Title: Dilemma

Summary: Kakashi is caught in a rather twistedly hot dilemma between the Godaime Hokage and the Godaime Mizukage.

Author's Note: Hey, all! This idea just struck me in the middle of watching another rerun of some Naruto episodes, and I noticed how the Mizukage's beauty rivaled that of Lady Tsunade's. And since Kakashi just happens to be the hottest ninja in the whole show in my opinion, I think he's more than fitting to take the part of monkey in the middle. This is also completely AU. Anyway, I hope you all like this. It's completely plotless. It's just something I thought would be fun to write. And it was. So R&R! Rated T for language and mentions of sexual activities in later chapter. No smut.

-McDiggin'It

…

Chapter One: Duty

...

"She's here."

Kakashi looks up from his beloved book to look at his lifetime rival, Gai. "Who is?" he inquires flatly.

Gai turns his head to him, his eyes wide, full of life, and absolutely excited… but it's Gai, so there's no surprise there. "The Lady Mizukage, of course! Have you not been paying attention to anything Lady Tsunade had said to us?"

The silver haired jounin shrugs his shoulders as he goes back to reading the orange book in his hand. "The Hokage isn't here right now… So as of right now, nothing concerns me."

Kakashi and Gai, though both reluctant to work together on any mission because of their rivalry, had put aside their childish antics when the Godaime Hokage had assigned them to be her personal bodyguards. Of course, it only made sense. Kakashi and Gai are both elite jonin's, and though they're 'sworn enemies', they're also two of the best shinobi's in the village of Konoha. So it only seemed fitting.

Gai shakes his head in disapproval at Kakashi's comment. "My dear rival, you surprise me the most today."

"Is that so?" Kakashi drawls lazily, not really paying attention to Gai; the bowl-haired sensei taking his time observing the auburn-haired, green-eyed beauty of Kirigakure.

"Yes." Gai nods. "Your carelessness is quite unbecoming."

"That doesn't really concern me." Kakashi mutters dismissively. "I've never been one to care about the opinions of others."

"I don't trust her." Gai mutters absently.

Kakashi raises his head, seeing Gai leaning against the wall with his eyes following the Mizukage. The silver haired jounin resists the urge to let out a laugh. "Of course you don't… no one in the village does."

Gai turns on him, giving him a curious look. "What about you?"

The silver haired ninja shrugs his shoulders, not really caring for the question and the intensity of the way it's been asked. "I'm a ninja, Gai. What do you think?"

Gai is silent for a long while, which is very unlike him. But then he's back full force and he's bouncing around like the happy madman he is. "Well, I'd say you wouldn't trust her either… but then again, you're quite the oddball, so I can't really say."

Kakashi stares at his rival for a moment. "You're the one with the weird haircut, yet I'm the oddball?"

"Indeed." Gai smiles. "We should go and meet with the Hokage. It's nearly time for our mission to take place."

Kakashi sighs and gives Gai a disapproving look. "How about you head over there first, and I'll catch up to you soon."

Because he's Gai, he doesn't hesitate, always one to please the village leader in every way possible. Being late is something he wouldn't normally do, and he was definitely not starting now. Especially when a previous enemy village's Kage is walking around the village of Konoha. "See ya."

Kakashi lets out a relieved sigh, slumping further against the bark of the tree he's currently perched atop. His eyes roam the training grounds, and for one brief moment, he wonders about Gai's question. Of course, he doesn't trust the Mizukage, but… he can't exactly say he sees her as a threat. Threats aren't painstakingly beautiful, are they? He's only seen her once, and though it was from afar, he couldn't deny that the Mizukage was indeed, very attractive… and dare he think it, as beautiful as the Hokage?

…

Kakashi Hatake was not a happy man as of right now. As a matter of fact, he was miserable. He had been honored when Lady Tsunade chose him as her first bodyguard alongside Gai. But then nighttime fell upon the village, and he was forced to stay behind with the Hokage herself, as well as the Mizukage, at a bar no less, while Gai, Chojuro and Ao went on their own to secure the Hokage Tower before the two Kage's turn in for the night. You see, apparently, when a Kage is doing business in another Kage's village, she gets the utmost attention of not only the village, but the Kage of said village as well. And Kakashi, being the tardy idiot he tends to be, was held back to do the boring part of the mission while the others ran out and had all the fun. And no, he's not guarding the two Kage's… babysitting, is the more accurate word for it.

