack when his fingers found their way up her pant leg. He tentatively felt her seam and she moaned loudly when he accidentally touched her nub. He touched it again more firmly and her leg was slung over his to give him better access.

Penny was lost.

Her mind was fog and mist. Her body- electric impulses sizzling through liquid desire. The enigma seemed to figure out what she liked in a surprisingly short amount of time. His fingers moved to tease her opening and that wonderful bundle of nerves in swirls and patterns only he knew the meaning of. All the while Sheldon kept placing soft pecks along her jaw when he wasn't leaving warm lingering kisses on her mouth.

She was close and wanted to feel him. She shifted her body so that she could open his pants and pull out a rather impressive erection. He was smooth and firm. He filled the circle of her fingers snugly enough that her fingertips didn't even touch. She pumped up and down in time with his ministrations. Sheldon grunted low in her ear and spilled over the back of her hand.

To Penny's relief, he redoubled his efforts and incidentally kept bumping that elusive patch of spongy ridges until her body coiled sharply and exploded with sticky chaos all over his hand.

They clung to each other for a few minutes as they recovered their senses.

My shorts are going to be uncomfortable, she thought.

They dressed and cleaned up in silence after Sheldon fetched her a pair of clean black shorts.

Penny stashed the soiled clothes in a plastic shopping bag and made sure it was knotted tightly so as not to taint the rest of her suitcase. That's when it hit her.

"Vapor lock!" she exclaimed.

"What?"

"My car won't start because of vapor lock. That gas cap is a little weird. So sometimes when I'm not paying attention I tend to over tighten and it has trouble starting." She quickly corrected the problem as Sheldon watched and they got back in the car.

She turned the key and the engine roared to life.

"You need a new car," Sheldon said flatly. Penny just grinned at him.

The drive into Barstow was quiet but not awkward. It wasn't a long drive, just long enough for Penny to dread the conversation she was going to have to have with Sheldon. She didn't want things to be weird between them for the rest of the trip. The whole purpose of this trip was to gain some perspective and get away from weird.

They stopped at one of the inns in the tiny town of Barstow. After parking, Penny took a moment to admire the part of the sunrise. The morning sky was a lovely palate of golden yellow, pale green and soft blue. Sometime after being seated, the waitress brought their meal to their booth and the duo tucked in with a ravenous gusto (you know the one).

Halfway through her short stack of pancakes, Penny came up for air and broaches a very delicate subject.

"Do you regret what happened in the backseat earlier?", she asked.

"I'm not very experienced with displays of loss of inhibition, but I find that they were not as abhorrent as any of the adolescent descriptions that I have been unfortunate enough to listen to when in the presence of my usual band of cohorts."

"So... that's a no?"

"I thought I just said that." Penny sighed in frustration.

"Sheldon, I want to try something this weekend. I guess you can call it an experiment of sorts."

"Go on."

"I find that I want to just cut loose and not filter any of my thoughts and feelings. I want to be able to do what I want and not worry too much over the consequences. If it's not too much to ask, I would like for you to do the same. What I mean to say, just for the duration of this trip, I would like for both of us to act on every whim if it's not too dangerous or illegal. What do you think?"

"So... just go with the flow?" He was mocking her.

"I thought I just said that." Penny smiled

"Okay. I can try," he said before turning his full attention on his breakfast.

"I'm so full. I really wish I didn't have to drive the rest of the way and just take a nap." Penny was surprised she cleared her plate. She didn't realize she was that hungry.

"I can drive the rest of the way, Penny."

"That's really nice of you to offer, Sweetie. But I'd feel better about you driving if you had your license."

Sheldon gazed at her for a long moment.

"Penny, if I tell you something, will you promise to keep it a secret?"

"Sure. Whatever happens in Vegas—or on the way to Vegas—stays in Vegas."

"I've had my driver's license for almost three years."

A/N: This chapter was inspired by Maroon 5's song "Secret". Thanks for reading. ALL REVIEWS ARE WELCOME (Yes, even the ones of the flame-y variety!).