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I don't own The Mentalist and I don't make money with fanfictions.

This is chapter 5 (epilogue) :

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18 months later, they had new jobs: Lisbon was a small town police chief and Grace and Wayne had their own little IT-crimes detective agency. But she didn't know what Cho did, she hadn't heard anything of him after they were done with these uncomfortable FBI interrogations. She still was in contact with the Rigsbys (it sounded weird to her that Grace was 'Mrs. Rigsby'...) and met with them regularly for dinner. Lately, their first daughter Maddy was born, which made Lisbon a little sad because she didn't see any possibility for her to have kids. She had had a relationship with someone, but she had never been truly happy with him. The first 6 months after Jane disappeared had been very hard for Lisbon because she was unemployed and needed to find a new job as soon as possible, which wasn't easy because of her record. After all, it was common knowledge in the whole State of California that she had been involved in the Red John case and how it ended. She had to move to Washington where nobody knew who she was so that she could build up a new life. In these 6 months, Lisbon started to drink again. She almost became an alcoholic because she was so damn depressed.

When she went home from the FBI, she decided to stay at home for a few weeks and think about what her life would be like from now on, but she couldn't imagine a life without Jane. Her life was a mess, she was only a shadow of herself those days; laying on her couch, next to her some pizza cartons and bottles of beer, tequila and red vine.

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I never wanted to become like my dad, but now I'm drinking all day because I can't bear the loss of someone I love...

She had started writing a diary lately.

I have several reasons for crying, I'm sad, angry, still kind of hopeful and sometimes even a little bit happy...sad because I think I'm not gonna see him again. He's gone forever this time, not coming back...I'm angry with him for running away, being a coward and playing with my feelings. Oh yes, he knew I had feelings for him. Angry with myself for forgiving him too many times and not being able to let go. I'm hopeful because there's always a chance he might change his mind and come back to me. I don't know why, but sometimes I'm happy because this weird decade is over and I can start a new life...

Really, Teresa? You always talk about a new life but you're at home all day and do nothing to change your situation!

The next morning, Lisbon said to herself: Enough self pity! You'll take care of yourself now and move away from here!

After three months, Pete and Sam stood in front of her door and handed her the first letter from Jane.

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flashback:

"Hey! Nice to see you! How did you find out where I live now?"

"You really don't wanna know that, Pepper." said Pete and gave her a mysterious letter.

"What's that?"

"A letter from Jane. He reached out to us and told us to deliver his letters to you because it's safer that way."

All Lisbon could her was 'Jane'. Could that be true? After months, he decided to write her letters? How cute was that?!

"Well, thanks! See you soon, I hope."

She closed the door, ran to the couch and eagerly opened the envelope to read what Jane wanted to tell her. After this day, she received a letter every week and couldn't decide whether she should forgive Jane and be grateful that he wrote to her or whether she should hate him for not leaving her alone once and for all.

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A few months later:

Lisbon hadn't told Grace or Wayne about these letters, because Jane wrote that only she, Sam and Pete should know he was still alive and had a new life. Obviously, he was still scared that the FBI could find him. He didn't tell her where he lived but she guessed he was somewhere in South America because of the shells he sent her and the nature he described. What he wrote made her both happy and sad at the same time. Lisbon envied him because he had a life in paradise whereas she lived in Washington and had a boring police chief job. She dealt with bicycle thieves and stuff like that... Lisbon had told the Rigsbys that she liked this job but actually, she still missed the CBI. They didn't miss it because they were too busy with their own detective agency and their two kids.

Jane's letters were very personal and emotional, she guessed that he needed the distance to realize...Yeah? What? Realize what, Teresa? Don't tell yourself he would love you...

He wrote that he missed her and that his new life would be perfect if she was with him. Isn't that proof ? If he misses me so much, why did he disappear again? He could at least have taken me with him...

She was doing boring paperwork when her assistant said that a Dennis Abbott would want to talk to her. Abbott? Damn it, not him again!

The FBI had a search warrant for her house because Abbott had found the shells on Lisbon's desk and immediately realized they must be from Jane. When they found the box where she kept his letters she had to come with them again.

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"You seriously told me you were never involved with each other. That's hard to believe after reading those letters."

"Sir, I assure you, we were just friends!"

And then he did something she hoped he would spare her: he read some excerpts out aloud to her.

"'Dear Teresa, you'd like the nights here, almost every night starlit and warm, just like your eyes...' shall I go on? You can't tell me he wasn't interested in you."

Lisbon knew she looked like an ashamed tomato, if that was even possible...

"Yes, maybe he was interested but why would that matter now? I don't know where Jane is."

"Who delivers you these letters?"

"It comes in the mail." Oh that's a bad lie...as if the FBI hadn't checked that...

"No, it doesn't. We believe the person who delivers the letters to you is someone Jane knows from his past and trusts. Now you are gonna tell me who that one is or we'll take you in custody again."

She told him everything; when the first letter came, that Pete and Sam brought her these letters, who they were and so on. After all, it was another long, embarrassing day at the FBI. She hated those days...

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2 years later:

Jane was back. Lisbon forgave him again, and she knew she would forgive him anything, whatever it was or how long he would be gone.

This time I'm gonna make the first step, and in case Jane runs away, I'll hunt him to the end of the world and I won't let him escape from me. Never again.

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The epilogue was longer than I intended and the end isn't the best :) tell me what you think!