He's seated between the two, slightly insane, ill-tempered, yet beautiful Kage's… and though they're both older than him, they're extremely childish when it comes to alcohol. They've both consumed more alcohol than either could handle, so you should find that his discomfort is completely understandable.

"I'll tell you one thing," Mei Terumi begins from Kakashi's left, nearly smacking him in the face when she waves a hand in the air. "The sake here is definitely better than ours."

Tsunade snorts from Kakashi's right. "Of course it is! The sake here is the best. Right, Kakashi?"

He resists the urge to roll his unhidden eye. "Yes, of course, Hokage-sama."

"See?"

The Mizukage laughs, leaning against Kakashi's arm. He immediately tenses up, not really at the point of trust with the auburn-haired beauty. "Youuu." She drawls drunkenly, poking a slim forefinger into Kakashi's chest through his flak jacket. "Why do you cover your face?"

Tsunade snorts again from Kakashi's right, and yet again, he resists the urge to roll his eye. Before he could answer, Tsunade beats him to the punch. "He will never answer that question."

He figures the Hokage is right about that. He usually just finds a way to change the subject, and he's extremely good at that. It's a gift.

"Why not?" Mei asks curiously, leaning further into his side.

She was much too close now. Too close to be appropriate. Again, Tsunade answers for him.

"He'll also never tell you why he won't answer that question."

The Mizukage's scent was filling his nostrils even through his mask. It was a pleasant fragrance of Jasmine and a hint of vanilla, coupled with the potency of sake. It was oddly alluring. The only other person, who smells similar to the Mizukage, happens to be sitting on his other side. Kakashi squirms a little at the next question that escapes the Mizukage's cherry red lips.

"Are you so hideous that you'd hide behind that mask?"

Of course, he knows he's not ugly. On the contrary, he prides himself on being quite attractive. The mask is really just a cover. Literally and metaphorically. You see, emotions are often readable on a person's face… so if no one can see his face, then no one can know his emotions. No one knows when he's smiling, or frowning, or even nervous. The less emotion you show, the less attention you draw to yourself. He's never really been the socializing type.

Tsunade laughs, scooting closer to Kakashi and leaning against his right arm. "On the contrary, Mizukage-sama… Kakashi is actually one of my most attractive jonin's."

At that, the Mizukage sits up straighter, raising an eyebrow at Kakashi. "Is that so?"

Kakashi swallows hard. A raised eyebrow from the Hokage means three different things. One, she's questioning. Two, she's disagreeing. Or three, she's curious… he knows her well. But he doesn't know the Mizukage at all, so he doesn't know what to expect.

"So you've seen him?" Mei asks across the silver haired ninja beside her.

Tsunade nods, leaning back against Kakashi's arm. "The only time anyone has seen his face, is when he's unconscious."

"Ah, I see."

Kakashi's eye travels over the bar occupants, not seeing Gai or any of the Mizukage's bodyguards around. Again, he wishes he had been the one to leave to help scope out the Hokage tower. Anything is better than the torture he's enduring here.

"Kakashi?" Tsunade asks from his right, a note of curiosity coloring her tone.

"Yes, Hokage-sama?"

"Why do you wear the mask?"

Really? Of all the times she could've asked me, she chooses now?! "Errrm… My face gets cold easily." He lies easily.

"What?"

He nods as if to confirm that yes, it happens. "Some people get frostbite on their fingers and toes… I get them on my face."

Mei turns to look at him with an odd expression on her face. "That doesn't make any sense at all."

"Of course it doesn't… given your state, nothing makes sense to you."

"My state?" Mei questions. "What of it?"

The silver-haired elite jonin shrugs his shoulders, "You're both drunk."

The gasp that Tsunade lets out is quite… surprising. "How dare you insinuate such lies?"

This time, Kakashi doesn't hold back on rolling his eyes. "Forgive me, Tsunade-sama, but I think it's best if I escort you both to the tower now. The hour is late and—,"

"Is he always this boring?" Mei asks Tsunade who giggles at the question.

"Always. You should hear his excuses for being late!" another round of giggles. "I mean, there is a category for good liars and bad liars, right?" Tsunade asks no one in particular. "And then there's Kakashi's category… the worst liar in the entire nation! It's surprising how he survived for so long." Another string of laughter and hiccupping.

