A/N: Here we go with the next installment of this series. This chapter was one of my favorites to work on at the time of writing it, mainly because I love Hild, and killing her off in this series was a hard thing to do…but, a pivotal one, I believe. I think Hild, even as a dead character, brings so much to the table…and I love that about her.

Chapter 39

There was only so much she could take, the waiting was killing her…eventually Keiichi would have to make his presence known in the hells. When he did, Megumi knew she'd face down her mother. She had no idea what to expect from the encounter. Bracing herself every chance she got, she considered her mother's words. They weighed her down, and Megumi didn't know why.

All the things she knew came into question under that gentle, blue eyed stare that she'd grown to loathe. Even thinking of that, made her want the fight to be over. She willing chalked it all up to the idea that revenge appealed to her. Somehow, there was just a hint of doubt in that conclusion, but she tried to push it away.

If you don't want to fight her, then just don't. Her devil said one day when Megumi was working on some hand to hand combat. You can tell she doesn't really want to fight you, and she's a first class goddess besides. What do you hope to really accomplish?

"Good question." Megumi breathed heavily, sweat dripping from her brow as she switched to her kick rotation. "Don't really know, and I don't really care…but if I backed down, it would be like letting go of everything I believe in. I can't do that."

It was a lie…

Lost in her usual routine, she barely saw the orb of purple whizzing towards her before she dodged it. Urd's eyes narrowed. "You're off, Meg." She said as she jumped down from her perch in the roof. "Restless energy, or just pissed off?"

Megumi glared at her, blowing the long bangs from her eyes with a huff. "Both." She clipped, going back to her the enemy that stood in her mind's eye. The opponent was something she could never defeat, and then again, it was one that she'd never meant to fight in the first place. Strange as the correlation was, she endeavored for her usual perfection.

Flawless and deadly, the magic streaming from her hands, concentrated in her fists and feet.

Urd sighed, with a shake of her head, calling forth her own battle garb. "Such a pain in the ass." In a flash, she took the space where Megumi's eyes were trained. Lightning speed was Urd's advantage as she sent the girl hard into the ground. "Let's make this quick. Don't forget to break your falls on your base element."

Her jaw already hurt. "You could have given me warning." She growled as she drew herself up, getting into her battle stance. "We're on the same side you know."

"Demons are never on the same side." Urd said as she rushed forward at half her usual speed. "Besides, we're still only half demon." A ball of fire blocked her, and she side stepped a left hook, grabbing hold of it with her hand. Sliding up to grab her niece's wrist, she fluidly brought the girl over her shoulder, and down onto the ground with such force that it kicked up dust. "You okay?"

"I'm fine." She waited, the world in front of her kept spinning as she forced herself to stand. "I'm still good to go."

Urd just smirked. "You're not going to win, you know." She studied the broken nail she sustained somewhere along the line. "We have the bloodline, but she's got the resolve." Urd had come to that conclusion time and time again, the distant memory of her accident as the lord of terror coming to mind. "You don't stand a chance."

"Yeah, maybe you're right." Megumi murmured looking down at the ground. "I'm still going to fight her though."

"Just be careful, Meg." Urd said with a smirk. "Bell's got a hell of a competitive streak." There was something fun about the wild look in brown eyes…something exciting, and she balled her hands back into fists. "Come on kiddo, I'll let you have the first strike."

There was something strange about grabbing that smaller fist in her palm every time it came flying towards her. Something about that power that felt so warm and inviting. Familiar, and yet distant. She knew this by heart, even though she would never tell Megumi why that was.

Urd would never be able to be beaten by hand to hand combat alone. It was an old routine…something left behind.

All she had to do was close her eyes, and recall that smirk that her mother kept upon her lips. Those moments when they found themselves in that selfsame hold. I wonder, what did you see back then? Urd thought to herself as she absorbed another spell in her palm. What about my scowl amused you most? She sent another fist flying, watching as Megumi rolled to the side, breaking away from Urd's grasp on her. Why did you always seem so…happy?

Rushing forward, time seemed to slow as Urd put force between her next punch. The young woman using both of her hands to block the attack. The force of the charge surrounded them both, negating their electric charges. The smoke cleared, and that resolve was still there. Brown eyes hardened and trained on her.

