Just so you know, if you read this story, I am not responsible for your nightmares, headaches, insomnia, blurred vision, upset stomach, shakes, shivers, tremblings, rising blood pressure, decreased appetite, gray hairs, unsightly limps, moles, lopsided ears, humped backs, nostril flares, or athlete's foot. You've been warned.

Fableton was a happy land. It was the deep well from which all hopes and dreams sprang from. To the East lived the Persons, the men and women of fairy tales. Cinderella, who ran a boutique, Hansel and Gretel with their bakery, Goldilocks, who chaired the Food Safety Commission, and so on. They were the ones who inspired the stories told to children.

To the south lay the Wild lands. Why it was called that, no one knew, since all the animals that lived there were actually quite tame. Here lived every kind of speaking and thinking animal ever imagined. Lots of mice, ducks, rascally rabbits, and even a flying elephant. There was a whole suburb of Carebears.

In the North resided the Holidays. Santa, Jack Skellington, The Chinese Dragon, and so on. It was also home to large communities of rowdy leprechauns and elves who drank too much and got into scuffles.

In the center of the land was a large garden. Here reigned the monarch of the lands, Mother Goose. She kept watch over the populace with benign goodwill for the most part. However, there was one thorn in her garden, metaphorically speaking, that strained her patience.

To the west was a high mountain range. Few paid any attention to it. To the majority of the residents it just… was. Fewer still knew that beyond the mountain was a thick forest of vines. Many were as thick as a man. It was the home of several species of insect. Many would bite if disturbed. The rest would bite for no reason at all.

Past the forest was a chasm. It wasn't a true bottomless pit, but it was deep enough that if any man fell in, they would grow old and die before hitting the bottom. There was a narrow bridge that spanned the chasm, but it was a magical bridge. It only appeared during a full moon. It was about 18 inches wide and had no side rails. It had been attached to the posts at either end with a glue gun. If you managed to cross it you were then confronted by a maze with hedges 100 feet tall.

The maze was home to angry trolls, bloodthirsty dragons and scorpions the size of horses. There were dozens of deadly traps along the paths, and if someone tried to climb over the walls, they would quickly find themselves devoured by carnivorous fire sprites.

At the center of the maze was a small house surrounded by a lush lawn. The lawn was decorated by thousands of little wooden signs. No traveler knew what the signs said, because none had ever managed to make it out of the maze. Which was exactly what vexed Mother Goose so much.

Residing in that small house was the only adult female of Fableton that had she had never found a True Love for. A stubborn, willful beauty who was determined to never be anyone's happily ever after.

Mother Goose sighed as she tended the violets in her garden. She had sent handsome princes, bold knights, courageous adventures, stalwart huntsmen and even a sexy pool boy once. None had succeeded. All had perished. That poor pool boy. It was very difficult to clean a pool when you were reduced to nothing but a few fingers and a spleen.

She had then went the opposite direction. She sent outrageous buccaneers, wicked pirates, boastful wizards and plundering outlaws on the chance that the beauty liked bad boys. Same results. The wizard came the closest, until his fireball bounced off the scorpion and set his robes ablaze. Turns out scorpions don't like their food cooked, but trolls do.

"Mother Goose?"

She smiled when she turned to find Seibert, the puffed up Sheriff of Nottingham approaching. He thought entirely too highly of himself, but he had a knack for keeping the leprechauns and elves in line. "Hello, Sheriff. You look perturbed."

He huffed angrily. "They are at it again," he growled. "The stable boys were doing that… that… science stuff again," he spat out.

Mother Goose sighed and set her watering can down. "Bring them to me," she said wearily. She moved to her tea table and sat down. A couple of minutes later the Sheriff returned with the five stable boys. He gave them one last glare before turning and striding away. Mother Goose stared at them for several seconds before waving them forward. She just knew this conversation was going to give her a headache.

Mother Goose sipped her tea, trying to decide what to do with the five men before her. She hated having to punish anyone, but honestly, these five just kept pushing.

"So," she began sternly, "you boys have once again neglected your duties to play at that hokum you call science."

"It's not hokum," the tallest said stubbornly. The other four gave him warning looks.

She tried not to smile at the way the taller one met her eyes unwaveringly. "Oh? And have you brought a proton or neutron for me to see?"

The other four looked down at the ground but the leader merely clenched his fists tightly. She was about to give them their punishment when a high pitched shriek echoed nearby. She turned to the looking glass in time to see the latest adventurer, Sir Zachary, being devoured by a nasty looking beetle the size of a hobbit. She gritted her teeth with frustration.

She was about to vent aloud when she heard one of the stable boys moan and then hit the ground. She looked at his fainted form curiously as an idea began to take root.

Hmmm. Maybe she could accomplish two goals at once. At the very least, the stable boys would be out of her hair. She smiled encouragingly, ignoring the suspicion that blossomed on the leader's face.

"You're continued flaunting of the rules show me you five have courage. So, I have a task for you," she said calmly. "An epic adventure befitting five brave lads such as yourself. None have succeeded, but maybe that is because this is a quest for scientists, not knights."

The three short ones looked faint, but the tallest looked intrigued. "What sort of quest?"

She laughed lightly. "Why, the greatest quest of all. The quest for true love."

Blue birds flew up immediately, trilling softly. A collective sigh of happiness went up across the land. Heart shaped clouds appeared in the sky. Cherubs gathered and began to sing a gentle love song, but a stiff voice cut them off.

"No, thank you."

The birds collided in midair, the clouds rumbled with thunder, and the sigh trailed off into a sob.

Mother Goose gawked at the insolent male before turning angry. "What is your name?" she demanded.

"Sheldor the Stable boy," he replied cautiously. His companions helped the one who was had fainted earlier back to his feet.

"Okay, Sheldor," she said, standing up and approaching them. "What about fame?"

He shook his head firmly.

"Riches," she promised.

Again, he declined.

Mother Goose was aghast at his stubborn refusal. She shoved her fists into her hips. "What do you want?!" she growled.

Sheldor looked down at his companions pensively. He thought about it carefully before turning back to the monarch. "A laboratory," he said finally. "A place where anyone so inclined can study the mysteries of the universe peacefully, without interference or belittling."

Mother Goose looked at the Looking Glass where the beetle was currently wiping it's mouth fastidiously on the tattered remains of Sir Zackary's cloak. "Fine," she agreed. "Complete the quest and you get your Laboratory. Now, get out of my sight. Go see the wizard, Gabhaus. He will give you a map, supplies and weapons."

Once they were gone, she walked over to the Looking Glass. "They probably won't make it over the mountain, but at least they won't disturb my peace anymore," she muttered.