Disclaimer: If I owned Vampire Knight it wouldn't be essentially Twilight but without the sparkling. Alas it is not meant to be. Hino owns all, I own Madi. Hakuna matata and whatnot…

Wear your tragedies as armor, not shackles…

-Unknown

Smile, Madi, smile.

I had grown accustomed to repeating those words in my head whenever I encountered Zero or Ichiru.

I didn't know how to act when Cross brought them home from the Association. I was never any good at comforting people and having Ichiru burst into tears and throw his arms around me in a crushing embrace was almost too much for me to handle.

If Kaien noticed anything different about the way I was acting he didn't mention it. Probably chalked it up to being a moody preteen or something (I was so not looking forward to going through puberty again).

I tried to ignore the guilt, telling myself it was pointless to feel as such. Their parents may be dead but the boys were together and human. That was better than what I could've hoped for when I embarked on this journey eight years ago. However, every action is not without a reaction. I have no way of knowing how different the story will be due to my interfering.

'Just because the past didn't turn out how I wanted it to doesn't mean the future can't be better that what I imagined.' I couldn't remember where I had read that but it was going to be my motto from now on. I had to stay optimistic.

Moving right along. I have about two years left before I'll be able to attend Cross Academy. They teach from year eight to year twelve. Kaname hasn't been by to talk to Kaien about integrating a 'Night Class' yet so I figured that'll be something that will be cropping up in the next year or so.

As a matter of fact, I haven't seen Kaname in a few months. Ever since the boys came to live with me and Kaien I haven't heard any word from him. Maybe he's busy cleaning up the mess Shizuka made with the Senate or Hunter Association.

"-what do you think about that Yuuki?"

"Huh?" I replied in confusion, raising my head from my still-full bowl of cereal. Kaien pursed his lips but didn't reprimand me for my lack of attention.

"I was thinking about incorporating a stable here at the Academy. On the last survey the students took it asked what change they'd like to see in the next year or so and many requested adding horseback riding to our extracurricular activities."

"That sounds kinda neat," I shrugged, glancing over at Ichiru who nodded earnestly with a bright smile.

"I think it'd be really cool. I always wanted to learn but-," he trailed off, voice cracking a bit in that way I could tell he was moments away from crying. "You-you know, I was so sickly I never got the chance to-."

"I'm not mad about that," Zero interjected suddenly from his perch on one of the stools around the island. I gave Kaien a confused look though Ichiru simply looked down at his plate and no further words were exchanged on the topic.

"Well then, I'll put in a request with the city council and make sure we can build one on the grounds. We received a donation that should just about cover everything we need aside from an actual instructor and caretaker from a very generous benefactor."

My eyebrows slid up in question. "And who might that be?"

"Don't worry about it Yuuki," Kaien smiled, reaching over and ruffling my bangs lovingly.

"You could make the kids do it," Ichiru supplied. "Offer free lessons outside of class if they volunteer to keep up with the cleaning and everything."

Kaien rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "I think that's a good idea. I'll draw up a plan in the next few days or so."

"Cool."

"Sounds fun."

"Are you okay Momo-san?" Three heads whirled around in unison at the sound of Zero's concerned voice, looking at our beloved caretaker leaning on the counter by the dishwasher.

"O-oh. Y-yes. I'm just feeling a bit faint is all. Stood up too fast," she laughed breathlessly, picking up a small stack of dishes before they tumbled from her arms onto the floor with a crash.

"Oh Momo!" Kaien exclaimed. "Let me help you!" Ever the white knight, he practically leapt from his chair, ushering her to the living room to sit down on the couch.

"She looks really pale," Zero whispered to me as Ichiru fetched her a glass of water.

"She does," I murmured, beginning to pull all my EMT training from many moons ago to the front of my mind.

"I'm fine Kaien. I d-don't m-mean to worry you all," she said, smiling warmly as I realized with horror that the left side of her face was drooping slightly.

"Raise your arms in front of you, palms up, and close your eyes," I demanded, hooking my foot around the ottoman and pulling it to me so I could sit before her.

"Yuuki, wh-what are you-?" she began to say.

"Humor me," I replied, locking my rusty eyes on dove-gray. She looked from me to Kaien who simply shrugged in response.

