entitled: The Okay
pairing: Oliver/Felicity
summary: Felicity is not the greatest with words, Oliver knows that. But when she does speak, more often than not, she has a way of shattering his world. Canon.
rating: T
disclaimer: I do not own Arrow.
notes: Set after Season 2, Episode 15: The Promise.

Felicity ends most of her nights watching Oliver patch himself up.

But today Slade Wilson had threatened Oliver's family. Slade Wilson who was dangerous, who struck fear and guilt in him, who's skeleton had emerged from the metaphorical closet, has returned and Felicity realizes there are wounds that run deeper than flesh.

Wounds that can only be felt.

"I know you've had a rough day. It's not every day your dead friend returns from the… dead." Felicity had never been eloquent when it came to comforting someone. "Actually," she pressed on, "he's not much of a friend if he's wanting to kill all the people you love and care about." But she tries. "And is arming a psychopath with miracle juice to create an army of super soldiers." She tries really hard. "And god, he must have really loved Shado—"

"Felicity."

Felicity shuts her mouth. "Wow, I really suck at this," she mumbles.

"I just want some time alone," Oliver says, tired and thoughtless. "You should go home."

Felicity nods. She gathers her things and is about to leave when she turns and decides she's just going to say it. Who knows what the next few days will bring?

"Oliver," she clears her throat, "I think you should know that it's going to be okay. I know this because you're the strongest person I know and you will get through this. We will help you, we will protect your family."

Oliver smiles because Felicity is the most fearless person he knows.

"Thank you, Felicity," he says.

Felicity nods, glad that her message has gotten to him, that she didn't mess it up by saying something stupid or inappropriate or embarrassing.

"I'm sorry I know about Shado," she added, because Sara had told Team Arrow the story behind Oliver and Slade's broken brotherhood. Sara had told them about Shado who sounded incredible and was probably four times that.

"That's alright, Felicity."

"And," Felicity says, gathering her courage, "if you ever find yourself faced with another situation like that on the island where you had to choose…" she trailed off, wincing at the thought. "I want you to know: don't chose me."

"What?" Oliver wasn't following. She was talking about the choice between Sara and Shado, but…

"I know you care about me, Oliver, and you would choose me if you could, but if you had to choose between me and someone else you cared about, well don't choose me. I'm giving you my permission."

Oliver stands frozen. His mouth was dry, no words came to his mind. His eyes were focused on Felicity, so talented, so beautiful, but what was she saying? Why was she saying this?

"I don't know what you mean," Oliver says, taking a step toward her. "It doesn't make any sense."

"Sure it does," she says sadly, "If things go bad, I don't want you to choose me. You've chosen me enough. You don't have to choose me if times ever get tough because you've chosen me before, you've chosen me to help you, to be your partner and your friend, and so you don't need to choose me again."

Oliver takes another step and reaches out. He pulls her into his arms and he is ripped apart in so many ways because it's taken him this long to realize that Felicity is exceptional. She is dependable and she is daring, and above all, she is selfless.

And he has always acted so selfishly around her, yet she never complains. She never demands anything for herself. She has always tried to understand him, she has always supported him and protected him and she is again, now, in his darkest time, trying to protect him, trying to lessen the blow.

"Thank you, Felicity," he says, because it is all he can say.

Because he's finally realized that he can never tell her he loves her.

Oliver Queen does not deserve Felicity Smoak because she is so vibrantly justice and he is nothing more than a killer.