In that one instant, where determination met resolution, they knew the truth. Megumi never stood a chance…the young demon had always know that from the start, but she wasn't looking for a winning blow.

Megumi wanted approval…and she'd give anything for that one thing.

Urd understood that, as she stood up and dusted herself off. "Good. Never back down from a fight Meg." That grin on her face, self-assured and ready to face almost anything head on made Urd remember why this fighting style meant so much to her…why she felt some strange, inherent need to train Megumi with it. "Not even against your own mother. Fight hard against Belldandy."

History was repeating itself in some very strange ways.

"I want to be a goddess…" That's what Urd said, when she was too little to really understand the implications. "I want to be one, and you can't stop me."

"Do you now?" That smirk…always with that damn, self-assured arrogance fell into a frown at that moment. It was if a smile died within that moment, all of her mother's happiness crushed underfoot. Urd could remember it so vividly, and the disapproval that followed. "I don't think you have what it takes."

"How do you know?" The warm hand over hers that kept her fist in place tightened only slightly. Not enough to hurt, in fact, it was almost as if her mother had been merely holding on. Holding her, because she wasn't yet ready to let go and continue sparring. "I'm going to be a great goddess. You'll see." Later in life, there were many times Urd wondered if she would have made the same choice if she were a little older, a little wiser, and better understood her mother's intentions. "I'll be the best one there is."

"Blind determination again, Urd?" That fist that was so much more gentle than it could have been came flying towards her, and Urd recalled her maneuver. The same duck, the same roll out of the way…the same burn that stung her cheek. "You think you can get by like that?" The same question her mother always asked her...always challenging her to answer.

"I won't know unless I try." The taste of the ash from the rock sent into oblivion made her splutter, and clouded her vision. She had tried to wait for the fog to clear, and her eyes to focus. "I am going to try. I don't care if you like it or not, demon." It was the first time she'd ever said it as a taunt, even if it was a playful one at the time.

A jibe, nothing more.

At that moment, she'd seen her mother come at her, and the only thing she could do was stay the attack…face it, and likely get knocked back to the ground again. There was no time to think. All she could do was hold her hands out in front of her…and in that moment, she'd felt that same jolt, that same distribution of air…it was just a game to Hild…that same smirk back on her face again, as she spoke praise. "That's right, don't back down Urd…never back down."

It was one of the last things her mother had ever said to her as a child…later that day Urd went to the heavens, and Hild had turned her back to her without so much as a farewell…

…

It was easy to forget that for the first few hundred years of her life, Hild was the sole provider for all of her needs. Hild was often coined as many things, but never a mother…not a parent who coddled their child at every turn…yet, when Urd forced herself think on the matter, she had always had trouble with it. The image of her mother that she remembered, and the awful things she'd heard about were two separate things.

Things that Hild, the queen of the hells did…those were things Urd couldn't believe, until she'd been convinced of the truth.

She'd forgotten the meals they'd shared together, the mundane little moments often treasured by goddesses and cast aside by demons. The nights her mother spent reading to her, holding her through the roars of the drakes that bellowed every so often. The tutelage that ended before it had even had a chance to begin. The image of the woman who gave birth to her faded with age, and all of Hild's good was swallowed away by any and all misgiving.

As was the way most creatures seemed to think.

Anzasu was the easy mental replacement, but it was always odd that Urd never thought of the goddess as her mother. They never had exactly the same type of bond one might expect. Anzasu had seemed strangely alright with that tiny hint of indifference and avoidance that came with it.

The entire thing bothered Urd when she thought about it, and how oddly enough, Megumi and Belldandy shared that same bitter struggle.

"This whole thing has me in jitters." Belldandy said, one day when her husband was out of earshot. She had been trying to keep herself busy by diving head first into her domestic duties. She kept a rather long list of things that needed doing at any given time, so it wasn't particularly hard. "What is it about demons? Why do they have the urge to fight and argue at every turn?"

"It's about validation." Urd told Belldandy while chewing on a toothpick, an action she didn't do very often, but drinking wasn't cutting it.