"This is silly," Momoyama sighed but she did as I asked. My heart plummeted to my stomach when her left arm drifted to the side unconsciously.

"Repeat after me 'You can't teach an old dog new tricks'."

"Yuuki, why-?"

"Please?"

Momoyama opened her eyes, giving me a sour look before obediently doing so. "You can't teach…" I worried my lower lip between my teeth when I realized she didn't remember what I had said.

"Call an ambulance," I told Kaien over my shoulder. "I think she's having a stroke."

"Are you serious Yuuki?"

"How do you even-?"

"Do it," I snapped in annoyance, reaching forward and taking Momo's hands in mine. I fervently ignored the way they were trembling in my grasp as I heard Kaien on the phone in the background. With any luck it was what they called a 'mini-stroke', one that would resolve on its own in the next few hours. The only problem with those were they were often precursors to more serious ones.

When the ambulance came to take Momo to the hospital she had fallen unconscious and Kaien wasn't able to wake her. I had never felt as helpless as I did watching the medics speed off, lights flashing and sirens blaring. Kaien had told us to stay home that day, that he'd call our school and let them know what was going on. After that he was heading off to the hospital and we were left alone, hovering around the phone in the living room for hours as we waited for any sort of news regarding our nanny.

It was a little after four in the afternoon when the phone rang though none of us wanted to answer it. It took over six rings for me to work up the courage to answer it.

"Cross residence," I managed to say weakly, twirling the cord between my fingers.

"Yuuki? It's me. Um, Momo had something called an aneurysm in her head. She was taken to surgery to try and fix the blood vessel but it um-," I heard him clear his throat, voice cracking slightly. "-it ruptured and she um-she died earlier this afternoon-."

The phone hit the floor with a thump as I collapsed onto the couch, shoulders trembling as I began sobbing. Ichiru sat beside me, sliding an arm around my shoulder and hugged me to him. I buried my face in his chest, clutching his t-shirt as I heard Zero speaking quietly with Cross before putting the phone back on the cradle.

"I didn't even get to say goodbye," I choked out, tears streaming down my flushed cheeks as I wept. Moments later I felt Zero rest his head on my shoulder, arms coming around my middle as Ichiru played with my hair. They hadn't known Momo as long as I did but it was still devastating news for anyone to receive.

I don't know how long we sat like that, curled up on the couch as I grieved for Momoyama. No words were exchanged, they didn't tell me it was going to be okay or that she knew I loved her and she'd be watching over me. Their silence was more reassuring than any speech they could've spouted off. They knew all-too well how it felt to lose a loved one, after all…

It was a sunny day when we buried Momoyama Yoshida.

I was surprised by the turnout. Many of them were vampire hunters who had worked with her at some point and all of them had nice things to say about her.

It was a short ceremony but very beautiful. Heartfelt words were exchanged, tears were shed, and her life was celebrated by all present.

I was surprised with how much her death had affected me. I wanted to chalk it up to it being so sudden and unexpected but knew it was because I loved her like a grandmother. I was beginning to realize that this was no longer just a story. This was real, these were real people, people I had grown to love and care for.

And that was a truly terrifying revelation.

The car ride home was silent, Kaien kept looking in the rearview mirror to check on me and the boys.

"Ah, I have an idea," he said, getting our attention. "The city council has approved of the plans to build a stable on academy grounds. What say we go home and get changed real quick? There's a nice couple that lives a few miles outside the city that raises horses and I've thought about buying from them. I was thinking we could maybe go meet some of the horses? See if you like any?"

We answered with various degrees of interest, Ichiru being the most animated and that was only a shrug of his shoulders. Kaien wasn't at all deterred however. He was trying to make the best out of a bad situation and I knew that Momo would be doing cartwheels in her coffin if she found out he let us sit around and be mopey.

After getting changed into jeans and a sweatshirt we headed off to the ranch. At this point Ichiru was practically vibrating in the seat and even Zero seemed a bit more excited. I remained my broody self, arms folded moodily over my chest and hood drawn up over my head.

Kaien seemed to get the message as he reached over to the passenger side, giving my leg a squeeze with a small smile before turning his attention back to the road. I was happy they were all so understanding, it had make the entire ordeal slightly more bearable.

