Authors Note: Characters may be a little OOC. Set around the time when Elliot and Kathy were divorcing and she asked him to come back home. Read and Review. ONESHOT
"I love you El. It's always been you," she said, her voice a throaty whisper.
"You're with me all the time, rooted deep in my heart. But I can't have you. I know that, I do." Her voice resonated with unspent tears and her words slurred together just a little. Her stomach lurched and it's suddenly clear to her that she shouldn't have had that last drink. She hadn't meant to drink so much; it was something that she had seen her mother do more times than she'd care to remember when she was growing up. She had made herself a promise that she would never be like her mother.
The world started spinning and she slammed her eyes shut.
"You're the one thing I got right in my life. The only one I ever let inside. And I tried to fight it Elliot, I tried so hard. I ran from it and it still found me. I ran so damn far. And you still found me. You always find me," Olivia sighed, suddenly overcome with fatigue.
"But it's too late now, I know that. So I'm gonna hang up now, I'm so tired Elliot. Night," she said hanging up the phone and collapsing on her bed. As soon as her head hit the comforter the dark reassuring abyss that had been stalking her all night finally claimed her.
Elliot sat in his car, his hand still clutching his cell phone. His mind reeled over all Olivia had said. She'd been drunk, that much was perfectly clear. But he'd heard the truth of what she'd said, the longing and the pain in her voice. He let his phone drop down onto the passenger's seat and leaned back against the driver's seat, his eyes sliding shut.
If he was truthful with himself he had to admit to the little tremor of excitement that traveled the current of his body. He had, in the smallest hours of the night, and the most secret parts of his mind, thought about Olivia and his insane desire to have her as more than his friend. He'd always known it wasn't a reality, and never imagined it could be. But her phone call had sent an unexpected surge of hope through him.
Olivia groaned, shaking more painkillers from the bottle while at the same time trying not to move her head. She winced as Munch bounced over to her desk, his smile wide and his voice loud as he said, "Hey Liv. Too much partying last night?" Olivia tried to shake the urge to punch the smug smile off his lips, barely resisting the urge and only because it would mean moving too much right now. She settled for glaring at him as she swallowed the pills. She ignored Munch as he laughed way too loudly at her expression, turning her attention instead to her uncharacteristically silent partner.
"What's up with you?" She asked, wincing at the sound of her own voice. She closed her eyes for a moment, trying to steady herself. She took several deep steadying breaths before she cracked her eyes open. She found Elliot studying her.
"What?" She asked irritably.
"Had an interesting phone call last night," he said, his eyes searching hers for any glimmer of memory.
Olivia looked back at him impatiently. "Yeah, so? I'm willing to bet a popular guy like you gets a lot of interesting calls."
Elliot let out the breath he'd been holding, part of him relieved that she hadn't remembered, and a little part of him felt a definite loss. He flashed her a small smile and turned his attention to the work that was piling up on his desk.
Olivia watched her partner, his words and behavior sending a nagging feeling through her. She felt like she was forgetting something, that stupid annoyingly persistent feeling that something was just out of reach. She closed her eyes, trying to grasp at the elusive feeling, to bring the hazy picture that was trying to form into focus.
She gasped as the fog cleared, the breath catching in her throat, her heart plummeting to the floor beneath her feet. Her eyes snapped open, focusing on her partner. She'd called Elliot last night. She'd been drinking and it had seemed like the perfect thing to do at the time, to tell him how she felt.
Olivia felt like she was about to lose her battle with the nausea that had been harassing her all morning. She never drank more than one or two drinks max in a night, usually. An alcoholic mother had emptied all thoughts of drinking binges from her mind. But last night Elliot had confessed that Kathy had asked him to move home, and all other thoughts had disappeared. She'd needed something to silence the voices, the thoughts, the images. She'd forgotten about the aftermath, hadn't even considered what might happen.
She continued to stare at her partner, her mouth slightly parted in shock. What was she going to say to him? Would he chalk up whatever she'd said to the fact she had quite obviously been drunk? She tried to speak, tried to say his name, but the words wouldn't form. Elliot seemed to hear her anyway, his eyes coming up to meet hers. He motioned up towards the roof with a jerk of his head, his eyebrows rising in inquiry.