"That's a luxurious answer, a silly one, but a luxury at any rate." Belldandy returned with a laugh. "I meant, why does it seem to bother Megumi so much? Do you suppose it's her age, or is it something else…a boy she likes maybe? You know, it's about that time…"

"Xic has a thing for her, but that's not why she's got a chip on her shoulder." Urd said slowly. "She doesn't think you're okay with it."

"With what? Having a boyfriend…" Belldandy trailed off. "I do suppose she's a little young. Hild once told me that since there isn't a seal on particular emotions, young demons are drawn to desires of the flesh that much sooner." She began chopping vegetables conjured from creation only knew where. "You could say that idea does bother me…she's too young for that."

"With being a demon." Urd muttered at her sister. "That's what she thinks you have a problem with."

Belldandy put the knife down, leaving the vegetables for dinner forgotten. "I can't exactly change the facts of her life, Urd. I know that." If that was acceptance or not, Belldandy remained unsure. "Besides, this isn't a new thing to me."

"You know that, and I know that…" Urd contemplated before sighing. "It's different between us. I'm not your kid."

"Her seals can't change who she is on the inside." Belldandy replied with a shake of her head. "She need to figure that out for herself. It's a dead horse. The topic has been flogged to death by beings such as yourselves. In spite of what anyone might try to do, you all tend to fall into that same pattern."

"I don't think it's about that." She poured herself another drink as she removed the toothpick, flicking it into the trash. "It's not that easy." Then with a grin, she downed the drink in one go. "After all, how can a goddess really accept a demon for a child? Let's face facts…deep down, you'd rather than she was a goddess. That she was like you." She began to pour herself another.

"You know what Urd, you're right." She said as she turned to her sister, leaning forward on the counter. Having found herself at her wits end with the demons of the household. She decided some harsh truth was in order. "I do wish she was a goddess. I also wish that Hikari would swallow her egg, and that Saria would try to be just a little more forthcoming."

She reached forward and took Urd's newly poured drink for herself. After wetting her throat, she continued. "While we're on the subject, I also wish that Keiichi didn't have a tendency to be aggressive in bed. Finally, I wish that you would finally put your past to rest." After having said all that, without a blush or even a scowl, she returned to her dinner preparations.

"Just because I'm a first class goddess doesn't make me perfect. I have my faults too, and I'm just as entitled to mine, as you are to yours. Get over it." Then a little quieter, she sighed. "It doesn't mean I love any of you any less."

Urd merely sat, eyebrow raised, unwilling to test Belldandy's ire any further.

…

It was true she felt herself an imperfect creature…that she feared for what exactly that might mean for herself, and her family. It was easier when her children were younger, when Keiichi was much easier to quell. She knew where his aggression stemmed from. She could easily trace where one bad habit of his ended and another began. Though she would never admit it, she found some of his troublesome antics endearing.

His demand that she spend time with him often made her feel needed. His demand that mealtimes be spent as a family let her know how dearly he wished to bring the household back together. His near insistence that she offer herself to him nightly gave her the distinct impression that he didn't just see her as a bond mate…rather, she was a woman he coveted even now.

Such a thing warmed her heart, when it didn't addle her slightly in the aftermath.

"I require a woman's opinion." Belldandy said simply one day when one of the demonic women came to gather a report. "I have no one to draw insight from."

Hagall was not fond of goddesses, not by any means. However to ignore Belldandy was the self-same as ignoring Keiichi's own desires and demands. It wouldn't do well to turn down the goddess who brought tea and cake into the living room. The fact that Hagall had even been welcomed inside this decidedly royal dwelling was a rarity worthy of notice.

It also helped to note that any favor she gained from Belldandy, would be favor kept with Keiichi.

She took a sip of tea. "I take it there are domestic problems? Aggression maybe?" Hagall asked bluntly, as she studied the worried goddess in front of her. "Wouldn't it be best to ask your elder sister? She is a demon too, after all."

"Half demon." Belldandy sighed in response. "As much as many claim otherwise, that truly makes a world of difference."

"That's true." Hagall was unsure just what the problem was, but she folded her hands in her lap. "So, what insight would you like, exactly?"

"Yes, well, that's…complicated I suppose you could say." Belldandy frowned, a scowl forming out of her own ineptitude. "Bluntly speaking, demons are creatures who as Hild once put it, are indiscriminate in how they achieve the things they most desire. The ramifications mean very little to the greater whole."