To my surprise Zero was the first one out of the car when we reached the ranch. We were met by a lovely young couple named Mia and Kaoru who offered to show us around. I tried my best to be happy, to keep from bringing everyone else down but it was hard. I gave Zero a tight-lipped smile when one of the horses ate an apple out of his hand and the adorably excited squeal he made as a result (that he would vehemently deny ever making).

The twins were having a good time and Kaien was leisurely chatting with the owners, asking them how best to go about raising horses when my gaze was drawn to a lone mare in a far-off pasture.

The sun was gleaming off its coat, making it shimmer silver in the lighting. Her mane was thick and white like freshly-fallen snow and I wondered why she was separated from the rest of the horses.

"What are you doing Yuuki?" I glanced up in surprise when Kaoru addressed me.

"Why is that horse all by herself?"

"Her? She's got a bit of a temper, doesn't really play well with others, likes to bite them," he replied, raking a hand back through his hair.

"What's her name?"

"Doesn't have one. We recently bought her from another ranch and they hadn't given her a name. Well, they did, but 'Hellspawn' isn't very classy for such a pretty creature," he chuckled.

I worried my lower lip between my teeth, tugging on Kaien's sleeve and getting his attention. "Can we go see her?"

"Sure thing Yuuki," he exclaimed, smiling a bit when he realized I was beginning to express an interest in the situation.

I jogged over to the fence, climbing onto it and feeling Kaien rest a hand on my back to keep me from pitching head-first over it. "She's really beautiful."

"Yeah," I replied, watching the young mare trot around the pasture and paw at the ground. "Can we get her?"

Cross gave me a surprised look as the mare walked over to us cautiously before letting out a nervous whinny and backing away. "Why-?"

"She doesn't get along with the other horses. She doesn't even have a name. She's a loner," I resisted the urge to add on 'like me' and simply gave Kaien my patented puppy dog eyes.

"If she's bad tempered I don't think we should have her around other horses or kids for that matter-."

"She's probably just misunderstood," I argued, jumping down from my perch and winding my arms around his middle, looking up at him. "Please dad?"

I know, I know. Cheap shot but hey, it works.

Half an hour later and Kaien was finishing up paperwork that would give us ownership of the mare. We had nowhere to house her just yet but Mia and Kaoru promised we could come visit whenever we wanted. The plan was to own no more than four horses and Kaien would return in a few months to purchase the other three when the construction of the stables was complete.

I spent most of that time trying to coax her to the fence and get her to eat out of my hand. She was very timid and I began worrying that I had made a bad choice before she surprised me by taking the apple wedge from my hand before darting off.

"What are you going to name her?" Ichiru asked, leaning on the fence beside me. I shrugged in response, feeling a smile tug at my lips when she started parading around the field, tossing her head almost pompously.

"What about White Lily?" Zero suggested. "You know, in honor of Momo-san."

"They were her favorite flowers," I agreed, voice cracking a bit as I fought the urge to cry.

"You know it's okay to cry Yuuki," Zero said quietly. "Crying is how your eyes speak when your mouth can't explain how broken your heart is."

"Philosophical," I tried to joke but his gentle words triggered a surge of emotions and a second later I was bawling like a baby in his arms. He awkwardly patted my back but a few moments later he embraced me in a tight hug.

"Promise you'll never leave me," I said, looking up at Zero with bloodshot eyes. "Neither of you. I'd be lost without you guys."

"Don't say stuff like that dork," Zero chided me, giving me a bop on the head. "Friends forever, remember?"

I stared at his outstretched pinky in disbelief for a moment. I slowly reached forward, wrapping mine around his and seeing his lips twitch into a small smile.

Maybe this story wasn't about getting a happy ending. Maybe it was just about the journey to get there. Well, whatever it was, I would do everything in my power to ensure these poor broken boys would rightfully receive what they deserved which was, in all honesty, a happy ending.

So yeah, kinda jumped around. Sorry I've been gone for so long. Started school and that's more important than this unfortunately. Thanks for reading. Special thanks to everyone who has reviewed and favorited/followed this. Ya'll are superstars. Sorry for any grammar/spelling booboos.