Olivia moved her head woodenly, silently agreeing, and made her way out the door.
She took the stairs that led to the roof slowly, her partner silent at her side. When they made it to the roof she moved automatically, putting distance between them. She turned to face him.
"I was drunk," she said, the words coming out of her mouth before she had a chance to think them through.
Elliot nodded. "I know," he said quietly. Olivia took an unconscious step forward, straining across the distance to hear his words. She let out a sigh of relief, her eyes darting up to meet his.
"But I also know truth when I hear it," he said, speaking in the same volume. Olivia took another step forward without thinking about it. She felt panic begin to rise in her chest, trying frantically to recall exactly what she'd said. But those memories seemed determined to remain buried.
"Look Elliot, I don't even remember what I said," she began.
"I'll never forget what you said," Elliot interrupted, his eyes holding hers captive, his voice soft. Olivia fought to swallow past the lump that had suddenly formed in her throat, unable to look away from the raw emotion in his eyes.
"El," she said, her voice a throaty rumble, her eyes prickling with sudden tears. "Just let it go," Olivia pleaded.
Elliot took several quick steps towards her, closing the distance between them before she could even react. "I don't want to let it go Liv," he said, stopping right in front of her, barely an inch of space between them.
"What about Kathy, Elliot?" She asked, the words feeling like ash on her tongue.
He cupped his hand under her chin, bringing her eyes up to meet his. "I love Kathy," he said, his eyes searching hers. "I always will. But there hasn't been anything real between us in years, and I just refused to see it. I am so in love with you Olivia," he said softly, his thumb stroking the side of her face. "I tried not to; I tried to let you go. But by then it was too late, I was lost." He smiled at her and she felt a tremor move through her. He lowered his head slowly, his lips seeking hers. He brushed his lips softly over hers, trying to gauge her reaction.
At the first contact of his lips on hers Olivia felt like a live wire had touched her heart. She felt more alive in that moment than she ever had in her life. Elliot pulled back slightly, watching her reaction, waiting for her answer to the unspoken question he was asking. She groaned, closing the small distance between them, her hands going to his face, pulling it closer. Their lips collided with gentle urgency, arms circling each other, moving so that there was no space at all between their bodies.
They stayed like that for what seemed like a lifetime before the need to breathe more than short frantic gasps became too great to ignore and they had to pull back. Olivia leaned her forehead against his and took several deep breaths. "We shouldn't be doing this," she said, the words coming out reluctantly. "Not here." The words were hers, she felt her lips moving, but she couldn't make herself mean them. She tightened her arms around him, afraid that he would pull away.
Elliot smiled and flexed his arms around her. "I don't care who sees," he said with a huge smile stretched across his face.
"They'll split us up," she said, her eyes holding his.
"Never going to happen," he said with a confident smile. "We're the best team they've got and they know it." Elliot placed a soft kiss on her lips, pulling back as Olivia started to deepen the kiss. He chuckled at the look of irritation on her face. "Maybe we should go back down," he said, his eyes twinkling in the afternoon sun.
"Like hell," Olivia replied grabbing his face between her hands and pulling his mouth to hers. Elliot responded by tightening his hold around her waist, lifting her off her feet and moving towards the stairwell housing. He pressed her back against the wall, the new position giving him significant leverage over her. He smiled against her lips as he felt her frustration at not being in control radiate through her and was about to relinquish his hold on her, allowing her to take control, when he heard the door to the roof open and reluctantly pulled away from her.
They had just separated to a safe distance when Munch appeared in view. He looked between them and raised his eyebrows. "Captain sent me to get you two," he said.
Elliot nodded and moved past him to enter the stairwell, Olivia in tow not far behind. "He knows," Olivia hissed when they were far enough away from Munch so that he couldn't hear.
"He doesn't know anything," Elliot said reassuringly, flashing her a small smile. Olivia nodded, trying to calm her frayed nerves as she followed Elliot down the stairs.
Munch stood at the top of the stairs, a huge smile spread across his weathered face, watching two of his best friends whisper and smile at each other. "About damn time," he said with a chuckle, setting off down the stairs after his friends.
THE END