Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, nor would I want to with the current writing.

AN: This is a 5x01 fix-it fic dealing with the awful proposal. It came from asking myself what impact Finn's absence - understandable when looking at RL events, but unacceptable in the show's context - had on Kurt. If Finn had been present, would Kurt have answered the same way as he did in canon?

Please note that this fic features Finn Hudson, alive and well.

I Believe in a Thing Called Love – But I Don't Believe in You

5x01 fix-it fic

Kurt looked out at the people gathered, at his father, his friends, (his enemies). At Blaine... He could see in their faces that they weren't waiting for him to answer – they were waiting for him to confirm the "yes" they were all for some reason seeing as given. So much for saying "no", dad. Just like I could just "return" my so-called Christmas present.

No pressure. Right.

Well, then. Since there really only was one way to go he might as well get it over with as quickly as possible. Besides...

"Sorry, am I late?"

"Finn!"

He threw himself down the stairs, ignoring Blaine's hurt expression, and the way he was obviously interrupting the schedule. He didn't care – Finn was here.

"I've missed you. Why were you–"

"Sorry. Must have been some mistake with my invitation. But, I'm here now. Aaaand, it looks like I interrupted something. Is this what I think it is?" Finn's left eyebrow rose, just a little, and Kurt flushed as he nodded.

"Wow. In front of all these people? I thought you hated these kinds of spectacles?" And that was just a bit mean. Yes, he'd spoken out against public proposals, passionately, but not as a rule. He just thought it was really stupid, unless you absolutely knew that the other person was looking to get engaged, and– Oh.

"Weeeeell..."

"Come on. Why don't you and Blaine finish this up somewhere private? Trent! Somewhere they can go talk, without half of Ohio watching?"

Kurt let go of his brother just in time to see Trent take a step back, looking scared (what?), and then start stuttering before catching himself.

"The Warblers' room? Nick! That'd work, right, they could borrow that?"

Nick startled, not as nervous as Trent, but still wary. And again, what was with that? Neither boy had seemed this easily spooked when Kurt had been a student at Dalton, and they'd definitely met Finn before without reacting that way.

Still, the important thing was that Nick was nodding his agreement.

"Great! So, you, either of you, lead the way. Take Blaine. I'm gonna follow with Kurt, catch up a little."

And Blaine did not like that, or any of what had happened since Finn's interruption really. Kurt supposed he should care, but. His brother was here. So, he nodded and made a little shooing motion, not giving up until Blaine gave up and walked off with Nick.

"So, there was something wrong with your invitation?" Kurt winced. Well, what did you say to the brother that had just derailed your proposal scene?

"Yeah, as in I didn't fucking get one. Marley called me – otherwise I'd still have no clue – but, you know, I didn't really believe her at first. What the hell are you doing, Kurt?" he hissed. "You said you were done with Blaine, with dating him and hooking up, and now I get to hear from someone else that you not only got back with him, but he's proposing? And I couldn't help noticing that you weren't saying no.

"So, again, what are you doing?"

What am I doing? Good question. Now, if I only had an equally good answer...

"I thought about it, and well, why not? Blaine is really sorry, and I still have feelings for him" enough that I couldn't make things work out with Adam, or anyone else I guess "and he loves me, and well, I'd be stupid to just throw away that over a mistake. Wouldn't I? Besides, we were always planning on spending forever together, we only broke up–"

"–because Blaine cheated on you!" And wow, he never knew Finn could hiss that loud.

"Because he thought we were already over!"

Finn looked at him as if he had said something especially stupid, and Kurt felt his cheeks heat up.

"Seriously? You're buying that? He thought you were over. As in, he thought the two of you were broken up, over, finito, and the fact that you had no idea was just, what? A minor detail? Besides, if that's really what he thought, then why would he think it was a good idea to come visit you, without warning, and to bring you flowers and try and act like everything was peachy keen instead of begging you to talk? To take him back, and for the two of you to fix things?"

Kurt shook his head – even going so far as to debate covering his ears – because he didn't want to hear any of those things. This was supposed to be a happy day, not a rehash of old hurts.

"I–"

"We're here!"

And did Blaine sound relieved to interrupt? Never mind. Kurt was relieved, so. End of story. Right?

Finn however did not seem happy. He looked...ready for a fight, Kurt thought, a shiver of worry working its way through his body, and to be honest, more than a little vindictive. This is not looking good. Not good at all.

"By the way, Blaine, I didn't see anyone who looked like they could be your parents. They not here?"

"No, they couldn't make it – they have incredibly busy schedules."

And that...sounded off. Not just the words themselves, because Mr and Mrs Anderson were busy people, but how Blaine said them. Why wouldn't Blaine's parents be present for this – everyone else seemed to be.

Except, no, Carole wasn't either.

"And they couldn't switch things around? Or, even better, couldn't you? Did you have to do this today?"

Bless Finn. He was asking the questions Kurt should have been asking, the ones he hadn't gotten his mind around.