Kakashi was not amused. "Yes, please do laugh at my expense. I can't even hear you." His sarcasm, though heavy in his voice, is left on deaf ears; for both females are still at it, nearly in tears from laughter.

"Ka—Kakashi—you are too darn gorgeous to be boring. Have some fun!" Tsunade slurs as she leans her entire weight against Kakashi's shoulder.

"I can't, Hokage-sama… I'm on duty, remember?"

"Oh, duty-shmooty!" Mei cuts in with a scoff. "This, is a celebration."

"Of what?" Kakashi questions confusedly.

Tsunade answers the question presented. "Life! You need one, Kakashi!"

"I already have one." Kakashi assures the Hokage who rolls her eyes and knocks back another glass of sake.

"No, you don't. You have a job. What you need, is a life. Where's the fun in going on missions and seeing the world when you can't even enjoy your surroundings?"

"Tsunade-sama, ninjas do not possess the time to be enjoying such things. We are at war with the other nations."

"Pish-Posh! Just admit that you're a boring ninja."

Okay, let's just pause right here. I am NOT a boring ninja!... am I?

According to Gai, you really are the most uninteresting shinobi in the village. Kakashi rolls his eyes at the tiny voice floating at the back of his mind.

Whatever. He retorts. I'm on a mission, and I will not let my guard down until the Mizukage and Hokage are safely escorted back to the Hokage Tower.

Fine. His other side, the one that sounds mysteriously like Gai juts in. Stay boring and dull then. You got two hot, sexy, cougar-like women, flanking either side of you, and you're concerned about the hour?! You're really losing your touch, man! If I were you, I'd milk this situation, and make sure I don't let the Kage's down by not giving them a good time tonight.

Yeah well, you're not me! Kakashi mentally snaps.

What the hell are you talking about? I AM you!.. but you're right. You're too boring… and you have horrible taste in women. Actually, I wonder if you even like women to begin with… hmmm.

What the hell's that supposed to mean?!

It means I think you're secretly gay.

Well I'm not! Kakashi mentally shrieks, outraged by his own thoughts. It's awfully weird for his own thoughts to turn against him like this. As if someone was…

Kakashi's eyes snap up towards the Mizukage to find her grinning devilishly at him. He turns his head to find the Hokage staring at him, a large mischievous grin evident on her face.

"Quick question, Kakashi." Mei drawls lazily, her face inching closer and closer to his. "Do you like women, or men?"

He's taken aback by the question, but he doesn't hesitate to answer and clear things up. "I'm not gay."

"Bisexual then?" Tsunade cuts in, causing Kakashi to turn his head to stare into her alluring chocolate brown eyes.

He shakes his head furiously in disagreement. "Not in the slightest. I like women."

"Are you sure?" Tsunade questions, her tone laced heavily with doubt. "Because in all the time I've known you, I have never ever heard of you having a relationship with anyone, let alone, showing interest in any girl. It makes me wonder."

"I assure you, Hokage-sama," Kakashi begins sheepishly, his face coloring red with embarrassment at the topic. "I like women… I just choose to keep my affairs and relationships a secret. The life of a shinobi is never safe and I don't want my actions to bring harm to anyone in the village."

Mei cuts in suddenly, her laughter booming through the conversation. "Are you telling me that you've been fucking girls on the down low without the knowledge of your Hokage?"

Tsunade raises an eyebrow at Kakashi, giving him a questioning look. "Yes, Kakashi. Do explain why I don't know about these women you're fucking behind closed doors."

"Ah, well… Ermmm, you see I errrr… I would rather not say."

Tsunade's eye twitches as she glares at Kakashi. "Have you been fucking my students?!"

"What?! I would never, Hokage-sama!"

"Who is it?!" she shrieks, grabbing him by the collar of his vest and pulling him in so that his face was a mere inch away from hers. "Sakura or Shizune?"

"Tsunade-sama, I would never sleep with either of them. Shizune is my friend, and Sakura used to be my student. She's like a daughter to me!"

The busty blonde reluctantly lets him go, but her eyes stay hard and full of suspicion. "Kakashi Hatake, if I hear news of you fucking one of my students, so help me god, I will rip your balls off. Are we clear?!"

"Crystal." Kakashi swallows audibly.

Mei chuckles in amusement at the scene that had unraveled right before her. "So if you're not fucking the Godaime Hokage's students, then who are you fucking, Hatake Kakashi?"