Hagall nodded. "She would say that, wouldn't she?" In fact, if anything bothered Hagall about the late queen, it was that tiny detail. "It's true, no question about it. Lady Hild was a special case, mind you. She was very persnickety about things of that nature. She kept a tight ship in that regard, no one was to question it."

Belldandy nodded, taking in those words. "A demon of Keiichi's make is rather average, at least I'd assume." Belldandy said then. "What might a man in the hells do, if he were a man such as Keiichi? What would be a normal life, and normal expectations…domestically speaking?"

"A thorny thing to ask, really." Hagall narrowed her eyes insipidly. "I wouldn't presume to say…the royalty of our realm is by no means normal. It never has been, at least to my recollection." She paused to think on it some, her mind blank. Finally, she sighed. "When one comes to think about it, Keiichi is as normal as our leadership gets. Textbook case, truly, by historical standard."

Belldandy wasn't satisfied by that answer. "Well then, if you were to presume?"

"It doesn't work like that." Hagall said carefully. "You must understand, given my rank, I wouldn't even begin to think at all of my lord's desires." She didn't want to make Keiichi's mate unhappy, so instead she merely shrugged. "Suppose, he came to me, then I would not deny him of any demand...however, that is the extent of my personal presumptions, as you say."

"There must be something more than that. Protocol of often cast aside down there, that I know all too well." Belldandy pressed. "Please speak it, I wish to know. It will not reach Keiichi, I promise you that."

"That's hard to do. He was born a demon. You see, that adds complication." Hagall then admitted as she took a calculating sip of tea, meeting Belldandy's gaze. "Given his status, a man such as himself would gain the attentions of many women, and likely father many offspring."

Finally getting someplace, Belldandy's eyes narrowed. "Is that so? Continue, please."

Rolling her eyes, Hagall complied. "Well, you see it's a matter of breeding rights." Knowing how irate a goddess could become when sent into turmoil, the demon spoke carefully. "If all of the children were of the same womb or not, would be a question of the women he chose to bed down with."

"It would be his choice, entirely?" Belldandy wondered aloud. "The woman, or women in his life, don't have a say?"

"Normally yes...but my lord is not a normal case." Hagall growled. "I've told you this before."

"I do not have all day." Belldandy hissed. "Speak it plainly, I will not ask again."

"Some demonic women are fiercely territorial, and others are as loose as a woman can get." Hagall said quickly. "However, he is the ruler. All things he demands are final." At this, she came to a simple conclusion. "There is only one demon of the realm, who, by rites alone, exceeds him. If he were to gain that woman's attention, then there is no doubt who'd have the upper hand."

Belldandy sighed at that. "I was afraid you'd speak something of that nature."

"Am I to assume smacking him about to get his attention no longer works?" Hagall asked her bluntly.

"He's ill-tempered on the best of days. I try not to do that, if I can help it. He's been trying to suppress his nature, and the desires that come along with it." Then a bit shyly, she sighed. "I was hoping there was another way to ease his suffering…bring him to see that he is not without the things he most seeks."

"There are plenty of ways to get through to a bullheaded demon." Hagall said with a devious grin. "The only problem is, at the end of the day, he's still just a demon. The mortal you thought you knew died out. You can try to rekindle that side of him, but, if that's what you want to do…well, I'd say you are more demonic than I am."

"What do you mean by that?" Belldandy murmured.

"Demon males, even human males, were not meant to live happily with one woman alone." Hagall said gently, realizing such a thing would hurt the goddess terribly. "Some human males were able to favor their divine side, but if you look into history, you will see their code was meant to serve a particular lifestyle. One head of the house, with many women to mother and tend to many offspring. Keiichi fights against his own, programed nature. As a human, logic overcame instinct...but demons are instinctual creatures...you have decided to make a new world. In doing so, you have called old code from his human nature."

"Because that was once the necessity to all mortal life." Belldandy murmured, finally understanding. "To be indiscriminate to a lover, meant more chances for offspring, more chances for a variance in the running code."

"There have been too many losses on all sides." Hagall agreed. "Old programs are kicking in, because the basis for all systems must be reset, otherwise, this new creation of yours will fail to exist."