*Human: Part 4*

So, my brothahs all know me as da 'hot-head' of da family. Hell ya I'm hot-headed. You'd be, too, if you had a family as dysfunctional as mine. But being completely honest here, I gotta admit I ain't as hot-headed as I make myself out to be.

It's just what I'm good at.

I'm no good at being carefree like Mike or obedient like Leo. And especially not calm like Don. I'm just no good at emotions.

If I smile too much, it feels like my brothers will think I'm a softy.

If I cry, they'll think I'm weak. Honestly, anger is da only thing I can show that won't make my brothahs see me as bein' weaker or softer than them. I like 'em thinkin' dat I'm da tough one dat can protect 'em no matter what. It makes me feel like they need me.

I may not be completely human, but I'm human enough to know what love feels like, and I love my family. I don't show or tell my brothahs enough, but I love 'em more than anything. It's just easier for me to cover up all of my emotions with anger.

This mask that I've created for myself pushes my bruthahs away from me, though. And no matter how hard I try, and can't slip out from underneath this safety blanket I've made.

Anger is safe to me.

It's not weak.

My brothahs need someone strong and brave to protect them, and so I put their feelings above my own. I get scared, sometimes. I get sad, happy, jealous... But the only thing that matters is that I'm there to protect my bruthahs.

Still, I can only take so much until I've had enough.

There's times when I'm so sad or so afraid, I'll act out in an irrational fit of rage just so my family won't bother me when I run up the stairs and into my bedroom in 'anger'.

I don't want 'em to see me so broke.

Anger is the only thing I want my family to see, because in my opinion, anger is strength, and strength protects my family.

That's all dat matters.