He sighs heavily. His hopes of staying responsible and alert are quickly slipping away. "No one."

Mei lets out a laugh that vibrates against his shoulder. "Kakashi, I've heard rumors about your magnificence in bed… surely there has to be a couple of women out there who you've been… exploring."

Kakashi lets out a heavy breath, sweat dripping down the side of his face. To be quite honest, he's hard. He's been hard all fucking night. And you can't blame him! He's been around the two busty Kage's for way too long, and there's not a single fucking sign of the other bodyguard's arriving anytime soon. "I don't think this is an appropriate topic for tonight, Mizukage-sama. I—,"

"Oh fuck appropriateness!" Tsunade cuts in, waving a hand in Kakashi's face. "We're all adults here, Kakashi. There's no need for propriety and such."

"Yes," Mei agrees, slipping a hand onto Kakashi's thigh. "Tell me, what's your type?"

The silver-haired jonin swallows down the lump forming in the back of his throat, inching away from the auburn-haired goddess, only to have the blonde goddess on his other side lean closer against him, running her red-painted nails slowly over his thigh and dragging them dangerously close to his crotch. It only makes him harder if that's even possible. "Errrr," he pauses, letting out a rather humorless laugh. "Type? Like blood type?"

The two Kage's roll their eyes at the silver haired ninja. "You know," Tsunade begins softly, "I never took you for a prude, Kakashi… on the field you're quite dominant, but off the field, you're quite… dull."

He opens his mouth to reply, but the only thing that escapes his lips is a faint gasp when Mei cups his aching erection in the palm of her hand.

"I must disagree with you on this one, Tsunade… he's certainly not dull. Far from it, actually." Her fingers squeeze him gently, emitting a yelp of surprise from him.

Tsunade grins wickedly, as her own hand inches closer to his crotch, until she too was feeling just how firm he was.

Kakashi's eye widens as he squirms in his chair, his face scorching with embarrassment. A round of giggles escapes the two women on either side of him, finally snapping the silver-haired jonin out of his momentary mortification. His fingers hastily wrap around their wrists, pulling the thin hands away from his manhood before he spontaneously combusts. "Okay, this needs to stop. This is getting way out of hand."

Another fit of laughter, Mei speaking first. "I agree. But you're the one who took it out of our hands."

"I think it's time for me to escort the both of you to bed now." He tells them, ignoring the Mizukage's humor.

"Indeed." Tsunade grins as her fingers wrap around his wrist. "It's about time you let that mask—,"

"—and pants,"

"Down."

He was sweating hard, down to grasping at straws. "Please, Hokage-sama, Mizukage-sama… this is highly forbidden."

"By whom?" Tsunade asks with a smirk and a perfectly plucked eyebrow raise.

Kakashi's mind pauses for a moment… Wait… that's a really good question, Hokage-sama. Who forbade this?

'I'll answer that!' a voice in his head answers excitedly. 'You did, you giant idiot!'

'Hey! Who the heck do you think you're calling an idiot?'

'You! This entire time, you've been dancing around your hardness for the Kage's who might I add, are extremely hot and horny, and you're worried about your motherfucking responsibilities!? Your responsibility tonight, is to make sure the Kage's are completely safe, sated, and pleased! Now wear a condom, strip the fuck down, and please them to their hearts content!'

"Done talking to yourself, Kakashi?" Tsunade asks in amusement.

Kakashi stares at the blonde Hokage, before slowly turning his eye to the auburn-haired Mizukage. With a new burst of confidence and poise, he slowly slides off his chair and takes a deep breath. "I'll be taking you both to the Hokage tower now."

Mei and Tsunade's eyebrows shoot up on their foreheads at his poised tone. "And what will you do when we arrive there?" Mei inquires curiously as Tsunade leans forward, both eager to know his intentions for tonight.

Kakashi only grins wickedly as he pulls his headband away from his hidden eye and opens his eye. "My duty..." with a wicked grin, he activates his sharingan, drawing audible gasps from the Kage's. "To do as you both please."

…

Author's Note: Okay, I'm not entirely sure what this is. I thought it'd be a one-shot, but it turned out much longer than I thought it'd be. So I'm gonna add another chapter. Next chapter will include the whereabouts of Gai, Chojuro, and Ao, as well as some other things. Anyway, I hope you guys kind of liked it. And if you do, let me know! Thanks for reading, and please review!

-McDiggin'It