Elsa let out a sigh as she was curled up on a couch in the castle library trying to read the book that lay before her, but having great difficulty concentrating. Snowflakes lay frozen in mid-air around her as her mind wandered back to events earlier that day.
"Anna? Are you in there? Are you ok? Can I come in?", Elsa asked as she gently knocked on the door to her sister's room. It was getting late and she was worried that her sister hadn't greeted her like usual asking to spend time together. Elsa had become accustomed to Anna's cheerful greetings and pleads to spend time together as soon as Anna realized she was free from her duties for the day and the absence of that greeting tonight had the queen deeply troubled.
"Go away, Elsa!", came Anna's voice, nervous, but firm.
Elsa flinched, taken aback as a hurt feeling rose in her chest.
"Anna, what's wrong? Is something bothering, y-" Elsa began.
" I said 'Go away,Elsa'", Anna interrupted more forcefully this time.
Elsa bit her lip, choking back a sob, then cleared her throat, trying to get her composure.
"Anna, are you mad at me?", she said with a somewhat shaky voice, but somehow managed to keep it steady for the most part.
All she heard was silence that seemed to go on forever. Elsa's heart began to ache deeply now.
"Anna, I'm so sorry for whatever I did to make you angry at me. I'm sorry for striking you with my powers twice, for shutting you out for 13 years, for making you feel unloved, for failing to protect you, for making you go through the loss of our parents alone, for making you go through everything alone, for not being there for you when you needed me, for not being the big sister you needed me to be," Elsa apologized breaking out into a full-out sob at the end.
"I'm sorry for everything. Please forgive me," she added softly.
"I'm not angry, Elsa. And I've already forgiven you for those things along time ago, but you have to go," Anna told her firmly, but gently.
Elsa was thoroughly confused at that point, but admittedly also relieved that Anna wasn't mad at her.
Still worried about her sister, but realizing that Anna was adamant about not letting her in the room, she sighed and retreated into the library, trying to lose herself in a book she grabbed off of one of the shelves.
She had been there ever since, crying silently to herself, staining the book with her tears, as her snowflakes began to fall and freeze around her, a physical manifestation of her sadness. She never realized how much it hurt to be shut out. God, it hurt. Was this what Anna felt for all those 13 years? The pain was almost unbearable. Even though Anna had said she wasn't mad, Elsa couldn't help wondering if her sister was subconsciously getting revenge on her. But why, of all days, did it have to be this day? Today was Elsa's birthday and her sister hadn't so much as given a "Happy birthday" greeting. Come to think of it, her sister hadn't been out of her room at all that day. Hurt turned to worry, panic beginning to well up in her chest. Oh God, what if something was wrong with Anna? What if she was hurt? Thoughts raced through her mind, her frozen snowflakes being replaced with a small blizzard swirling around her.
She threw the book she had been futilely attempting to read on the couch beside her with a loud thud.
She pressed her hands against her forehead.
"No. Don't panic, Elsa. I'm sure she's fine. Just going through one of her awkward stages again. Calm down. Deep breaths. G'aah. This isn't working. Conceal, don't feel," she began muttering to herself as she hugged her arms around her chest, her shoulders shaking as she her eyes glistened with unshed tears.
"Elsa, oh my God! What's wrong?"
It was Anna's voice, her sister running towards her worriedly and scooping her shivering, broken form up in her arms.
"I'm here. Shhh," Anna reassured her as she rubbed her back gently.
"I…I…thought you were mad at me. Then, when I remember you said you weren't mad, I thought you might be hurt or something and didn't want me to know. I was worried Anna. You usually can't wait to spend time with me. But today you just ignored me, locked up in your room. And when you told me to go away, it really stung, especially because today is my birthday and you never even once told me happy birthday. It hurts, Anna. My heart. Is this how you felt when I shut you?", Elsa confessed, trying to choke back her sob .
"I'm so sorry, Elsa. I didn't mean to hurt you. I knew it was your birthday. That's why I spent all day in my room, working on my present for you. I wanted it to be a surprise, but then I heard loud, distressed muttering coming from the library and rushed over here as fast as I could to make sure you were ok," Anna admitted, blushing with embarrassment.
Elsa dried her tears and looked up at Anna. "You spent all day working on a present for me?" , Elsa choked out, stunned with gratitude.
Anna shuffled her feet nervously on the ground. "I wanted it to be perfect, but I guess I'm not good at that kind of thing. It came out ugly," she sighed, blushing.
"I'm sure it's lovely. May I see it?", Elsa asked with the excited, brightened eyes of a child, despite being a grown women.
"Um…I suppose it's only fair since I made you upset and somehow managed to mess up things like I usually do, but I don't really want to show you because I'm afraid you'll find it hideous and hate it and…," Anna began rambling.
"I'm sure I'll love it, Anna. After all, it was made by you, with your love," Elsa interrupted her warmly.
Anna blushed. "Thanks, sis. So, um, I guess I'll take you to my room to see it now," she said walking towards the room, Elsa following her.
She opened the door slowly, holding her breathe nervously.
"There it is," she whispered, barely audible, pointing to an ice sculpture in the corner of her bedroom which had chisels and hammers laying on the floor next to it.
"Oh, Anna, I love it! It's a beautiful sculpture of..." Elsa began, but stopped mid-sentence, furrowing her burrows.
What was it a sculpture of? She studied it thoroughly. It looked like a chimp hugging a troll. Although there were no chimps native to Arendelle, she knew what they looked like from the royal menagerie that she had inherited from her parents.
"It's me and you hugging," Anna interrupted with an embarrassed sighed.
At first, Elsa's eyebrows shot up in shock, but she let out of a soft giggle and wrapped her arms around her sister in a gentle hug.
She glanced at the ice figures hugging and teased, " Wow, Anna! You really captured an uncanny likeness over there. It's like looking into a mirror right now."
Anna glared playfully and elbowed her sister in the stomach.
Elsa let go of her sister and rubbed her stomach.
"Ow. I guess I deserved that though," she chuckled, rolling her eyes playfully.
"Sorry it sucks so bad. I can't do anything right," Anna apologized.
"Don't be sorry, Anna. I love it. I really do. And you do everything right, except maybe freaking me out today," Elsa said softly, reassuringly.
"Yeah, sorry about that. I didn't mean to ruin your birthday, Elsa," Anna apologized again.
"It's alright, Anna. You can stop apologizing now though and help me carry my gift out from your room and into my room," Elsa teased.
"What? You actually want it somewhere where you have to look at it?", Anna gawked.
Elsa laughed.
"I wasn't lying when I said I love it, Anna. You made it. And it's perfectly imperfect, like you. That's why I love it. That's why I love you," Elsa confessed.
As the two girls pulled each other into another warm embrace, Anna said, "Thanks. And want to know something else?"
Elsa looked down at her curiously.
"You don't have to be ashamed of yourself either, Elsa. You're perfectly imperfect too and that's why I love you," Anna gently told her sister.
They smiled at each other before breaking the hug apart, preparing to carry the ice sculpture to Elsa's room, where she could admire the beauty of its perfect imperfectness.
Perfectly imperfect like her sweet, loving little sister.
Perfectly imperfect like herself.