"Kurt leaves today, you know that–"

"And? Not getting the point here. You could have waited, right? I mean, you'll see each other again – because I'm assuming you'll still want to fly up to New York now that you're actually together? That wasn't something you saved for after fucking things up? And if not, Kurt should be coming back here to see you guys graduate, and surely your parents aren't going to miss that?

"Plus, that way mom could have been present too. Or weren't you going to invite her? Because I'm guessing not, since, you know, she wouldn't approve. In fact, I'm surprised Burt is here, with what he had to say about me and Rachel."

Oh, right. Kurt had forgotten about that – how had he managed that? – but Finn was right; the Burt Hummel who'd been presented with Finn and Rachel's engagement had been oddly absent this time.

Dad was practically ready to kidnap Finn in order to stop the wedding – he even thought the army was a better option in the end – and so did I. And now, not only does it feel as if dad is pushing this, but I was about to say yes? After calling Finn and Rachel both idiots a year ago? What...what am I doing here?

He could tell that his poker face was failing, that his insecurities and doubts were showing on his face, and that they in turn were causing Blaine to panic.

"Kurt? Kurt, don't–"

"Blaine, please. Just, let's sit down, okay and talk about this." Not that talking was going to change much, but. He owed Blaine that much, surely? And he guessed he owed himself too. And maybe, just maybe talking would help him sort out the tumultuous feelings wrecking his body.

"No!" Blaine was working himself up, and a part of Kurt – one he usually kept a lid on – suggested that had Finn not been there, he would have felt unsafe. "You can't let him do this, Kurt! You were going to say 'yes' – until he showed up and ruined things, you were going to say 'yes'. I know you were."

"I was. But Blaine... I don't want to get married, or even engaged. Not now. Not anywhere near now." And not to you, not now, after everything that's happened and with the way things are.

"I thought that if I did this, if I agreed to tie myself to you this way, maybe then you'd trust me. Trust that me not having time didn't mean I wasn't cheating. Trust that I was committed. Because I know you, okay? And I know what it's going to be like when I get back to New York.

"I'm going to be busy, and I'm going to be excited about the good things happening to me there, and you're going to be upset. You're going to call, and either I'll be too caught up in something that happened in school, or I'll be at work and unable to answer – because doing so last time almost got me fired, okay – and you're going to be angry, and resentful.

"And I thought that if I accepted your proposal and wore your ring, you wouldn't punish me for those things. That you wouldn't take me living my life as an excuse to go fuck someone else!"

And he was shouting. Huh.

Blaine just stared at him, with wide, wet eyes, and it did absolutely nothing for Kurt. Or rather, it made him pause and realize the obvious.

"I don't think we should do this, Blaine. And I don't just mean not get engaged, because my answer is 'no', but we shouldn't date. I can't, I'm sorry. I thought I could look past what happened, but it still hurts too much. And I'm sorry, but I just realized I still don't trust you. Not just to stay faithful, but I realized I don't trust you to trust me.

"And that means I can't be in a relationship with you."

He felt like he was going to faint, the revelation hitting him so hard. Try as he might, he still couldn't trust Blaine enough to be in a relationship with him. And with how Blaine had just acted, maybe Kurt didn't trust him enough to be friends either.

"No! You don't get to say that, okay, we're meant to be together! We're soulmates, Kurt, everyone knows it, you do too. That's why we we're together at Christmas, and at Valentine's, and why you came back to me, because you know I'm the one for you."

Kurt almost regretted what he was about to say, because Blaine looked like he was in pain, and Kurt had never been good at causing others pain. At the same time he knew he had to – he couldn't let Blaine go on living with his delusions, and his false hopes.

"Blaine... No. Please. I got back together with you because I mistook not having been able to let go – because I was still idolizing those teenage dreams, and because I never got closure – for still being in love with you.

"I got back together with you because I didn't think I could do any better, and that's a really, really bad reason to be with someone. Because even if that's true, even if I can't find anyone better than the guy who cheated on me, who hurt me so bad I wasn't sure I'd make it to the end of the year, and who acts like a hypocrite and won't take his own advice – remember, to talk instead of cheat? – it still isn't a good enough reason. I think, I think I'd rather be on my own than settle for that."

Saying all of that, getting it off his chest, felt like putting down a heavy burden. Which, if that didn't say he was making the right choice...

"I'm sorry, but I need to go. Finn, you drove here right? Mind taking me to the airport?"

"I've got you, little brother. Blaine, take care."

But of course it wasn't going to be that easy.

"You can't just leave! Everyone's out there waiting – there's a party waiting, Kurt. What am I going to tell them?"

"I don't know. How about the truth, that doing this was a bad idea?" Finn drawled, taking up his mantle as protector once more. "Because it was, okay, on every level. For future reference, Blaine, proposing? Is a private matter, and making a public spectacle out of it is not that smart. Well, not unless the agenda is to put pressure on the other person. In that case, it's a great idea.

"Oh, also? People are going to be more likely to support you if you talk about getting married because you love your partner, not because you want to make some kind of statement."

With that Finn opened the door, and swept Kurt out and away from the sputtering boy behind them.

"Now, let me tell you all about what Puck and I got up to last week, it's freaking insane! We–"

~ The End ~